With Eyes to Hear
by amelia day
Summary: Peeta Mellark has always relied on two things: his eyes and Katniss Everdeen. They've never thought of themselves as anything but normal...it's everyone else who has always had the issue. Modern Day AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Just want to take a moment to give a huge thank you to my beta and friend: fnurfnur and also to my good friend, misshoneywell who not only pre-reads this story for me but has been the best support system around. Not only has she offered her words of wisdom, but she helped me to outline the entire thing and has listened as babble on for hours and hours. I love you both!

_"Italics" _means speaking in sign language.

_Italics _means writing.

* * *

**Chapter One: In Which it All Begins**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_September 2003_

"_I don't want to go to school," _I frown, my lip quivering as Dad takes my hand and leads me to the school bus. Rye and Bannock are several paces ahead of us, jumping and skipping over puddles of water from the heavy rain last night.

"_Why not? You were excited to start the second grade last week," _Dad signs back, his eyebrows knitting in confusion, lips forming a tight line.

"_That was before I went," _I glower.

"_Did something happen?" _Dad asks, but immediately his eyes go from where they're trained on me to up the street. I follow his gaze and see Rye and Bannock chanting something, but Dad only holds his pointer finger up to them in return, motioning for them to wait.

They stop in their tracks reluctantly.

Dad bends down to my height and runs a hand through my mess of hair.

"_Nobody wants to be friends with me in second grade. Can't I go back to the small classroom like last year?"_

Last year, my class was only six students, and all of them were _special. _One girl couldn't see, and another one was just like me and couldn't hear... only she couldn't speak sign language either. The other three had a mental disability.

"_Peeta, you're the one who wanted to be in the big boy classroom, remember?"_

He's right. I begged Dad to ask the school if I could go to the normal classrooms and they agreed, but only if I had the help of an aid who would translate things for me and help me along.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, because being in that small class made me feel _different. _

But being in the big class made me feel _weird._

"_Have you tried making friends with any of the other kids?"_

"_No."_

"_Why not?" _

"_I'm not dumb, Dad," _I frown, the big yellow bus pulling up to the end of the street. _"I know I'm weird. No one understands how to talk to me. And how can you play if you don't talk?"_

"_Peeta-" _Dad begins, but I place my hands on top of his to stop him.

"_Bye Dad."_

Rye grabs my hand in his own and leads me onto the bus with a reassuring smile, using his other arm to wave goodbye to Dad who stands frowning on the deserted street.

Bannock, Rye and I all cram into one of the seats in the middle of the bus while most of the other kids shoot for the back. Rye told me once that the cool kids sit back there, and one even offered to let _him _sit back there too.

"_Why don't you then?" _I wondered, but Rye only shrugged, as if it weren't a big deal.

"_I like it better sitting with you and Bannock."_

But the way his face droops and eyes go blank as he watches all his friends crowd to the back has me thinking he's telling a fib.

* * *

When the bus pulls into the loop, my aid is waiting right by the doors for me. Rye and Bannock wave goodbye as they excitedly speed off to find their friends.

I look up at the tall woman with pin straight brown hair that ends right past her ears and small wrinkles in the corner of her eyes. She wears bright red lipstick and too much purple stuff over the top of her eyes.

I can't help but think she'd be prettier without it.

She smiles down at me and reaches out to take my hand in her own.

_Ms. Coin, _I remember her introducing herself to me.

"_Coin," _she signed, fishing into her pocket and pulling out a quarter, placing it in my palms. _"Like a quarter." _

I concluded that I liked her, after I got a gum ball at the grocery store with her quarter that night.

Ms. Coin leads me to my classroom, three lefts and a right past the main doors and reminds me of where my seat in the room is - even though I hadn't forgotten.

Mrs. White, the teacher who taught the main group of students in class, offers me a shy smile and wave of the fingers. Ms. Coin suggests I say hello, so I bashfully wave my hand in her direction.

She asks how I'm doing this morning in broken sign language, but I'm able to make out the expression anyway and smile up at her, because she looks extremely pleased with herself.

I flash her a thumbs up, knowing anything else I do will only have to be translated by Ms. Coin. Mrs. White pats my head gently and continues to make her way around the room to greet other students for the morning.

It's hard to ignore the stares and curious looks of my classmates as the morning goes on and Ms. Coin begins to interpret what Mrs. White is saying rather...dramatically.

I feel my cheeks reddening as I see some of their lips curl up into a smile and whisper to their friends.

Mrs. White and Ms. Coin chat while the others play during break time mid-morning. After learning I like drawing, Ms. Coin bought me a coloring book and a pack of crayons. It's not exactly the same as drawing, but the gesture was a kind one so during this free time I sit coloring at my desk.

I glance up when I see the shadow of a girl in front of me and Ms. Coin pushing her away gently, but the girl resists. Ms. Coin is telling her something, pointing over to a group of two or three more girls who are playing dolls but this girl only shakes her head.

She looks directly at me and her mouth begins moving. She pauses and looks to me expectantly. I eye her flustered, then turn my gaze to Ms. Coin who shrugs her shoulders in exasperation, talking to the girl some more.

The girl takes one of my crayons and a piece of paper and begins scribbling madly.

_I'm Katniss, _she writes on the paper that she scoots in my direction.

I turn to look at her in shock, eyes widening in confusion before looking back to the paper and the crayon she's pushing past my closed fist.

_I'm Peeta._

_Mrs. White says you can't hear._

_I can't. _I respond, dejectedly.

_But you can read._

It's not a question, it's a statement.

_Yes. _

_Can we be friends? _she writes on the paper and I feel the table vibrating under me as she strums her fingers against it, glancing casually around the room.

_How can we be friends? _I question back, frowning and the odd girl in front of me shrugs.

_You have to be able to talk to be friends._

_Says who? _she questions, her handwriting neat even with the thick crayon. _And anyways, we're talking right now._

_This isn't talking, this is writing. _

The girl - Katniss - rolls her eyes, messing with the tip of her braid.

_You understand me, right?_

_Right. _

_Then let's be friends. I don't like anyone else here. _

I look up to see Katniss timidly smiling and offer her one in return.

_Okay._

* * *

_November 2012 _

There's a sharp prod at my shoulder and my body jumps, eyes fluttering open only to shut tightly at the bright light shining through the window. It can't be morning already, can it?

The nudge comes from Katniss who refuses to sit still and continues to jostle the mattress, pushing me further and further from sleep. Her small foot kicks my thigh roughly and I finally lift my head to face her, giving what I hope is my best _fuck off _face.

Katniss raises an eyebrow in my direction, a cocky smirk lacing her lips and I run a sleepy hand through my hair before face planting back into my pillow in frustration.

I've never been one for mornings.

The sudden warmth of the blankets disappears and is replaced with the chilly air of the room, pebbling my skin with goosebumps at the sudden change in climate.

"_Rude." _I lift my hands to sign, not bothering to look up at her. I know she's laughing, I can feel the bed shaking with the effort it takes for her to stop. I fight to find the covers, flinging my hands across the mattress like a fish out of water before finally giving up and turning to glare in Katniss's direction.

"_Good morning, sunshine."_

Her smile is beaming sarcastically and she places her hands around her small cheeks after she's finished signing to me.

I roll my eyes dramatically at her and yawn tiredly, my eyes closing and arms stretching behind me stiffly.

When my eyes reopen, I see Katniss staring at me; nose wrinkled and eyes trained on my lips with disgust. I stare at her in confusion.

"_Morning breath."_ she responds.

"_Shut up."_

"_Go home. I need to get ready for school."_

I stick my tongue out in her direction, swinging my legs over the side of the bed and grab the jeans that sit in a ball on the ground below me. Once they're over my hips and buttoned I slip the sweatshirt I wore over here last night on and smooth it out over my chest.

Katniss is still wearing my shirt, bundled up in the warmth of the covers she stole from me. I give her a terse wave goodbye and exit her room.

Prim is in the bathroom, curling her hair. Her lips are moving but she's not looking in my direction, or at anyone in particular. Her eyes are trained on the mirror ahead, and there's a small cordless radio that sits on the counter top beside her. She must be singing along to the music.

"_It's a good thing you're deaf," _Katniss has bluntly told me on multiple occasions when her sister is singing. Apparently, it's not all that good. Although even if I were to miraculously gain the function of hearing, I'm not sure I'd know what sounded "good" or "bad."

Prim smiles in my direction and offers me a wave with her free hand. I mimic the motion before heading down the stairs. Prim's knowledge of sign language is very basic, not that I'd expect it to be anything more.

We usually just use Katniss as an interpreter when we want to talk - that's how it is for most of my friends really - but it makes conversation between the other party and myself very impersonal. And, Katniss gets annoyed very quickly.

It's not odd for the Everdeens to wake up and find me in their home. It's been this way for as long as I can remember; Katniss spending the night at my place, me coming over late into the evening to crash here.

I live just one street over, about a five minute walk and one minute drive from Katniss. We hadn't realized how close we lived to one another until nearly the fourth grade, when I finally convinced Dad (and myself) that it was all right to go over to Katniss's house after school.

Dad was the one who pointed out to me one winter night that you could see Katniss's street through the bare trees that littered our backyard. That summer, Katniss and I explored the thin woods and found a small - but clear - path that connected our streets to one another.

I take that route now, walking down to the end of Katniss's street and up the side of someone's yard into the woods where I know the path lies.

It hasn't begun snowing here in Panem yet, but the thick gray clouds that forecast the sky and the bone chilling winds that have already begun this early in the morning have me thinking it'll be along soon.

I'm not surprised to see the lights on when I approach my house and turn the knob with red hands. Rye is in the kitchen, standing over the toaster with a stern look of impatience. He offers me a quick nod of the head, but nothing more. None of us are big on waking up.

I slip my shoes off, turning my attention to the door I haven't shut when the ground under me vibrates. I turn in Rye's direction and see him stomping his foot in an effort to gain my attention.

He points to the toast.

"_Want some?"_

I shake my head and he shrugs, taking half of a piece into his mouth with one bite.

I won't have time to shower I realize as I walk up the stairs and see the door pressed shut, steam rising out from the bottom, but I should at least wash the sleep away from my face.

While I wait for Bannock to finish in the bathroom, I change from the jeans I wore yesterday into a fresh pair and new shirt. I'll have to remember to get that other shirt back from Katniss some other time.

Although, it looked better on her than it ever did on me.

_Knock it off._

They were pointless thoughts that fluttered into my mind on and off depending on my mood, but in the end they were nothing more than that: _pointless thoughts._

Because Katniss and I are a lot of things, but _lovers _is not one of them.

But that doesn't stop the fact that she wears my clothes better than I do from being true.

Bannock darts down the hall, clad only in a towel with rosy cheeks from the warmth of the water. He does a double take into my room, looking stunned to see me, but then offers a neutral smile.

After washing my face and brushing my teeth I decide to take Rye up on the offer of toast. He pops a piece for me while I pour orange juice into a small glass.

"_Don't forget you and Katniss have the shift after school."_

"_Have I ever forgotten?" _I question, rolling my eyes.

Dad owns a small corner store in the center of town, where families can come to buy breads and fresh pastries. That's how everything is around here because there's no actual grocery store in Panem, just a bunch of small shops you need to travel in and out of depending on what you're looking for.

The town took a vote a few years back on whether or not to build a grocery store chain, but the vote was unanimous. Not many people welcomed "change."

That's mostly because the same folks have lived here for generations. Even the "Mellark Bakery" is not something invented by Dad. It's been passed down for decades to the eldest Mellark son.

I'll be the first to change that tradition however, because neither Bannock nor Rye (just fifteen minutes apart in age) have the desire to own and run a bakery. In fact, I won't be surprised if they decide to leave town all together after they finish school this year.

I don't mind working in the bakery, in fact I welcome the couple shifts I'm assigned each week. Baking was one of the first things I learned how to do that Bannock and Rye did too, besides simple things like tying shoes and writing my name.

Dad was always really good at keeping me included growing up, but even he couldn't help things beyond his control, like going to the movie theaters.

So, the couple times Bannock and Rye would run off to see the new blockbuster, Dad would take me to the bakery and let me make anything I wanted: treat breads, desserts - nothing was off limits.

And I always figured that time was much more valuable than any movie.

When I was in ninth grade and Dad began cutting back on his shifts at the bakery, he hired Katniss to work the same hours as me. I'm not an idiot, and knew exactly why he was; that I couldn't work alone, but he played it off with the fact that she needed a job too.

Which was true, she did, and she didn't seem to mind tagging around with me not only all day at school but for several hours afterward too.

"_Just a reminder," _Rye signed, taking a swig of the orange juice I poured and ruffling my hair. _"I'm driving separate. Practice after school."_

Rye and Bannock have both been wrestlers since middle school, growing progressively stronger at the sport as years went by, leading them to where they are now as the regional champion and runner-up in our small county.

I wrestled for a few years too, back when I was younger. I was actually pretty good at it. Rye used to tease me that it was because my other senses were heightened, but Bannock said he only said those things because he was jealous his younger brother could pin him to the ground.

I stopped in the beginning of eighth grade, when we were at a competition a few towns over and the third round of the match had come to an end. I was on a winning streak, and the kid I beat was bitter. He snuck up behind me and pushed me hard as he could to the gymnasium floor before his fist started flying.

I actually felt bad for him, once Bannock and Rye got a hold of him.

Needless to say, they were put on one month probation and it spooked me into quitting - much to coach's dismay.

I knew it was a dumb sport for me to get involved in anyway, and even Dad was hesitant to letting me join, but I've never liked using my disability as a crutch or excuse.

I grab my book bag and keys before following Bannock and Rye out the door, back into the blistering cold. The tree that sits square in our front yard has maybe ten leaves clinging to its branches, the rest scattered about on the damp lawn.

I watch as a particularly strong wind passes by and knocks two or three more down and tuck my hands into my pockets, shivering. Winter has never been my favorite season physically, but its beauty in scenery has always been something I've found particularly fascinating to draw or paint.

When I turn on my car, the warmth that emits from the vents fogs my windows and tints my cheeks dark pink. I sit back in my seat and wait for the defroster to set in, feeling the vibration of the car all around my body.

Bannock and Rye went the morning of their sixteenth birthday to get their learner's permits and that very afternoon begged our pale white father to take them out on the road.

"_Times like these I'm certain your mother would have been better at this," _he told me later that afternoon when I asked how it went. His lips were turned up into a smile as he signed, but when he took in my sullen expression, his softened.

"_But, I think they did just fine." _he finished lamely.

When I turned sixteen, it took me a week to gain the courage to ask Dad if he'd take me to get my learner's permit. I had done the research thoroughly, and it was actually proven that people without the ability to hear are _better_ drivers, since they aren't distracted by music or telephone calls.

Katniss ended up convincing me to ask.

"_I can't cart you around our entire lives," _she teased before pushing me into the room where Dad sat watching the evening news. She flashed me a thumbs up when I turned back to her nervously bunching my shirt in my hands.

Dad waited patiently as I began signing crazily, shifting on my feet and sweating with worry before agreeing to take me to get my permit. His one requirement was that we hire a teacher who specialized in this particular field, which I was actually relieved to hear.

And might I add, it took Bannock two times to pass his road test and Rye four times.

I passed on my first.

When the windows are clear and my steering wheel doesn't feel like an icicle, I back out of the driveway slowly and make my way down the end of my street, turning almost instantly onto Katniss's.

For a while, when we both finally got cars - crappy cars, but cars none the less - we were driving to school separately. It took only about two weeks to realize this was an extreme waste of gas and we began car-pooling; switching drivers every other day.

I pull into her driveway and beep the horn once, turning to look up at the door like always, which swings open almost on cue. Katniss pops her head out, motioning to me that she'll be another second and disappears back inside.

Just to piss her off, I beep it a couple more times.

Prim and Katniss submerge a few minutes later. Prim is giggling and Katniss flashes me her middle finger.

We pass a lot of farmland on the way to school in our small town, some with actual barnyard animals like cows and sheep eating the small tuffs of grass left and some filled with wheat and other crops.

Prim scuttles off almost immediately after I park, only coming back to grab a couple dollars from Katniss for lunch before rushing off to meet with her friends or whatever she does in the mornings.

Katniss's cheeks grow puffy before she blows a thick wave of air out dejectedly.

"_Is it three o'clock yet?"_

I smirk, shaking my head as we casually head toward the side doors of the school, which will lead us down the long hallway we meet up with the rest of our friends each morning.

"_Don't get too excited," _I mention to her, holding the door for her when we make it to the warmth of the building. _"We work right after."_

"_I wouldn't really consider that work, but that's just my opinion."_

She's right. We hardly ever actually _work _and even when we do, it's always fun. Rolling and kneading dough, decorating cakes and cutting out cookies passes rather quickly with good company.

Sometimes it feels weird to think we're being paid to hang out.

I notice Johanna making her way toward us in the distance when Katniss's eyes brighten with recognition and she gives a quick wave into the sea of students.

Johanna seems miserable. Her short black hair is tucked behind her head in what I think is an attempt at a bun and she wears a thick pair of aviators over her eyes. She has a thermos in her hands and blows on the top of it when she approaches, mouth moving a mile a minute in Katniss's direction.

Katniss met Johanna Mason when we were in sixth or maybe seventh grade... I don't really remember. After deeming her "friend material" she introduced me and that was the first time it was ever not just Katniss and I.

After Johanna came Madge Undersee who knew Finnick Odair, who introduced us to Gale Hawthorne when he moved here in the ninth grade. After that, things sort of fell into the place they are now.

None of them know sign language, just basic lines they've picked up from Katniss here and there, but not nearly enough to try to even begin communicating. Still, they've always tried their hardest to include me by texting me or telling Katniss to tell me something: like a joke or a compliment, typically.

I always smile at their kind efforts, but it's not the same.

The students who have to fight to push past us glare at us annoyingly. Stopping in the middle of the hallway was probably not the smartest idea, so I grab both girls' forearms and pull them off to the side where some lockers are.

Johanna acknowledges me for the first time that morning by holding her hand up for a high five. When I return the gesture she nods smoothly and pats my arm affectionately. She mumbles a few more words to Katniss before they say goodbye and she bolts past us with purpose.

Katniss rolls her eyes when she meets my expectant ones and shrugs her shoulders.

"_Girl drama. Nothing interesting, trust me."_

I smile at that and she winks, motioning for me to continue with her down the hall.

Katniss and I have all our main classes together as well as lunch. A few years back, towards the end of eight grade, the school agreed to not making me walk around with the help of an aid all the time if Katniss was in class with me. She could communicate with me better than any of them could anyway.

But for my electives, an aide still accompanies me, because Katniss refused to sign up for art class and I refused archery.

"_Bell rang, we should head off to class," _Katniss signs after nudging my arm roughly.

Even after all these years, people still stare when Katniss and I begin signing to one another. It was worse when we were younger, and kids were genuinely curious as to why Katniss wasted the time and effort it too to be friends with me. They didn't realize I wondered the same things every day.

When our teacher began to pick up on the fact that Katniss and I had grown a liking to one another, she started to worry that perhaps it wasn't the healthiest friendship. I still remember Katniss telling me all about it in our notebook later that day.

Ms. Coin talked to me about Katniss as well.

"_What do you like about her?" _she'd ask, but I'd only ever shrug, twiddling my hands within one another.

"_She likes me."_

"_But do you like her?" _

I nodded.

"_Why?"_

"_She's funny."_

"_Is it odd that you have to write everything down to talk with this girl?"_

I nodded.

"_Would you rather make friends who can talk to you how we talk? Or how you and your daddy talk?"_

I shake my head.

"_Why not?"_

"_Because that doesn't seem fair."_

"_What do you mean?" _Ms. Coin asked me, her expression perplexed and growing impatient.

"_Well, she likes me even though I can't hear. So I like her, even though she can."_

I snicker at the memory, trying to imagine the thoughts Ms. Coin had had at my simple explanation and the conversations her and Ms. White had afterward.

Katniss and I have never cared what was considered "normal" or "right." We liked one another, and to us that's all it took to make things work. It's everyone else who seemed to always have the issue.

* * *

On the short drive home, we get stuck behind a tractor going possibly ten miles an hour. I let out an annoyed breath as I'm practically in park trailing behind the slow vehicle that refuses to make it easy for me or the small line of vehicles forming behind me.

I watch Katniss's hand slip over to my radio on a few separate occasions, scoping through channels before settling on a station and leaning further into her seat, tapping her fingers along her thighs - either to the beat or in annoyance, I'm not sure which.

A couple minutes later, when we're not even twenty feet further, a small milky white hand creeps between my seat and Katniss's in attempt to hit a button, but Katniss smacks it, sending it flying into the back.

I catch Prim pouting through the rearview mirror and wonder what Katniss listens to that annoys her badly.

* * *

It's a little after five o'clock in the afternoon when Katniss and I lean against the counter top with a sigh of relief at the rush finally dying down in the bakery. All that's really left to do is pack up the extra things of dough, wrap today's leftovers and clean a little bit.

Katniss steals a freshly baked cookie off the rack and shoves the other half past my lips in an attempt to feel less guilty about it.

"_What are you doing tonight?" _I question and Katniss makes an exasperated expression.

"_Prim needs me to help her with her math homework. I asked her to ask Mom for help when she got home from work, but apparently she doesn't remember how to do it. Then I guess I should do at least a little of my own."_

I snort with a nod in agreement, moving to lock up the doors and flip the sign from open to close.

"_Unless you want to help her, Mr. Math Genius," _Katniss smirks, resting her hands on her hips when she finishes.

"_I'd love to, but you see, I already have plans tonight," _I shrug and Katniss's lips open just wide enough for me to recognize that she's laughing. It's my favorite of her expressions.

"_Right, what plans do you have?"_

"_It involves introducing my butt to the couch."_

"_They met a long time ago, Peeta."_

I smile, rolling my eyes teasingly.

"_Catching up as old friends then," _I retort as we turn out the lights and walk down the small set of steps leading up to the bakery's front door.

"_You'll come over later though?" _Katniss asks, her entire body stiffening with the piercing wind passing by.

"_Of course."_

* * *

Thank you for checking out my new story!

**If you read Eggshells... **I am still updating and I will be posting the new chapter soon. I've just been trying to get far ahead with this story so I don't have to worry about writing it in-between updates, so now that I have more than half this story completed I will be updating Eggshells soon. Thank you for your patience.

If you have a tumblr, feel free to follow me! Details on my profile.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Another thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

Friendly reminder that _"italics" _means sign language and _italics _means writing or texting depending on context.

* * *

**Chapter Two: In Which Accidents Happen**

* * *

_December 2006_

I pull on my boots as quickly as I can, eager to get over to Katniss's house for the afternoon. It's the first weekend it's _really_ snowed, and we're going to try building a snowman, although with her it'll probably just turn into a snowball fight.

After all my winter gear is on, I jump into the kitchen, pulling on Dad's shirt eagerly. He's chopping onions - I could smell them from the other room - making some kind of stir fry for dinner.

"_Bye Dad! I'll be home later. Can Katniss come over for dinner?" _She loves Dad's cooking.

His smile increases as he pats me on the head and bends down to my height, taking both sides of my coat and fastening it closed.

"_Have fun, and be safe. Of course she's always welcome for dinner."_

I flash him a toothy smile and give him a quick hug goodbye before skipping out the door into the cold weather.

The streets are lit with decorations and Christmas trees shine through windows in each house. We just got our tree a couple weeks ago. It's a scrawny little thing, but the memory of Bannock, Rye, Father and I all laughing because of how sad it looked is one that makes me smile while I cut the path to Katniss's house.

Mrs. Everdeen's car is missing, which means she is at work and Prim is probably at daycare. Katniss insists she can watch over Prim better than any daycare can, and I believe her - she's a good big sister - but Mrs. Everdeen tells her she's too young to look after Prim.

I knock on the green door twice and wait, shuffling from foot to foot to keep my blood flow going. When she doesn't come, I ring the doorbell. Katniss has told me before it doesn't always work, so I'm not surprised when still no one answers.

I twist the knob to find it's open and push the door in, stepping inside behind it. I stomp my feet loudly, signaling I'm here, but still no Katniss.

I'm starting to wonder if maybe she had to leave suddenly. Maybe something is wrong. Color drains my face at the possibility of Katniss being in trouble or hurt, and I kick off my boots, eager to find her.

After checking the kitchen, I walk into her family room and breathe a sigh of relief when I find her sitting Indian-style in front of the television, her hands moving awkwardly with the woman on the TV. It takes only a second glance to process what she is trying to do.

And my mouth drops open in shock.

I can sense the frustration in her features without even meeting her face. The way her back slumps and how she runs a hand through the top of her messy hair says it all.

I tap my foot against the wood of the floor gently and she practically jumps out of her skin, fumbling to turn off the television, cheeks red as a tomato.

She shoots me a funny smile and I raise an eyebrow at her, chancing taking a couple steps forward, mocking her position on the floor beside her.

Our notebook sits under a stack of ASL DVDs.

_What are you doing?_I write down on the pad of paper.

_Nothing. You're nosy. _

I smirk at her response, scribbling once more on the pad.

_Why were you watching a sign language tape?_

_Why do you think? _she writes back, looking in my direction like I'm dull. Of course I know _why _she's watching one - who else would she be trying to communicate with? I guess I was more wondering why she would go to so much effort for me.

I've always wondered this though. I'm the lucky one in our relationship; it's always been that way. She doesn't need me half as much as I need her.

Yet, she continues to amaze me.

She bites her lip, looking up at me with rounded eyes while her hand continues on the paper.

_I'm sick of all this writing down everything business. My mom found one of our old notebooks and was actually reading it!_

My cheeks flush at the thought. It would help, even if we could find a journal with a lock on it. I understand her frustration of others lurking in our private conversations, but I would never expect her to learn a language for me.

_Plus, don't you want to have our own secret language? _she writes, squeezing my forearm.

_Thank you._

_Don't thank me yet, _she writes, shaking her head. _I suck at this._

I smile at her words, shaking my head. The couple of sentences I had seen her struggle to follow along with had been about construction working, nothing she would probably ever need.

_You're too ambitious, _I try explaining without sounding condescending. _You should start with small phrases._

_Like?_

I think for a moment, my hands strumming on my thighs in concentration before I curl my middle and ring finger down, leaving my thumb, finger and pinky sticking up.

_I love you._

She stares at my hand for a moment before bursting out in laughter, her mouth wide and body shaking. I frown, looking at my hand and back at her form.

_What?_

_You must think I'm an idiot. Everyone knows that._

She copies the gesture with ease before grabbing my hand and willing me to do the same and then slowly, pressing her hand to mine and connecting the three fingers that pointed upward.

_Well, you have to start somewhere._

* * *

_November 2012 _

I flip through one of the many old notebooks Katniss and I filled up with a smile. She has about five of the spirals tucked inside a drawer in her nightstand. I have a couple more back at my place.

I told Katniss my first secrets on these pages, and she told me hers. Our trust for one another ran endlessly as we chattered on about things as important as our fears and thoughts, to funny jokes and drawings.

I turn to a page with a large dandelion twisting and turning up the corner of the page. Next to it is a long, curly arrow leading to the words: _Show off. _

Katniss is currently running around her bedroom like a chicken with its head cut off while I lay here waiting. Although everything in her room has a place and is kept fairly organized, she always seems to be missing _something._

Today it's a gray sweater.

"_Can't you just wear something else?" _I question when she turns to me in frustration. _"Since when do you care what you wear anyway?"_

"_I don't, I just have that stupid presentation today, remember?" _Oh right, the one I was able to get out of by just writing a simple thousand word essay.

"_Part of the grade is appearance." _

She falls down onto her back beside me and runs her palms over her cheeks and eyes. When they reopen, she looks to me curiously, sitting up straighter on the bed.

"_What are you reading?"_

I hand her the notebook and watch her expression as she reads the short passage of when she was first attempting to learn sign language. Her eyes brighten and lips turn up just slightly as she continues to read.

She flips the page and reveals a long series of words. When we first began, I would write down a certain word for her and then show the sign that went along with it.

_Cat._

_Dog._

_Fish._

_Bird._

_Brother._

_Sister._

_Mother._

_Father._

And so on.

Katniss takes the pen that is tucked between the spirals of the book and clicks it open, jotting something down at the bottom.

_Such a pain in the ass. But worth it.- 11/12._

She offers me a smile before shutting the notebook and dropping it back down onto her bed. She pulls the black t-shirt she's wearing over her head and straightens out the tank top underneath before putting on a similar looking black sweater, only with long sleeves and fuzzier material.

It's one of my favorite sweaters Katniss owns. The way it clings to her accentuates the curves of her chest and stomach nicely. I'd never tell her this of course, that'd be crossing some sort of line we've managed to draw.

She shoves my forehead playfully, knocking me out of my thoughts and grabs the bag that sits in the corner of her room.

"_Ready to go?"_

I nod, jumping up from the bed and shutting off the light she always forgets about. With my head turned in that direction, I notice a small pill bottle and pick it up, shaking it experimentally.

Katniss pokes her head back in the room and I grin toothily at her.

"_What's this for?" _I smirk slyly, pointing to the bottle of birth control on her nightstand.

"_I've had it for months, Peeta," _she rolls her eyes, but the blush on her cheeks is notable. _"Helps to regulate my period if you must know."_

I scrunch up my face, _"No. Didn't need to know that."_

"_Period. Period!" _she chants as I push past her, successfully ignoring her.

Prim is already downstairs, slipping her shoes on when we come barreling down the steps. She gives us both a wave hello and shouts something in Katniss's direction as she heads further down the hallway.

I'm guessing Katniss has failed to respond because Prim rolls her eyes, blowing out a gust of air that lifts her heavy bangs slightly.

I pat her shoulder and she leans her head against me tiredly. Prim is sort of like the little sister I've never had, which works out well seeing as I'm the youngest sibling in my own family, and brothers aren't so..._cute._

Although we rely on Katniss to communicate, we do fine on the rare occasion we find ourselves together without her. It usually turns into some version of charades, with Prim bouncing up and down or pointing to things crazily.

Most people can make me smile, but she's one of the few that can make me actually laugh.

Katniss comes back into view holding three bananas. She throws one at Prim and another in my direction before taking the lead of heading out the door.

The ride to school is quicker than yesterday, for some reason we've hit a significant decrease in traffic and we pull up to the school with nearly fifteen minutes to spare.

Prim hands Katniss her banana peel before heading off in the opposite direction as us, as always. Her long blonde hair is done up in two French braids which cascade down her back. She used to wear her hair like that all the time, but as she grew a little older and more "independent" she didn't like looking so much like Katniss, who wore some sort of braid every day.

"_You coming?" _Katniss asks, tugging on my arm and leading me to the side doors we walk through each morning.

We stop by my locker so I can exchange the binders I won't need until after lunch with the ones I need now. Katniss _hates_ the area my locker is located in, right next to the lunch rooms. The two times a day I stop by it (before school begins and at lunch) are the two busiest times and we're packed in like sardines.

Katniss glowers at a couple of particularly rude girls who bump into her and I grab hold of her arm to keep her from falling over...or knocking their teeth in.

"_Hurry up," _she threatens, grinding her teeth together in frustration. I pat the top of her head and shut my locker tightly.

"_Finished."_

Gale, Johanna, Finnick and Madge are waiting by Katniss's locker for us when we make our way to the top level of the building, huddled together in a semi-circular formation.

They collectively wave in a greeting and with a sarcastic smirk, Katniss turns to me and signs; _"They say hello."_

"_Oh thanks, Katniss." _

She winks before turning her attention to Madge, pulling flashcards out of the bag that slings across her side for the demonstration they have later on this morning. She's been really freaked out about it; Katniss has never been one for public speaking.

I told her multiple times last night she was going to be just fine, but of course as she scrambled to finish up the flashcard notes (ever the procrastinator) she only flicked her wrist at me in a silencing matter.

So Prim and I played card games until Grumpy cheered up.

"_P-E-E-T-A how doing you up to?" _Finnick signs slowly, his smile getting increasingly bigger with each word he finishes. He turns to Gale with pride. I think Katniss told me they had some sort of bet going on to see who could communicate with me better, faster.

Both of them suck, but I try to remember if I magically gained the ability to hear right this moment, they could be speaking German for all I'd know.

Finnick excitedly waits for my reply while Gale rolling his eyes at his friend's enthusiasm. Just to mess with them both I look to Finnick with furrowed eyebrows and a confused frown, holding my arms up in the universal _what? _expression.

His smile slowly vanishes and Gale's mouth opens wide with what I assume to be laughter as his fist bangs against the locker behind him, startling Katniss and Madge out of conversation.

Katniss turns to me and flashes a knowing grin before joining in the laughter with Gale.

"_Tell Finnick I'm just kidding."_

She does and he punches my arm playfully. The bell must ring because everyone looks up toward the ceiling in unison and the halls grow busier with people pushing their way through one another in order to get to their classes on time.

Katniss, Madge and I are all in the same first period English class together and slink along the halls together as the others disappear in the distance behind us.

Katniss grips the note cards in her hand like a vice, shaking like a leaf as she takes her seat in class. I note Madge's hand resting on her forearm, probably telling her everything will be okay.

She turns to me with a fake plastered smile.

"_You'll do great."_

"_We'll see," _she shrugs, her legs bouncing furiously underneath her desk.

Mr. Templesmith walks through the room and immediately his lips begin moving, as do Katniss's hands. She explains to me how we're starting class off right away with presentations and Cato Baxter and Glimmer Hammelton will have the honors of going first.

"_This ought to be good," _she adds at the end, her lips turned up wickedly. We've known Cato and Glimmer since way back when in elementary school, both of them being in our class the year Katniss and I befriended one another.

Even back then, they weren't exactly known for their fantastic grades, but rather their fantastic looks and athletic abilities. Some things never change, I suppose.

"_Wrong fact. Wrong fact. Boring. Lack of research showing," _Katniss begins signing, her facial expressions not matching her words as she made them lively and exciting, as if she were actually interpreting their presentation. The best part is that, no one has any idea.

"_Be glad you're deaf. Wrong information clogging my brain..."_

I snort, rolling my eyes at her dramatic antics that continue on until they sit back down in their seats.

"_I say, no higher than a fifty-five."_

"_Ouch."_

"_Hey, that's being generous." _

Her face changes from a playful smile to a deer in the headlights in a matter of seconds and the way everyone's heads turn in her direction leads me to believe it's her turn.

I give her a short wink and she tries smiling, but it only looks like she might vomit. Madge stands first and slowly Katniss follows suit until she's standing up in the front of the classroom.

I glance around at her half sleepy audience; faces masked in boredom while trained on her and Madge and give them a reassuring thumbs-up. Their heads cock in the direction of Mr. Templesmith and I watch as his mouth moves, talking directly in their direction for a long moment before sitting back down at his desk.

Madge steps forward to speak first, going through note card after note card while Katniss stands behind her, translating the words shakily for me. She messes up quite a few times and says things that make no sense given the topic, but I'll just keep that to myself.

It takes a few minutes for her to work her way through the notecards before she steps back and takes the ones that are crammed in Katniss's pocket. Madge smoothes them out before holding them up in front of her face, so she can use her hands to sign freely while she speaks.

Her mouth opens just slightly, and the way it stays formed in the same circular 'o' has me believing no words are slipping from her lips.

A couple students glance up curiously as Katniss struggles to continue, but once she locks eyes with me and raises her hands, the words seem to flow out.

Before I know it, she's sitting down beside me, throwing the cue cards into her folder with relief.

"_Good job."_

"_Mediocre at best."_

* * *

"_You can mark acting off your possible job careers," _I tease her as we're making our way from the lunch room later on that day. Finnick had made the mistake of asking how things went with the demo, which spurred on an entire conversation of Katniss doubting herself.

"_And stand-up comedy."_

She nudges my shoulder playfully as we turn into the Chemistry room.

"_Believe me, I had no plans of continuing down that path."_

"_Well, you looked fine from my point of view and I knew how nervous you were. So maybe others didn't even notice."_

"_You didn't hear my squeaking five-year-old voice and obnoxious clearings of my throat," _she reminds me, falling down into the seat beside mine. _"Really, it was horrendous."_

"_Well, it's over now."_

"_Thank god." _

At the beginning of class, Katniss informs me that Mr. Flickerman has announced today is a lab day. She shoots me a sympathetic pout as I sulk into my chair a little, the students around me excited to begin.

I'm not particularly fond of lab days, because it's much simpler to copy notes from the chalkboard than it is to attempt labs.

Katniss gathers our supplies; the goggles, flasks and tubes while I collect our papers and start writing out our hypothesis.

Katniss pulls on the paper slightly, making a dark line protrude off the line and I stick my tongue out at her.

"_Starting without me?" _

I nod.

"_Whatever. I got the stuff."_ she signed before copying the words I write down onto her own paper and pushing the goggles over to my side of the table.

I slip them on over my face and have to snicker at how loose they are. If I bend my head too far, they'd slide clear off my face. Katniss has the same issue and continually has to push hers up onto her face better.

"_Piece of shit goggles," _she signed. _"How old do you think these are?"_

"_1980s for sure."_

Katniss has a habit of talking at the same time she signs. I have no idea if she's actually _talking _or if her lips are just moving along with her hands, but it's funny to watch and makes me smile.

She picked up on it while she was learning, and when I asked why she spoke so much while signing she said it helped her to remember the hand gestures that went along with the words. It just kind of stuck.

Others look at us like it's odd, but I don't mind it at all. It's almost like we're having an _actual_ conversation with one another. Except as usual, it's me who can't respond properly.

There's just a few words I've picked up on from her speak/signing, and although I wouldn't have any way of knowing how to begin pronouncing them, I recognize them as she lips them.

One is _Katniss._

Another _Peeta._

Before her, not many people _spoke_ my name. It looked funny on her lips.

"_I think you're right," _Katniss nods before turning her attention to the front where Mr. Flickerman is giving out instructions to the class. I strum my fingers across the black table top and wait for him to finish and Katniss to fill me in.

When the class disperses in different directions, Katniss turns to me and mentions that shortly Mr. Flickerman will be around to dump a green, red and blue liquid into three tubes perched in front of us. I tap the glass with my fingernail and she points to the red one.

"_That's the base. We put that in the beaker first and then begin boiling it." _

I nod and dump the red liquid into the larger glass tube and Katniss turns the heat from zero to one. While we wait for the chemical to begin reacting to the heat, Katniss keeps busy by writing in the answers we already know.

I notice Mr. Flickerman hold up the green test tube and wave it around in the air for all to see. His lips are moving fastly and he even snaps his fingers at one student to ensure he has their attention.

I turn to Katniss, who is still busy writing and tap her shoulder gently, holding the green in front of her. She glances up from her paper and nods at the test tube.

I tap her again, waiting for a direct answer as to what to do with it, but she only nods her head more vigorously, waving me off from her. I roll my eyes and turn back to the large beaker full of red liquid that's just begun to bubble.

Slowly, I tip the green contents into the red and watch as the liquids begin fusing together to create a brownish substance.

The liquid begins rising rapidly, and for a short moment I'm fascinated before it begins bubbling over, splattering over my hands and face - some even landing in my eyes where the goggles failed to cover.

I jolt back from the table, making the matters worse by trying to rub the chemical away from my face as it begins burning on my skin. I'm sure I cry out, but with no way of hearing, or seeing it's as if I've fallen into a frightening new world.

And I don't know how to make it stop.

* * *

"_Are you going to mope for the rest of your life?" _Katniss asks, lying on her stomach across the bottom of my mattress, her legs dangling over the end.

I sit on the opposite end of her against the headboard and my legs bend up into my body after she trails her finger over the bottom of my foot, tickling it.

"_So what if I do?"_

She rolls her eyes, lifting her body up and scooting closer to me.

"_Your eyes are red," _she notes, rubbing her thumb across the puffy skin under the socket.

"_I spilled chemicals in them."_

"_Look on the bright side, at least you didn't go blind," _Katniss reasons, flashing me a toothy smile. I feel the bed pulsing slightly with the effort it takes for her to control her rounds of giggles.

"_You're so annoying," _I sign as she continues on.

"_Because, that would have been it for our friendship, Peeta. I'm serious. Sign language is one thing, but if you think I'd learn Braille for you too-" _

"_-Shut up," _I say, but even I can't help but crack a smile. Katniss has always been good at turning a bad or awkward situation into something tolerable..._funny_ even.

Her smile falters slightly and she turns down to mess with her braid for a long minute, almost solemnly. I tap the top of her head and she glances up at me with distant eyes and mouth turned down into a frown.

"_Are you okay_?"

She shakes her head twice before I notice her chest rise and fall dramatically with a breath.

"_I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention Peeta. It's my fault that happened anyway." _

My mind flashes back to the chemistry lab room, right after the substance bubbled and fizzed, landing on my hands and splattering over my cheeks and eyes.

The darkness was a frightening thing, since I rely on my eyes so heavily, being transported to that dark silent world was a memory I hope to never relive in the future.

I felt hands on me - all over -and had a strong urge to force them away, but it was Katniss who gave two reassuring squeezes to my arm and helped guide me safely to the sink, where my head was pushed down and water flooded forth to clean my eyes and burning hands.

Afterward, I was sent directly to the nurse's office, who after examination sent me home for the rest of the day. Dad was pretty worried when he found out what happened, and sent me up here to rest like I was sick or something, and told me not to worry about going into the bakery this afternoon - the one thing I look forward to after a long and stressful day.

But my eyes do still sting slightly and my hands tingle upon contact to anything, so I wasn't entirely opposed to taking a day off.

Katniss came over right from school to see how I was doing, and we've been sitting here basically unchanging for the past two hours.

"_Knock it off, it wasn't your fault. Just an accident." _

Her hand that caresses under my eye moves further down my cheek, rubbing my reddened skin there before she sits up straighter and flashing me our _I love you _sign.

I motion the same sign back to her and she lifts the edges of her lips into a crooked smile.

"_I'll be on my game from now on, promise." _

"_You better. Or else, what are you good for?" _I tease and she rests her head on my chest in a way that has my heart racing.

I wrap an arm limply around her and breathe out evenly. We stay in this position for a long time, so long that the light shining from the window fades completely into dusk.

I'm sure Katniss has fallen asleep; her movements so still that it startles me when she sits up, even though the movement is slow and fluid.

"_It won't happen again."_

It's been so long since we've spoken I almost ask what she's talking about, but the way her gray eyes look glossy and distant has me frowning and reaching for her hand with a nod.

"_It's ok, Katniss. Really."_

"_I know. I'm just saying, it won't."_

"_I believe you."_

"_Okay."_

* * *

**Things I forgot to mention in Chapter One: **This story will swap POV from Peeta to Katniss from time to time. Typically I don't like doing this, but as the story progresses you'll see how it's really needed. The first change doesn't occur until Ch.4, which will be from Katniss's POV. Just a heads up!

Also, just a quick side note about sign language: when signing, you don't actually sign the persons name over and over each time you address them, because the only way to do this would be by spelling their name out letter by letter (which as you can only imagine would become VERY annoying). So instead, they give each other nicknames based on distinguishable characteristics that person has (eye color, hobbies, etc). You'll learn Katniss/Peeta's names for each other down the road :)

I really can't believe the sweet response this story has received so far. Thank you to everyone who took the time to write a review, I loved hearing from you. Another big thanks to anyone who added me to their favorites or alerts. Look for more next week!

If you have tumblr and would like to follow me, feel free! Details on my profile! _(For anyone who has questions about the next Eggshells update, please visit my tumblr page!)_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins.**

Another big thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help on this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Three: In Which the End is Near **

* * *

_February 2002 _

They think I don't see it, but I do.

I see the smirks and giggles and whispers other kids give us as we walk down the hallway trailing behind our teacher. I see the way they point and make funny faces.

They don't do that to other classes that walk down the halls. I've seen them wave to other kids, or smile...

But not point and laugh.

"_Am I different?" _I ask one of the teachers that afternoon in class, after these thoughts have been on my mind all morning. She looks at me, unsure of how to go about answering before questioning: _"What do you mean?"_

"_I know I can't hear," _I say. _"And I know you can."_

She nods.

"_But is that all?"_

She bites her lip, lowering herself down into the small chairs and scooting in closer to me before continuing on, hesitantly.

"_Why are you asking these questions, Peeta?"_

I tell her about the kids who point and laugh, about how we always seem to attract attention wherever we go. I also mention how there are only six of us in here with three teachers, but twice - maybe _three times that - _in other classes, with only one.

"_You're very observant."_

"_But am I_ different?"

She fights to find words to reply when her head suddenly whips in the direction of the door as a kid pokes their head inside and sticks their tongue out, calling out something that makes everyone's mouths fall open and one of our teachers run after him.

Sometimes, I'm glad I only see and not hear.

* * *

_November 2012 _

I find my thoughts drifting to the "little classroom" while walking the hallways of school the day preceding the Chemistry accident. I watch as people point and stare, even whispering to their friends in my clear view and can't help but be reminded of the same feelings of _weirdness_ I felt so long ago in grade school.

I stick out like a sore thumb without even trying, and there is nothing I can do about it.

What makes it worse, is my suspicions are confirmed from Katniss who now acts as my "ears."

"_News spread quick about the Chem mishap."_

"_Oh, great."_

"_Don't worry too much about it, by this afternoon something new will have happened and it'll be over," _Katniss promises on our way to Chemistry.

Today is a notes day, which has me breathing a sigh of relief. The only downside to note taking is there's no excuse for Katniss and I to talk, or for her to even "translate" anything to me.

There are times I think it'd be simpler to get away with whispering than it is signing.

About half the chalkboard is covered with extensive formulas and hypotheses when Mr. Flickerman stops writing mid-sentence and walks over to the telephone, saying something to the class before picking it up.

I swirl my pencil in the corner of the paper, turning the swirly into a snail before drawing a sun just above it. I erase it a second later and draw a rain cloud instead, since snails don't particularly like the sun.

I feel a nudge on my shoulder and when I look up, all eyes are on me. This is the second time in two days that I've felt completely out of place in Chemistry and feel my cheeks reddening with the unwanted attention.

"_What?" _I ask Katniss self consciously, covering the snail drawing with my palm.

"_The phone call was for you. They want you in Principal Snow's office."_

"_Can you come?" _I wonder, face draining of color, unsure of why I'd be needed in there. I'm not sure I even know where it's located. Katniss turns to Mr. Flickerman, to ask I think but he shakes his head no and she shrugs.

I swallow, gathering my books together before slinging my bag over my shoulder and heading down the middle of the classroom and out the door.

I'm not kidding when I say I have no clue where Mr. Snow's office is in the school. Basically I've mastered where I need to get for each of my classes and the parking lot. Otherwise, it's just a confusing building that only a hand full of people can help me navigate.

In middle school, I was actually dragged to the principal's office for getting lost in the halls. I took some sort of wrong turn and apparently an aid was calling my name throughout the hall for over a minute. When she caught up to me, she grabbed hold of my arm and started talking angrily in my face. I tried explaining to her, I had no way of understanding her but she dragged me to the office for getting "smart."

The look on her face as the principal explained I was _actually _deaf was totally worth it.

I walk to the front of the building where the attendance office is and find the long glass window that shines into Mr. Snow's office. I knock on the clear door once, my throat tightening as he turns in his seat and summons me forward with a curling finger.

Beside him sits Mrs. Trinket, the school's only counselor, and next to her Ms. Coin, who I haven't seen since last year. She waves politely to me and I try pushing forth a smile her way as well.

"_I'm here to interpret things for you, Peeta," _she explains. _"Why don't you take a seat?"_

I do as I'm told, cautiously eyeing the three adults who shift awkwardly in their seats before me.

"_What's going on? Am I in trouble?" _I wonder and immediately Ms. Coin shakes her head furiously, relieving some of the tension I feel in my muscles.

"_Mr. Snow just needs to talk to you about the mishap in science yesterday."_

My cheeks grow hot on my face and I find myself staring intently at my pants below me, shifting awkwardly in my seat. It's the one subject I've been trying to avoid. But of course, I knew eventually we'd be talking about it; I just didn't know the principal would be involved. I figured it'd be more of a "Mr. Flickerman, Katniss and I" type deal.

"_Oh," _I finally acknowledge the subject dejectedly. _"What do you want to know?"_

I watch Ms. Coin turn to Principal Snow, her lips moving quickly. She doesn't look much different from back in elementary school when she used to follow me to every single one of my classes. She still wears the bright red lipstick and purple eye shadow and her hair is still cut short and close to her face.

Her wrinkles are slightly more pronounced and I think she might have lost a little weight since I last saw her, but otherwise she stays unchanging.

"_What exactly happened, Peeta? You were obviously confused as to what the experiment entailed. Did your partner give you wrong instructions?"_

I shake my head immediately, but stumble for the right words to describe the situation. Mr. Snow sits further back in his chair, one hand running curiously through his white beard and an eyebrow arched.

Mrs. Trinket purses her lips, tapping her pen against them questioningly, and Ms. Coin simply waits, not fidgeting, not breaking eye contact as I begin.

"_No, not really," _my hands begin moving, and her lips follow right along. _"I guess it was a simple case of miscommunication. I thought we were supposed to dump the green into the chemical, when really we were being told not to until the blue was placed in."_

"_Why didn't your partner stop you?" _

"_She was busy writing our papers. It's not her fault at all, I should have waited."_

"_She should be more careful," _Ms. Coin reprimands, her eyes boring into my own. _"This accident was not your fault."_

"_But it wasn't hers either."_

Mr. Snow's lips move and the two ladies beside him laugh, although their faces look uncomfortable.

"_He says that's why they're called accidents."_

I don't even smile. I can't. It feels like my heart is exploding inside my chest, it's beating so rapidly, and my stress level is so high I'm shaky.

"_Are you alright? You're not hurt are you? Nausea? Headaches? Notice anything odd this morning?"_

"_No."_

"_Well, good, that's what we like to hear,"_ They all seem to breathe easier with the knowledge I seem to have no lasting damage.

"_Although we can't change the past to make it as though it never happened, we can do our upmost to increase the unlikely-hood of it happening again."_

I'm silent as Mr. Snow slides a thin pamphlet across his desk in front of me. It's glossy and is artificially made to appear more brightly colored as a young child skips down an extremely green meadow.

"_What's this?"_

"_We want to propose the opportunity to partake in a very special privilege, Peeta," _she explains, her smile too wide and grand for me to trust as I reluctantly paw through the pamphlet.

I curl over the edge of the cover and find a long list of alternative learning classes offered at a school in Capitol, one town over from Panem. _Hearing Impaired _is listed right below _Visually Impaired _and _Mentally Handicapped._

I turn back up to the three people sitting before me, all their eyes trained on me and place the information card down on his desk once more, my eyebrows knit in confusion.

"_It's a school for retarded people."_

Ms. Coin's voice grows bright red, her head shaking furiously. _"No! No! Just...handicapped. People who have some sort of learning disability."_

"_I learn just fine."_

"_Peeta, you're twisting our words," _Ms. Coin signs flatly, no longer worried about offending me. _"No one ever said you have an issue learning, and that's not what this school is. It's just an alternative school. A place where you'll be given more attention."_

More attention. Learning disability.

The more I think about the school the more it reminds me of the "little classroom" back in elementary school and how I fought so hard to get out of that place because of the things it made me feel.

I can feel myself on the verge of a freak out, or at least a panic attack and force myself to take a few deep and clear breaths, my hands clutching either side of the chair beside me.

_I refuse to go back to the small classroom._

"_I'm not going," _I sign, gritting my teeth.

"_We called to talk with your father today, Peeta. To let him know what's going on before we called you down. We're all in agreement it's a good idea for you to try this out. At least for a little while. I think you'll see notable changes very quickly."_

I'm at a loss for words at the mention of Dad already okaying this action without me. We always talk about things before decisions are made. Especially ones as big as these.

"_My dad wants me to go?"_

Ms. Coin nods, _"He was worried at first, but with a brief chat and an email with all the school's information, he agreed it might be good to try out. He told us he'd talk to you more about it tonight when you get home."_

And by tomorrow, the decision that I will _not_ be going will be made.

"_Is this all because of the chemical spill?" _I question desperately, my head spinning with the way things had moved in our short meeting. My phone has buzzed six times against my leg in my pocket.

"_Because if it is, I promise it won't happen again." _Just like Katniss promised last night.

By this time, Mrs. Trinket's head rests in her hands tiredly and Ms. Coin stiffens before relaxing, taking a big breath of air in. Mr. Snow sits unchanging, running his fingers through the mess of white hairs on his chin and watching me intently.

I look at him as I sign next.

"_I promise."_

His mouth opens, and a moment later words begin pouring forth. Ms. Coin waits until he finishes to raise her hands, as if unsure if what he's said is something she wants to repeat.

"_What?" _

"_Peeta...you're a liability to the school. If word gets out about this little chemical spill, we'll have a lawsuit on our hands."_

"_My father won't sue."_

"_We're not worried about your father, Peeta. Word gets around, it already has and we need to squash the fire before it grows out of control." _

My face is stone cold at her words and even her face - usually busy with emotion - is expressionless.

"_Another student is not fit to be taking care of you, Peeta. This is for your own safety too, you know."_

I fold my arms over my chest, a clear indicator I'm finished with the conversation and a long moment later, I'm excused. I rise slowly, pulling my bag over my back in one solid movement before turning to face them one last time.

"_Do _I _get a say in the matter?"_

Ms. Coin studies my face for a long time and slowly shakes her head _no._

* * *

I check the multitude of messages I received during the session in Snow's office on my way to Art class, which I'm nearly twenty minutes late for.

There are six messages total: three from Katniss, one from Finnick and two from Dad.

Katniss's basically all say the same thing: wondering if I'm still talking with Mr. Snow, if everything is all right and so on. I'm not exactly sure how to go about telling her what happened in the meeting in person, let alone through text message, so I send her a short and unsatisfying:

_Finished, heading to art. I'm fine._

She'll see right through it, but we'll have hours alone together this afternoon in the bakery to talk more about it.

The one from Finnick is asking if I left early. He's in my art class - not by choice, but more because he assumed it'd be an easy A.

Finnick can hardly draw a straight line.

I don't bother responding to him, he'll see I haven't left when I walk in in less than five minutes.

I don't open the ones from Dad, in fear of lashing out on him in my uncontrolled anger for the situation. I've just begun calming down and trying to focus on something -_ anything _- other than the threat of another school looming over my head.

Dad never texts me during school hours. I _know_ this is in regards to the school meeting.

As predicted, the moment I step through the doors to the art room, Finnick's ears turn up with a smile at my arrival, his eyebrows knitting in confusion just seconds later. I hand the late pass to the instructor and move to my stool beside him in the corner.

_Feel guilty for playing hooky? _he texts me, turning back to his painting of...I _think_ an ocean. He scrapes the brush across the bottom of the page in uneven, thick strokes, resembling the way a five year old might with their first paint kit.

I actually cringe.

_I was busy. _I respond lamely, but if I haven't even told Katniss what's going on, I'm sure as hell not going to discuss this with Finnick. Plus, my thoughts are so jumbled and confused and nothing is set in stone.

I'd like to know what's definitely going on before I begin blabbing around to people about it.

_Too busy for art? Had to have been a girl. _

I roll my eyes, but can't help but return his goofy smile.

_No. Nothing really. Just taking care of something. _It's not a lie.

He stops texting me after that and goes back to his picture of what's shaping up to be a decent looking beach. At least I can tell what it's supposed to be.

Our assignments for these particular paintings are landscapes. I chose a picture of a high mountain, laced with beautiful leaves changing in the fall, all different shades of orange, yellow and red. At the bottom of the mountain is a meadowy opening, with a small pond and birds flying in the distance.

I'm only about a quarter of the way finished, the peaks of the mountains just needing a few more realistic touches before moving onto the clearing in the main bottom part of the photo.

Katniss loves my drawings. She's always trying to get me to do one or another, but usually they just end up being sketches of her; smiling in different ways, frowning, laughing, sleeping. It sounds creepy, and probably to other people is, but to her...to us, it's normal.

And she keeps all my stalker drawings.

I draw her other things too. Like bunnies sniffing around the garden Prim planted in her backyard and an old couple feeding the birds at a park. I like the face she makes when she sees something of mine because no matter how many things she's seen, when it's something new her eyes always grow wide.

Her lips will part just slightly and her finger tips always trail over the main lines before she turns to me with a careful grin, raising her hand into an _I love you _sign.

I tell her about the fall mountain drawing on our walk out to the car that afternoon when school ends. Prim trails behind us, her fingers tucked into her coat pockets and shoulders hunched to cover her exposed neck as a blistering wind rips by.

The gray clouds that have yet to disappear haven't been snow clouds as I first suspected a few days ago. Instead, on our drive home they open up into rain clouds, practically pouring down as Prim races from the car to the house.

I pull out of Katniss's drive and am momentarily distracted by the look of intent studying Katniss gives me. I switch the gears into drive and raise an eyebrow at her, not really expecting an answer. She shrugs, looking out the window.

Our car trips are usually pretty boring, having no way of communicating really, but Katniss turns up my radio and I can feel the music vibrating in a scattered rhythm against my steering wheel.

To onlookers, we probably look like a pair of defiant, silly teenagers, blaring our music obnoxiously and speeding down the slick streets. It's funny how dangerous it can be to judge a situation you know nothing about.

How mere assumptions can be so completely wrong.

When we arrive at the bakery, Katniss and I slip out wordlessly, rushing to get into the warmth of the bakery doors. Dad is in there, on the phone with a customer. His smile falters just slightly when his eyes meet my own and moments later the phone falls from his ear, back on the hook.

He waves in our direction, forcing a plastered smile to his features and chatting lightly with Katniss. I push past him, into the back room to clock in and throw an apron on over my long sleeved shirt.

I grab one for Katniss too and toss it to her as I walk back out and around, catching her off guard and snickering to myself when it lands on the ground. She rolls her eyes before picking it up and tying it around her middle.

"_Peeta?" _Dad says, his eyes distant.

I wait without a word.

"_I'll see you when you get home?"_

I nod once and he says goodbye to Katniss before stepping out into the rain.

"_What was that about?" _Katniss questioned once Dad was in his car, driving down the road.

"_Nothing." _

For a while, we don't talk. Katniss keeps busy answering the telephone and helping customers as they come in for fresh goods while I continue kneading and shaping the dough before throwing it into the ovens.

But around four, with just an hour and a half until closing, the bakery's crowd begins to dwindle until there is no one left inside except for Katniss and I.

I keep my head facing down toward the cookies I'm painting flowers on, but catch Katniss staring at me with that same look of confusion as I lift my head to set one aside for Prim. It has the flower she was named after painted with icing on it.

I offer Katniss what I hope is a bright smile, but the way she rolls her eyes has me thinking it's a failed attempt.

"_Ya know, when you say 'I'm fine' it almost always means you aren't," _Katniss accuses, picking up her phone and flashing me the text message I sent her earlier.

"_Care to fill me in?"_

"_I would if I knew myself," _I tell her dejectedly, before placing the freshly iced cookies on a tray and walking over to the display counter. Katniss doesn't follow me, but when I return she's standing in the same position, waiting for me to continue.

"_Mr. Snow is upset about what happened in Chemistry." _

Her face is careful, guarded as she listens to the words I say. I can see her teeth gritting inside her mouth, as if she's dying to say something, but she keeps silent.

"_He...He gave me this," _I say, pulling the pamphlet out from my pocket and placing it into her waiting palm. She looks it over with knitted eyebrows and I can practically see the heat rising underneath her skin.

"_What the hell is this?" _she asks, throwing the paper to the counter top in frustration. _"What did you say when he handed it to you?"_

"_I said I don't want to go."_

"_Good. That's ridiculous! What an asshole. One little mistake and you're outcast from the school-"_

"_Katniss," _I sign, cutting her off. _"I said I don't _want_ to go."_

"_Right," _she agrees, not quite understanding.

I breathe in and out deeply.

"_That doesn't mean shit."_

* * *

I promise Katniss I'll text her to let her know when a good time to come over is. First, I need to go home and talk with Dad. She offered to tag along if I needed her for back up, but I told her it was fine. Dad and I need to talk on our own.

When I pull into the driveway, both Bannock and Rye's cars are home, which normally I'd be pleased about, but it only makes the matter of talking with Dad harder.

Especially because Rye is nosy.

I open the door and the smell of dinner invades my nostrils. Bannock gives me a quick wave hello and asks if Katniss is coming over for dinner. I shake my head, telling them she'll be by later.

"_Where's Dad?"_

"_In the living room," _Rye replies, his cheeks still tinted red from the exertion of practice. Both Bannock and Rye haven't changed from their uncomfortable looking uniforms, which leads me to believe they haven't been home long.

"_He wanted us to tell you to go see him when you got home."_

I nod my head, making my path to the living room when Rye grabs my arm.

"_What'd you do now?" _he teases and I wave him off, only partly teasing.

Dad turns off the television when he sees me standing in the doorway. He motions for me to come in further, and I hesitate for a brief moment before advancing closer and finally sitting on the edge of the couch.

"_I know you're mad with me," _he begins, but I just shake my head.

"_Not mad. Confused."_

"_What's confusing you?" _

"_Why you would tell them it was okay without even speaking to me first. It's not okay Dad, it's..." _I trail off, not knowing exactly how to express my current feelings. I place my head in my hands and run my fingers through my messy hair.

Dad waits for me to look up at him before he continues.

"_I just thought it was the best decision to be made, Son. They told me all about the magnificent tools they use for teaching, and how it's much easier learning there with a hearing disability and-"_

"_I learn just fine! I've never failed a class, I've never been behind...I made one mistake. One!"_

"_And that one mistake scared me to death, Peeta!" _he counters back, stopping my hands in their tracks. Slowly, I let them drop to my lap.

"_Do you know how frightened I was when I received that call from the school? All of that could be avoided if you had the proper help."_

"_I don't need help."_

"_You do, Peeta. There is a lot you can do on your own, but like it or not you do need help. You get help from Katniss every day."_

Of course he's right, I rely on Katniss continually at school, but the reminder from someone else stings. I look up to Dad, ready to reply when I notice the tiredness that coats his face, laced with a mixture of stress and undeniable sadness.

"_I'm sorry," _he says. _"I just don't know what to do."_

The way his eyes trail off, unable to look at me as he finishes his sentence leaves a distinct feeling of guilt resting in the pit of my stomach, like I've just been hit. I swallow deeply, but don't raise my hands in reply. I'm not sure what to say.

"_Your mother would have known what to do, I just know it."_

"_...What do you think she would have done?" _I question after sorting through fifty or so other questions I almost ask.

More silence.

"_Every day, when I'm faced with a big decision I ask myself that same question. What would Aileen have done? Once I come up with what I think the answer might be, I always try to do it."_

"_You think she would have sent me to the other school?" _

"_I think she would have made you test it out," _he nods. _"If for no one else then for yourself. Peeta, you might get there and hate it...but you might get there and realize it's exactly what you've needed all these years to gain more independence."_

"_I already promised to be more careful next time," _I offer up in one final measly attempt.

"_Peeta, as long as the school thinks this is what's best for you I want you to try it. Those kind of accidents can't happen, the school could get into a lot of trouble and you know as well as I do the damage that could happen if they're sued."_

It's a known fact the small town of Panem isn't exactly the most well off. Most everyone is of the working middle class, a few who fall lower.

"_When do they want me to start?"_

Father's eyes glaze over with pain.

"_Tomorrow would be your last day, son."_

* * *

"_That's bullshit!" _Katniss exclaims, pacing around my room, unable to sit still. I watch as she walks in so many circles that she stumbles dizzily onto my bed, throwing her hands up before they fall limply beside her.

"_Your dad can't possibly believe they give two fucks about you, can he? They're trying to help themselves at your expense."_

As soon as Dad told me they want me to switch over as soon as possible I fled the bottom floor to my bedroom and text Katniss to come over. I haven't left since. Katniss demanded to know what happened, so reluctantly I filled her in, which led us to where we are know, sitting numbly next to one another on my bed.

"_He brought up my mom," _I say after a long minute of silence and Katniss sits up straight across from me.

"_What'd he say?"_

I try to answer, but only shake my head silently. Katniss crawls into my lap and wraps her arms around me, laying her head on top of my shoulder. My head falls into the crook of her neck and I breathe deeply to keep myself from falling apart.

I never met my mother. She died in childbirth. Who'd had known her pregnancy with twins would go flawlessly, but the one with her third and final child would turn disastrous?

Dad doesn't tell me much about what went on, in hopes of sparing me from any more feelings of guilt than I already have, but I do know that virtually everything that could've gone wrong did.

Mother was put on bed-rest early into the pregnancy and I was born several weeks too soon, which contributed to my lack of hearing ability now. Mother suffered severe blood clots while on bed-rest and fell into a seizure during the c-section.

That's all I know, and honestly all I _want_ to know.

"_She would have wanted it, Katniss," _I finally find the strength to sign to her, my hands shaking and her eyes soften.

"_Is it what _you_ want?"_

"_What?" _I ask, confused and her chest rises and falls dramatically.

"_I know this is harsh, but she's dead, Peeta. This is your life. Do you want to go?" _

"_No. I already told you no."_

"_Then I'll talk to Mr. Snow tomorrow."_

"_Katniss-"_

Her hand covers over my own and she shakes her head pointedly.

"_Don't worry. I'll take care of it."_

* * *

Happy Thanksgiving! I know I don't usually update until Sunday, but I thought I'd post an extra chapter this week for the Holidays. I hope everyone has a great turkey day!

Thanks again to anyone who took the time to review or add this story to their alerts/favorites. It really means a lot to me that everyone seems to be enjoying the story so far.

**Side note: **I've received a lot of questions about lip-reading, and why Peeta can't read lips. Not everyone with hearing loss can learn to read lips, especially those that are hearing impaired from birth. In this story, Peeta is one of those people.

Feel free to follow me over on tumblr! Details on my profile :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. **

A huge thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Four: In Which Changes Occur**

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_October 2004_

There's something strange about pulling up to the school in the dark. Maybe it's because I automatically associate school with daylight.

Tonight is parent/student/teacher night, where everyone's parents are invited to the school to see what we've all been working on these past couple weeks in school.

I can't wait to show Mom and Dad what I've done as a _third grader. _

"This way," I state, proudly flaunting the fact that I know _exactly _where my classroom is.

For the most part, it's been nice being in the third grade. Peeta Mellark and I are in the same class again this year, and although Mom thinks it was by luck, _Peeta and I _know they must have done it because we're such good friends.

It bothers some of the kids, what good of friends we are. Like Glimmer Hammelton, the girl who befriended me for about a day last year before deciding she'd rather be friends with Maysilee Donner and that I'm _weird._

Well I think _she's _weird.

This year they still turn their noses up to me, unless it's to ask why I spend my time with the _retarded boy._

"That's a mean word," I pointed out.

"Not if it's true," Maysilee sneered.

I kindly remind them the _retarded boy _did better on our last grammar test then both of them combined. The comment is completely worth the ten minutes spent in time out when Glimmer told teacher.

Later when Peeta asks me why I was put in time out, I leave out what sparked the argument and just tell him I called the girls dumb. He thought it was pretty funny.

I look for Peeta the second we walk past the threshold of the classroom and finally spot him standing off to the side of the room, with a man I think to be his Father.

"Mom, Dad, come meet Peeta!" I say, pulling on their sleeves eagerly. They hesitate for a moment but then slowly begin walking behind me. Peeta's face lights up when he sees me making my way over and we both grin up at our parents as they make small talk.

"All Peeta ever mentions is Katniss," Peeta's father smiles.

"All Katniss ever talks about is Peeta," Dad chuckles. "Better keep our eyes on these two."

"_Dad," _I say which only makes them all burst into laughter, staining my cheeks red.

_Be glad you're deaf. _I write down on the paper, scooting it over in his direction. He looks it over curiously, before a smirk creeps to his face.

_What? _I ask when he doesn't write.

_No one's ever said that before. _I watch him scribble on the paper. _It sounds funny._

_Sometimes hearing isn't all that great, you know. _Before Peeta, I never realized how much I could make someone smile with the words I choose to say. I like Peeta, and like when he smiles and if there's nothing he can do about not hearing but embrace it, why not make it seem as cool as possible?

_Where's your mom? _I ask him before returning the paper. _I want my mom to meet her so they can be friends like us. _

The smile on Peeta's face falters as he stares down at the paper below him for a long time. I glance up at our chatting parents and back at him, sensing something is wrong.

_I don't have a mom._

_How come?_

Peeta shrugs at the question. _She died._

_Oh. _I've never been good at handling situations like this one and feel my cheeks growing red on my face, suddenly unsure of what to say. He notices the way I awkwardly glance down at the paper and touches his hand to my own.

_It's okay. It was a long time ago._

_How long?_

_Almost eight years._

I look up at him with disbelief and he forces a lopsided smile to his lips.

_I'm sorry._

_It's okay. Long time ago, remember?_

_Why didn't you say anything before? _

He shrugs, looking down at the desk below him. I watch him for a long moment, trying to think of a funny joke or something witty to say and make it all better, but nothing comes to mind.

_You can share my Mom with me, if you want. I don't think she'll mind. And she doesn't have a son, so you know, there's no competition._

I watch the smile light up his face again as he reads over the note, turning up to me, eyes full of emotion.

_Thanks, Katniss._

* * *

_November 2012_

I find my mind drifting to the memory of the night I found out Peeta's mother was dead frequently through the night. It's early in the morning, so early the sun has not begun to rise yet and I've gotten maybe two or three hours of sleep.

My alarm will be going off in about an hour or so, but even if I tried to relax enough to take advantage of it, it wouldn't last. I'm too wound up, thinking about what I can say, how I can convince Snow Peeta and I work well enough together for him to allow Peeta to stay.

Hope is looking bleak. Especially now that Mr. Mellark has inadvertently guilted Peeta into doing this because his mom would want him to.

I look to Peeta, whose body is pressed up against mine. His hair tickles my arm as he moves slightly in his sleep, wrapping his arm around my middle unconsciously.

Thoughts of his mother turn my mind to when my own family suffered great tragedy, when my Dad died in a mining accident about three years ago. Peeta and I were thirteen, Prim only nine. Peeta was actually there when I found out. Of course he was.

He had no way of knowing _why_ I was crying as I broke down and sobbed in his arms for hours, but it didn't matter, he just held me and rubbed my back thoughtfully.

When I did manage to fill him in on what had happened, I watched his eyes turn watery as he tried fighting back the tears, attempting to appear strong for me.

"_You can share my dad," _he offered, rubbing my head. _"He doesn't have a daughter, so there's no competition."_

That was the one and only time I almost kissed Peeta.

My alarm sounds suddenly, and I jump to turn it off before remembering it won't wake Peeta. I turn to see if in my haste I've woken him, but he only tiredly turns over onto his other side. I climb out of his bed and pull the covers back up and around him before making my way out into the hallway of his home.

When I first started spending the night, I _always _left early in the morning, feeling awkward around Mr. Mellark and Peeta's older brothers. Now, as an "official" extension of the family, I know my way around it like the back of my hand.

I pull a towel out from the shelf they sit on in the hall closet and lock myself in the upstairs bathroom, knowing fully well that Bannock and Rye won't be awake or need to get in for another half an hour or so.

I turn the water on and while it's warming up, strip out of the night clothes Peeta always lets me borrow and unbraid my long hair. It's unnaturally wavy as I run my fingers through it before stretching with a yawn as the steam begins to rise around me.

I keep travel size shampoo and conditioner in the Mellark's bathroom along with a bar of soap. One morning, Rye accidentally used my soap instead of his own and was subject to merciless teasing by his two brothers.

And all right, might as well be honest and say I threw a couple jabs in there as well.

I don't take long in the shower and my skin pebbles as I turn the hot water off and the air cools around me. I throw the large towel around my arms and shiver for a long moment, wanting nothing more than to go jump back into bed.

It's only when I'm standing in the bathroom; naked and shivering that I realize I've left my clothes back in Peeta's room. I put his pajama's back on in the chance that Rye or Bannock might see me sprint down the hall before making my way back to his room.

_He's still asleep_, I think, because when I shut the door he doesn't stir. I grab my backpack and walk into Peeta's closet, shutting the door behind me before changing.

When I finish, it's past time for Peeta to still be sleeping.

Typically, I have to practically push Peeta off of the bed to get him to wake up, but this morning the second I land on the mattress, his head turns in my direction, all traces of sleep gone from his eyes.

He forces a slight smile to his lips and I run my fingers through his hair delicately for a long minute, silently promising him everything is going to be just fine.

"_Your hair smells good," _he says, then running his fingers through the loose pieces that tickle his face from my position above him.

"_You should get up, if we want to get to school early," _I finally sign over his face and he nods in agreement, rising with a low grunt he probably doesn't even realize he's made. I leave him be once he's on his feet, disappearing from the room to allow him to change in private.

Rye and Bannock are both down in the kitchen when I come down, re-braiding my hair now that it's dried a little. They spot me immediately, before saying hello, completely in unison.

"Ugh, you know that creeps me out," I cringe, grabbing one of the oranges I know will just sit on the counter top if I don't eat them. Mr. Mellark basically buys them for me. Peeta and Bannock have never acquired a taste for them, and Rye doesn't have a taste for anything healthy.

When I first started coming over to play with Peeta, Rye and Bannock's favorite game to play _with me_ was "guess who is who."

I _always _lost, not because I couldn't tell them apart, but because they were extremely talented liars and would fib as to who was who. Peeta was finally the one who told me they were fucking with me.

Now it's easy. Bannock is slightly taller than Rye and Rye has a small - but distinct - mole on his upper right cheek. To the untrained eye though, they're completely identical.

Peeta is distinctively a Mellark, but he doesn't look _exactly_ like his brothers. His hair is darker than both his older brothers and while they have green eyes, his are piercingly blue. He's the shortest of the three, but he's just as broad as them both.

"We know, that's why we do it," Rye snickers in response to their earlier hello. Bread pops from the toaster a few seconds later and he pulls a knife out to butter it.

"You know where the food is if you're hungry. You know an orange won't fill you up, right?"

"I'm not much of a breakfast person," my stomach is twisted in knots on this particular morning, but I'm not exactly sure how much Rye or Bannock know about their brother's situation, so I keep this particular detail to myself.

"It's the most important meal of the day, Everdeen!"

"Leave her alone," Bannock says, rolling his eyes at his brother. "Come on, we gotta get going."

I glance at the clock on the wall and see there's just about forty minutes until school starts.

Peeta appears from up the stairs a few minutes after his brothers leave and looks at me expectantly. His hair is neater than it was when I first woke him up and he slips a jacket over his long sleeved shirt before shoving his feet into sneakers.

"_Ready to go?"_

"_Yeah." _

We take my car to school today but swing back by my place to pick Prim up, who of course is running behind. I beep the horn impatiently at her and Peeta shoots me a look as he watches.

"_What? I'm in a hurry."_

"_Calm down," _he teases, trying not to smile. _"Your sister is going to chop your head off."_

He's probably right. She looks furious as she emerges from the house, slamming the door behind her and stomping her way to the car.

"_You're in trouble now," _Peeta says and I snort as she tumbles into the car with a huff.

"You didn't have to honk a hundred times," she grumbles, patting Peeta's shoulder in a hello. I don't even wait for her to buckle her seat before I speed down our dead street.

By the time we make it to the school, I think both Prim and Peeta are feeling a little carsick and are eager to get me out from behind the wheel. Prim waves goodbye to us - mostly Peeta - before stalking away in the opposite direction as us.

"You have lunch money?" I ask and she doesn't even turn around as she nods her head.

"_Katniss, we have all day to go and talk to Mr. Snow. There's no need to rush," _Peeta tells me as I practically pull him through the hallway. The look in his eyes shines intensely with worry.

I don't tell him I'm worried too.

"_I just want to get this over with is all," _I say to excuse my erratic behavior, _"Don't worry. It won't take long. I'll be in first period right on time."_

"_Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" _he asks once more as we approach Gale, Finnick and Johanna.

"_No, it's alright. You just stay with Gale and Finnick and we'll be right back," _I promise him and he nods, unsure of himself before waving in their direction.

"You ready?" Johanna asks, grabbing her book bag from the ground. I texted her late last night asking if she'd be up for accompanying me down to Snow's office; she's the exact mix of aggressiveness and persuasiveness I need to face him.

"Thanks again for coming with me," I say to her as we take the stairs quickly, making our way to the front of the building where his office is located.

"Of course," she snorts. "Snow's an asshole. Any excuse to rip him a new one. Plus, ya know, I love Peeta too."

"Right," I smile as we turn into the secretary's office before Snow's. The room is much quieter than the hallway and my ears ring at the sudden change.

"Can I help you?"

"I need to talk with Principal Snow," I demand at the front desk of his office. The woman who sits there looks up from her computer surprised and grabs hold of her chest like I've nearly given her a heart attack. I stand there, unmoving, waiting for a reply.

"He's busy right now."

"It's urgent," Johanna replies from behind me.

"He's getting ready to go into a meeting girls," she speaks with more venom in her tone. "I'm afraid you'll have to come back later. You need to make an appointment, not just _barge _in here," she says, pulling out a clipboard from under her desk and placing a pen on top.

The _request _sheet is completely bare. Johanna and I exchange looks between one another.

"Look, the issue I need to talk with him about is a little impor-"

"Katniss Everdeen. I've been expecting you," a voice sounds from the room off to the right before Snow emerges from it, arms folded in superiority.

"You have?" the woman sitting at the desk and I say at the same time, confused.

"Yes, you're Peter's friend and _"translator," _right?"

"Friend," I emphasize. It's only an added bonus I speak ASL. "And his name is _Peeta."_

"Of course," he sniffs. "Come on in, I see you brought a friend."

I turn to look to Johanna just in time to watch her cast a very smug smile in the secretary's direction. Bringing Johanna was definitely the right decision.

"Now, tell me why you've paraded into my office, demanding to talk with me. I assume this has to do with Peeta?"

"I want to know why he's being told he _must _change schools. Against his will."

"Let's not be dramatic now," Mr. Snow retorts, spinning a spoon around in his coffee. "No one is _forcing_ the boy to do anything. What we've done is merely suggest a path that will help Peeta to learn better and gain the attention he needs."

"How come no one has ever mentioned this school before?" Johanna wonders aloud. "Seems a little fishy it's only on the table after this week."

"We've been debating it for a while now, Ms. Mason, but the chemical spill was the deciding factor. This is for his own good, girls."

His condescending tone does nothing to calm my shot nerves and I can feel my leg unsettlingly nervously under me.

"We want nothing more than for him to be safe."

Every word he utters is bullshit.

I bite the inside of my cheek to keep myself from doing something that'll get us thrown out of here, because right now I'm playing by his rules, but if that's what it takes to change his mind, to convince him Peeta is fine here with me, then so be it.

"Katniss has always been around to help Peeta," Johanna points out in my silence. "He hasn't had an aide since I met him, and that was back in the sixth grade. Now, because of one mistake you're going to go insane?"

"Mr. Mellark won't sue, if that's what you're worried about," I state calmly and clearly. "He knows you could get into trouble, and he doesn't want to bring hardship on the school."

"What you girls are failing to understand is Peeta Mellark _is_ a hardship on this school," he states, his voice growing more and more frustrated. "If word was to get out about _chemicals _falling into a deaf boy's _eyes_ because of lack of attention, we would be ruined."

We're silent as he pauses to take a long sip of water.

"I'm sure you don't want Panem to be shown in a bad light, am I right Ms. Everdeen?"

I don't trust myself to speak, but I stare daggers into his eyes. He stares me down, unmoving. The bell rings throughout the office and he sits up straighter in his chair.

"You girls should be off to class, yes?"

We rise from the seats he's provided, panic and anger setting into my skin at the fact that we've gotten nowhere with him and I have only six or so hours to change his mind or else Peeta will be forced to change schools.

"Have a nice afternoon," he calls. "Don't think horribly of me. I'm just trying to protect all of you."

"Plus," he sniffs, his tone lighter. "Peeta deserves better schooling."

I feel an acute urge to vomit rising in my throat and my hand is shaking as it finds the doorknob, Johanna following right behind me.

"A _student _is not fit to teach, obviously."

"I'll be back," I promise.

* * *

"_It's alright Katniss, really," _Peeta tells me that afternoon in the bakery when I'm still unable to let the conversation with Snow go. When I walked into English that morning, I could barely even look at Peeta I was so disgusted.

He knew then it was basically over.

The snow finally started to fall earlier this afternoon, right after lunch and continues to sprinkle sporadically right outside the bakery window, where his eyes are trained. His confident words don't match the blatant fear that's weaved into his features and sadness in his iris's.

He's frightened... of course he is, being only hours away from being thrown to the wolves, in a completely new element, somewhere he's never been before. It stresses Peeta to be in a _hallway _he's never seen before, not to mention an entirely new school.

Principal Snow is only concerned with his reputation, not at all for Peeta's well being.

"_Easy for you to say it'll be all right," _I scoff, attempting humor. _"I'm the one who'll be a wreck." _

His mouth twists up at the side before he leans against the counter top.

"_It's only a few hours a day. We'll still see each other at night and at the bakery," _Peeta says, although I'm not sure if he's trying to convince himself or me.

"_It's not about that, Peeta," _I say, even though it partly is. _"It's the principle of the matter. You shouldn't have to go to an alternative school just because you can't hear. You're smarter than most the kids who _can_ hear."_

My words bring a blush to Peeta's cheeks.

"_Being deaf doesn't make you dumb, Peeta."_

"_I know that," _he states, dejectedly. _"I'm just used to it, I guess. People using the fact that I can't hear against me. Not you, but, you know. It happens."_

I can't argue with him. I know it happens, more than I think Peeta even realizes, but I've always tried my hardest to shield him from the ignorance of people who just don't understand.

Now, not only am I unable to get him out of possibly the worst predicament he's been in, but I'm the cause of it.

My mind continues to go back to that day in Chemistry. How many times in the last forty-eight hours have I wished I could go back in time and just fucking _pay attention_ when he shook the green tube in my face?

Images of the chemical exploding, and Peeta's chair scrapping against the tile floor in attempts to get away flash through my mind. The chaos that ensued directly after, Mr. Flickerman shouting to get him to the sink, Peeta's arms flailing...

He was yelling too, which I think surprised a lot of people who've never heard him make even a peep. His cries were soft, but filled with pain and I could only imagine the horror he was experiencing.

Peeta relies on his eyes for _everything. _

Without warning, I wrap my arms around Peeta's middle, burying my head into his chest. His arms encase me moments later, dancing his fingertips along my back soothingly. I imagine if Peeta could speak, he'd tell me everything is going to be all right during these moments we have.

I'm not sure how long we stand in each other's embrace up against the bakery counter top, but once I let go the entire windshield of my car outside is covered in snow, whereas before it was nearly bare.

"_How much longer until we close?" _Peeta asks, after tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear gently. I glance at the clock and sigh in frustration.

"_Another hour."_

His shoulders drop slightly before his lips turn up into a wicked smile.

"_Let's close early."_

My face matches his as I move to lock the door and he changes the sign from OPEN to CLOSE.

Occasionally, if business is slow or one of us is having a particularly rough day, we'll close the bakery early and make some kind of treat for ourselves. It's not often, because Mr. Mellark would be annoyed at us turning away customers for no good reason, but every now and then we get away with locking the doors up before five.

Peeta begins pulling all different kinds of ingredients out and places them all on the counter top before grabbing a bowl and handing it over to me.

I crack the eggs while he mixes in the flour and sugar. We mash in all the ingredients before stirring the mushy dough, finally adding in chocolate chips at the very end. Peeta reaches a finger into the dough and smears a small clump onto my nose.

My mouth opens widely and he lets out a small, breathily chuckle. I wipe the dough from my face and lick it off my finger before narrowing my eyes in his direction.

"_It's good."_

"_Well duh."_

I push him lightly, laughing when he feigns hurt before we turn our attention back to the dough. It drives Peeta insane how I don't roll my dough balls into perfect circles, but leave them more as clumps.

His are perfectly circular and the same perfect size. I roll my eyes at his OCD-looking tray as we both stick them in side by side in the large oven.

I watch as Peeta takes the oven mitt off his hand and tucks it into the pocket of his apron, rubbing his hands together to rid them of excess flour.

We use the time it takes for the cookies to bake to clean up and count the money in the drawer. Peeta cleans the counter tops while I sweep and we wordlessly decide we'll bring the cookies back to my house to have while we finish our homework.

Or, while _I_ finish mine. Peeta doesn't have any tonight, I suppose.

The thought has my stomach churning in knots and the small bit of food I consumed earlier pushing its way up into my throat.

Peeta has always been there. When everything else around me continued to change, he's been my consistency.

I don't like losing people.

He notices the way I've stopped sweeping in the center of the bakery and stomps his foot against the ground to gain my attention. My head snaps up in his direction and his eyebrows are turned down.

"_Are you all right?"_

The broom in my hands falls to the ground with a soft thud, and for the second time this afternoon, I find myself in his arms.

* * *

The sun has already begun fading by the time we're tucked away in my room, sprawled out on my large bed. The gray that overcasts the sky all day has turned into a royal blue as snow continues to fall.

I lazily attempt my math homework for the third time, growing distracted every few minutes while Peeta urges me to continue.

"_You're nearly finished," _he reminds me, sticking another cookie into his mouth. It's probably his forth or fifth and I fear between the sweet shock and his nerves he'll only end up puking them all back up.

I can't force myself to eat a second.

While I finish up the little bit of homework I have left, I put on music for Peeta and I to listen to.

Prim doesn't quite understand it, the times she walks in to find an earbud pressed to the side of Peeta's face. I've explained to her before how he can feel the vibrations, but in her mind it's just a tease; only being able to hear the soft buzzing and not the music that comes along with it.

But _that is _Peeta's music.

Sometimes when he likes a certain beat in particular, he'll ask me to write out the lyrics for him as well, which he usually ends up falling in love with. I only play songs I figure he'd like. We have very similar tastes.

I glance over at him as he bobs his head idly to the vibrations he picks up on. His eyes are glazed over and distant, staring off into nothingness before I wave my hand in front of him. He jumps out of his trance and shoots me a sheepish smile.

"_Aren't you finished yet?" _he asks, lying down beside me, looking up expectantly.

I push my binder off where it rests on my legs and onto the floor, along with my entire book bag and finally the plate of cookies. I adjust so that I'm lying down on my back beside Peeta and take his hand in my own, playing with the tips of his fingers.

He watches me curiously, but doesn't attempt to pull away or stop me. I continue to study his hands; the burn marks that scar them, the calluses on the tips of his middle and pointer finger, the soft veins that dance along underneath his knuckles.

He pulls the earbud from his lobe with his free hand and looks to me with nervousness on his lips, blinking a few times before finally signing, _"Sing to me?"_

* * *

_February 2008_

"_What are you doing?"_

I turn my attention to Peeta, who's sitting on the edge of my bed eyeing me curiously as I rush around my room, picking up clothing here and there. Mom isn't letting me go out until after it's spotless.

"_Cleaning?" _I question and he rolls his eyes, shaking his head.

"_No, I mean, with your lips. You're not talking, I know you aren't because your words are more elongated."_

Peeta can't read lips. He's become familiar with a couple words like each of our names, but for the most part when my lips move it's nonsense to him. However, he does know _how _my lips look as I talk, because I have a habit of talking out loud in time with my signing.

"_It's called singing," _I tell him, pulling my music player off my nightstand and jumping onto the bed beside him, pressing a bud past his ear.

"_Like music," _I say, watching his head nod along with the vibrations of the music coursing through him. He turns to watch me as he continues to listen to the vibrations.

"_Are you good?"_

My cheeks grow red as I pull the bud from his ear with a shrug, jumping up to pick up another ten or so of my shirts wordlessly. When I finish shoving them down into my overstuffed drawer, I notice Peeta's eyes still trained on me.

"_I'm not sure," _I answer honestly. _"You're my only audience."_

"_I wish I knew what your voice sounded like," _Peeta signs to me, his eyes distant and dreamy.

I glance at him with furrowed eyebrows, unsure of how to go about tackling the delicacy needed for this conversation that's appeared out of the blue.

"_It's not that special. You'd probably hate it if you could hear it."_

"_Doubt it," _Peeta replies grumpily, a look of distaste on his features. He's never liked it much when I talk negatively about myself. He downcasts his gaze, picking at something invisible that rests near his kneecap before sighing loudly.

The worst part about him getting into these moods is there is nothing for me to do about them. I can't tell him it's okay, because how the fuck would I know?

Instead, impulsively, I take his hand in my own and run my fingertips over the vein that dances along the inside of his wrist. Curiosity outweighs his pissy mood and he glances down questioningly in the direction of my busy hands.

When I find his pulse point, pumping quickly under his skin, I bring his wrist to meet my lips, pressing them firmly against his flesh. His eyes are wide, questioning - and do I detect slight amusement in there too? - it's hard to tell, and I'm sure my face is beet red with embarrassment.

But it's all I can think to do.

Gently, I begin humming a familiar lullaby my dad used to sing to me against his wrist and watch as he gasps gently beside me, his eyes growing impossibly wider.

"_Feel that?" _I stop humming to ask him and he nods vigorously.

"_It's my voice."_

The smile that spreads across his face is contagious.

"_It's beautiful."_

* * *

_November 2012_

Typically when Peeta asks me to sing for him, he's very _stressed. _It's become more of a calming thing between the two of us than something we do for fun or just because. So when I look down to meet his gaze and see his eyes watery and wide with innocence my heart actually clenches in my chest uncomfortably.

I take his hand back in my own and spread his fingers apart and together casually for a long moment before bringing his wrist to my lips. The hand that doesn't cradle his palm runs through his hair and I feel goosebumps rise on the back of his neck.

Gently, I begin to hum and watch as his head slowly falls onto my shoulder.

I "sing" for a long time. Long after Peeta's breathing has gone steady and his light snores appear.

I place his hand gently on my stomach and listen to his heavy breaths and gentle night sounds with fascination. My mind drifts back to Peeta's words from years ago, how he wished so badly to be able to hear my voice.

I'd never admit it to Peeta, because it'd only make him feel worse, but there were many times I wished I could hear his voice as well. Of course, I've heard his gut-wrenching laughter, dramatic sighs of annoyance and, like now, his snores at night.

But we both know it's different.

There have been multiple occasions I've imagined what his voice really sounds like. What my _name_ sounds like on his tongue. What he would say if he could speak freely...

These are trivial thoughts; ones that were long gone with the realization that wishing things doesn't make them come true.

Peeta shifts in his spot, his eyebrows knit together in his unconscious state and I adjust him into a comfier position, so he's lying down on the bed. As soon as his face hits the pillow his expression softens and he squishes his face further into it.

He's still wearing his jeans and shirt from school earlier, but I don't wake him up to change. If it's uncomfortable, he'll wake himself up in the middle of the night and take care of it. My fear is that if he wakes, he won't fall back asleep and at least one of us should be able to get some rest tonight.

I check my phone that rests on my nightstand beside me and see it's after eleven o'clock. I have one text message from Johanna flashing at me.

_So, it's over then?_

_Yes._

_He leaves fucking TOMORROW?_

_Yes._

_I'm sorry Kat. Is there anything I can do?_

I stare at the message for a long second before pressing the send button and turning off the lights, snuggling as close as possible into Peeta's warm body.

_No._

* * *

"_Have fun, brother. Play nice with the kids, share your snacks, all right?" _Rye teases, ruffling Peeta's hair as we stand by his car that morning.

Peeta and I woke up several times during the night. First Peeta, who woke confused not an hour after I had turned the lights off. He thought I was asleep and slipped from the bed to replace his jeans with sleep pants and I sunk my face into his chest when he climbed back in.

The next time was around three, when I had been tossing and turning for nearly an hour and noticed Peeta's eyes trained on me, the light from the moon catching his face at the right angle.

We've basically been awake since then.

Peeta rolls his eyes at his brother, snickering nearly inaudibly before he meets my gaze and his expression softens. Rye and Bannock move out of the way as I step closer to their brother and stand directly in front of him.

"_You have your directions, right? On how to get there?"_

He nods, his cheeks pink from the chilly winds ripping back and forth.

"_Okay, and someone will be waiting once you arrive?"_

"_Yes, mom."_

I frown and he pulls me into his arms tightly. I think, for just a moment, if I don't let go he can't leave. But then he's pulling away from my embrace and lowering himself into the car.

"_Just remember, it's only temporary. Johanna and I are going to go talk with Snow again today. We'll get this sorted out."_

He gives me a gentle but unsure smile and nods his head before shutting the door tightly.

"You'll be fine," Rye promises, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and shaking me gently.

"Maybe this is what you and Peeta need. You guys are with each other _all the fucking time. _A little separation will do you good."

"Rye, you're such an ass," Bannock scoffs, patting my head awkwardly. "Don't worry. Today will pass with a blink."

"Yeah," I speak, unconvinced as I watch Peeta back down the driveway.

He waves to us all, and in unison the three of us wave back. Then, his eyes lock into mine and he raises his hand, lowering his middle and ring finger into our _I love you _sign.

My voice catches in my throat as I shakily copy his movements.

_I love you, too._

* * *

Thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a review or added me to their favorites/alerts. Hope you liked Katniss's POV.

Friendly reminder if you have a question, please make sure to give me a way to contact you with an answer. :) This is probably the last thing I will address publicly:

I realize that ASL grammar is not the same as grammar we use while talking. (Ex: We say "I washed my car last week" whereas in ASL it would actually translate to: "My car, I wash week past." However, this doesn't translate well into writing, so I opted to write it out how everyone reads and how it would be talked. In my mind, Peeta is not confused when he's signing, so I didn't want the readers to be confused either. Hope this helps explain.

Follow me on tumblr if you'd like! Details on my profile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

A huge thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Five: In Which Friends Are Made**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_March 2009_

"_I'm changing schools."_

"_Don't be dramatic," _I sign as we slump against the wall outside the cafeteria. Usually we sit with Johanna and Madge but Katniss refuses to go inside, or even let me go inside to get her a lunch right now.

We throw our book bags into a pile off to the side of me and I watch as she curls her legs into her chest, resting her chin against her small kneecaps and breathes heavily. Her cheeks are stained tomato red and her eyes swell with wetness she blinks away rapidly. She runs her wrist under her nose roughly before leaning her head back against the wall.

"_What happened?" _I finally ask, poking her forearm.

"_I don't want to talk about it."_

"_All right," _I agree, and match her body language, my head resting back against the wall like her own.

I strum my fingers against my thigh as silence over takes us. Katniss shifts in her spot a couple of times and look anywhere but at her, in case she feels like crying but won't because I'm around.

Katniss is a strong girl and doesn't get upset easily. In fact in our five years of being friends, I've only ever seen her get angry or sad a handful of times.

"_I can't help it you know. It's not like I asked to look like a boy."_

My eyebrows furrow at her sudden outburst and I watch her chest rise and fall, running her hands over her face a few times before blowing air over her cheeks.

"_Maysilee and Glimmer."_

Enough said.

"_They said you look like a _boy?_" _I question her, anger already swelling up in my body. My hands clench into fists shortly after the words have escaped them. They seem to have a thing for picking on Katniss and have since we were young. I'm not positive the reasoning behind it, but I'm sure her investing all her time with me doesn't exactly help matters either.

"_It's stupid. I'm overreacting."_

"_Just tell me."_

She's silent for a long moment, but I can see the rage welling up in her form as she twitches from side to side before exclaiming; _"I don't have boobs!" _

With that being the furthest thing I expected to hear, my eyes grow wide before they slowly trail down to her chest. Her hand smacks my arm roughly and immediately I look back up at her face, my own cheeks matching the redness on hers.

"_Don't _look!_"_

"_Sorry..." _I say, running a hand nervously through my hair. _"Why...What do you mean?"_

"_I mean I'm as flat a boy," _she says, _"And as Maysilee so kindly pointed out; I'm not even a _cute_ boy." _

"_I think you'd be a cute boy."_

"_You don't count. You have to say that." _

Both our lips lift up into small smiles and I breathe a sigh of relief, hoping for a split second that she might laugh it off before her face darkens and she shoves it back into her legs. She refuses to look at me, but it doesn't stop her hands from signing sporadically.

I reach into my book bag as she signs and pull out my sketch pad and a pencil. She's not looking, but I still nod occasionally in case she peeks from between the pieces of her hair that have fallen like a drape to cover her face from me.

She tells me how it all started in gym class, after they were getting changed back into their school clothes in the locker room. Apparently Maysilee noticed Katniss only wears an undershirt, and called her a freak loudly, when Glimmer chimed in that maybe she's a boy.

"_They told me the boys' locker room was on the other side of the gym..."_

Katniss continues to list every single thing that's wrong with her: her skin isn't smooth, she's clad with bumps and bruises, she has no chest, she's too thin...

I can't help but think she doesn't see herself properly. The only word I can think to describe her with is _beautiful. _

"_Everyone was talking about how funny it was in the hallway-"_

I tap her shoulder and hesitantly she glances up at me with red-rimmed eyes. She eyes my lap curiously, where the notebook sits and then my eyes. I drop the piece of paper on top of her legs and watch as her face slowly brightens.

"_Peeta... this is... is this me?"_

Carefully, she traces her fingers over the lines of her face, the hair that sweeps over the side of her forehead, the small swell of her chest and down her body to her toes.

I nod, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the drawing.

"_It's supposed to be."_

"_This is what you think I look like?" _she questions, a look of amazement on her features.

"_Well I certainly don't think you look like a boy."_

A slight blush creeps to her cheeks as a timid smile rises on her lips.

"_And for the record, I think you're a very pretty girl."_

* * *

_November 2012_

The hallways smell different here.

This is the first thing I notice as I walk through the main doors into the significantly smaller school. It reminds me more of an office building than school from the outside, with just one sign that stands off on the side of the road to direct people.

I tuck the direction sheet Katniss made for me into my jean pocket and grip the sides of my book bag tightly, nervousness and adrenaline running through my body.

Right to the side of the main doors is a small office, and since I have no idea where anything is I decide to go inside and see if possibly anyone knows how to help me.

There's a light gust of air as I enter and the woman sitting behind the large desk glances up from her computer with a friendly smile. I wave, unsure if I should just start signing and wait for her to stop me, or how I'm supposed to go about this.

Her lips move in time with her hands; _"Can I help you?" _and I'm taken back that she can speak sign, although I guess it should have been somewhat expected here.

"_I'm Peeta Mellark," _I say and she nods. _"I'm... new."_

"_Ms. Coin has been expecting you. Her office is straight back," _the woman turns in her seat to point to the office down at the very end of the hallway behind her. I could see from here her door sits propped open.

Ms. Coin travels to different schools different days of the week or during different parts of the day, but primarily she's needed here, which is why she has an office at this small school and not at Panem's high school.

I tap on the door gently to signal I've arrived and Ms. Coin glances up at me before motioning for me to make my way further inside.

"_Take a seat," _she's smiling too wide at me as I lower myself down in the chair, remembering at that exact moment I forgot to text Katniss and let her know I arrived alright. My mind drifts to what she's doing right now. She should be sitting in English.

I wonder if my desk is empty still, waiting for my return.

"_I am so excited for you Peeta," _Ms. Coin tells me before bending over to pull out a new manila folder and stuff a couple papers inside. _"Now, I know you're unsure of this whole situation right now, but just you wait. In a few weeks you'll see such a big difference and you'll wonder why it took so long to come here in the first place."_

No, in a few weeks I'll be gone.

"_This really will be such a great experience for you." _

When I continue to stare at her icily, she presses the folder closer to me before handing me a pen.

"_Just a few forms for you to look over, and then we can be on our way."_

I move slowly purposely, reading every single line of each paper (regarding safety measures, codes of conduct, etc) and some lines twice just to irritate Coin. She eyes me curiously from time to time, possibly wondering how I can _still_ be on the same page after ten or so minutes.

She knows I'm a quick reader.

The second the pen lifts from the last signature she's snatching the papers back from my reach and locking them away in some cabinet.

"_Alright, I'll show you to your classroom."_

We pass several hallways on our way to my classroom, all of which look eerily similar to the _little classroom _back in Panem, only these classes had about fifteen or so students inside with two teachers in each.

We continue twisting and turning down the short hallways, so much I'm completely lost and will need help navigating my way back to the main doors later on, until Ms. Coin stops in front of a large oak door and rasps her knuckles against it.

I send a quick message to Katniss letting her know I'm all right before the door swings open and a tall, broad man glances between the two of us before smiling warmly.

"_Peeta, this is Mr. Heavensbee," _she introduces before he extends a thick hand in my direction. He gives it a tight squeeze and a firm shake before opening up the room to me further.

I turn back to Ms. Coin who doesn't follow us into the room and begin to panic. Although she's not particularly my favorite person at the moment, she's the last shred of familiarity I have left.

She senses my worry and reaches for my outstretched hand, patting it tenderly.

"_Don't worry, I'll be back later on this afternoon to check and see how you're doing. It'll be fun."_

She doesn't give me time to respond before she disappears from the doorway and fades down the hall.

"_Peeta, I'm going to sit you right here," _Mr. Heavensbee signs to me, leading me to a table where two girls and a boy are working on some sort of worksheet.

"_Delly will make sure you feel right at home, she's quite the chatter box," _he winks, placing a hand on either side of my shoulder before I lower myself down into the seat, gaining the attention of all three students who sit around me.

The girl next to me with medium-length blonde curls and a broad smile flashes all of her bright white teeth and a pair of dimples that sit on her rounded cheeks.

"_Hello!" _she signs, dropping her pencil to the table. I watch as it bounces twice then stills beside her. _"I'm Delilah Cartwright, but everyone just calls me Delly."_

"_Peeta," _I say, accepting her extended hand with a soft shake. _"Nice to meet you, Delly."_

"_I'm Annie," _the girl directly across from me says, her smile more soft and reserved. She has deep red hair tucked back into a ponytail that fell down the side of her head and piercing green eyes.

"_That's Thresh," _Annie introduces to me, pointing in his direction before tapping him gently. He offers a quick wave but turns back to his paper after just moments.

"_He's shy."_

"_You said your name was Peeta?" _Delly asks, tapping her fingers against the tabletop to gain my attention. I nod and force a gentle smile her way, which makes hers widen.

"_It's so exciting getting someone new in class, and now we can be partners," _she continues to beam, taking me back a little.

I've never actually had a conversation with another deaf person, let alone three and suddenly I'm feeling _overwhelmed. _

Delly is not what I expected. I'm not sure how I expected other deaf people to act, but she's just so _outgoing. _Maybe it's different, always having gone to school with people she can communicate with without any types of barrier, but she's the exact opposite of how I feel.

"_If you want, that is," _she adds in my silence.

"_Oh, sure," _I respond automatically and she grins widely.

My phone buzzes in my pocket and I jump to answer it. I open up the message from Katniss and smile a little at her words.

_Took you long enough to text me. Try not to combust. See you later. _

_I'll try. See you later._

"_Mr. Popularity," _Delly signs, her lips opening a little like she might be laughing. I force a smile back at her and run my hand through my hair nervously, shoving my phone back into my pocket.

"_So, we don't switch classes then? We just learn everything in here?" _I question, unable to stop myself from comparing it to elementary school.

Delly nods like a bobble head, pointing to the black board up in the front of the room that has a schedule mapped out in the corner with times lined down the side and a subject next to each time.

"_It's easier this way. I mean can you imagine a school full of deaf and blind kids trying to find a different classroom every fifty minutes?"_

I actually find myself laughing at her joke, which pleases her a great deal. With my nerves calming slightly, realization that this isn't absolutely _horrible _I'm able to relax slightly, leaning back into my seat.

And I have to admit, even if it's just to myself, that it is nice being able to communicate freely with... well... _everyone._

They'll be nice friends to keep in touch with once I'm back at Panem.

"_So stranger, tell me about yourself," _Delly says, scooting closer to me just slightly, her eyes staring intently into my own. It's not an uncommon thing to make direct eye contact with one another while signing. I'm just not used to it with Katniss, who likes to multi-task.

"_What do you want to know?"_

"_You're from P-a-n-e-m, right?"_

I nod.

"_So, what took you so long to come around? It's only one town over and you've got to prefer this place over _that_ school."_

"_Well," _I begin, _"Actually, I liked it at Panem."_

My words take her back and she wrinkles her nose in disgust. _"Why?"_

"_For one, all my friends are there," _I begin, pulling out a pencil to get started on the worksheet Mr. Heavensbee placed in front of me nearly ten minutes ago.

"_Oh, so you weren't the only person who couldn't hear?" _

"_What? Oh, no I was. At least, in the high school. All my friends can hear."_

Her scrutiny has me shifting in my seat uncomfortably and she lifts her hands, a confused expression on her face before dropping them to think for a second.

"_Wasn't it odd?"_

"_No," _I shake my head, eyebrows furrowing. _"I mean, they didn't think so, so neither did I." _

"_Oh."_

"_Katniss especially, I mean we talk more than some people who can actually speak do-"_

"_Katniss?" _Delly asks, tilting her head to the side._ "Girlfriend?"_

"_No," _I shake my head. _"She's my best friend. Oh! You two will get along great. She's really nice, and probably better at signing than I am!"_

As my smile grows brighter with talk of Katniss, Delly's falters just slightly. She casts me an odd look - one with knitted eyebrows and what looks to be an attempted smile - before picking up her pencil and continuing to write on her paper for a long moment.

I turn to my own unfinished paper, confused at how the conversation seemed to have evaporated just as I was beginning to get comfortable. I'm only about three questions in when I feel a short tap on my shoulder and catch Delly looking back at me, her head propped against her one arm.

"_I'm glad you started coming here, Peeta."_

* * *

Delly and Annie walk with me out to the parking lot once school ends for the day. It's a small lot, filled with nine or ten buses for the students who can't drive and a spot for the students who can to park.

Delly and Annie carpool, switching drivers each day just like Katniss and I used to. I mention this as we make small talk outside of my car, but only Annie really smiles.

"_Can't wait to meet her," _she signs with enthusiasm, pulling her book bag up higher on her shoulder. Delly nods a moment later, her lips pressed up into a tight smile.

"_Me too."_

Both girls stand for another moment, before Delly finally waves and pulls on Annie's arm.

"_See you tomorrow Peeta!"_

"_Bye."_

* * *

Rye and Bannock are on bakery duty this afternoon, so instead of going straight past the street and down the road to the plaza of different shops, I turn directly onto Katniss's and pull into her driveway.

I didn't exactly tell her I'd be stopping by, but her car is here and if she's busy I can always just come by later tonight like usual. I bring in my book bag, in case we sit and do homework for a while and then I'm standing on her porch knocking obnoxiously until the door flies open and Katniss smirks in my direction.

"_You don't play fair," _she signs, opening the way for me to enter further.

"_Why not?"_

"_Because it's impossible for me to annoy you with my knocking on your door."_

I snicker.

"_I could just do this, I suppose," _she says and begins stomping with every step she takes. I watch her with amusement as she marches down the hall and back before finally meeting my gaze, her gray eyes boring into my own and smile faltering just slightly.

"_What?" _she asks self-consciously as I continue to stare at her.

"_Hi."_

"_Hi."_

I open my arms and she falls into them giving me a tight squeeze before leading me into the kitchen, which smells like she's been cooking.

"_Mom has to work late tonight," _she explains. _"So I'm in charge of feeding the brat."_

"_Who? Me? Aw, you shouldn't have."_

"_Yeah right," _she smirks, _"I mean Prim. No food for you."_

"_Bitch," _I tease.

"_Yup," _she signs, nodding her head and winking at me. _"How was school? Scale of one to ten how horrible was that place?"_

It actually wasn't horrible at all. Not ideal and I'd definitely rather be back at Panem with Katniss, but it far overreached expectations.

I'm sure this is exactly what Katniss _doesn't _want to hear however, so instead of telling her how _not_ bad today was, I shrug my shoulders indifferently and turn the conversation elsewhere.

"_I missed you."_

Her face softens, all the wrinkles that sit on the bridge of her nose from scrunching it disappear and her narrowed irises soften to large pools of gray.

"_We'll have you back soon," _she signs solemnly. _"Johanna and I went to talk with Snow again today, but he just won't budge."_

"_Of course not," _I frown.

"_Whatever. If he wants to play that game then let's fucking play," _she signs furiously, rolling her eyes. _"We're not giving up, Peeta. Johanna has a plan."_

"_Oh really? And what would that be?" _I question, coming up beside her to see if I can help chop up vegetables for the beef stew I know she's making, or at least attempting to.

She hands me the large knife and a couple sticks of carrots before smiling wickedly.

"_We're going to plan a protest," _she must have anticipated my reaction because her hands immediately go up, stopping me from signing before she continues on. I sigh heavily, my face dropping.

"_Johanna's the one who suggested it, and we told Gale and Finnick and Madge and everyone is on board to start planning one. If Snow wants a war, we'll give him one."_

"_Katniss," _I sign, running a hand through my hair to try and figure out how I want to say this without completely bursting her bubble. She waits expectantly for me to continue.

"_I'm not sure if this is a good idea. What if you get into trouble? I don't want you to do all this for me."_

She rolls her eyes, shaking her head with each word I sign.

"_Peeta, don't you understand?" _she begins. _"We won't get into trouble. They can't stop us from expressing how we feel and if we could attract a lot of attention to the situation then-"_

"_Attention?" _I question, my face paling, head shaking furiously back at her. _"Katniss, I don't _want _a lot of attention. It makes me uncomfortable."_

I've spent my entire life trying to blend in with the people and things that surround me. Just the little bit of people who found out about the initial chemical spill in Chemistry stresses me out to think about.

I don't expect Katniss to understand, and feel embarrassed even bringing it up to her, but the thought of people talking about me, good or bad, me being the focus of _anything _brings me back to a place of ridicule and a reminder of how _different _I am.

"_Peeta," _Katniss says after running her hand up and down my forearm, _"It's not like we're going to plaster your picture all over the school. We're just making a couple flyers saying it's wrong and try and rally a petition or something."_

I look to the ground hesitantly, knowing if I let myself meet her eyes pleading and guilting me it'll work and I'll give into anything she asks of me.

"_Plus," _she continues, and I make sure only to look at her hands. _"It won't be for _just you. _It's for everyone treated unfairly because of an impairment beyond their control. Yes, of course people will assume we're focusing our efforts because of you, but what if we win, Peeta?"_

"_What?" _I question.

"_You'll be changing the lives of those kids who are coming."_

Katniss truly is my best friend. She knows exactly which strings to pull in order to make me crack and breakdown into giving her what it is she wants, or anyone really.

She knows I can't resist the idea of helping other kids.

What she doesn't know is I also find it extremely difficult to resist her.

* * *

After dinner is finished, Prim, Katniss and I clean up the kitchen. The Everdeens have a dishwasher, but it hasn't worked in years and for some reason or another Mrs. Everdeen hasn't gotten around to replacing or fixing it.

We don't mind hand-washing them much anyway though, and create an assembly line where Katniss washes, I dry and Prim puts them back in their respective places.

The process takes over an hour to complete, and by the time we're finished, settling in their family room, Katniss is drawing the curtains closed and the sky has long since grown pitch black.

Prim wants us to watch a movie with her; one we've seen on multiple occasions about a family getting a puppy for Christmas. With December only days away, it's hard to find a channel that _doesn't _play Christmas shows or movies non-stop.

Prim turns on the subtitle option and scoots on the ground so her back is pressed against the couch. She draws her legs up into her body and wraps her thin arms around them, eyes focused on the screen ahead of her intently.

Katniss sits on the couch directly behind her and places a leg on either side of her body, pulling Prim's hair out of its braids and running her fingers through it gently.

My pocket buzzes and I pull out my phone to find a message from Rye asking if I plan to come home this evening. I send him a short reply back that I'm staying over here at the Everdeens for the night and don't hear back from him. He's probably busy playing a video game with Bannock and Dad asked him to text me. Rye has never really cared where I am or what I'm doing.

Even though Prim has put subtitles on, the story line isn't the most interesting one and I find it hard to follow within just a couple of minutes.

My book bag sits off to the side of me and I reach inside to pull out my sketch pad, flipping through the pages of half drawn fruit and trees from art class back in Panem. When I find a blank page, toward the middle of the book I fold the other pages behind it and tug the pencil free from the spirals that surround it.

Katniss and Prim are oblivious to what I'm doing as Katniss continues to run her fingers through Prim's blonde locks. I trace the outlines of their bodies, erasing and re-drawing the curve of Prim's legs and the delicate fingers of Katniss.

I'm about half way through the sketch when Katniss has finished re-braiding Prim's hair and casts a look in my direction, her lips turning up slightly. She scoots closer to me until her head rests on my shoulder and she can watch to see what I'm doing.

The basic sketch of their forms is complete and Katniss watches as I shade in appropriate places to make it look more realistic.

"_You have a gift, you know," _she says when it's finished and I place it on top of her folded legs. Her fingers trail over it, just as always before she hands the sketch to Prim whose mouth opens wide with surprise.

I shake my head, embarrassed by the praise. I know I'm not a _bad_ drawer, but Katniss has always had a way of making me appear much more amazing than I know I am.

"_You do too," _she argues. _"Except, I don't think you see right." _

My eyebrows furrow in concern._"What did I do wrong?"_

"_For one, I don't look like _that," she points to the drawing of her with a scrunched up face. I eye her curiously, a smile dancing to my lips.

"_The woman you always draw, claiming it to be "me" is much too beautiful."_

I study her carefully for a second before drawing her face up to meet mine.

"_I don't think I'm the one with a visionary problem," _I tell her, _"It's you who doesn't see clearly._

* * *

As always, thank you so much for the reviews and added alerts/favorites. The responses so far have been a joy to read and I look forward to hearing from you guys again :)

If you have tumblr and would like to follow me, my new URL is "ivegotthesclaf" link to my page is on my profile!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

As always, a huge thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Six: In Which There is a Meltdown**

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_April 2009_

"So, what's the status of you and that boy?"

I turn to my newest friend Finnick with curious eyes and follow his gaze to where it rests on Peeta in the front of the room where he sharpens his pencil.

Madge introduced me to Finnick about a week and a half ago. They're in the same history class and have been working on some big debate together. She was right when she told me it was impossible _not_ to like him. We hit it off right away.

Today is Peeta's first day back in school from a two-week leave. He was only supposed to be gone for three or four days, to visit his sick grandmother but she ended up dying on the visit, so they stayed to help with funeral arrangements.

Peeta wasn't too devastated by her passing though, he'd only met her twice before now and said she smelled like mothballs and hit him and his brothers a lot.

"What do you mean?" I whisper, paranoid that someone in the room might overhear.

"You've got a thing for each other," he says, rather than asks and I'm taken back by his accusation.

"What? No we don't. Peeta's my best friend, that's all."

Peeta walks back over, holding a small stack of freshly sharpened pencils in his hands and I offer him a gentle smile. He tugs on my braid jokingly before glancing at Finnick indecipherably as he passes to the seat behind me.

When I turn back to Finnick, his eyebrows are arched and he wears an annoying smirk.

"_Right," _he speaks with emphasis.

"What?" I ask icily, tapping my fingers against the desk.

"I'm just calling it like I see it," he says, raising his hands in the air, like he's innocent.

"And..."

"And the way you two look at each other... I don't know, seems a little more than "best friendy" to me."

"Well, what do you know?" I joke, turning back to my paper. I run the tips of my fingers over the lower half of my braid and hear a snort from his end. When I chance a glance up he's batting his long eyelashes.

"I'm _never_ going to wash this braid again!"

"Shut up!"

* * *

_December 2012_

Today is the fifth day Prim and I drive alone to school.

After I wave Peeta off, begging him to drive carefully, we pile into my car and head down the snow-filled roads in an awkward silence.

It's been snowing heavily since last night and we've gained several inches of snow with no prospects of it stopping as more continues to fall down rapidly from the sky.

_Today was_ supposed_ to be Peeta's turn to drive._ I find myself thinking bitterly as I pull into the parking lot, breathing a sigh of relief for getting us there in one piece.

Prim waves goodbye in my general direction, sprinting daintily to get inside and out of the cold. I stupidly stand by my car a second too long, forgetting that I'm not waiting for anyone else.

For the most part, nothing has changed.

Peeta and I still work in the bakery after school most days and spend our evenings tucked away in someone's room, telling funny stories and laughing and talking until we fall asleep. Then, we get up and instead of going to school _together_, we say goodbye.

_It's only six hours. _I've told myself so many times it's basically becoming my motto. But even though I have Johanna, Madge, Gale and Finnick, school isn't nearly as bearable as it was before Peeta left.

Not to mention he was my partner in _every class. _

I pass Rye in the hallway before the first bell on my way to meeting up with everyone. He's leaning against some girl's locker, wearing that douchey smile Peeta and I have warned him against using multiple times in the past. It seems to work on this dame though because she giggles girlishly and entwines a finger through her hair.

I push his shoulder as I walk by and hear him let out a soft _ompfh! _before he calls out my name. I don't stop walking but shortly after he appears on the other side of me, nudging me with his shoulder.

"How's it going?"

"It's going."

"Peeta mentioned something the other night, about a petition or-"

"Shh!" I say, making him jump at my sudden harshness. "Sorry, it's just... you never know who's listening and if this thing gets shut down before it's even begun, then there'll be no chance of getting Peeta back."

"Right, sorry. Well, just to let you know _whatever it is, _count Bannock and I in."

I turn to him in surprise, "Really?"

He nods goofily. "Of course. I mean, I hate the kid sometimes but he is my little brother, and hell, you're like my little sister so I'm on board."

"Thank you," I say honestly. Having Rye and Bannock on the team actually makes my heart rate decrease significantly and a feeling of relief washes over my tight body.

"All right, well don't get all mushy on me now," he says, smiling uncomfortably and I roll my eyes, snickering.

"I'll see you around," he adds, patting my head awkwardly before turning in the opposite direction.

"See you."

I was so busy chatting with Rye, I overshot the hallway I usually take to meet up with everyone, so instead I swing the next right and take the staircase leading to the top floor there. It empties out into a mostly deserted hallway, but it's only one turn to the left until I can make out Gale's tall head poking over the rest.

"Hey," I greet, the chipper tone I practiced over in my mind sounding robotic.

Johanna is too busy wrestling a notebook out of her messy locker and Gale is too oblivious to read too much into my tone but Finnick casts me a sideways glance silently asking if I'm all right.

"Fine," I mouth, relieved that he doesn't question it further.

"Katniss, I have an idea for the flyers! We just need to get our hands on a copier and we can post these bad boys all over school," Johanna grunts, pulling her notebook free and flipping through pages before shoving it in my face.

In big, bold letters it reads:

**SAVE THE DEAF KIDS.**

I hear Finnick choke back a snort behind me as I stare at it wide eyed.

"Johanna, what the actual fuck is this?" he asks between laughing fits, doubled over and gripping his knees for support.

"What? It's big, blunt and direct."

"_Very _direct," I add, closing the notebook and handing it back to her. "Uh..."

"We can't post that, Jo," Finnick finishes what I struggle to say. Johanna looks hurt for a moment before her face twists up into a scowl.

"I don't see you coming up with any ideas."

"Yeah, but when I do it won't suck."

"Everyone calm down," I say, leaning against the locker with a gentle thud. "Thanks for giving us a vision Jo, but we're going to need something else."

For once Gale, Johanna and Finnick are all silent at the same time, their eyes trained in unison on me.

"Now I _did _convince Peeta to be all right with this, but he doesn't want a whole lot of..." I trail off when I notice Johanna biting her lip like she's about to burst into laughter.

Gale's face is twisted in confusion; his eyes focused just below my chest and Finnick offers a sympathetic frown.

"Catnip, what are you doing?"

I follow his gaze to see my hands twisted up in mid-sign. I hadn't even noticed I'd been doing it. I tuck my hands behind my back reflexively as Johanna and Gale begin wailing with uncontrollable laughter.

"That was cute, Katniss," Johanna adds in between her fits.

I laugh awkwardly along with them, admitting it was funny with burning cheeks and embarrassment welling in the pit of my stomach. My hands knot with each other and when the bell rings, I turn on my heels before anyone can stop me.

* * *

After English, I make my way to the library to meet Johanna as we discussed, instead of heading directly to study hall.

It's awkwardly silent inside, with just the sound of beeping as two students check books out in between classes. One of the librarians cast me a gentle wave that I return before Johanna cuts the silence motioning to me where she's sitting.

She's tucked away toward the back, perched behind a large computer monitor and flips through her notebook with one hand as she scrolls with the other.

"Okay, I thought of another slogan," Johanna beams, clearing her throat. "_What's with all the hate? Don't discrimi__**nate**__!_"

I'm silent and her large grin falters.

"You hate it."

"No, it's clever but-"

"-But you hate it."

"What I need you to do is focus_ all your_ _creative talents _on making the flyers... eye-catching. I'll do the words, you do the pretty. Okay?"

"Don't talk to me like I'm five," she grunts, scrolling through clip art again. "I bet you Peeta would like my ideas."

I chuckle at her response and check my phone for any messages I might have missed from him. There's one, in response to my earlier text telling him his brothers want to help, in which he replies with a smiley face who's mouth is wide open in shock.

_I know, I felt the same way! _I respond, wishing he was sitting here now so we could laugh together.

"Hey, how about this?" she asks pointing to a picture of a hand raised in the universal _I love you _sign. My breath catches as I look it over more closely and I snap a picture of it with my phone, sending it to Peeta.

"It's perfect."

* * *

"So... what exactly are we going to do?" Johanna whispers to me as we stand in the center of the quiet hallway, each of our hands filled with stacks of flyers. It took three different copier machines to print them all without suspicion.

In about five minutes the bell will ring, signaling second period over and third beginning, and the halls will become flooded with students and staff.

"I think we need to get a head start," I tell her honestly, taking a piece of tape and placing the first paper on the wall in one of the busiest hallways.

After Johanna found the sign language 'I love you' the rest was easy. We used the caption:

_Love doesn't discriminate._

_Equal learning opportunities for everyone. _

We were finished within ten minutes, satisfied with the final product. I'll have to bring one home to show Peeta this evening.

"It looks good," Johanna says and I nod in agreement as the bell rings.

"Time to throw it in their faces," I shrug and begin handing them out as students begin walking by.

"Take one," I say with an outstretched arm. "Pass this along."

I can feel Johanna's eyes boring into my body as I tape another one to the wall and turn to her in puzzlement.

"What?"

"You _suck_ at this," she snorts and my shoulders slump. Without warning, she takes about ten in her hand and throws them up into the air.

"Want to piss Snow off? Take one of these!" she says handing some kid a dozen, "Pass them along. Spread the word! Support a fucking cause, it's almost Christmas time!"

I stare at her with a mix of amusement and surprise but she only rolls her eyes, signaling me to follow her. She posts the papers to a ton of lockers along the way, handing them to anyone who passes her.

I follow lamely behind her, trying to come off as enthusiastic as she is (if for no other reason than for Peeta) but it doesn't quite translate the same way. Johanna is well known for being _rambunctious _so this comes as no surprise to everyone.

But I can barely give a presentation in front of fifteen or twenty students, let alone approach strangers in the hall and beg them to take something from me.

"Hey, give me one of these!" someone says from right behind me. I turn to see Finnick standing there, his lips turned up in excitement. I pass him a flyer and watch as he reads to gauge his reaction.

"_Love_ doesn't discriminate?" he asks, emphasizing the first word with an arched eyebrow. "Ooh la la."

"Shut up, you know what it means."

"No, please inform me, Ms. Everdeen."

I snatch the paper back from him, setting it on the top of my pile.

"It _means _that the school should love everyone equally, and everyone should get the chance to learn the way they'd like..."

Finnick continues to stare at me in amusement and I can feel my cheeks growing hotter.

"It made sense to Johanna."

"I'm just yanking your chain, Kat," he spoke, grabbing a chunk of papers before waving goodbye.

"Wait," I call, handing the rest of the ones in my hands to him. "If you see Rye or Bannock give them a ton. They have study hall this period and promised to put some up for me."

"Sure thing."

"Thanks Finn."

"Don't mention it. You'll just owe me sometime," he says with a wink then disappears down the hall.

* * *

While we're supposed to be finishing our history exams, I sit tapping my pencil against the side of my desk incessantly. The kid to my right has sighed with annoyance three times in the past five minutes.

I jump at the sound of my name, coming from the front of the room, where the teacher has his ear pressed against the telephone.

"You're wanted in the guidance office."

"Thank _god," _the kid next to me huffs under his breath in a hushed tone he thinks I don't hear. I grab my exam and hand it over as I slip past the door.

"Don't you want to finish?" my teacher asks in concern, but I only shrug. I know I failed anyway. Even if I _had_ studied last night like Peeta urged me to, my mind would've still been distracted by the thought of all the loose flyers floating around the school at this very moment.

The hallways are decorated. They're stuck on lockers, all along the floors, on doors and walls and railings...

Rye and Bannock have been thorough, because there's at least twice as many now than there was when Johanna and I littered the hallway.

By chance, I happen to see Johanna just ten or so paces ahead of me down the hall when I turn. I call out her name and she turns to me questioningly, waiting until I've caught up with her.

"Guidance office," I explain, but her expression just grows colder.

"Me too," she says slowly and my eyebrows knit together before realization sets in. Ms. Trinket wouldn't call us down at the same time if the matter in which she was looking to discuss wasn't the same.

And the only thing we can think of is the flyers.

Johanna rips one off the wall and looks it over before tucking it into her pocket as we knock on Ms. Trinket's door.

"Come on in, girls."

Her office space is wide and airy with a wrap-around desk that has a million and one knick-knacks on top of it. Johanna and I sit down slowly in the two chairs opposite her and wait awkwardly as she continues to type for nearly a minute.

When she finally focuses her attention our way she breaths heavily and blinks at least four times. I focus my attention straight ahead, knowing if I even glance in Johanna's direction I burst into laughter.

"I'm sure you girls know why you're here," she speaks, her silly high-pitched voice making it difficult to take her seriously.

"I'm sure you're going to tell us anyways," Johanna responds and I nearly choke. Ms. Trinket narrows her eyes in Johanna's direction and purses her small pink lips together.

"Care to explain what this is all about?" she continues on, holding one of the flyers Johanna and I mass-produced.

We exchange a look quickly and turn back to Ms. Trinket wordlessly.

"I think you already know," I reply coolly, not daring to be disrespectful neither backing down. "I promised Mr. Snow I wouldn't give up easily and as long as there's injustice going on, how can I stay silent?"

"In-_Injustice?" _Ms. Trinket scoffs, her pale face actually brightening with color. "Ms. Everdeen I find your zeal... _commendable _but I personally feel you girls are taking things a little too far."

"Because Snow wants us to keep our mouths shut?" Johanna hisses.

"He is _Mr. Snow _to you. Disrespect will not be tolerated in my office, Ms. Mason."

Johanna sits back in the chair with a grunt.

"Now, I am trying to help you girls understand that although your efforts are noteworthy, they're completely unnecessary. What's done is done and there's no point changing something that's for the best."

"For the best in whose case?" my voice raises just slightly as I sit up straighter in my seat. "The school's? Or Peeta's?"

"Both."

"That's a lie!" I shout, rising to my feet.

Her fist slams down on the desk roughly and silence over takes the room as we stare each other down, Johanna's face casted off out the window.

"Sit _down _Ms. Everdeen," she whispers and slowly I lower myself back into the seat.

"Now I am trying to be nice, but you girls are making this much more difficult than it needs to be, so I'm going to say this once and then dismiss you, all right?" her voice is positively venomous as she grits the words out through her teeth.

"It would be in your _best interest _to settle down before Mr. Snow gets more upset than he already is with the two of you. He asked me to take care of this, because he figured we could settle this like ladies, but rest assured if it continues he will be forced to take action."

Her hand outstretches, holding the flyer in my direction. I take it from her roughly and place it down on her desk with a thud. Her eyes follow the paper then land back on mine.

"I _dare_ him."

* * *

"She was such a bitch about the whole thing," Johanna continues on as we relate the story to Finnick, Madge and Gale during lunch.

She takes in a large spoonful of her ramen noodles, half of them oozing out her mouth and rolls her eyes before snickering.

"You should have seen Katniss though, getting all political and shit. Mrs. Trinket couldn't even deny what you were saying was right so she just kept sputtering off like an idiot."

"What did she say was going to happen exactly?" Gale asks, his attention focused on Madge's ass as she rises from her seat to get a ketchup packet for her burger.

"That's the best part, she had no _real_ threat."

"She said Principal Snow would be _'forced to take action,'" _I say, picking at the Jell-o that sits off to the side of my cold food.

"Whatever the fuck that means," Johanna snorts. "Katniss was all "I _dare him."_

The table collectively 'ooo's' and I roll my eyes, waving them off.

"Katniss the badass; starting rebellions and laughing in the face of danger!" Finnick says, his voice deep but corny.

"They just don't want the school to look bad, is all. There's nothing they can actually do about the flyers. We're not being disrespectful and they can't take away our God-given right to use our power of speech!"

"Now who's getting political?" I question earning a chorus of laughter from the table.

"Tell Peeta to hang on," Johanna says when she notices me typing away on my phone. "We'll have him back soon."

_How is your day going?_

_Fine._ I lie, but my thumb lingers over the send button for a long moment. Peeta will read right through my lies. So I add: _There's over a hundred flyers floating around school right now and the support is building. We've already got..._

I look at the petition signature clipboard and see only fifteen names are filled out; seven of them being from us and his two brothers. I erase the last part of the message and send it, waiting anxiously for a reply.

All this talk of Peeta returning and focusing on the flyers and petition are good distractions, but they do little to nothing to calm my nerves or relax me at all. I find as the day progresses, so does my heart rate and my leg dances nervously underneath the table.

This isn't the first time I've been in school and Peeta hasn't. A couple years back his family went to visit his grandmother for a week before she died and he wasn't in school for nearly fourteen days.

It sucked, but it didn't quite feel like _this. _Like... hollowness. It's like my chest is burning and my hands are sweaty and I can't seem to get a fucking grip or focus on anything-

My phone buzzes against the table loudly.

_That's great. They looked really nice. Tell Johanna I laughed about her slogans._

I can't focus on anything until I hear from him again.

_Okay, will do. I'll see you after school? We're going over to Johanna's, don't forget. _

_I'll see you then!_

* * *

Cato fucking Baxter is in Peeta's seat when I walk into Chemistry.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm your new lab partner," he states with a smirk.

"Don't get comfortable," I grunt, falling down into the chair with folded arms. "Peeta will be back soon."

"Doubt it," he snorts.

I can feel myself beginning to crack.

"I'm gonna call us 'Team Baxdeen.' Get it? It kinda rhymes."

* * *

It's been a long time since I've felt this alone.

Today has definitely been my lowest day since Peeta's been gone; filled with emotions ranging from hatred and anger to sadness that feels closed to depression to... a slight twinge of hope.

I don't even have the energy to focus my mind on positive thoughts of hope as I drag my feet to my last class of the day: Math. The only thing I can think is that I hope these last forty minutes past somewhat quickly so I can fucking _leave. _

I lose count of how many flyers I see on my path to class and can only hope that maybe they've helped Snow gain some sort of clue that things can get a lot better or a lot worse...

But they're not going to stay the same.

Something about Math has my chest tightening with anxiety all over again, maybe it's because it's easily my worst subject. My mind drifts to thoughts of when I'd try translating things to Peeta and he would only laugh when I'd mess up or twist my numbers around like an amateur.

It takes a couple strange looks my way to realize the rapid breathing I hear is mine.

_Stop fucking thinking._

I need to calm down. My hands are shaking and I can feel beads of sweat falling down the back of my neck. The only thing I can think to do that's somewhat reassuring and calming is to sign.

So, sneakily I stick my one hand underneath my desk and begin signing in time with the teacher's words. He's talking about equations and my hand stumbles to keep up with his fast words, but it _is_ working.

"What is she doing?" I hear off to the side of me, coming from Glimmer's lips, but I ignore her because if she's referring to me I could honestly give a flying fuck.

"What a freak."

I need to get out of here.

I need fresh air.

_I need Peeta._

"Are you _okay?" _Maysilee asks, her eyebrows knitted together in a disgusted expression, lips open in a scowl like she can't believe she's wasting words on me.

The bell rings and I'm out of my seat so quickly the chair falls back and hits the floor with a thud.

"Fine!"

I don't even stop to pick it up.

* * *

"_Love doesn't discriminate," _Peeta says, looking at the flyer in person for the first time._ "Aw Kat, you love me?"_

He nudges me teasingly and I roll my eyes at him, snatching the paper from his fingertips.

"_All joking aside, I really like it." _

I suppressed the urge to throw myself into Peeta's arms the second he arrived after school let out, because by day five people are going to stop understanding and just begin thinking I'm _insane._

Which maybe I am, but if I can hide it I might as well try.

When the others beg to know what he said about the flyer I translate his words, which makes the room erupt into fits of laughter. I smile too even with my cheeks growing increasingly more red, because it makes Peeta feel good to make them laugh.

"Tell him he doesn't even know the half of it!" Johanna hoots out before taking a swig of the drink she clasps in her palms.

"Yeah, tell him about when you were signing to yourself this morning," Gale chimes in and the two lose it together all over again.

My body stings with anger and I sit back further into the couch, wrapping my arms over my body defensively.

"No, fuck you guys."

"Come on, crazy," Johanna continues. "Take a joke, he'll laugh."

"Shut up."

"Just tell him!"

"No!"

Silence overtakes the room as Peeta glances around confused and a moment later there's a soft buzzing coming from him pocket.

I eye Johanna with a mixed expression of horror and furiousness as her and Gale nearly fall over, unable to control themselves as tears roll down their eyes and they clasp their bellies.

"Not cool, guys," Finnick sighs, running a hand through his hair.

I turn just in time to see Peeta open the text message, only he's not laughing along side them. He studies my face for a long moment, his eyes wide and saddened.

The room has grown silent and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. Paired with everything that's happened earlier today, Johanna's joke actually has me urging to smack her across the face. My hands clench and unclench behind my back as I tighten my jaw.

Peeta's hand reaches out for mine and I realize I can't do this. Not here with everyone staring.

I stand up from my spot on the couch and race for the stairs. I hear Finnick whispering furiously to Johanna right before I slam the door shut behind me.

The upper portion of Johanna's house is silent as I furiously look for my keys. I set them right on the edge of the island in the center of her kitchen so I _wouldn't fucking lose them _like I always do.

"Great," I sigh, running a hand over the back of my neck when I hear the basement door open and shut gently.

"Go away."

When no one answers, I turn to find Peeta standing there, his eyebrows knit and mouth turned down into a low frown.

"_Are you okay?" _he asks me, though his face tells me he already knows the answer.

"_I can't find my damn keys," _I say, avoiding the question. Peeta reaches into his pocket and pulls them out sheepishly.

"_You always lose them, so I just held onto them."_

"_Thanks," _I say, standing awkwardly beside him. I still have the urge to leave, but now with just Peeta standing here and no prying eyes watching or laughing I feel calmed.

He doesn't ask me if I'm okay again but just opens his arms and I fall into them with a heavy sigh. He smells familiar, like cinnamon and I inhale deeply as his fingers trace my back.

When we pull away from each other's embrace I can tell he's still looking for an answer as to what happened so I sigh reluctantly and squeeze his hand tightly.

"_I just... really miss you."_

"_I miss you too, Katniss."_

"_I need you, Peeta."_

He studies me for a long time before tucking a lock of my hair behind my ear.

"_Then let's do whatever it takes to get me back, okay?"_

* * *

Thanks again for all the support in the form of reviews and adds to your favorites and story alerts. I love hearing from you guys and hope to hear from you some more this time around!

**ivegotthesclaf **over on tumblr if you'd like to follow me! Details on my profile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Thanks to misshoneywell for all her help with this chapter and a special thanks to fnur for her speedy beta-reading skills. So glad to hear all is well with your little one!

* * *

**Chapter Seven: In Which There is Clashing**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_July 2011_

The sun blares through the cracked blinds in a way that shines directly into my eyes. No matter how much I toss and turn, falling back asleep is an impossible task and I finally sit up with a sigh. I glance off to the side, where Katniss is usually curled into a ball beside me, but the blankets are pulled back, the mattress cool to the touch.

It's probably late morning, judging by the heat that sticks to the window as I peel back the blinds, standing up to stretch my stiff limbs.

I notice my phone flashing with a message and bend over to pick it up from its spot on the ground, charging. It's from Katniss; a message saying she and Johanna went to a couple of garage sales this morning.

_I know you're not a big fan of them, so we decided to go early while you're still sleeping. See you in a little while!_

I guess she's not back yet. I send her a quick message to let her know I received hers and crack my back, a tired grunt vibrating through my throat.

I walk out of Katniss's room into the dark hallway, lit only by the light shining through the bathroom window. The door to the bathroom swings half open and I push it back against the wall as I enter, turning the water to the sink on. I bend over and cup my hands to the water, splashing it over my face a few times before wetting the toothbrush I keep over here in a plastic cup next to Katniss and Prim's.

I lift my head up with my toothbrush and just begin scrubbing when I halt my movements, eyes wide and focused on the image in the mirror behind me.

It's a woman's silhouette, running her fingers through her long hair _in the shower. _Hair too long to belong to Prim or Mrs. Everdeen but is the perfect length to be-

_Katniss. _

My jaw goes slack, a small string of toothpaste spit trailing down my chin as I stand, unmoving in shock.

Because Katniss _is in the shower. _

Through the tinted glass I can make out her slender arms running down her belly, her legs staggered just enough so that a valley of light separates them and the smooth curve where her breasts must land.

_Her tits are right fucking there..._

I shake my head free of its fog, all the blood in my body either traveling to my cheeks or between my legs as I stumble back, flustered. I step on the plug of Prim's curling iron, tugging it to the ground in my haste.

My body hunches over, one hand wrapping around my aching foot, the other holding onto the wall for support.

I feel the wall under my hand vibrate and slowly, I turn my head up toward the shower where Katniss's head is poking out, her hair dripping onto the rug below her and a sly smirk dancing on her lips.

I can only imagine what I look like; toothbrush dangling in my clamped lips, bent in half with a bright red face balancing on one foot.

_Smooth. _

"_I can explain," _I begin but she holds up one hand, the other hanging onto the sliding glass door of the shower, the only thing keeping her body hidden from my view.

"_Oh, you woke up," _she signs, ignoring the awkwardness of the situation. _"You slept longer than I thought you would."_

"_I'll leave until you're done-"_

"_Peeta, just finish brushing your teeth," _she says with a roll of her eyes. _"It's fine, chill."_

I have to be fucking dreaming.

"_And close your mouth before a fly gets in or something," _she winks before sliding the door closed.

I shake my head not once, but twice raising a hand to the toothbrush that sits limply past my lips and continuing to brush them in a haze.

I'm curious as to why Katniss would shower with the door open and lights off, the only two signs I'd have to alert me to it being occupied, but I don't dwell on the fact too long because one thought jumps to another and then I'm thinking what if she _wanted_ me to walk in...

_She probably just figured I was still sleeping, _the more sensible part of my brain reminds me, but it doesn't stop the tingling I feel in my groin from growing.

Though I try not to, I find my eyes continuing to drift to the image of her shadow arching her back and bending over to grab a bottle of shampoo.

I've always known Katniss is _pretty, _and of course part of me has _wondered_ but now with these fresh images in my mind, I feel like my whole body is on fire.

I clumsily stumble out of the bathroom once I've finished brushing my teeth, wondering how I'm possibly going to calm down enough in time for her to get out.

* * *

_December 2012_

_I need you, Peeta._

Katniss's words echo in my mind long after they've been said. As I lay in her bed I vividly recall the desperation in her eyes, the way her hands shook with her words, lips parted slightly. My heart clenched uncomfortably in my chest as we stood in Johanna's kitchen.

Katniss isn't one who typically can't take a joke, in fact in the past she's always been the first to laugh at herself so no one else could. I knew something was off when Johanna texted me instead Katniss just telling me what they wanted to be said.

_Katniss was signing to herself like a crazy person today... you need to come back! _The message had read, which might have been funny, or endearing if it hadn't been for the look of emptiness and hopelessness that accompanied it.

We left Johanna's shortly after Katniss fled up the stairs. I was on my feet before hers hit the first floor, but I had turned to gauge the reaction of everyone else, somehow communicate an apology for ditching. Finnick simply pointed up the stairs, a simple and direct _go. _

"_I'll meet you at your house?" _I asked her, unlocking the door to my car and she nodded before waving her arms dramatically to regain my attention.

"_First, milkshake."_

We found the closest McDonalds, nearly twenty minutes out of the way and sat there for nearly an hour and a half, long after she had devoured the chocolate shake.

Katniss waltzes in the room from her shower, a towel tucked neatly on top of her head wearing a thin-strapped tank top and a pair of my baggy sleep pants riding low on her hips.

She jumps on the bed with a thud and her fresh scent invades my nostrils. I watch as she falls onto her back and spreads her arms high above her head.

While her eyes are shut and her breathing is easy, I poke my finger in her armpit, making her entire relaxed body spasm into a ball. When she glares in my direction, I offer her a sly smile and wave and she shakes her head, attempting to appear menacing but of course failing miserably.

"_Oh, just wait, Peeta Mellark," _she threatens, throwing the towel that's fallen off her head at me.

I smile, balling it up onto the floor and crossing my arms stubbornly.

"_You don't scare me, Katniss Everdeen."_

"_You'll be sorry."_

* * *

The room is pitch black when I wake up to feather-light touches in between my shoulder blades. I swat at the source tiredly, but it only persists obnoxiously.

I turn onto my back, hoping to rid the irritation when I feel the same sort of light movements on the base of my neck. I jump into a sitting position reflexively, all the blood rushing to my head at the sudden movements.

The light flickers on a moment later, but I still have to squint as it takes a minute for my eyes to adjust. When they do, the first thing I see is Katniss laying on her side, head propped against her forearm with a soft pillow feather dangling from her other hand.

From the look on her face, it's taking all she has not to laugh.

I try snatching the feather from her, but she moves quicker, pulling away with the shake of her head.

"_All right, you got me," _I say in surrender, falling onto my back beside her. I stare up at the ceiling for a long moment but can feel her eyes on me, studying.

"_What time is it?" _I wonder.

"_Almost three."_

"_Fuck."_

"_Yeah."_

"_You woke up at three just to tickle me?" _I question, eyebrow raised. _"That's taking a prank to the next level."_

"_No, I had to pee and remembered when I got back into bed. I mean, the feather was just laying there anyway, it was practically begging me."_

"_Ah."_

She sits up, wide awake and crosses her legs over one another, resting her elbows on both her kneecaps.

I yawn, rubbing my eyes for a long moment before looking back to her.

"_Planning on going back to bed?"_

"_Can I tell you a secret?"_

I nod.

"_I didn't have to pee," _she says, refusing to look at me. _"I've been awake."_

I look to her, confused.

"_Thinking," _she specifies. _"I just couldn't sit up thinking any longer alone."_

"_Misery loves company," _I sign and she casts me an apologetic frown.

"_Sorry."_

"_What are you thinking about?"_

She doesn't answer me for the longest time. Her eyes train to the curtains that cover her window past me, and her fingers strum on the mattress below her. I wait patiently though and finally her far away stare lands on me.

"_Yesterday was probably one of the worst days of my life," _she says with honesty. _"I don't remember ever feeling so... alone before. I know I shouldn't complain because I still have everyone else and you... you have nobody, but it's not the same, Peeta. They're trying but it's not the same."_

"_I know," _I say, sitting up across from her. _"Believe me, I do."_

"_I know."_

"_What... happened yesterday?"_

I listen, adding the occasional nod as she launches into telling me about the flyers and Ms. Trinket and Gale and Johanna laughing at her, ending with the fact that Cato is her new lab partner.

"_I didn't think you'd be gone long enough for them to replace you." _

"_Me either," _I say, trying not to appear sour in my facial expressions. _"Don't worry, Kat. When you go in today, people will be lining up to help support the cause and I'll be back in no time."_

"_Yeah," _she agrees, though neither of us seem entirely convinced.

* * *

I have Katniss set an alarm for me earlier than normal so I have time to go home and shower before heading off to school. I feel bad, making her get up early for me. I would set the alarm on my phone to vibrate and tuck it under my pillow, but we've learned from experience trying to wake me is like trying to wake the dead.

She stays leaning over my body just long enough for my eyes to open before retreating back to her side of the bed, back turned to me. I roll my tired body over and move as closely into her as I can, wrapping a tired arm around her small belly.

She turns her head just enough for her hair to fall into my face and I feel her body shake with laughter.

"_Don't you need to go?" _she signs, once she's lying on her stomach.

"_No. I changed my mind, let's just lay here all day." _

"_Don't tempt me." _

I grin and her face mirrors my own sleepily before I sit up with great effort, running a hand through my messy hair. I climb out of the bed, gathering my book bag that lies in the middle of the room and jacket, which had been cast off to the side yesterday.

With one hand on the door handle, I turn to wave goodbye in Katniss's direction, but her eyes have already fluttered closed, her mouth parted just slightly.

The entire hallway and path leading downstairs is dark, the navy skies outside doing nothing to help illuminate it.

There's one single light that glows through the threshold of the door while I slip on my shoes, leading to the dining room. I tiptoe through the Everdeen's small kitchen, not at all surprised to find Mrs. Everdeen awake.

Ever since Mr. Everdeen passed, she's found it increasingly more difficult to sleep at night, which is why she now prefers to take the evening shifts at work, Katniss has told me.

She appears zombie-like as she sits slumped over a mug of coffee that she grips like a vice in her palms. Her eyes are downcast, but focus on nothing in particular.

After a long pause, her head lifts up to face me and she offers a small tug upward of her lips. I wave carefully and she returns it before staring off into nothingness again.

Katniss told me a long time ago she's stopped wishing for her mom to snap out of things, but I still hope every time I see her that maybe one day she will.

Bannock is awake when I slip through the door of my own house and makes my heart rate increase as he appears out of thin air.

"_Sorry, sorry," _he apologizes quickly, placing a hand on either of my shoulders.

"_You snuck up on me is all," _I say, stepping on the heels of my shoes to pull them off. _"What are you doing up anyway?"_

"_I saw you pull in through the window upstairs," _he explains. _"I wasn't expecting you to come home. I thought you'd just go to school from Katniss's."_

"_Oh," _I reply, rocking back and forth in my position. _"No, um I need to shower and grab a couple of things."_

Katniss has no problem using our shower the mornings she spends the night over here, but it's a little different for me.

What it mostly boils down to is privacy. Their upstairs bathroom lock is a little tricky, where you have to push the knob in and twist it in order for the door to properly stay shut.

I find myself thinking about their lock as I press the simple small button of ours, the knob immediately locking tight. I strip myself free of my shirt and bump the water temperature up warmer, my skin cool from the cold temperatures outside.

Another reason, I think about as I lather the soap up in my hands and run it along my body, is for safety. If, for some reason something were to happen, and I was locked inside a bathroom, it'd be hard for the Everdeens to reach me and hard for me to communicate to them that I'm in need of help.

But Bannock, being ever inventive and creative, installed a long cord that I only need to yank once and a light will flash outside of the bathroom. Thank goodness I've never actually needed to use this embarrassing device, but it gives me a sense of ease while I'm in here.

When I finish drying off and brushing my teeth I feel the floor vibrate under my feet and see through the mirror my jeans lying in a ball on the ground light up. I spit the tooth paste from my mouth and swish away the residue with water before reaching inside them to pull out my cell phone.

_Sorry I fell asleep. Have a good day._

_You too, _I reply, pulling a white undershirt over my head, parts of it sticking to areas of my body not fully dried. _Text me anytime, all right? I'll answer and I'll see you later._

_Okay. I'll take you up on that offer, _she replies, adding a quick smiley face at the end. I grip it in my hand and walk out of the steaming bathroom and into my room two doors over.

Rye is awake and stumbling from his room, eyes barely opened past slits and hair sticking up in every possible direction. He offers a nod of his head and pats my back messily as he walks by, shutting the bathroom door behind him.

Twenty minutes later he emerges as his typical, put together and chipper self.

"_Thought you spent the night at Katniss's house," _he says, leaning against the doorway as I slip on my socks.

"_I did. Came home to shower and grab a couple things."_

He nods, picking at the chipping paint for a moment before unfolding his arms.

"_She's... working her ass off for you, you know."_

"_Yeah, I know," _I reply, a little rush of guilt flooding my chest, because I know I don't deserve the time and effort she's put forth.

"_She needs her buddy back," _he smiles sadly. _"Feisty little thing isn't going to give up, either." _

"_She's tough," _I respond lamely.

"_I've been keeping an eye on her, just so you know. Bannock, too."_

When I meet Rye's eyes, his focus is on the floors below him where he paints lines with his socked foot. A swell of emotion floods through my body and I raise my hands more than once in response, but _thank you _doesn't seem good enough.

So I hug him instead.

* * *

Around ten in the morning I get a text message from Katniss with the image of an empty hallway, telling me Snow took down every poster overnight.

_I'm sorry, _I say because what else_ is_ there to say? That he's a jerk or an asshole? I'm sure she's hearing all kinds of colorful words from our other friends right about now.

Sorry doesn't make things better, but at this point, not much will.

_Don't worry, it's not over. _

_Katniss, be careful, _I say but never hear back from her.

With the time approaching noon, I've checked my phone just about once every five minutes, in case I don't feel it vibrate against my leg.

I notice Delly's eyes trail down the side of my body to where my hand rests under the desk checking my messages. She smiles when we make eye contact and turns back to her book. We're supposed to be reading for about twenty minutes more until lunch break.

A piece of paper nudges my arm, folded over three times neatly. I smooth it out reading the neat script that sits toward the top.

_You know, sometimes a bunch of us get together to hang out. You should come next time we do. _

It's not a bad idea, I find myself thinking as I read the note over for a second time. It'd be kind of fun to hang out with my new friends outside of school, where we have a little more freedom to talk and do things. I'm sure Katniss wouldn't mind coming either, she'd probably have fun.

_That sounds good, _I scribble, pressing it into her arm before returning to my book. Out of the corner of my eye I see her lips twist up into a gentle smile, hand writing furiously.

_I'll definitely let you know the next time we get together._

_Okay, thanks. _

I return the note and she tucks it inside her binder just as Mr. Heavensbee steps to the front of the room and announces we can head down to the cafeteria for lunch. I watch as students all around me slide out of their chairs and excitedly exit the room and walk down the hallway.

Delly and I both pack our lunches and wait at what is now our "typical" table for Annie, Thresh and a couple of their friends Rue and Clove to make their way through the food line.

"_We usually hang out at my house," _Delly continues out of the blue, pulling out neat packages of food. _"So, if you wanted to, you could just come over right after school or something."_

I nod in understanding as the others begin trickling to the table, finding empty chairs around us.

I lift my sandwich to take a large bite just as Delly taps her fingers against the table. When I look up at her, her eyes are trained elsewhere however, as she sticks an apple slice past her lips.

"_Who are they?"_

I turn to the direction she's staring off to and my look of confusion melts into one of excitement as I jump up from my seat. The sudden movement gains the attention of Finnick and Katniss who stand awkwardly by the door glancing around.

Katniss's face beams brightly and she waves excitedly, crossing the room to land in my hug.

"_What are you doing here?" _I ask when I let go, looking to her stunned.

"_We came to visit you, see what this place is all about."_

"_Oh!" _I sign with enthusiasm. _"Okay, well, come over here, you can meet my new friends."_

I turn back to the table and notice everyone's heads tilted up, eyeing us intently. I'm sure they're just as curious about my hearing friends as my hearing friends are about them. As we approach closer, although Delly appears guarded still, Annie smiles warmly and even offers an awkward wave. With just a moment's hesitation, Delly copies Annie's movements, but her smile lands on me instead.

"_This is Katniss, the one I've talked about so much," _I say with a goofy grin, causing her to blush. _"Katniss, this is Delly and Annie."_

"_Oh, and this is Finnick," _I say, pointing to where he stands behind Katniss. Katniss's lips begin moving in Finnick's direction and a second later he waves, a wide grin spreading to his face.

There's a drawn out pause where no one is quite sure what to say and I rock back and forth on my heels.

"_I'll go grab a couple chairs for you guys," _I decide, touching Katniss's arm for just a moment before walking hurriedly to the stack of chairs tucked away in the corner. I pull two off the top and place them to the side of the table, one next to me and the other by Annie.

I watch as Katniss takes a small bite of my sandwich and picks up one of the baby carrots I have in a baggy.

"_Do you not have lunch at your old school?" _Delly teases in Katniss's direction and Katniss smirks with a shrug, sticking another carrot past her lips.

"_Peeta always shares his lunch with me." _

Delly's eyebrows raise in acknowledgement, but shortly after she turns her attention back to her lunch, almost bitterly. I frown in her direction, unsure of what sparked that response but she's not looking at me, and Katniss smacks my arm in excitement.

"_I almost forgot, check it out!"_

She waves a piece of paper around close to my face and places it in my awaiting hands eagerly. Once I take a closer examination, I realize it's a brand new flyer.

This one is much more colorful, with a picture of a large red stop sign and another of a hand in motion, doing the sign for 'to stop.'

Underneath reads: "Anyone can tell you it's wrong. Equal Learning Opportunities for All!"

"_I mean I liked the first one better, but with a little tweaking and Photoshop, it's not horrible." _

"_It's great!" _I exclaim enthused, setting it down underneath me to take another bite of my sandwich. _"I can't believe you guys did this in a day."_

"_Johanna and Gale are at the public library right now printing off dozens of copies. Of course we tried printing them at the school and there's no longer student access," _Katniss rolls her eyes and I smirk. _"They think a little copying machine is going to stop us?"_

"_They don't know who they're messing with," _I tease and Katniss's lips twitch up, her shoulders shaking with what I assume to be laughter.

"_It's only a matter of time before Snow caves."_

There's a soft knock on the table and Delly points to the flyer.

"_Can I see?"_

"_Oh, sure," _I grin, handing it to her. _"Katniss and my other friends made it today during their free period."_

Delly reads over the flyer with curious eyes a couple of times and her frown grows longer, eyebrows knitting further and further down the center of her face, wrinkling her nose.

"_I don't get it."_

"_It's promoting getting Peeta back," _Katniss explains, jabbing my side.

"_Getting him back... where?"_

"_To school, of course. Well, the school he belongs in, anyway." _

"_Well, if we're being technical, he belongs here," _Delly says, before running her fingertips over the edges of the paper.

Katniss's tight expression falters just slightly and she runs a hand through her hair, like she does when she's getting stressed or annoyed. I grip her leg under the table in hopes to be calming.

"_The one he wants to be in, then," _Katniss says, her eyes focusing on Finnick for support.

Delly glances over the flyer once more before handing it to me, dismissively.

"_It's cute," _she signs in a way that has Katniss gritting her teeth.

She turns her attention back to me and takes a deep breath.

"_By this evening, the school will be flooded with these new ones and Snow will know if he wants to keep tearing them down each night we'll only find new ways."_

"_You should take a picture," _I suggest, curious myself as to what it looks like. _"Do you think he'll be angry though?"_

"_Probably," _Katniss signs, her attention downcast at her phone as she scrolls through her messages taking a swig of my lemonade. _"Johanna says ten more people have asked her to sign the petition."_

I raise my eyebrows in amazement, surprised that anyone really cared enough to get involved and take a stand. I ask Katniss if she knows who the students are, but she's too busy responding to Johanna to notice.

"_We should get going, they're on their way back to the school and I want to be there to hand out the new flyers."_

"_Be careful."_

"_What do you think is going to happen?" _she asks, pinching my cheek and running a hand through my messy hair.

"_I don't know. I just don't want you getting into trouble."_

"_I'm fine, worry wart. And tonight, you can help us put them up around town."_

"_Okay," _I smile, feeling a little better with being included.

I watch as Katniss and Finnick say goodbye to Annie and more reluctantly Delly before turning their attention back to me.

"_Okay, see you later."_

"_Yes, I'll see you tonight," _I smile. Right before Katniss reaches the door, she turns back to me with one last smile. I raise my hand in our _I love you _sign and grin as she reciprocates the action, disappearing shortly after.

My hand falls as I notice Delly's scrutiny. Her eyes narrow in suspicion and her lips pucker just slightly.

"_Are you sure you and that girl aren't dating?"_

I shake my head, tucking the flyer into one of my folders.

"_No, that's just my Katniss."_

"_Then what's with the 'I love you's'?" _she asks, eyebrows raised.

"_I don't know, it's just something we do," _I say sheepishly, suddenly feeling like it's something to hide. My cheeks feel warmer against my face as she continues to stare at me in a way she hasn't before.

"_That's weird."_

I shrug, trying to lighten the mood with a smirk, _"Well, we're kind of a weird pair."_

Her eyebrows rise and fall again, like there's something she's dying to say but holds it back. I look to her questioningly but she only slumps her shoulders a little, raking her fingers over the table continuously.

"_It's a little more... one sided, from my point of view. The weirdness I mean." _

"_What are you talking about?" _

"_I mean, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but haven't you noticed she's a little rude?" _

I'm taken back by the accusation, looking to her with a floored expression. Hers softens and she places a soft hand next to mine, not touching it, but closely.

"_Rude? Katniss?" _I question, shaking my head in defense.

Delly nods furiously, _"Yeah. I mean she broke a lot of... rules."_

"_We have rules?" _I ask, sarcasm lacing my face and she sighs, her chest rising and falling dramatically.

"_They're unspoken, but yes like any culture there are some rules, Peeta."_

"_I'm sure if I just tell her she can fix it next time. What did she do?" _

"_More like what _didn't _she do," _Delly says, lips puckered again. _"Peeta, she was texting while you were talking to her, for heavens sake! Does she do that a lot?"_

I shrug, never having noticed much before.

"_We're best friends," _I say, excusing the action. _"Sometimes we do things without realizing it." _

"_Peeta, she doesn't _look _at you when you're signing."_

"_Sometimes she does. Enough to understand what I'm saying." _

"_Sometimes," _Delly agrees lamely.

"_Is... Is that bad?" _

Delly shakes her head, her lips parted like she might be laughing, though not from humor, more like something is pathetic. Her words match her expression.

"_If you need me to spell it out you really have been hanging around with the wrong people much too long."_

I frown as Mr. Heavensbee attempts to gain the class to some sort of order for the afternoon session, all the while being unable to think that Delly simply doesn't understand Katniss and me.

This is just how we are.

* * *

Thanks for all the support you all have shown through reviews/adds to favorites and alerts! It means a lot to me. I'm **ivegotthesclaf **over on tumblr if you're interested in following me!


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

A big thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter. Happy early update!

* * *

**Chapter Eight: In Which Katniss is Jealous**

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_October 2010_

"So, how are you liking Panem?" I ask Gale, the newest resident in town. His family moved here when his dad lost his job as a coal miner a couple of towns over.

I can't deny the slight smirk I give with my comment, having noticed the deep bags under his eyes and undeniable stress lines that paint his cheeks. He's tall - _very tall - _and towers over most the lower class men. I'm sure he's been mistaken as fresh meat to desperate senior girls.

Gale's family lives maybe a block or two down from where we are, and for the past couple of mornings we've kept one another company while we accompany our younger siblings to the bus stop.

He runs a tired hand through his hair and breaths a sigh before forcing a smile to his lips, "It's not bad," he speaks unconvincingly, "So far, so good."

"Can't be too different from your old town," I shrug and he agrees with the nod of his head, popping his locker open and reaching inside for a couple of binders.

Finnick initially met Gale when he literally ran into him on Gale's first day of school and spilled an entire mug of coffee down the front of his shirt.

* * *

One week earlier...

"_Fuck! Kat, I need your help!" The voice of Finnick rings out down the hallway. I turn in his direction - along with everyone else in the hallway - and watch as he comes barreling closer to me, carting an unfamiliar-red-faced stranger behind him._

_The stranger refuses to meet my gaze as Finnick struggles to choke out the words between panting breaths. _

"_What?" I ask him impatiently, shutting my locker in front of me. _

"_I need you to do me a favor," he says, pointing to the boy's shirt, which is completely soiled through with some brown liquid. _

"_This ought to be good," Johanna snorts behind me, Madge's mouth opening in a perfect 'o' of shock. _

"_What the hell did you do?"_

"_It doesn't matter," he insists in the same moment the boy mentions he spilled coffee down the front of him. I raise an eyebrow in Finnick's direction and he shoots me a sheepish smile._

"_What do you want me to do about it?" I snort, "There's not enough Tide-to-go in the school to fix that."_

"_Ask Peeta if he has an extra shirt or something in his gym locker. I think him and uh...what's your name again, dude?"_

"_Gale-"_

"_-Gale are the same size." _

_I turn to Peeta, who stands leaning against the locker with a perplexed expression, probably wondering what the hell is going on. I'll let him know later this is one of those situations in which maybe it's better he can't hear. _

"_I'll ask."_

"_It's really okay," Gale grumbles, brushing his hands along the wet shirt. I hear Madge mumble something about how he should take it off to which Johanna snickers._

_I snap in Peeta's direction and the sudden movement of my hand alerts his attention._

"Do you have an extra shirt? Idiot spilled coffee on this kid. He needs something to wear."

"Who is he?"

_I shrug._

"Well, what if he doesn't give me my shirt back,"_ Peeta asks defensively._

"Dude, it's a gym shirt. You'll survive."

_His lips pucker for a moment in distaste, but before he can completely object I turn back to Gale, flashing a thumbs up._

"_Come on," I say, "We'll take you to get the shirt." _

"_Uh, oh okay... tell him... thanks," Gale says cautiously, looking taken back by the sight before him. I sometimes forget people outside of our close-knit group aren't used to Peeta's unique circumstances._

_The bell rings and with the situation being taken care of, Finnick, Johanna and Madge take off in different directions, leaving me to keep the awkwardness between this odd group at bay. _

"_I don't think I caught your name," Gale says on our walk down to the gymnasium, jamming his hands in his pockets._

"_Katniss."_

"_Catnip?" he asks, trying not to sound too surprised._

"_What?"_

"_What?"_

_I can't help but laugh at the ever-growing red that stains his cheeks and how quickly he turns away from me, flustered._

"He thought my name was Catnip,"_ I snicker, filling in Peeta who lets out a quiet chortle, glancing up at Gale right as he downcasts his gaze to Peeta._

_I wait until Peeta disappears into the gymnasium to inform him of my actual name, which causes us both to erupt into laughter._

_After he changes and is about to head separate ways from Peeta and I, he thanks us once more before throwing his hand up in a goodbye._

"_See you later, Catnip."_

_This Gale kid might not be so bad._

* * *

"Yeah," he responds to my remark. "Besides the people anyways. Rory seems to be getting a long with them better here."

Rory is one of Gale's three younger siblings who is in the same grade as Prim. Prim sort of took Rory under her wing, introduced him to her group of friends and helped him find all his classes. I'm sure in Gale and Rory's eyes it was innocent kindness, but little do they know she comes home talking about _Rory Hawthorne _every night.

I call her his little stalker, just to piss her off.

"And what about you?" I question as we stop in the center of the hall. "Are _you_ seeming to get along with the people better here?"

His expression lifts up into a shy grin, "Yeah, I'm enjoying the company I've made so far."

"You complete us," I tease and he releases a carefree laugh.

"So...is um, Madge seeing anyone?" he asks clumsily, now that we're on the subject. "Like, her and Finnick, they're not a-"

"Oh _god!"_

"What?"

"No!"

"No? Uh, no they aren't dating?"

"Oh _god!"_

"I'm just asking!"

I snort, shaking my head furiously. "No, far from. Good friends, that's all. Wait...why?"

"Why, what?"

"Why did you want to know?" I question, my eyes narrowing knowingly.

"Just wondering," he shrugs, playing it off cooly. "So good friends, huh? Kind of like you and Peeta?"

_Not like Peeta and I, _I immediately think but just nod in his direction slightly.

"You and Peeta man... you guys go way back, don't you?"

I nod hesitantly, wondering if Johanna or Finnick have told him about Peeta and I, or if this is information he's just hearing _around._

"I kind of figured... you guys are close. You have that air about you," he chuckles awkwardly.

"What does that mean?" I question a little harsher than I intend, but he puts his hands up in defense quickly.

"I don't know, your relationship is just a little intimidating."

"How so?"

"You know when you go somewhere and everyone is speaking in a different language? Then they kind of look at you and laugh and you just _know _they're talking about you?"

"Yes..."

"That's you and Peeta."

"Fuck you, Gale," I say but can't help snickering as he bursts into laughter.

"You're laughing because you know it's true."

I can't deny he's right, there are times Peeta and I are laughing at other's expense. But it's not like we're the only people who do it.

We just have the luxury of not caring _where_ we do it.

* * *

_December 2012_

"The sooner we get Peeta back here, the better,"I say in Johanna and Gale's direction as I help them carry stacks of the new flyers into the school on our way back from lunch. They made the mistake of asking how Finnick and my visit went.

"What happened?" Johanna grunts, balancing the papers and her book bag while fighting to lock her car door.

"It just looks like a fucking jail. That, or an asylum. Everything is so _different."_

They listen patiently as we make our way to Johanna's locker where we dump the stacks of papers down and they turn their attention to me.

"Not to mention Peeta's newest _friend," _I grumble. "I don't get a good feeling about her. I mean you'd think someone who wants to be friends with Peeta would at least attempt to be _civil _to his other friends! She just acted like a little twat-"

"-Wait, I'm sorry... are you talking shit about a _deaf girl?"_ Gale asks, eyebrows raised in disbelief and Johanna snickers.

I scoff in his direction at his ability to make it sound ten times worse than it _actually _is.

"You don't understand," I try getting out, "She's _such_ a bitch."

This only sends them into another round of chuckles.

"Oh, Catnip. _Wow."_

"Insulting deaf people," Johanna shakes her head, "Personal low, Kat."

I roll my eyes at them, adjusting my bag higher on my shoulder.

"Whatever, I wish you could just see it for yourself. She was just staring at me like I was the devil or something. Like I'm doing something wrong."

"Well, are you?" Johanna questions.

"I don't fucking know!" I hiss, growing more and more annoyed. "Peeta's never said anything to me before if I am."

They shrug, almost in unison, unsure of what to say next. It's alright, I don't want them to say anything anyway because I'm not finished bitching about _Delilah Cartwright._

"And you guys should _see_ the way she looks at Peeta," I groan, "It's disgusting."

"What do you mean?" Gale asks.

"It was like a damn porno up in there!" I say, recalling the way her shirt hardly covered the tits that were threatening to pop out right into Peeta's face. It took all my energy to keep myself from ripping her perfect blonde hair out strand by strand.

"She wants to fuck Peeta, it's embarrassing how obvious it is!" I continue on, unable to stop, "I mean, she couldn't wait to jump in the middle of our conversation and-what?"

I stop mid-sentence to see Johanna fighting-and failing-to hold back a round of giggles as her and Gale eyed each other with some sort of secrecy written on their clamped lips.

"Nothing," Gale shakes his head. "What were you saying?"

I glance between the two of them a couple more times with narrowed eyes before sighing dramatically.

"Never mind."

* * *

As the day continues on, I think back to Johanna and Gale's teasing words, wondering if maybe I had over reacted to the situation at Peeta's new school too harshly.

There's no doubt in my mind his new friend doesn't like me, and I've never been one to take unneeded pity on people. In my mind, her having a hearing disability didn't give her an automatic free bitching card.

And it certainly didn't give her _Peeta. _

Before I walk into chemistry, I tape a new flyer on the door, replacing the old one that was torn down this morning.

We couldn't believe our eyes when we walked through the school's main doors to find not a single poster left over. They weren't even in the trashcan or recycling bin they were just _gone._

_It's over, _was my first thought, but then Johanna got the idea to make newer, bigger posters to throw it in Snow's face, and of course we immediately agreed.

"_Aren't you supposed to be organizing this rebellion?" _she teased, pointing a finger in my direction.

She's right. I suck at this.

Cato is waiting for me in Peeta's chair and my skin crawls at the way his eyes trail over my form. I could have sworn him and Glimmer were seeing one another...

Not that that means a damn thing.

"Still trying to get that kid back?" he asks, though his voice shows no concern in it.

I nod.

"When are you going to give it a rest?"

"When he's sitting next to me, not you."

This makes Cato chuckle and he shakes his head, his arms crossing over one another on the table in front of us.

"If you're going to laugh just keep it to yourself," I mutter, "But if you want to help you can sign this petition."

I slide it across the table at him and see his pen scribbling madly.

When he slides it back there's a picture of a poorly drawn dick, his number and a winking face. I turn back to him with disgust and he smirks toothily.

"For when you're ready to move on."

* * *

"We have to go back to Peeta's school for lunch sometime," Finnick attempts to be smooth as we walk out to the parking lot after school. I chance a glance his way and notice a goofy grin plastered on his lips, his eyes glazed over.

All he's talked about for the past three hours is Annie Cresta, a girl Peeta goes to school with and who was sitting at his table earlier. Finnick was rather _shocked_ at the amount of pretty girls who are just a county over.

"_Well damn, no wonder Peeta's in no hurry to get back!"_

"_He is too," _I frowned, and smacked his arm rougher than I intend when his mouth fell open for the second time in three minutes.

The girls _were_ pretty there, and possibly their fortunate looks are half the reason for my sour attitude, especially toward Ms. Tits-Out-All-The-Time-Cartwright.

_Why did she have to be so..._ _fortunate looking? _I find my mind screaming in question. With her full, curvy figure and pouty lips and that naturally wispy hair and those damn eyes...

Those big, wide, blue eyes that were practically begging Peeta to take her there on the table if he so pleased.

"That Annie girl," Finnick continues, oblivious to my inner turmoil. He leans up against my car with a dreamy sigh. "Did you _see_ her?"

"Give it a rest," I spit out, "Not only is she _completely_ out of your league, but you can say maybe _three words_ in sign language."

"Bitch, I'm working on it," he speaks defensively, though his lips turn up into a smile. "Plus, that's where you come in."

"What are you talking about?" I question, rubbing my temples, tiredly wondering where the hell Prim is.

"Well, I was _thinking_ if you wanted, maybe you could teach me some sign language."

"No."

His hopeful expression wilts, "Why the fuck not?"

"Because Finnick, you have the attention span of a gnat! And what happens when you move onto a different girl and begin crushing on her? All that time spent will be for nothing."

"Not for nothing," he frowns dramatically. "I could talk with Peeta more."

"You don't want to learn it for Peeta, you want to learn it for Annie. Don't guilt me."

"Come on, Kat. I won't give up on it, I promise! Just a little bit at a time?"

"What exactly do you plan to do, hmm?" I ask, exasperatedly.

"Woo her with my incredibly good looks and charm of course."

I can't help but snicker quietly at his words, which has his face erupting into a full-blown grin again.

"Come on Katniss, please?" he practically begs, cracking my tough exterior.

"Fine Finnick, I will teach you a little sign language, but I swear to god if you quit-" Before I can finish he's pulling me into his arms for a hug, thanking me not once but twice.

"Hey, if you could learn it, it can't be that hard," he winks, before his expression turns serious. "But uh... lets keep this between you and me for a while, alright?"

"Sure," my voice comes out monotone as I pull my phone out from my pocket to find out where Prim is. I have three messages from her, saying she went home with Gale and Rory.

I need to learn to check my damn phone _before _I sit around waiting for her ass for ten minutes.

"Just in case it _doesn't _work out," he chuckles awkwardly.

"It's not that hard," I say, feeling a little bad for giving him such a hard time. "If you can just focus, it'll work out. But I promise not to say anything about it until you give me the word. It'll be our little secret."

His smile turns lopsided as he pats my shoulder, "Thanks, Kat. I owe you one."

"Yeah, you do. A _big_ one. I'll put it on your tab."

He snorts as I type a short reply back to Prim before his body language changes along with the subject.

"Hey, did you see that Delly girl today?" Finnick asks. I look up at him after pressing the send button curiously. "Totally wants to bang Peeta."

"Thank you!" I exclaim, throwing my arms up in the air. Finally someone to reassure me I haven't gone completely _crazy. _"I definitely noticed that, too."

"I don't even know sign language yet and I could see it," he snickers.

"Johanna and Gale made me feel like shit for mentioning anything, but I tried explaining to them if they had just _seen_ her-"

"Damn, if they could have _seen her,"_ Finnick speaks, his tone completely different from my harsh and icy one. "Maybe Peeta will get lucky."

"What does that mean?" I snap and he shrugs.

"Who knows? Maybe Peeta will end up with her. She's super hot and obviously into him-"

"-You're forgetting she's a super _bitch," _I add, my grip on my keys tightening, to which he laughs.

"I think you're blowing things a little out of proportion there, Kat."

"You said so yourself you don't speak sign, Finnick," I bite at him, falling into my car and rolling down the windows. His eyes are bright with knowledge, though I'm not sure of _what kind. _

"Just saying, maybe it'd be a good thing. Unless... you think it wouldn't be for some reason," his voice is hedging in a way I don't like, and I know I should leave before I take back my promise of helping him or say something I'll later regret.

"It's _not," _I call out through the window before speeding off.

* * *

I head straight to the bakery from school and arrive before Peeta, though I'm not surprised. His route isn't so direct anymore.

Mr. Mellark is there when I walk in, but has to run to cash a check at the bank before it closes.

"Sorry I can't stay to talk, Katniss," he says sincerely, hand already on the door. "I'll see you tonight?"

"I'll be there," I smile and he returns it freely before slipping through the door.

It's actually nice having time to myself at the bakery in between school and Peeta's arrival. I slip into the back room to grab an apron and wash my hands, trying to think about anything but the conversation I had less than twenty minutes ago with Finnick.

Part of me knows he said all those things to get a reaction out of me, to teasingly rile me up, but the other part - the less secure section of my mind - can't help but know his teasing words are _true._

I feel like that seventh grader again, embarrassed to enter the cafeteria in fear of ridicule and whispers. I glance down at my body below me and sigh.

I still look like a twelve-year-old boy. Not a curve in sight and although I wear a bra now I'm definitely not _Delly._

My thoughts are cut short with the sound of the door swishing open. Peeta smiles happily in my direction, an extra bounce in his step as he moves past me to grab an apron of his own.

"_How was the rest of your day?" _he questions, wiping his clammy hands on the linen. _"You guys made mine by visiting. I was excited for you to meet everyone, I'm always talking about you," _he smiles, his cheeks turning slightly pink.

"_I'm happy I came, too," _I say with an expression I hope is reassuring. _"It was interesting, seeing the school in person."_

I need to switch gears before he brings up his friends and possibly asks what I think of Delly. I know I can't answer right now, not without being mean and that'll only hurt his feelings.

"_How did you like the flyers?" _

"_They looked great," _Peeta smiles enthusiastically. _"Did you guys put them up around school?"_

I nod, forcing a smile to my lips, _"Yeah, they're all over. Hopefully they're there tomorrow."_

"_Hopefully," _Peeta agrees with a nod.

"_Some more people signed the petition," _I mention to him when he grows silent for a moment. His eyes widen in disbelief, but his lips dance with a grin.

"_That's great!"_

"_Yeah, except you'll never guess what happened."_

"_What?"_

I pull out the petition sheet and show him Cato's entry, clad with genitalia and winking face. I watch Peeta's face to gauge his reaction and watch as his lips twitch up into a large grin before laughter pours from his lips.

"_Oh man, this is too good," _Peeta signs in between laughter.

It's the kind that has him holding onto the countertop for support and allows me a glimpse into the voice that I seldom hear. His laughter comes out low and husky, and completely contagious.

It turns slightly erratic before halting all together abruptly, so much so that he lets out a soft gasp. His cheeks flood with color as his hand dances over his lips.

Peeta's always been insecure about his voice, having never heard it. There are times when I'm sure he has no idea he's even made a noise; like when he grunts in the morning sitting up for the first time or his soft snickers every now and then. But when he laughs like this, he can feel the vibrations down his throat and he knows.

And he gets very embarrassed.

"_I'm sorry," _he signs several seconds later, his hand trailing back over his throat immediately after.

"_Don't be, I like it," _I say honestly, hoping to play the situation off as nothing too serious. It takes several minutes for his face and neck and even fingertips to return to their normal color and for him to face me again.

"_He really drew a dick?" _Peeta asks when he's finished feeling embarrassed, a shy smile playing on his lips as he turns his attention back to the forgotten piles of dough that lay hardening on the counter top.

"_He really drew a dick. I think it represents him: small and poorly constructed."_

Today is slow, though there's no reason in particular. The sun is actually out, although tucked behind a gray cloud every once in a while and it's the first day it hasn't snowed all week. Peeta and I don't mind much; we spend the time restocking a couple of the breads and sneaking cookies from the display.

Peeta snickers softly to himself, dilemma completely forgotten about, and tosses the dough in the air a couple times before placing it on a tray and rubbing oils and butters over the top of it, sprinkling it with garlic as a finishing touch.

"_What did he think that would accomplish? Wait, isn't he dating Glimmer?"_

"_That's what I thought! Guess not."_

"_What the hell, everything is off balance!" _he teases, stumbling to the side a little as he crosses the bakery to place the tray into the oven. He presses the dials and frees his hand of the mitt before turning back to me a moment later.

His crystal blue eyes bore into my own, and his plastered smile falters just slightly as we lock gazes and he steps closer to me.

"_Someone has to save me from him," _I sign to him in time with my whispers. He's no more than a few inches in front of me. _"You need to come back."_

He's so close I can feel his breath on my forehead when he presses my thick bangs out of my eyes with his smooth thumb, resting his hand off to the side of my face just a moment longer than usual.

"_I'm trying."_

* * *

"Hey Katniss, check this out," Rye says to me as we stand in the Mellark's kitchen later that night. He takes three oranges and begins juggling them, a look of pure joy and self-admiration crossing his features.

"I'm doing it! I'm doing it!"

It's well after eight o'clock, and I'm placing the last dinner dish into the dishwasher, no help to Rye. Bannock insists I don't need to do dishes, but I eat here nearly every other night, it's the least I can do to help Mr. Mellark.

Peeta and I barely made it back to his house in time to catch dinner with the rest of his family. Directly after closing up the bakery, we had met up with Johanna, Finnick, Gale and Madge to litter the town with flyers, leaving some in every shop that would allow it and stapling or taping them to nearby poles.

Of course no one had an issue with us leaving the flyers in their shops. With it being a small town, Peeta and his family is well known and liked. Everyone was happy to do what they could to help and now there's not a main street you can now pass without seeing one of Peeta's posters.

"Nice job," I speak a second too soon as something hits the floor with a thud.

"Fuck."

He tosses me one of the ones he hasn't dropped and I begin peeling it automatically, tearing back the fresh fruit and popping it past my lips.

"Where's Peeta?" Rye grumbles, "He always leaves right when it's time to do chores, lazy ass."

"I think he's doing homework, Rye," Bannock says, shooting his brother a disapproving look. "Which is more than you can say for yourself."

When I head up the stairs, they're still bickering back and forth which makes me giggle.

Peeta's door is only cracked open slightly, which has me wondering if he doesn't want anyone to enter, seeing as he'd only use his door for privacy, not sound control.

I open it just slightly and stick my head inside. He sits hunched on his bed, a pencil hanging out his mouth as he rubs his chin thoughtfully, looking something over with intense eyes.

It's only when I stick my head in further I notice he has an earbud inside his ear facing away from me, and he's listening to music.

When I emerge completely from the hallway, Peeta glances up at me with a smile, patting the spot next to him for me to join.

I jump onto the bottom of his bed, sitting across from him cross-legged and watch as he turns back to his math homework with a perplexed expression. His eyebrows are furrowed in a way that creates tight lines along his forehead and nose.

Math has always been one of Peeta's favorite subjects, because it was one of the only ones he could basically understand without any interpretation.

"_Numbers are numbers are numbers," _he had said in the past when I asked why on God's green earth he liked _math._

"_They don't change."_

Peeta catches me staring and stops tapping his pencil against the side of his paper instantly, doing a double take in my direction.

"_No homework tonight?" _he asks. We always do our homework together.

"_I hate Delly."_

My comment takes both of us off guard and his eyes widen into saucers. I hadn't meant to bring this subject up in this particular manner, but it just sort of slipped.

"_You... hate her? What happened?" _Peeta asks, genuinely confused, but now I just feel like an ass and wish I could back track to where I hadn't mentioned anything at all.

"_Nothing happened," _I sign in frustration, sick and tired of people asking me, but once again I suppose it's no one's fault but my own for continuing to bring it up.

"_Katniss, just tell me."_

"_She's just so... sexy!" _I say after a long pause, and Peeta looks up at me with a completely oblivious expression that makes me roll my eyes. _"Oh come on, Peeta. I know you aren't blind- she was practically shoving her tits down your face."_

His perplexed expression is replaced with a timid smirk as he continues to watch me make a bigger idiot of myself, unwilling to stop me.

"_I mean those things must have cushioned the blow of the move quite a bit," _I say in self-hatred.

"_Aww Katniss, are you jealous?" _Peeta asks, his smile growing wider.

"_Of her? No."_

"_I think you are!"_

"_Peeta, shut the hell up."_

"_It's okay Katniss, you know I like your tits best," _he speaks, his grin unable to be erased at this point. _"Plus, I think it's cute that you're jealous."_

"_I am not!" _I insist. Of course I'm not _jealous, _although my earlier conversations with Johanna, Gale and Finnick become ever present in my mind with his words. The way Johanna and Gale were unable to stop laughing as I bitched about Delly, and Finnick's accusations.

Now Peeta.

"_I just think she's up to something is all," _I sniff, crossing my arms, and Peeta pulls me into his with all his effort.

"_I'll be leaving soon anyway, so what does it matter?"_

His words calm me for the time being, but as night grows later and eventually Peeta drifts off to sleep, snoring in my ear softly, I'm left to sort out my ever-present thoughts on my own.

And none of them end happily.

* * *

Hi everyone, hope you enjoyed the double-update week! I'm sorry I wasn't able to respond to many of your reviews from chapter seven but I had just started when my beta sent me the corrections for ch.8 and we decided it would be fun to do a double update, so hope I'm forgiven! Just know the feedback was definitely appreciated and as always, I enjoy hearing from all of you! I'll respond this time around :)

I'm still **ivegotthesclaf **over on tumblr if you'd like to follow me! Link to my page on my profile here on FF. Thanks!


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Thanks so much to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter!

* * *

**Chapter Nine: In Which There is Doubt**

* * *

_August 2007_

It's a sticky day when Peeta and I explore the woods that separate my house from his own. Peeta trails behind me, crushing _every single _twig that crosses his path and panting loudly with exertion.

I eye him with annoyance as he stumbles over a nonexistent branch and fumbles into me with a thud.

"_Peeta, you stink at exploring," _I accuse, and his flushed face turns to me with confusion as he fights to gain his breath. He tugs open his water bottle and takes a long swig before eyeing me more defensively.

"_Do not. You told me this was going to be a relaxing walk through the woods, not a freakin' trek! You're practically sprinting."_

"_No, you're just a slow walker."_

"_Sorry," _he apologizes, running a hand through his sweaty mess of hair and I sigh, a wave of guilt washing over me. Peeta never claimed to be particularly fond of the outdoors and I already know for a fact he gets extra nervous in unfamiliar situations.

"_I'm sorry," _I say a second later, patting his cheek with my own hand. His breathless face turns up into a timid smile.

"_Let's take a break," _I say, brushing moss off a low, but flat rock a couple steps away. He follows my lead and falls down onto the rock with a deep and relieved sigh.

"_I just need a couple of minutes," _he promises, his ragged breathing seeming to quiet down the longer we stay seated. _"What are we looking for, anyway?"_

"_Nothing, really."_

"_Nothing?!" _he questions, a look of horror crossing his face so quickly I actually laugh. _"You dragged me out here for nothing?"_

"_Not _nothing," I differentiate, _"Just nothing in particular. We're just... exploring. It's fun."_

"_Easy for you to say, you're not carrying the twenty-pound backpack." _

"_Don't be dramatic, it just has a couple things inside," _I retort, pulling a package of gummy bears from outside. The only things I had packed were a couple snacks, a notepad and pencil, some flashlights and a magnifying glass.

Peeta snorts, a low sound that erupts from the back of his throat, just barely slipping past his lips. His voice, from the little I've heard of it, has begun changing just slightly. No longer do his short laughs and sighs sound like a... child, but rather a developing man.

It's weird.

I find myself wondering, not for the first time, if Peeta has ever talked before. I begin to fantasize about what my name might sound like if he spoke it, or how he'd describe the perfect sunset he always struggles to explain with his hands. I wonder how he'd pronounce words like 'bagel' or 'orange' or-

"_What are you thinking about?" _Peeta asks me, nudging my shoulder gently. I jump and turn to him with slightly warmer cheeks before shrugging nonchalantly.

"_Must have been something. You seemed very... intent."_

"_Can I ask you something without you getting mad?" _I question, my hands moving without permission. Immediately, I wish I could take it back. He eyes me curiously; his turned-up lips faltering just slightly before he nods.

"_Sure... what do you want to know?"_

I'm quiet, turning my head in the other direction in embarrassment.

"_Can you... speak?"_

His face grows stone cold and his hands fiddle with one another for a long moment, his eyes staring off past me. Long after the conversation has died he shakes his head tersely from left to right.

"_You just never learned?"_

"_Kind of hard when you have no idea what sound is like," _his expression isn't biting, though his words seem it. _"I wouldn't even know how to begin speaking."_

"_Some deaf people can speak," _I mention, gently. _"That's the only reason I asked."_

"_I can't," _he says with a final shrug, leaving me more curious than before to earn more of his carefree laughter or exaggerated breaths. After a couple more minutes of silence, Peeta and I wordlessly decide its time to continue our hike.

"_Katniss, can you do me a favor?" _he asks, as we walk at a much slower pace than earlier.

"_Sure," _I say, expecting him to need another break sooner rather than later and practicing my nice expressions for when he asks.

"_If I ever... you know, _do_ make noise, will you tell me?"_

I turn to him curiously, eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You know what I mean," _he replies flatly, and of course I do. I just feel like I can't agree to something I know I won't follow through on.

"_Why?"_

He sighs in annoyance, letting one large breath pass his lips before his tongue darts out to lick them.

"_Because," _he answers lamely, _"Just, can you do that for me?"_

I note the unmistakable look of desperation that crosses his face and soften the expression on my own, slumping my shoulders just slightly.

"_I like it, you know."_

His tinted face and neck darken and he adverts his gaze to the crispy leaves below us. It takes both my hands landing on either side of his warm cheeks and forcibly turning his gaze upward for him to make eye contact with me.

"_I promise."_

* * *

_December 2012_

With ninety-nine signatures added to Peeta's petition, fire has definitely caught on and continues to spread rapidly about the stand we've decided to take against the school. Surprisingly, more and more people seem to jump on board with each passing day.

The final bell rings signaling school is out for the weekend. We have just one more full week of school left until our much-needed Christmas vacation.

If Snow is planning some kind of attack against us for the flyers we put up several days ago, he's biding his time. I'd liken the school's halls to a sort of calm before the storm; no real sign of retaliation nor retreat in sight.

Almost all our posters still hang in every classroom doorway and scattered about on walls and lockers, only the occasional stray floats along the ground. I've even seen some tucked away inside student's lockers, pinned up with other important things like pictures and dry erase boards with their schedules, as if to personally show they support the cause.

People are beginning to take the petition and our plea for help a little more seriously.

"Thank you," I say as I get our one-hundredth signature, grinning like an idiot as the girl quickly walks away to catch up with her friends.

_I'm sure Peeta will be thrilled to hear, _my brain speaks to me on autopilot, though I still feel a creep of doubt running through me thinking of Finnick's earlier words about Peeta not being too concerned with coming back.

_Of course he is, _I chide myself. _He'll be over the moon tonight when I tell him._

Johanna invited us all over, as she does often to hang out and talk a little more about other ideas we might have for the "rebellion" as they put it. She's paranoid Snow is planning something _big, _like catastrophic, right before break to completely silence and end our plans.

I think she's over reacting, because we've seen his worst and personally I'm not too worried about him tearing down our posters. But Johanna has an uncanny ability when it comes to sensing things, so when she begins to wig out, the others follow her lead.

She's so much better at leading a rebellion than I am.

"How's it going?" Finnick creeps up behind me, his breath in my ear. I whip my head around so quickly my braid smacks me in the face, stinging my cheek a little. Finnick snort-chuckles at what he's just witnessed.

"Got my one-hundredth signature!" I speak in a sing-song voice, waving the paper around in my hand. Finnick holds his up for a high-five, which I return before shutting my locker.

"What time are you going to Johanna's?"

"Probably not too long after I leave here. I just have to drop Prim off at home. Oh, and Peeta is going to meet me at my house to carpool over, so I guess I have to wait for his lazy ass."

Finnick snorts, "All right. Steal some cookies from the bakery to bring."

"Will do, Captain," I reply, saluting him before he turns toward the main doors, snickering.

I see Prim floating down the hallway and decide to just wait here for her. She's clad tightly between two boys; one being Rory, the other God only knows who. Both are fighting for her attention (Rory of course is winning) and laugh wholeheartedly at whatever mediocre joke she's just told.

She fingers a long blonde curl that snakes down her shoulder and waves flirtatiously to both boys before her playful, somewhat dreamlike, expression turns to shock at the sight of me.

"What are you doing in here?"

"Watching my sister be an idiot."

"You usually wait by the car," she says, ignoring my previous statement.

"I thought you liked Rory."

"Uh...I do?"

"Then who the hell was that other guy?"

"A friend?" she says it more as a question than a direct answer, sarcasm heavy in her reply. "You have a ton of guy friends in which you are typically walking down the hall with at the same time, you do realize."

"Not a ton."

"More than enough."

"Just don't be that girl, ok? Make your reputation something you won't regret in ten years."

"Says the girl who has a guy in her bed every night," Prim smirks, opening the passenger door of the car.

"Completely different, and you know it."

"Uh-huh," she says, unconvinced, rolling her eyes when I motion for her to buckle her seatbelt. "Maybe I'll just start having Rory over..."

"Peeta and I don't fuck," I spit. The warmness that spreads to my cheeks begins crawling down my neck.

"Only a matter of time," she grumbles under her breath.

"_What?" _

"Nothing. Jeez, Kat calm down. It's Friday, you shouldn't be so wound up."

"I'm sorry," I say sincerely, pulling out of the school's parking lot and onto the main road. I have been wound up these past couple of weeks and Prim really has been a good sport about the whole thing. Between the anger and frustration and sadness and happiness, I'm sure my mood swings have been uncontrollable as of late.

"Things will be better-"

"Will be better once Peeta is back, I know. I know. And believe me, I care. I've been telling all my friends to sign that petition."

"Thank you."

Prim smiles just slightly before opening the passenger door and climbing out. I follow her lead, figuring I'll wait for Peeta inside rather than waste gas to keep the car warm out here.

There's a note written in Mom's neat script lying flat on the counter top which Prim snatches while chugging a glass of lemonade from the fridge.

"Primrose," she reads aloud, feigning Mom's voice (badly, mind you), "Please clean the dishes and start the laundry before I get home from work this evening. Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada," she frowns, moving her hand like a mouth in time with her words.

She looks to me with large, pleading eyes and a sly smile, "Will you help me?"

I see Peeta's car pull up in the front of the house through the window and shoot a sympathetic frown her way.

"Sorry, I can't. Peeta and I have plans at Johanna's."

"It's okay," she says, downing the last of her drink before wishing me a good evening. She mentions something about having plans later as well and I tell her to be safe.

"Make good choices."

"Yada, yada, yada."

Peeta is waiting by my car when I emerge from the house and his smile increases fully when he sees me.

"_Hey!" _he greets as I unlock the car door and we slide inside. His enthusiasm is contagious and I find myself grinning alongside him.

"_Wow, what has you so happy this afternoon?" _I ask, before starting the car up. _"I know you missed me, but damn."_

He laughs, a breathily noise and nods his head in agreement, _"Well, I did miss you, but I have good news!"_

"_Which is?"_

"_We were invited to one of my friends from school's house tonight!" _he relates excitedly. I can tell he's waiting for my expression to match his, but I'm sure my raised eyebrows and painted on smile comes across artificial.

"_Oh, tonight? Peeta, you realize we're just on our way to Johanna's, right?" _

His smile falters just slightly, but he's still nodding his head, _"Yeah, I know. But, we don't have to stay there all night, do we?"_

We usually do. Friday nights are dedicated to hanging out with our friends, and although lately our visits with one another have been focused on preparations for getting Peeta back, tonight we had plans to watch a movie afterwards.

I don't respond for a long time and instead back down the driveway, turning off the street. He's quiet too, and stares at me while I drive, until he grows bored of me not meeting his gaze and turns to the window.

We're at a red light - not just any red light but the one known for being _slow - _when I feel his hand land on my leg gently.

"_You don't have to come with me if you don't want to," _he says, expressionless. _"I just thought... well, maybe it'd be fun."_

"_Whose house is it at?"_

The way he doesn't immediately respond says it all.

"_Delly, but it's not like she's the only one who will be there," _he's quick to explain. _"Plus, I think you guys just got off on the wrong foot, that's all. She's really nice, and whenever I talk about you she doesn't seem to have a problem with you."_

"_So you think I'm making it up?" _

"_No, I don't... but... well, never mind. We don't have to go, I guess." _

The light is still fucking red and after a quick glance up at it I turn to him with a heavy sigh/grunt combination.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I say out loud, which over the years has somewhat become my version of talking in my mind. I tap his shoulder and he turns to me with an emotionless face, licking his bottom lip just slightly.

"_We can go."_

"_I don't want to _force _you, I just thought it'd be fun. Kind of like, we'd both be fully involved in the conversations, you know?" _he says with a wistful smile that makes me feel guilty for snapping.

"_Not that I don't feel involved," _he corrects almost instantly. _"It'd just be fun to, you know, talk _with _you in a group, not have you be my translator."_

"_I understand."_

"_But we don't have to go. I didn't give her a direct answer anyways. I told her I'd talk with you, because I'm not sure I'm comfortable going alone yet," _he speaks shyly.

"_We can go, but we have to stay at Jo's for at least an hour or so. She misses you," _I get out right before the light _finally _turns green.

I watch him nod fervently through my peripheral vision.

* * *

Johanna isn't nearly as bummed about us leaving as I anticipate. In fact, she seems somewhat excited as I explain we're going to hang out with people from Peeta's school.

"Is Annie going?" Finnick asks, suddenly very curious in what we're talking about and not his game of cards with Gale (who's winning).

"Is that Delly girl going?" Johanna asks right after, and I opt to ignore Finnick's consistent inquisition and turn to her with a terse nod.

"It's at her house," I grumble, watching as Peeta slides to his ass on the ground to slip on his sneakers. Johanna lets out a snort, shaking her head.

"Play nicely."

"Yes, Mom."

"Text me later," she says right as Finnick belts out for me to mention him tonight.

"And not in an asshole way, in a 'he's a cool guy' way."

I roll my eyes before jabbing a finger in his direction, "Keep your phone on, just in case I need an escape plan."

"Mention me," he demands stubbornly and I roll my eyes before finally agreeing that _if _the right moment comes up I'll _try_ to mention his name.

"I'll be waiting for your text," he smirks, placing a card down without looking at it to which Gale replies with a string of profanities.

"All right, let me in this round!" Johanna hollers right before Peeta and I disappear behind the door.

It's at least ten degrees cooler with the sun down and a constant wind is howling once we're locked inside the warm car.

We end up backtracking by turning around to pick up Peeta's car at my house, but he has the directions to Delly's house and it's easier for him to just drive than try to direct me. I don't mention the other reason for having him drive is in case I decide to bail. No reason to put it in his mind before it even happens.

Plus, then if it _does_ happen he'll just accuse me of plotting it the entire time. Which, I guess I am.

But Peeta doesn't need to know that.

"_Thanks for coming with me," _Peeta says as we're walking slowly up the driveway of a rather large and well-kept home. It'd figure her family is fucking well off...

There are several cars in the driveway, but unlike parties I usually attend, there is no loud music blaring through the windows, nor littered beer cups on the lawn. In fact, it seems more like a "get together" than a party.

There's a note on the door that says to just come on in, so instead of ringing the doorbell off to the side, we push open their large oak door. It makes sense - if her parents aren't here, who'd hear anyway?

I doubt they are.

Peeta walks in after me, like _he's _the weird one in this situation. Like _he _wasn't technically invited, and I resist the urge to push him in front of me.

We slip off our shoes where a large pile of them sit near the door and follow an expensive-looking trail of marbled tile flooring until it pours out into the kitchen, where the woman I assume to be Mrs. Cartwright stands with a plate of treats.

I guess she is here...

She smiles widely at our faces and drops the plate on the island counter in the center of the room.

"_Hello!" _she begins signing, _"Everyone is right in the living room."_

"I can hear," I test, and she looks a little taken back, her eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Oh, uh..."

"My friend, Peeta," I say, pointing to him behind me. "He's in Delly's class."

"_Oh." _

"I'm just the support tonight," I tease, earning a chuckle. "It's his first party with his friends from this school."

"_Peeta, you said?"_ she asks with her lips and hands. When we nod her smile increases significantly. _"Yes! The new boy in class. Delly has mentioned you quite a bit."_

_Has _she now?

Speaking of the devil causes her to arrive in person. Delly floats into the kitchen with a wide grin at the sight of Peeta before wrapping him into her arms tightly.

"_Glad you found the place all right! Oh Mom, are those cookies finished?"_

Her Mother hands her the tray that she clasps in one hand, the other taking Peeta's and leading him into the living room. Peeta glances over his shoulder at me with wide eyes but what can I do but smile and wave in front of the witch's mother?

"Well, I think it's really kind of you to come with your friend, although it seems he's doing just fine on his own," she chuckles. "Do you speak sign?"

"Yes," I grit out. "Learned it back in the fifth grade."

"Fifth grade, that's interesting," she says in a way that has me thinking she's sincerely interested. Mrs. Cartwright seems nothing like her daughter, who gave me a bad feeling upon first meeting her and so far has done nothing to change that.

It's just hard for me to trust the woman who birthed and raised _Delilah._

"Yeah, well, Peeta and I have been friends since second grade, by fifth I realized I wasn't shaking him and should learn a more efficient way of communication than a piece of paper and pen."

She laughs airily at that, almost in disbelief, shaking her head.

"That's really amazing, you know."

I shrug, realizing I should watch how much information I share with this woman. She doesn't seem like the vindictive type, but I can visualize her chatting with Delly later and relaying the information from pure ignorance.

"Well, I'll let you go join them. I'm actually heading out, I promised Delly I wouldn't hang around. She hates that."

I force a smile before waving goodbye to Mrs. Cartwright and watching as she exits the large doors Peeta and I slipped through just moments ago.

I breathe heavily, wishing I had some alcohol and Finnick. Actually, at this point I'd even take Johanna or Gale.

_Calm down, Everdeen. You've only been here twenty minutes. _

I really hope Finnick keeps his phone near him.

When I make my way into the spacious living room, I can feel several pairs of unfamiliar eyes land on me. Most flutter away within a second or two, but a couple stray and I try to ignore them as I search for Peeta.

He's sitting wedged between Delly and the side of the couch, and her eyes bore into mine the second I approach, casting a shadow as I stand over them.

"_There's really not a lot of room over here," _she says, curling her bottom lip over just slightly. Peeta fidgets for a moment, attempting to make even a small spot for me to squeeze into, but the task is impossible with Delly refusing to move.

"_No worries," _I smirk back, feigning obliviousness to her scheme and settling down right on top of Peeta's lap. The way her eyes widen and cheeks burn red has me knowing her little plan has completely backfired.

I feel Peeta stiffen below me for a second, but as he relaxes he snakes his hands around my stomach resting them in a ball on my lap, furthering to enrage his little friend.

"_What are you chatting about?" _I ask, looking more to Peeta than Delly. I notice beyond her the way some people stare at Peeta and I curiously but turn quickly once they catch my gaze.

On the table next to Peeta are some of Mrs. Cartwright's cookies and Delly's eyes narrow as I bite into one, still waiting for an answer.

"_Just school things," _Delly answers before Peeta can raise his hands. _"You'd probably find it boring, actually."_

I play dumb, because this bitch is going to have to learn it'll take a tad more than boredom to drive me away.

"_Oh, I wonder if you guys are in the same units we are?"_

"_Probably not."_

"_Some of the same things, actually," _Peeta says with a nod. _"Not in English, but we're in the same unit of math as you."_

"_We were talking about what we're going to do for our book report. We're partners, you know." _

Something about her words sting in a way I hadn't expected. Not only because Peeta has never had another partner than me, but because I was unable to be his partner for _our_ book report this year in English.

He hadn't had a partner back in Panem, but wrote an essay on his own, being unable to speak in front of the class. I'm sure it's my frown that pleases Delly enough to get a smirk out of her but I quickly feign interest to wipe it away.

"_That sounds fun."_

"_Not really," _Peeta shakes his head, oblivious, making my job much easier. _"We're reading _The Crucible, _which we already read back in Panem this year."_

"_Tough luck," _I smirk, flicking his nose with my fingertip, making his face scrunch.

"_Peeta, I wanted to play this game with you," _Delly says completely out of the blue, like all that had been on her mind for the past fifteen minutes was a way to get Peeta out of my grasp. Her hand lands in his and pulls on it as she stands.

I stand up to let him up and he smoothes out his jeans, eyeing me with an unreadable expression.

"_It _is_ a four player game and I already promised Thresh and Rue they could play," _Delly signs slowly, puckering her lips in concentration. _"You can play next round?" _

I shake my head and one hand at the same time, shuffling awkwardly on my feet.

"_No, it's cool, you guys go ahead and play."_

It's response enough for her and she's practically dragging Peeta away, but he resists.

"_Well, go on then," _I say, shooing him. His look of concern vanishes with a smile as he nods and disappears into the other room with Delly and a couple other people I assume to be this Thresh and Rue she speaks of.

Well shit, now what?

It's nearly nine o'clock, getting late enough where I could bail if I wanted to, but knew it'd be obvious to Peeta still. I'll need last at least another hour and a half for my ditching to be valid.

As my eyes roam the room, they land on Annie Cresta, who sits tucked in the corner with a couple other people. She's staring at me too and pats the seat next to her in signal for me to join her.

The leather squishes underneath me with my added pressure and Annie adjusts her position so she's facing me more fully, her head resting against the plush back cushions of the couch.

"You're Peeta's friend, right?" Annie speaks out loud, completely catching me off guard. She laughs at how my eyes must widen and I can't help it when my mouth opens and closes a couple of times.

"I can read lips," she explains. "Not one-hundred percent, so feel free to sign while you talk if you'd like."

"How'd you learn to do that?" I ask with my lips as well as my hands. I find myself speaking slower than I normally would, which she must catch onto because the corners of her lips tilt up just slightly.

"I haven't always been deaf," she says, playing with the edges of her natural waves.

"Always needed the hard gear," she says, pointing to her ears, which are both outlined with hearing devices. "But, it's just recent that my hearing is nearly shot. Within the last year or two."

I don't ask why, because it's none of my business nor the place to bring up something so personal, but I can only assume it's from illness. Peeta was born deaf due to the difficult labor and hard pregnancy his mother experienced, but other than birth defects the only causes of deafness I know is being around excessively loud music, illness or sometimes insane and unusual accidents.

Annie doesn't offer any anymore information on the matter, which tells me I was right not to ask. We talk for a long time about a plethora of things like what shampoo I use (_my hair is just so shiny) _to the flyers I was showing Peeta the other day.

"They're to help promote that he should be allowed back at Panem," I say, stopping the term _regular school _from falling past my lips.

"I think it's really cool," she says with a sincere smile.

"Really? A couple of the others seemed less than enthused about it. I mean, it's not only for Peeta, it's in behalf of all of you-"

"Wait, slow down or sign while you talk," Annie chuckles and I blush, having completely forgotten already in the moment.

"_Sorry," _I sign, whispering it to myself.

"Don't be," Annie insists, swatting at my arm playfully. She pulls her long red hair up in a hair tie, a couple stray pieces framing her face.

The conversation falls flat for a minute or two and we awkwardly filter our way in and out of the mindless chit chat the others have surrounding us. I think for a minute, about bringing up Finnick and how he's "such a cool guy" but when the opportunity presents itself, Annie is already turning to me, lips moving.

"So, Delly..." she says, a little too loudly for my liking. I don't think her parents are home anymore, but it could be awkward if they overheard us discussing their daughter in their home.

She senses my hesitation and wiggles her fingers knowingly.

"_Yeah," _I sign, catching onto her suggestion of switching over to sign language. _"Is she always such a bitch?"_

Annie snorts, biting her lip before leaning in closer to me, _"Delly, she can be a nice girl, but if she doesn't like you, damn she doesn't like you."_

"_Seems like she's that way with people she likes as well," _I say, looking in the direction of the door Peeta and her disappeared through what feels like hours ago. I glance at the clock on my phone.

_9:45pm. _Time is moving like a fucking snail.

"_Yeah, that's one thing I can't deny. Delly has never been one to half-ass things."_

"_Lucky me."_

"_Don't worry, I think she's more threatened then anything else by you."_

"_Because she wants to fuck Peeta."_

"_Well... yes." _

We exchange a smirk at the same moment Delly waltzes back into the room, followed shortly by Peeta and Thresh who are caught up in conversation upon entering.

Delly comes over to sit on the armrest of the large couch, closest to Annie who she smiles beamingly down at.

"_Peeta almost won, the little cheater," _she giggles. Unlike Peeta, she doesn't seem to be concerned with what her voice sounds like and lets her sighs and laughter flow freely past her lips.

"_He's very clever," _I agree and she actually nods in agreement. I suppose the one thing she_ can't _disagree with include praising Peeta.

"_I think he's having a lot of fun," _she mentions, more to Annie than me, but I don't miss how her eyes flicker up to mine every now and then.

"_Yeah, well he's fairly sociable," _Annie agrees with a shrug. _"I think it helps that you're here, Katniss."_

"_I don't know how much of a help I am," _I admit with an awkward chuckle.

"_Yeah, I mean he seems to be doing just fine on his own," _Delly chimes in, turning her head in his general direction right after she finishes her words.

"_He's barely even talked to you tonight," _she actually chuckles at me.

"_Delly, shut the hell up," _it's Annie who signs the four words I've been dying to tell her since we've met, and with them I officially approve of her as a possibility for Finnick. I'll have to be more proactive about teaching him sign from now on.

Delly seems taken back by Annie's sudden outburst (she doesn't seem like the type to get upset easily), and raises a hand to her chest in a dramatic way of showing hurt.

I don't care if its only twenty minutes past ten, I need to get the fuck out of here.

_Finnick, get me NOW. _I text him harshly, sending him directions to Delly's house right after. It takes less than a minute to receive the short reply from Finnick telling me he's on his way.

When my pocket buzzes with the message that he's outside, about fifteen minutes later, Annie and Delly are engaged in what appears to be a rather heated conversation I've opted to stay out of.

I want to just get up from the couch and sneak out the front door without anyone noticing, but now that Annie and I are becoming... friends, I suppose? I feel like I owe her at least a small acknowledgement of my leaving.

I nudge her shoulder and immediately her attention turns from Delly to me.

"_I'm heading out," _I say, unsure of what to do next. _"It was...nice talking with you tonight. Thanks."_

"_We should exchange numbers," _she insists, fishing her phone out of the small purse I hadn't even noticed that sits by her side. She fiddles around with a couple buttons then hands it to me to type in my phone number.

"_I'll text you now so you have mine," _she explains once I hand the phone back to her.

"_Okay," _I nod, and just a second later feel my own phone vibrate, though I'm not sure if it was a message from Annie with her number or Finnick being impatient.

"_Leaving already, Katniss?" _Delly asks, her expression disguised with fake sadness. _"Thanks for coming, glad you could make it."_

"_Yeah, thanks for the invitation," _I play nice, just like Jo chided me to, but when she nods smugly and mentions "to Annie" that if Peeta can't find a ride home he could always just _spend the night, _the urge to "play nice" vanishes and is replaced by a completely irrational but extremely present need for retaliation and claiming what is _mine._

So I turn "to Annie" and ask her to let Peeta know I'm bailing out.

"_Tell him I might be asleep by the time he gets to my place tonight, but just come straight up to my room."_

Images of Annie's knowing smile and Delly's scowl stay with me as I slip on my sneakers and sneak out the front door, unnoticed by the others. For a moment, I feel bad and think that maybe taking the higher road would have been a better option.

Then the picture of Delly's hand on Peeta's, leading him time and time again away from me throughout the night dances around my brain...

And I wouldn't change a fucking thing.

Finnick, impatient as ever begins beeping his horn madly the moment he sees me making my way down the slippery driveway.

"Finnick, shut the fuck up, it's almost eleven o'clock!" I hiss when I force the front door of his car open.

"Katniss, everyone's deaf, ain't like they can hear it," he snickers, like _I'm _the dense one.

"Not everyone on the street is deaf, dumbass."

"How was the party?" he asks, his voice light as he changes the subject. His engine hums gently as he speeds up and heads back toward the main road.

"Or should I ask?" he continues before I can reply. "Since, you know, you called me."

"It was fine. I talked to your lady friend."

His interest piques as he sits up straighter in his seat, "And?"

"And, we exchanged numbers."

"You're going to give it to me, right?"

"No," I chuckle, adding Annie into my contacts.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not a creep! If you want her number, you need to work for it."

"Damn you."

"_Easy there_, I'm the one who's going to help you," I remind him smoothly, a response he can't deny. I don't mention to him Annie's ability to read lips, just in case he thinks that'll get him out of needing lessons.

Plus, I'll admit it's a little amusing to tease Finnick.

He smiles at my commentary, his eyes still focused on the dark and flurry road ahead of him. Conditions have gotten bad since we've been at Delly's house and suddenly I'm worried about Peeta driving alone.

Even though I told Annie to let Peeta know I was leaving, I decide to send him a short message as well just so he hears it from me and doesn't think anything is wrong.

I expect an answer within a minute or two; it never takes longer for him to respond.

So when he doesn't, it's _me _who's thinking something is wrong.

* * *

It has to be well past midnight when I hear my closed door open and watch as light floods along the ceiling before disappearing a moment later. Peeta's footsteps can be heard along the creaky wooden floors as he grows closer to my bed.

I hear him fish through his pockets for things like his keys and cell phone and then the light patter of them falling onto the nightstand beside him. I flicker on the light closest to me, which surprises him, his entire body jumping suddenly.

"_I thought you were sleeping," _he explains when I snicker.

"_I was. Woke up when you came in," _I've never been able to sleep very heavily unless Peeta is in bed beside me. Maybe it's habit now or just pathetic, but either way a real night's sleep is near impossible.

"_Oh."_

He slips into bed, still wearing his jeans and sweatshirt. He smells like Delly's house when I lay my head across his chest. His hands automatically knot in my tangled hair.

"_Did you enjoy the rest of your night?" _I ask after a long moment of nothingness between us. When he doesn't automatically respond, I wonder if his eyes are closed in hopes of falling asleep and turn up to look at him.

They're open and staring down at my hands. He nods when I look at him, but moves into a sitting position, forcing me from my resting place on top of him.

We both sit up, side by side and face each other with tight frowns.

"_It wasn't bad," _he states vaguely. _"Played a couple more games before realizing it was nearly two in the morning."_

"_Sounds fun," _I say, pulling a loose thread from the sheets tangled underneath me after I finish.

"_Would have been better if you didn't leave," _he says, not exactly looking away from me, but not looking at me either.

"_Sorry, I was just really tired," _I'm only half lying. I am beat, but it's not why I left. _"You seemed fine without me anyway, lots of friends."_

"_Yeah, but... well, never mind," _he says, falling back onto the mattress with a thud. I sit unmoving, watching his chest rise and fall for a long minute, knowing as soon as I lay down he'll only continue and I'll be forced back into a sitting position.

But he never does continue the sentence, instead his eyes close and his breathing begins to slow.

I lay down beside him, shoulder to shoulder and stare up at the ceiling.

"_I'm sure you and Finnick had fun," _he says a minute later, right as my hand is on the light switch. I freeze and turn to him with questioning eyes, and his lock with my own with an intensity I can't recall ever seeing before.

A lump catches in my throat and my stomach knots and twists with the clear accusation behind his words.

"_He just gave me a ride home," _I reply honestly, wondering if possibly there was a hint of jealousy in his words.

He turns his gaze from me and a second later closes his eyes without another word on the matter. I flip off the switch before he can change his mind and begin talking but lie in bed for a long time after, wide-awake.

And judging by the way Peeta's breathing never slows, turning into his typical nightly snores, he's wide awake too.

* * *

Thank you all so much for your reviews/story alert/favorite adds. It really does mean a lot to me :) I hope everyone has a happy holiday (whichever way you choose to spend them) and make sure you check your inboxes within the next couple of days for a holiday treat :)

As always, I'm **ivegotthesclaf **over on tumblr. I also recently signed up on **twitter **so if you have an account over there, add me :) Both links are on my profile page.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Huge thanks, as always, to fnur for catching all my silly mistakes and misshoneywell for pre-reading/plotting with me.

* * *

**Chapter Ten: In Which There is A Difference**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_June 2011_

The school is buzzing with excitement; teachers and students alike eager to get out of the building and begin their summer vacations.

To make matters better, the sun has been shining heavily above the sky all day and a nice breeze helps to keep temperatures from rising to miserable heights, though the classrooms still feel stuffy.

Katniss wears her hair in its typical braid, only with the warmth of the classroom growing she's pinned it up into a spiraling braided bun. Her cheeks are flushed just slightly from the heat, and she's turned one of her papers into a fan for herself.

Playfully, she fans off my face too, running her hand over my forehead to push my sweaty bangs out of my face.

"_Gross," _she teases, wiping the perspiration off her hand and onto my shoulder. My face lifts up into a sly grin as I bend down and place my forehead into contact with her shoulder. She jerks away, but her face is turned up in amusement which makes me chuckle.

Johanna turns around in her seat and rolls her eyes at us before her mouth begins moving a mile a minute in Katniss's direction. Katniss's smile falters just slightly and her expression turns to one of concentration.

At that moment, my phone buzzes under the desk.

_We're going to the little music festival in the center of town tonight. You guys in?_

I look to Katniss, waiting for her response. There's really no good reason for me to go, other than to tag along with my friends. Sometimes, when the town has small festivals, there are crafts and food and games, but this one is purely music and unlike Katniss's earbuds, the vibrations there don't exactly work the same way.

"_Do you want to go?" _I ask Katniss, tapping my fingers along the desk a moment later.

She senses my own reservations and eyes me before turning to Johanna and shaking her head 'no.' I nudge her a second later in bewilderment.

"_It's fine," _she smiles. _"They'll be playing again some other time. Tonight we should celebrate! We're finally going to be sophomores. No more of this freshman shit."_

"_Katniss," _I say, seriously. _"We can go. I don't want to keep you from doing something you really want to."_

Her face lights up at my words and her hand lands on my forearm, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"_Are you trying to get rid of me?"_

My eyes widen and I shake my head quickly from left to right.

"_Never."_

"_Then shut up," _she winks, and the bell must ring because the room around us turns crazy as kids throw their unneeded papers in the air and rush for the door. Katniss stays seated, her eyes locked with mine before finally rising from her spot at the table.

"_Come on, let's go get ice cream!"_

* * *

It's around seven o'clock when we're lying in the grass behind my house, faces pressed against one another and feet shooting out in opposite directions. The concert started about a half an hour ago, and the guilt of Katniss not going out with our friends due to me is beginning to set in.

"_Why didn't you go?" _I question and she turns her head to face me, her eyes just inches from my own.

"_Why would I, if it's something we can't enjoy together?" _she asks me back, as if I'm truly dense.

I roll my eyes._"You didn't have to do that."_

"_Shh, the concert is starting," _she says, and for a long second I'm confused by her words, knowing full well that even if she had _fantastic_ hearing, she'd never be able to hear the music all the way in town.

She sticks a bud inside my ear, answering my unspoken question and turns the volume up high so the vibrations stem throughout my body. I turn to her in pure awe and she's smiling back at me.

"Now_ we can both enjoy it," _she says, pushing the bangs that have fallen into my eyes off to the side of my face.

I do the same to her and a blush creeps to her cheeks.

"_Thank you. I... I can't believe everything you do for me," _I speak, sheepishly.

"_I'd do anything for you."_

* * *

_December 2012_

A sudden cold gust of air pebbles my exposed flesh with goosebumps. My muscles tighten and reflexively my body curls into a ball as I feel my vocal chords vibrate in my throat tiredly.

I poke my head underneath my pillow to block out the gray sky which shines through the blinds Katniss must have opened up this morning. She nudges my thigh twice, a silent signal for me to get up. I figure if I ignore her long enough she'll return the covers and let me drift back to sleep.

If only it wasn't so damn _cold_ in here, like a tundra.

She nudges me again and underneath the pillow I shake my head twice, though in the back of my mind I know sleep has now long passed. The pillow lifts from its spot covering my face and then lands back on top of me roughly.

_That's it._

I sit up quickly and toss the pillow in Katniss's direction. The look of pure horror on her face with my unexpected retaliation and the way her mouth widens in a way that lets me know she's screaming has me snickering to myself contently.

She smirks, holding the pillow _and_ blankets hostage.

"_I need to start sleeping in my own bed," _I grumble.

"_You do half the time."_

"_Without you," _I tease and she rolls her eyes, feigning hurt.

"_You'd never wake up if I wasn't here to do it for you; it's after eleven o'clock you know."_

"_So? We're on vacation. You're supposed to sleep in on vacation."_

It's four days into our break from classes and two after Christmas. We have the rest of this week off and one more Monday before we have to return and I had _planned_ to spend most of my time in bed, sleeping.

Katniss wanted none of that.

Christmas passed quickly, but well. I snuck out from Katniss's room early in the morning back to my own house and made pancakes and entire package of bacon with my brothers and father, our one tradition. Father didn't go into the bakery (which nearly killed him) and Rye waited until three in the afternoon to disappear with friends (which nearly killed him).

Bannock and I stayed close to home, but later on in the evening I did wander back over to Katniss's. Much to both of our surprise, her Mother was home and in a pleasant mood. She and Prim made cookies together, to which Prim replied they aren't as good as _mine_ but they'll do... or at least, that's what Katniss told me.

Katniss was actually wearing an old Christmas present she gave to me about three years earlier: a pair of white and red striped long-johns and a green waffle-knit long-sleeved shirt. It was a gag gift, which she told me I didn't even _have_ to use, but of course I did, because it was from her.

The pants bunched awkwardly and the shirt did little to nothing to help cover it up, but the image made Katniss burst into laughter and has kind of been a joke ever since.

I don't fit into the set anymore - I've done a lot of growing in the past three years - so Katniss basically keeps it at her place, and occasionally in the winter she'll bundle up in it.

"_Aren't you excited for tonight?" _Katniss asks me, snapping me out of my recollection of Christmas. She's wearing the necklace I gave to her, entwining her fingers through the chain subconsciously.

Tonight, we're going to see a movie that's just come out with Johanna, Gale, Finnick and Madge. It looks pretty good and is all everyone has been talking about for the past several days. We had to wait a couple extra days for them to set it up in the theatre which broadcasts subtitles, but they figured it was better anyway, this way the theatre would be less crowded.

"_Yes," _I reply, running a hand through my messy bed head. _"What time is that again?"_

"_Six-thirty."_

"_Right."_

It's an action-based movie, about an infectious disease which overtakes this small town and turns everyone into zombies. Of course there's a minor love story weaved in somehow as well.

Katniss has already warned me I'm not allowed to let go of her hand if it gets too frightening... not that I mind it at all.

"_All right, I'm up, I'm up," _I sign before stretching from the bed, cracking my back and letting out an involuntary yawn, moving toward the door to use the bathroom.

"_So, what are your plans for the day?"_I ask out of curiosity. She stays curled up on the bed and shrugs her shoulders just slightly.

"_Well, Johanna and them had wanted to hang out before the movie tonight. Not sure what they wanted to do exactly, but she invited us over to her house."_

"_All right." _

"_But," _she continues, _"I told them we'd just meet up with them later at the theatre. Hope that's okay with you."_

I'm shocked by her answer, blinking rapidly several times before nodding like an idiot.

"_Sure, but why? Don't you want to hang out with them?"_

"_Actually, I kind of thought we could do something together," _when she finishes signing, she looks down to the blankets bunched around her middle and twists it nervously.

"_I mean, besides sitting around here or your place at night, we don't do much anymore." _

I smile, pleasantly surprised by her words.

"_You're right. Any ideas on what you want to do?"_

"_Well," _she says, untwisting herself from the bed and standing up across from me. _"I got a really awful sweater for Christmas. I'd like to return it, if you don't mind going to the mall?"_

I earn a broad smile when I feign annoyance, placing my hands on my hips and rolling my eyes impatiently. The way her shoulders bounce and nose wrinkles are clear indicators that she's chuckling and when she sticks her tongue out I reciprocate the action before telling her I'll be right back.

I fiddle with the lock on the Everdeen's bathroom for a long moment before quickly going to the bathroom, washing my face and brushing my teeth. I feel an odd sense of...giddiness? at the prospect of spending the day out with Katniss.

With everything that's been going on as of late, it's almost a relief to know we'll be spending the day with one another without any interruptions or distractions. It's not until this moment, when I'm _re-fiddling _with the door to _unlock_ it, that I realize how much I really have missed spending time with Katniss.

Although I see her every night, those are mostly spent doing homework and falling asleep early. Today is what we both need.

When I re-enter Katniss's room, dressed and ready to go, I find her in the same spot, pajamas stripped and laying in a puddle on the ground and in their place a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

She's just placing a rubber band at the end of her long braid when she catches my face in her mirror and turns with a smile.

"_Ready to go?"_

* * *

It's the first sunny day we've had in months. There's not a cloud in the sky as we walk through the parking lot into the mall, however the cold wind whipping back and forth makes it significantly less enjoyable, reminding us that it _is _still the end of December.

Having worn a sweater, Katniss refuses to wear a coat, and is shaking like a leaf by the time we make it past the doors into the heated building. Without fully thinking about my actions, I reflexively slip off my jacket and hold it out for her to take.

She glances up at me with furrowed eyebrows and then eyes the coat in the same fashion and immediately my cheeks grow warmer under her scrutiny. Thankfully, her look of confusion melts into one of gratitude and she smiles, reaching out to slip her arms through easily.

It's swimming on her, even with the help of a sweatshirt, but it stops her small form from shivering uncontrollably.

"_Better?" _I question and she nods, elbowing me teasingly before we begin walking in further.

"_Where to first?" _she asks. _"We have about, oh I don't know, four and a half hours to kill."_

"_Damn."_

She smiles and shrugs her shoulders, _"We don't have to stay here the entire time."_

"_Might as well," _I respond. We're a whole lot closer to the movie theatre out here at the mall than we would be back home. _"I'm sure we can find something to keep us occupied."_

"_I _did_ promise you frozen yogurt," _she says a minute later, kicking her feet along the tiled floor.

"_Yes, I remember that," _I nod.

"_Although, I don't know what kind of weirdo likes frozen yogurt in _December, _but hey that's just me."_

"_Because it's delicious year round. Love doesn't discriminate, remember?" _I say, almost immediately regretting it when she looks up at me with eyes I can't quite decipher. I offer a smile, trying to gloss over my words and she accepts it before turning to face forward again.

"_Well, I guess I'll make you wait a little longer for that, hold it as bait," _she winks before turning into a clothing store I'm unfamiliar with.

She doesn't look entirely enthused to be inside, but she glances around at a couple things before picking up three of what appears to be the same black shirt.

Her cheeks darken when she notices me staring at her in confusion and her shoulders slump in exaggeration.

"_What? I like black."_

"_So boring. No wonder you hate that sweater, it has a little color in it."_

The sweater _is_ hideous. The material is thick, itchy wool and it has some type of Fair Isle print with reindeer dancing along it. She only rolls her eyes at my commentary and eyes the store left to right.

"_Okay smart guy, what would you get?" _

Oh, she wants to play this game?

"_All right," _I say, glancing through racks of unorganized clothing. There doesn't seem to be an exact spot for anything really, just a free for all wherever you could find something.

Katniss's wardrobe consists of mild, bland colors, dark shades of browns, blues, blacks and grays. And alright, _obviously _I'm not the best person for her to be asking fashion advice from, but she did ask and I can try.

I pick up a solid green cable knit sweater. It feels nice under my fingertips and when I try to imagine Katniss inside of it, I actually can't help but smile. With her long dark hair and freckled face, she'd look very pretty with a splash of color.

"_What's the verdict?" _she questions when I return, still gripping the same three black shirts as earlier.

"_For someone whose favorite color is green, you sure don't wear it much," _I say, pulling the sweater out from under my arm and handing it to her. She holds it up, looking at it with a judging expression and pursing her lips.

She eyes me narrowly before the corners of her lips twitch up and she rests it over the side of her arm.

"_I like it," _she concludes, letting her fingers trail over my forearm a second later. Even with a long-sleeved shirt on, my skin pebbles under her fingertips.

"_Let me get it for you," _I say boldly, and her eyes grow wide.

"_No."_

"_Come on, it's an extended Christmas present. I picked it out, I should buy it."_

"_I have money. An abundance, actually. It's really okay."_

I pry the sweater from her hands and throw it over my shoulder, sticking my tongue out playfully before moving to the register, leaving her dumbfounded in the section of solid-colored shirts.

Something about paying for her shirt brings me pride, because when I get to the register and hand the woman the sweater and she sees Katniss by my side, for a second she probably questions if we're more than friends.

I know it's a dangerous thought, the kind that I shouldn't allow to flutter through my mind, but it's impossible to keep from thinking it as I reach for the bag and hand it over to Katniss, who smiles bashfully in my direction.

"_Merry Christmas."_

"_You already bought me a Christmas present, or did you forget?" _she says, her fingers running along the necklace I got for her. It wasn't horribly expensive, and quite honestly I only half expected her to wear it. She got me an extremely nice black leather wallet, to which she replied timidly that my dollar bills are always crinkled in my pocket.

"_Merry Christmas part two?"_

"_Thanks for coming with me today," _she says, as if she's been wanting to for several minutes. Her grip on the bag tightens and loosens as we walk idly.

"_Of course," _I respond easily as we slip into a department store, the one she's returning the awful sweater to.

We walk a long, marbled path deep into the store until we get to the woman's section and Katniss browses to see if there's anything she might want to replace the thing with.

"_You should have tried it on before you returned it," _I say with a sly chuckle. _"That would have been funny."_

"_Yeah, I'm sure you would have gotten a kick out of it, which is why I tried it on while you weren't around."_

"_Jerk," _I grumble and she shakes her head. _"Put it on now."_

"_What? No."_

"_Come on," _I tease, pointing to the dressing room. _"The dressing room is right there. Just do it."_

"_No, because then you're just going to laugh."_

"_Yeah, but not at you, just at the sweater. Come on, it'll be funny."_

She turns her head in the direction of the dressing room, then back at me and rolls her eyes, moving toward it. I internally fist pump, snickering to myself as I follow closely behind her until she shuts the door tightly in my face.

It only takes a few seconds for the door to whip open and Katniss to pop out with a long frown and a very, _very_ thick sweater.

"_Don't," _she begins and I bite my lip.

"_Don't do it, Peeta." _She's smiling now and then I can't help but laugh. I know she can hear it, I can feel it vibrating through my chest and neck, but in the moment I just can't find it in me to care.

She notices and as her own laughter begins to die down, she stares at me in that way that makes my stomach flip and toss inside my stomach, catching my own laughter in my throat.

"_I... that was funny," _I say lamely and she smiles toothily before shutting the door rapidly behind her, leaving me grinning foolishly by myself.

* * *

After Katniss finishes in the dressing room, and doesn't find anything to replace the sweater with, she tells me we can go get frozen yogurt.

"_Thank God because I was about to turn into a whiny bitch," _I tease as we make our way back into the main strip of the mall. Our swinging hands brush just slightly and Katniss doesn't pull away when I take her hand in my own.

My heart beats faster as her warm hand tightens its grip on my own and she runs her soft thumb over the bulging vein on the top of my hand.

We forfeit talking with our hands entwined with one another, but it's a fair trade in my opinion, and judging by the sly looks I cast in Katniss's direction, she's not too worried about it either.

Her free hand moves in front of us and points off to the side when we're in view of the frozen yogurt place. I follow her gaze and it lands on the small group walking toward us. It's Delly, and Annie and a couple other kids from school. This time it's me who tightens the grip on Katniss's hand before letting go.

"_Hi," _I greet as we meet them in the center of the hall. We exchange pleasantries and Delly explains how a pair of boots she received for Christmas were a size too small.

"_I think everyone's doing after-Christmas shopping right now," _I joke and they laugh, nodding along.

"_Well, we should get going - we're on our way to get frozen yogurt," _I say, licking my lips with enthusiasm.

"_Who gets frozen yogurt in December?" _Annie teases and Katniss's fake smile turns to a real one as she excitedly tells her she told me the exact same thing earlier.

"_Great minds think alike," _she winks, _"Have fun! See you next week, Peeta. Katniss."_

We wave goodbye and cross by them, back toward our destination. Our hands never find each other again, and each time I think about trying to entwine them again it feels awkward and silly in my mind, so I let it go.

When we get in line, I feel the need to point out to Katniss that four people stand in front of us.

"_See? I'm not the only weirdo who wants some frozen yogurt in winter. You know you kind of want it too now."_

"_No, thank you," _she says, making a disgusted face, busily turning back to her ever ringing phone. _"Too cold."_

"_Well, I might splurge and get a larger size that I won't be able to finish alone. Know anyone who might help?"_

She rolls her eyes, but is eager to help pick out the flavor when we get up to the display case to order.

We find a small table not far away and pull the two chairs next to one another out, digging our spoons into the custard at the same time.

Katniss's phone vibrates on the table again and she quickly sends a reply, licking a bit of the melting treat off her fingertips.

"_We need napkins," _she says with a nod, rising before I even have the chance to offer. _"Be right back."_

Her phone vibrates _again_ before she's barely gone.

And again.

And once more.

I'm not snooping, and typically I _never_ look at Katniss's phone, but it's right there and the name that's flashing in front of me draws my attention more than normal.

It's Finnick.

_What are you doing, woman!? _

_We had plans. _

_Can't you leave a little early and come over? I need you..._

_Kat, don't make me beg! _

What the actual fuck?

Completely irrational anger swells in my body, and I can literally feel the blood under my skin begin to boil. I almost bring the cup of ice cream to my stinging cheeks but think better of it, as it's turning into a sticky mess.

My hand fists around the plastic spoon so hard that it cracks in half under the pressure, and I breathe heavily through my nose to calm down before Katniss returns.

The fucking thing buzzes again.

Katniss comes back seconds later and glances at her phone, then me before shoving it in her pocket.

"_Oh no, your spoon."_

"_Yeah, it was... faulty." _

"_You can share mine," _she says smoothly, which only makes the twisting in my stomach that more uncontrollable. I wish I could have known how she was responding to Finnick's advancements. Obviously she had told him no, that she was with me, but he continued to pester and badger her.

_I need you..._

Fuck.

"_Peeta?" _Katniss asks, bringing a spoonful of the yogurt to her lips. _"You didn't want to talk to your friends more, did you? We could have walked with them if you wanted to."_

"_Nah," _I say with a shrug. _"I was having fun hanging out with just you."_

Her smile broadens as she offers me the spoon.

"_Me too."_

* * *

After we finish frozen yogurt and putter around in a couple different stores to stretch time out, we drive down to the movie theaters - just about five minutes away - to meet up with everyone.

The sky is already turning into a dusty shade of blue and the sun that was so bright in the sky just hours ago, seems to have disappeared.

I decided to let the whole text message thing go. After Katniss came back with napkins and shoved her phone in her pocket she never took it back out again, and I'm sure it buzzed several more times with Finnick telling her how much he _needed_ her.

It has to be one-sided, or at least, that's what I keep telling myself. The way Katniss reacted, the way she _didn't_ leave to go be with him... if she was interested she would have left, right?

My internal thought process seems to calm my nerves and erratic heartbeat. I know if I had mentioned the messages to Katniss she would have just said I was jealous (after getting mad at me for "snooping"). I'm not _jealous. _I have no right to be _jealous. _

I just... don't exactly like to think about Katniss being with another guy. Especially Finnick.

So maybe I'm a little jealous.

I park the car a little further out than normal, because the parking lot is jam-packed with people eagerly waiting to see the newest blockbuster.

Katniss hand floats to my arm and gives it a gentle squeeze. I glance up at her and she's eyeing me with concern.

"_Are you all right? You were grinding your teeth the entire way here."_

I'm happy the sun has set so she can't see the way my cheeks redden with her words. I force a smile to my lips and rest a hand on top of hers with a gentle pat.

"_I'm fine," _I assure her, changing my expression to one of enthusiasm. _"Are you excited to see the movie?"_

Her eyes light up and she nods furiously as we step out of the car and I lock it.

"_Yes! I heard it's really good. Although, be glad you're deaf, you get to skimp on the obnoxious screaming and just enjoy the movie."_

I smirk in her direction as we make our way toward the absurd line protruding from the theaters doors. It's a good thing Katniss is still wearing my jacket, because it appears we'll be standing here a while.

Gale, Madge, Johanna and Finnick are already waiting in line and greet us anxiously upon our arrival. Despite the deceiving looks of a long line, it actually moves rather quickly, and within an half an hour or so we're inside the building, next in line to receive our tickets.

With such a big group of us, and so much chaos surrounding the area, it's become a very quiet half an hour for me. Katniss mostly talks with the others, having not seen them since the start of break, but right before we slip through the doors her hand snakes into my own, giving it a slight squeeze. When I loosen my grip, thinking she'll pull away she only hangs on tighter, making my heart thump wildly in my chest.

Now, I'm _really_ glad I didn't bring up the text messages.

After everyone else has received their tickets, Katniss moves up to the register and I hand her the money to pay for my ticket as well. I strum my fingers over the countertop for a long minute, waiting for the tickets to pop out from it so we can go find seats before the good ones are taken.

The others off to the side of us are growing antsy the longer it takes and I can see them occasionally cast a look towards the hallway leading to the theaters, before Johanna speaks in Katniss's direction.

I turn to Katniss, whose face is red, still holding our money in our hands and watch in confusion as she leaves the register and walks over to the group.

They're talking, but Katniss refuses to even look in my direction. When her lips stop moving, simultaneously everyone's eyes cast a glance in my direction, making my face and neck feel warmer under their scrutiny.

I tap Katniss's arm timidly and she breathes heavily, running a hand through her hair.

"_So, online they said the movie was playing in the subtitle room, but it's not tonight."_

"_Oh," _I say awkwardly, unsure of what else I _can_ say. I can feel the blood in my body beating more rapidly as embarrassment and chagrin begins setting into my system and I swallow heavily.

"_One second, I think we're all just going to leave and do something else."_

"_Katniss, no-"_

"_It's cool, Peeta. One second," _she smiles reassuringly and then pulls herself back toward the group. Apparently, it's not as "cool" as she assumed, because the second she suggests the idea to the others, it's as if World War III has erupted before my eyes. Their faces drop to looks of disappointment, and even a little _angry _and the feelings inside me well up even stronger.

Katniss storms back toward me and grabs my hand, but I refuse to move toward the doors.

"_Come on, Peeta," _she encourages. _"This is bullshit, we're leaving."_

"_No," _I say, shaking my head, unable to look at anything but my trembling hands. _"You should... go with them. You really wanted to see the movie, and I don't want to keep you from seeing it."_

"_We'll just go another time when they're playing it in the subtitle room," _she says, as if it's no big deal. As if I'm _not_ ruining her plans once again. _"Come on, let's get out of here."_

"_Katniss, just stay. Please," _my eyes turn pleading. I just want to get out of here, but if she comes with me, the embarrassment of the situation will only be prolonged. It's time for me to realize that I _can't _do everything they can. I'm not normal.

Finnick comes up beside Katniss and pulls on her arm, saying something with desperate eyes. He looks to me with a touch of sadness, but the way his arm lingers on Katniss's before he pulls away doesn't go unnoticed.

"_What did he say?" _I demand and Katniss reluctantly shrugs.

"_He said I should stay. They want me to. But, what are you going to do?"_

"_You should go," _I sniff, my feet already moving toward the door. Everyone is staring, the employee at the register, our group of friends eager to find seats, Katniss whose expression is torn...

I need to fucking leave.

"_I'll be around tonight. You can tell me all about it."_

She takes a step toward me and I push her to the register, slightly rougher than I originally intend too, anger beginning to swell up in my form.

"_Just STAY," _I tell her, turning on my heels to duck out before she can follow.

The cold wind feels nice on my stinging cheeks, and the further I get from the theater, the more embarrassed and angry with myself I feel. I unlock the car door and shut it behind me, letting out a disgusted snort with how the air inside is still warm.

I turn the car on, but don't move from the parking lot for a long time. I stare at the windows as they begin to fog up and try to calm my erratic breathing.

My pocket vibrates, and for a second, I debate taking it out. When it vibrates against me once more, I reluctantly pull it from my pants and open up the text message from Katniss.

_I hope you're not upset with yourself. It's my fault; I should have called the theater. _

I can't help the self pity-induced tear that drops down my cheek after reading her words. I try wiping it away with my forearm, but more and more spring forth until I'm throwing the phone in the seat beside me and banging my fists against the steering wheel, sinking into it.

I only let myself cry for a minute, because the more I think about it, the stupider I feel and I keep imagining Katniss running out to the parking lot when she sees my car still here, only to find me in a shriveling puddle over a fucking _movie._

The car feels too warm against my flush skin and stinging eyes, so before I drive off I turn down the heat and turn on the radio, the familiar vibrations somewhat soothing me.

I pick up my phone, Katniss is probably already in the movie theater by now, but send her a quick responding message.

_Don't you dare say it's your fault. I'll see you tonight, enjoy the movie :)_

Right as I press the 'send' button, another message comes in, this one from Finnick and my heart rate increases just slightly at his name on my screen.

_Hope all is cool man, I just knew you wouldn't want Katniss to miss out. Don't worry, I'll take good care of her!_

That fucking asshole.

I drop my phone into the cup holder and race out of the parking lot onto the open road. The snow has started back up again and lazily hits my windshield as I speed down the deserted streets one town over from Panem, all the while thinking of Finnick's latest message.

_I bet he thinks he fucking will, _I find myself thinking icily, the jealousy and anger I experienced earlier only increasing tenfold.

The hardest part though is thinking about Katniss holding my hand in line, and how she told me she'd have to hold it if the movie got too scary.

And now she'll be holding Finnick's.

* * *

Rye, Bannock and Dad don't even bother asking what's wrong when I rush past them and up to my bedroom. They've probably guessed it. They knew I was supposed to be at the movie theater tonight.

The image of them exchanging confused and pitiful faces only has my embarrassment increasing as I slam my door roughly and lean against it with a heavy sigh, running my fingers through my wild hair.

I slide down until I touch the ground and I lean fully against the back of my door, my knees curling up into my body. Part of me wants to tell Katniss to just go home tonight, that I want to be alone, because as soon as she comes back over all the feelings I'm trying to _erase_ will only reappear.

I never do end up texting her though, because I know I need her here more than I'd care to admit out loud.

As time passes and I grow calmer, moving from my spot on the ground to my bed, I begin thinking about last week, when I went over to Delly's house to hang out with the other kids from school.

I had more fun that night than I originally expected too. I had thought that Katniss was having fun too, when I saw her talking and laughing with Annie, but then she had disappeared and through the window I saw her slip into the familiar car of Finnick.

I tried not to let it bother me when Annie (and later on the text message from Katniss) let me know she had bailed, but it did a little.

Because I hang out with her friends all the time. Of course if I told her this she'd say they were _our_ friends, but I'm not an idiot and I know without Katniss, none of them would have given me a second thought. Even tonight, although I would have felt awful if they had left the theater for me, they didn't even offer...

They were _angry_, put out by my disability.

A wave of self pity washes over my body and before I even fully realize what I'm doing, my phone is out and I'm sending a message to Delly.

_Hey. Can you talk?_

It takes less than two minutes for her response to come in.

_Sure. Is everything okay? I thought you'd be at the movies. _Her message reads, and at the end there's a small frowning face.

I dive into the whole tale, telling her all about the long wait in line, how the only theater I could actually enjoy the movie in wasn't playing the right film, the awkward tension, the staring eyes... _everything, _and when I press the send button, relief actually washes over me.

I realize I feel this way because Delly will fucking get it. Unlike my dad, or brothers or even Katniss who really, really _try _but will never fully understand what it's like. How could they?

_That sucks, I'm sorry Peeta, _her first message reads, followed by another one quickly after. _You must feel left out a lot of the time, huh?_

I've never really thought about it, but the more I do, the more I begin to paint the dividing lines between the lives Katniss and the others lead and myself. I've always been different, even in smaller situations; things like a joke being not as funny because I can't hear the _tone _or going to concerts. Katniss tries her damnedest to keep me involved...

But that doesn't mean it always works.

Anxiety fills my chest as I continue thinking of all the things I _can't_ do, and I suddenly feel stupid for even letting myself play pretend this afternoon. What happened at the mall had been a twisted and silly fantasy. Katniss would never actually consider someone like me...

I realize I still haven't responded to Delly's message and type a quick: _Kinda... yeah._

_Well, just know you can always hang out with us! It seemed like you had fun the last time you came. _

I smile a little reading her words.

_Yeah, I did. Thanks._

_No problem. I'm having some more people over sometime next week. I'll let you know details the closer it gets. I'd say Katniss could come too, but the party pooper left early last time! Everything all right?_

Maybe it's time I start hanging out more with my other friends from school. Delly's right, I did have a ton of fun with them and never once did I feel different or left out. I hadn't realized how different things could be before moving to the new school in Capitol, but now that the lines between my the two groups is growing thicker and thicker, it's becoming more clear to me _why_ Principal Snow wanted me to try it out.

_Everything is fine. _I assure her, _She just felt sort of awkward, I think._

_Well, it's about time she be the one who feels out of place..._

My eyebrows furrow at her response and I run a tired hand through my hair. After the emotional roller coaster of a day, I can't find the energy to decipher Delly's words or make sense of them.

_What do you mean? _I respond, running a hand over my temple. _Just say it._

_I'll show you next time we're all together._

* * *

Merry Christmas (again) everyone. Hope you enjoyed this double update week! Thank you for all the feedback (which I can assure you was extremely appreciated, I'm sorry I wasn't able to get back to you guys before posting this chapter). I hope you all had a happy holiday and enjoyed the chapter.

Now please don't kill me, all right?

As always, find me over on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) and twitter (passtheheroin). Links on my profile!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

Also congratulations to fairmellarky on your wedding day! Best wishes to you and your groom :)

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: In Which it is Awkward**

* * *

_December 2006_

I feel a sudden poke on my cheek... followed by another... and another before my eyes finally open, reading to punch Rye in the face. My fist has already formed when I make out Katniss standing in front of me, and not my brother like I expected.

I sit up in surprise, sleep still lingering in the corner of my eyes and hair probably sticking up in all different directions. She laughs to herself, watching me stretch before jumping on top of my bed, smoothing out the covers around her.

In my half-awake state I search for our notebook, tucked between my bedpost and the nightstand beside me. I click the pen before I begin scribbling, Katniss watching in amusement.

_I wasn't expecting you so early._

_Surprise. Hey! Watch this. I've been practicing all night._

I raise my eyes to meet her face and she lifts her hands nervously, biting her lip.

"_Hello P-E-E-T-A. How are you doing today?" _Her expression of intense concentration breaks out into a smile and I can't help but lunge at her, wrapping my arms around her middle. I can feel her laughing and she tightens her grip on me as well, pushing my hair back out of my eyes.

_That was great! _I jot down on the paper a minute later, once I've pried myself loose of her with embarrassment.

I've been teaching Katniss sign language for the past week and a half and whenever she comes over, she makes Rye, Bannock and Dad sign whatever they say to her, to help with memorization.

I just can't believe she learned this on her own. That she's been practicing. That she actually wishes to learn and isn't giving up after the initial interest faded.

_Did it sound right?_

_Perfect, _I assure her. _You're getting so good - soon we won't even need these notebooks anymore. _

She grins, nodding her head in agreement.

I excuse myself to get changed from my night clothing and into something more appropriate and when I return, my bed is made and Katniss rests with her legs crossed over one another on top, studying our notebook with furrowed eyebrows.

_Thinking hard? _I question on the paper and her pursed lips sit off to the side of her face while she twirls the pen in her hand for a long minute.

_I was wondering... I read online that there's like... etiquette and things to learn. Like deaf culture and stuff. Are you going to teach me that?_

I read her words with the same look of bewilderment she wore before my lips turn up into a smile, releasing a small chuckle and shaking my head.

_Katniss, that's grown up stuff. I'm not too worried about etiquette. I don't even really get it._

She smiles too, her two front teeth missing and in their place gums as she twiddles with the end of her braid.

_Plus, _I add to ease her nerves. _It's only me and you. Not like that stuff is important anyway._

_Yeah, I guess not, _she agrees with a shrug. _But you don't care? _

_Katniss, you're learning sign language for me. I'm not too worried about you offending me._

* * *

_January 2013_

With two weeks having already passed, it seems as if the new year is flying by. It's hard to believe it's already the end of midterm week and the third quarter of school will shortly be starting.

Since neither Katniss nor I have any exams today, we opt to take the morning shift in the bakery, leaving Rye and Bannock to close up tonight.

With two hours into the shift, it's noon now and we've locked the bakery doors for the next half an hour to give ourselves time to eat lunch.

There's an old and dusty folding table and a couple chairs we keep tucked back in the supply closet that I dig out for us to use, placing a couple napkins over the top of it. I messaged Katniss this morning to let her know she didn't need to worry about bringing a lunch and packed sandwiches for the both of us.

Due to exam preparation, and this reason and that, it feels like I've hardly seen Katniss since our winter break from school. Granted, we still spend most our afternoons together in the bakery, but even our evenings at each other's houses have become few and far between. This week alone I've gone to bed and woken up three times to her side empty, this morning being one of them.

"_Have your midterms been as insane as mine?"_Katniss asks before sinking her teeth into the sandwich, sticking her thumb up in approval. She always likes my sandwiches.

I take a bite too and a long sip of water while nodding in agreement.

"_Glad they're over."_

"_Amen."_

And... more silence. I tap my fingers against the table, staring down at my lunch. When I chance a glance up, Katniss is smiling at me through a mouthful of food before her eyes grow wide and she holds a finger up for me to wait. She chews faster and swallows deeply before tapping the table in excitement.

"_I forgot to tell you! How could I forget to tell you?"_

"_Tell me what?" _I smirk.

"_Finnick's brilliant idea," _she says, and I hope she doesn't notice the way my smile falters for just a moment. Of course it's about fucking Finnick.

"_He thinks we should do an _actual_ protest," _Katniss explains, watching my expression with each word she signs.

"_A protest?"_

"_Yeah! I mean we've put up some flyers and had people sign our petition, but the hype is dying down and we've never actually done a _real_ protest."_

"_You mean like with signs and everything?"_

She nods, biting and gnawing at her bottom lip.

"_It'd be kind of fun. We could make shirts and signs and march around the building. I'm sure a lot of kids would join in. If for no other reason than to miss a couple classes."_

I snort, shrugging my shoulders, _"It's good in theory. But who would see it besides Snow, who we already know doesn't give a shit?"_

It's not because it's Finnick's idea that I'm ripping it apart, more because I'm sick of feeling like Katniss and everyone is wasting their time on something pointless. I'd never tell her that's how I feel, because I appreciate every single thing she has done in effort for my return.

But it's just not working.

And I feel as if both our happiness is suffering as a result of it.

"_Well, that's the other thing. Finnick knows a couple guys who work down at the local news station and he thinks he could pull some strings and get a reporter to come down and do an interview about it."_

My eyes widen as she continues to sign.

"_He can't promise a lead story or anything like that, but if we can just get on the news... it'd draw enough attention, I think."_

"_You hate public speaking," _I accuse and her cheeks grow red on her face as she shifts on her feet awkwardly.

"_Yeah, I mean, obviously I wouldn't speak," _her head is shaking furiously with her words. _"I'd probably end up messing everything up if I did. But Finnick doesn't mind speaking to the cameras; neither does Johanna, so I think they'll be our mouthpieces. They're more than happy to help out."_

I wonder how much of their enthusiasm is toward helping Katniss and how much for me. I know it's a selfish thought, one I try to push away, but after the movie incident and the increasing awkwardness between all of them and myself since, I can't help but feel they've never had much of an interest being _my_ friend so much as Katniss's.

I'm just the consolation prize. The thing stuck on her hip that won't seem to _leave._

"_Peeta?"_

I look up at Katniss questioningly and she snickers to herself, her shoulders rising and falling quickly.

"_I said, what do you think?"_

"_Oh... I think it's a nice idea," _I sign, making her smile increase. _"But, I just wish there was more I could do to help. I feel like you're going to all this trouble and all I'm doing is waiting along the side lines twiddling my thumbs."_

"_You do as much as you can," _she tries, but I shake my head.

"_All I do is go to school."_

"_What else is there for you to do?" _she asks rhetorically.

"_Anything?"_

She thinks for a moment, glancing up toward the ceiling with a finger rubbing under her chin before she turns to me again, _"You could help with the t-shirts when we make them. Posters, too. You're so good at art; maybe you could make the sign for 'I love you' on my shirt for me?"_

My ears sting at her compliment and as much as I try fighting it, a grin spreads to my face, one that she mirrors and I nod my head in answer to her question.

"_Sure! I could draw a sketch out for you first to make sure you like how it looks."_

"_Thanks, Peeta," _she smiles. _"We're going to get you back, I'm sure of it. After this protest, we'll have signatures coming left and right. Snow won't be able to refuse if everyone is protesting."_

My fear is that _no one_ will protest.

"_Okay," _I swallow heavily, nodding my head as if still trying to convince myself of her words. We grow quiet for a long moment, and I remember that I had something to ask Katniss, not to mention I'm eager to change the subject before I start thinking too hard about it.

"_Do you want to hang out with me tonight?" _I ask.

"_Of course," _Katniss beams, looking almost surprised that I asked. _"What do you want to do?" _

"_Well, some friends from school invited me out for dinner and I was thinking... what?" _I ask, noting how her look of excitement melts to one of disappointment.

She shrugs indifferently, _"Nothing. I just assumed you meant me and you _only _tonight."_

"_Oh," _I match her tone. _"Well, after dinner we can do something. Maybe get some dessert or..." _I stop again, because she's shaking her head, looking to the floor.

"_It's fine, it's fine. Dinner sounds good. Where?"_

"_That diner we've gone to a couple times before; Good Ol' Days."_

It's a fifties style diner, with checkered floors, silver metallic tables and shiny pleather seats. Decorating the walls are old pictures of Elvis Presley and Marilyn Monroe along with records and photos of sock hop girls.

It's actually pretty amusing, and the food is great. But what Katniss and I like most is the portable juke boxes sitting at each table with a plethora of songs to choose from. Since the noise comes out the small speakers just underneath it, it's easy for me to keep my wrist pressed against it and "enjoy" the music along with her.

Katniss's expression lightens a little with knowledge of the restaurant, possibly recalling the different occasions we've gone ourselves, and she gives a short nod. Her eyes dart past their spot on me and land on the door a moment later, where Rye and Bannock are seen coming from.

Rye's mouth is moving a mile a minute and Katniss rolls her eyes, signaling his stupidity before shaking her head in an unbelieving manner. He flings an arm over her shoulder and gives her a little tug in his direction before patting her hair gently.

Bannock smacks my back as he walks past to grab an apron, Rye close on his heels.

I glance at the clock, unbelieving that it's already two in the afternoon and Katniss and I are free. I notice her eyes cast to where mine are, her fingers already moving to untie the apron before winking in my direction, wiping all traces of extra flour from her hand.

"_I'm glad you're coming," _I tell her honestly, afterwards reaching out for her apron and slipping mine off as well. _"I miss hanging out with you, you know?"_

"_Yeah," _she agrees, _"Since when did we start becoming too busy for one another?"_

"_I know," _I say, sadness welling in the pit of my stomach, because her words hit me harder than I imagine they would. No matter how busy we've ever grown in the past, we've never substituted time with each other for anything (or anyone) else.

Rye and Bannock reappear and basically shove us out the doors.

"_Dad will kill us if we go over payroll, go clock out," _Bannock insists, pointing over to the small computer sticking out from the little room. Neither of us needs to be told twice to leave bakery duty.

"_So, you'll pick me up in a couple hours?" _Katniss asks as we walk down the couple steps leading to the bakery, snow already falling into her hair, making her gray eyes stand out even more.

"_Oh, you don't want to come over to my house or something?" _I ask, cursing myself for sounding more desperate than I already feel.

"_I'd love to, but I have a couple things I need to get done before tonight," _she frowns, running a hand over the back of her neck, her small fingers sticking out of the ends of her gloves.

"_Okay," _I shrug, as if it's no big deal at all. "_I'll pick you up around six thirty then?"_

"_Sure thing! See you then," _she perks up, falling down into the driver's side of her car. She's pulling out onto the road before mine is even started up. With one last wave, she's gone leaving me waving back to nothing but her tracks.

* * *

I do a couple of things around the house to keep myself busy during my afternoon alone. By the time I've finished a couple loads of laundry, finished washing the dishes for Dad and made myself a quick snack, it's time to pick Katniss up for this evening.

I'm excited (and surprised) she agreed. I was worried at first; with her having left early the last time we all got together, I feared she would decline the invitation automatically this time. But, I think she likes Annie and I feel if she just got to know Delly better, the two of them might become friends as well.

I only beep my horn for her when I'm in the driveway and wait patiently until she appears; wearing the same pants as earlier, but her simple black t-shirt has been replaced with the green sweater I bought for her, under her coat.

She notices my broad smile, but pretends not to understand it, casting me awkward looks as she buckles her seatbelt.

"_What?" _she finally asks when I make no move to start the car up.

"_I knew you'd look nice in green."_

"_Maybe you should pick out my clothes more often," _she teases as I back out and down the road.

When we get to the diner, everyone is already there, crammed into a booth and waving eagerly to gain our attention. There's only room for one person on each side of the booth and Katniss jumps at the opportunity to sit next to Annie, leaving me next to Delly. Down the row sits Thresh and Rue and a couple of others I only recognize from Delly's house a couple times before.

I wave and they all return it before eagerly looking back to their menus.

"_Did you find this place alright?" _Delly asks, tapping her long fingernails against the table to gain my attention. _"It's a little ways away from your neck of the woods, huh?"_

"_Oh, no we didn't have trouble at all," _I grin, _"We've been here a couple times before, so we were actually excited to find out this is where you all were planning to meet."_

"_Oh, fun," _Delly says with a nod, her fingers running over the glossy menu before chancing a glance in Katniss's direction. She seems to be in a world of her own, intently looking at the choices of food although she already knows what she's going to order.

Any minute now, she's going to ask me if I'd like to share a chocolate shake with her.

Delly reaches over to Katniss, giving her arm a small squeeze to gain her attention.

"_How was the movie?" _she asks, innocently enough, but my heart drops into my stomach. I hadn't told Katniss about my conversation with Delly the night I came home from the movies, unable to stay.

Her head cocks to the side, as if she doesn't understand what Delly is referencing before understanding dawns on her and I watch her cheeks tint red. She presses a piece of hair behind her ear like she does whenever she's nervous and gives a small shrug.

"_Peeta didn't miss much," _she snickers._"I already told him that though. Definitely not worth spending the money on. Just wait for pay-per-view."_

"_I'm not too fond of zombies anyway," _Delly says with a wave of her fingers. _"More of a romance girl than scary movie. Unless I have someone to hold my hand, that is."_

Delly pats my hand which rests next to hers, and instinctively I flinch away when I notice Katniss eyes flicker down to them.

"_You'd hold my hand, right Peeta?" _she asks with a playful wink. I smile timidly, casting glances between Katniss and Delly trying to think of the right answer in a matter of seconds.

"_I think everyone would be holding onto one another," _I joke, making them both smile; Katniss's flashing more relief and Delly's amusement.

"_You have a point there."_

With her words my pocket vibrates and when I glance down at it, Delly does too coyly.

The message is from her when I open it.

_I still plan to explain to you what I meant. That night we were texting. _

I try hard not to turn up in Delly's direction, in fear of coming off completely transparent to Katniss. I'd rather she didn't know we were talking about her right now. My fingers strum over the keyboard for a long time, trying to think of an answer before a simple _all right _is being sent her way.

"_Do you want to share a chocolate milkshake with me?" _Katniss asks when I glance up.

"_Of course."_

"_Are their milkshakes any good?" _Delly questions with the tilt of her head. _"I love strawberry."_

"_I've only ever had chocolate," _Katniss says, pressing that stubborn piece of hair behind her ear again. _"But, it's amazing so I'm sure strawberry is as well."_

Delly nods turning back to the menu. Katniss eyes her suspiciously, which catches me off guard seeing as I thought things were going along great. She catches me staring and sends me a wink before launching into a conversation with Annie.

I like Annie and think she's a good person to have around for Katniss. I can see her visibly relax as Annie laughs at whatever joke she tells and excitedly expresses herself along with Katniss's words. They continue to chatter on until the waiter comes along, looking to take our orders.

I note how the waiter slowly takes everyone's order by watching which item they point to, then showing them what he wrote down to double check. He does the same thing down the line of people until he gets to Katniss who speaks her order before he disappears.

"_You got us the milkshake, right?" _I ask her with a crooked grin. She matches my expression before nodding twice, patting on the table. I watch the rhythm of her pattern, thinking it must be to the music playing on the speakers surrounding the diner and copy her movements.

"_This song stinks," _she says, wrinkling her nose, but the smile from earlier still plays on her lips.

"_Aw, really?"_

"_Yes, be glad you're deaf-" _

I feel a sharp jab on the side of my ribcage and turn in reflex to Delly who doesn't even try hiding her disgust, eyes wide as she looks to me in horror. Even Annie looks slightly shocked by Katniss's choice phrase.

Normally, I wouldn't even flinch, but with my senses highly aware of the crowd we're with, even I shoot a glare toward Katniss. Her face is darkening in color before my eyes and she shifts in her seat a couple times, staring at me for the answer in what to do.

I try smiling, hoping the few people who saw Katniss will chime in awkwardly. But they don't... so I stop.

_You've got to be kidding me, Peeta, _the newest text message from Delly reads.

_It's just something we do... she forgot we were with other people I think._

_When are you going to stop defending her and just admit the way she acts is wrong? _Her words bite back in question and I study them for a long time.

I never realized Katniss and I acted any differently from the others that surrounded us, but forming a best friendship with our odd circumstances things were bound to be...unorthodox.

I don't know how to respond to Delly's message, so I don't.

With the restaurant dead around us, it takes less than twenty minutes for the waiter to reappear with platters of food and dish them out to everyone.

"_Can I steal a fry?" _Delly asks, an expression of excitement on her features. I see the garden salad in front of her and she smiles sheepishly.

"_Trying to watch the figure, but I just wanted to dip one fry into my milkshake. This better be good, Katniss," _she teases, plucking a fry from my plate and dunking it into the tall shake. Her eyes brighten as she nods in approval before taking a long sip.

"_Not bad."_

"_Chocolate is better," _I say, smirking toward Katniss who's lips are taunt against the straw.

"_Maybe that's what I'll get next time," _Delly concludes before turning to her salad, focusing on eating.

The table grows motionless, everyone digging into their meals and I can sense the awkwardness radiating off of Katniss who idly runs a French fry through her mountain of ketchup. She seems lost in her own thoughts before peering up to me under her eyelashes and turning toward the juke box with a smirk.

"_Help me pick a song?" _she asks and I glance around at the table, silently hoping no one saw her. She notices my hesitation and narrows her eyes, her lips forming a hard line.

"_What, are you embarrassed now?"_

"_No," _I frown, flipping through the song choices. I can feel Delly's eyes on the back of my head and am not surprised when an accompanied kick to my ankle comes shortly after.

I click a familiar one that I've enjoyed in the past and place a nickel inside. I turn to Katniss to make sure it's begun playing and watch as her lips move along with the lyrics.

As I'm about to take another bite of my burger, my phone vibrates _again. _Annoyance wells up in my chest as I click open the message once again from Delly.

_Really? She has you picking out her songs too?_

_It's not a big deal._

_It's kind of a big deal, Peeta. Look, I get it. We've grown up in completely different environments... but the way she treats you, the way she acts is offensive. You might not mind, but we do._

_What do you want me to do? _I sigh, throwing my phone into my pocket, not bothering with it as it vibrates once again with reply.

Katniss pokes my hand with her finger and continues to nudge me when I don't immediately glance up at her. In efforts to still her movements, I grab her hand in my own, holding it down tightly. I can't take anymore comments from Delly. Not with Katniss and my relationship already teeter tottering...

Katniss's arm seems tense at my gesture, and she tries leading our hands to the speakers to press my wrist against and listen too, but I refuse. She watches our entwined hands carefully before taking her first bite of food.

She doesn't get it. I would think she'd have caught onto the fact that she's royally fucking up again and again, but she remains oblivious.

Delly, however, doesn't and I catch her gaze resting on our knotted fingers more than once. Her eyebrows rise in question but I simply shrug, taking another sip of the shake. Katniss pulls her hand out of mine eventually to continue eating, but stays quiet throughout most the night except for to talk with Annie.

Close to when we're leaving, once everyone's plates have been collected and the waiter is returning with checks, he turns to Katniss curiously fascinated and says something to her with a broad smile. Immediately, her cheeks flood red, from the tips of her ears all the way down her collarbone and I see her throat bob with a heavy swallow.

Her lips barely twitch, and then the waiter is disappearing and she refuses to look to any of us.

"_What did he say, Kat?" _I ask when we catch eyes.

"_Nothing."_

"_He obviously said something," _I tease. _"Did he upset you?"_

"_No."_

"_Then what?"_

"_He said she has a beautiful singing voice," _Annie says with a wicked smile, nudging Katniss in the side. _"She's just being bashful about it."_

"_I am not," _Katniss protests and Delly rolls her eyes dramatically.

"_Peeta, is she always this embarrassed after someone comments on her singing? Your voice must be something else if people stop you in public to comment on it."_

I'm stunned silent, my eyes locked with Katniss's as I stare at her with disbelief. How many times have I asked her if she has a good voice? And how many times has she shrugged her shoulders or dismissed the conversation?

I know it doesn't seem like such a big deal, but it _is. _Katniss has always been my "ears" as she puts it, and with the knowledge of her keeping things from me, a sharp sting begins to well up in my form.

"_I wouldn't know," _I sign, emotionlessly. _"Anytime I've asked if she's good, she's always said no."_

Katniss's eyes narrow with my words and she raises her hands in response but I duck my head down to the receipt.

It's stupid. I have no right to be angry with her. I know she only didn't say anything about it because she's embarrassed, but it has my mind hurdling toward a bad place and I begin to wonder how many times everyone _else_ has heard her wonderful voice...

Why didn't she tell me?

"_You're too modest," _Annie says in Katniss's direction, but no one is much in the mood for talking anymore.

As we're walking out the restaurant, everyone scattering to their cars, Katniss raises her hands out of their hiding spot in her coat pockets.

"_Johanna texted me. There's a party going on."_

I'm confused by her words, because typically Katniss avoided parties like the plague. She's awkward in social situations, and doesn't like being pressured to drink like there usually are at these things.

Not to say we haven't gone, she more than me, she just usually doesn't look so excited about it.

"_All right," _I respond casually. _"You want to go?"_

Maybe it's best if we're not alone all night anyway. I'm still a little annoyed about the whole singing thing and Katniss has been acting cooler toward me since. With the distraction of others around us, maybe it'll pass without a storm.

"_Yes."_

"_Fine," _I nod toward her just right as Delly taps her finger against my shoulder gently. I glance down and she's grinning widely, holding onto my arm as if to stop me in my tracks. Katniss continues to walk. She wants to know if we'd like to come back to her place and play some games.

_I_ actually wouldn't mind that plan. But judging by the urgency in Katniss's tone as she signed to me moments earlier, she has just about had it for the evening.

I sigh reluctantly and shake my head no.

"_Thanks for inviting me out to dinner though," _I say, trying my hardest to smile genuinely. _"It was fun."_

"_Yeah," _she says in a way that's not entirely convincing. Her eyes cast over to where Katniss stands huddled by my car, bouncing in place to keep warm.

"_I hope I made my point tonight," _Delly signs slyly as I begin backing away toward the car. Her hands move once more, quickly, and I double take to piece her words together.

"_Maybe next time, you can ditch the escort."_

* * *

The car ride is silent as usual, only this time there is an underlying awkwardness that thickens the air. Katniss stairs out the window, rubbing her palms over her thighs unconsciously.

She directs me quietly to the house once we get back to Panem, pointing left, right or straight until we're pulling up in the front yard and I put the car into park.

We both make no attempt to move and under her coat I see her chest rise and fall solemnly.

"_Are you okay?" _I ask.

"_Are _you?"

"_What do you mean?"_

She rolls her eyes, unbuckling her belt before turning back to me, _"I saw Delly texting you all night. And all the weird glances my way. I'm not an idiot, Peeta. Have a good conversation?"_

Shit. She noticed.

I'm relieved the car is dark so she can't see how my cheeks darken and throat tightens as I try to think of a proper response to her question.

"_You don't understand."_

"_How can I if I don't know what I keep doing wrong?" _she demands, anger clear in her facial expression. _"Every time I _moved_ your entire body stiffened, like you were just waiting for me to fuck up." _

"_Katniss-"_

"_Just _tell me!" her lips are moving rapidly with her hands now, her eyebrows knitted down, eyes dangerous. _"If you're going to sit there and talk shit right in front of my face, you owe me an explanation."_

"_We weren't talking shit."_

She rolls her eyes, lips pursing, _"Then why are we having this conversation?" _

"_You just... there's a couple things that make everyone uncomfortable."_

"_Like _what?" she grits out.

"_You told me to be happy I was deaf!" _I finally get out, hands shaking with adrenaline. _"You can't say things like that!"_

"_It's not the first time."_

"_Well it needs to be the last time."_

"_Excuse me?" _she says with a raised eyebrow. _"You've never had a problem before, and now because your new friends said something, you're all offended?"_

"_It's rude!"_

"_All right, so why don't you run off with Delly, who won't make any rude comments around you, or embarrass you or any of the things I apparently do wrong."_

"_This has nothing to do with Delly-"_

"_-It has _everything _to do with her! God, Peeta you have eyes, _use them! _She's been trying since day one to rip you away from me and you're letting her."_

"_That's bullshit," _I retort, shaking my head in disagreement.

"_I know you'd rather be there right now," _she signs less aggressively, her eyes still intently focused on me however.

"_Delly isn't you, Katniss."_

She only rolls her eyes at my comment, her nose turned up toward the windshield.

"_Prove it."_

"_I'm here with you, aren't I?"_

"_Can we just go inside, please?" _she signs quickly, one foot out the door. _"My fingers are going numb." _

"_Yeah, sure," _I frown, dragging behind her as we walk up the slippery drive single-file. When my hand lands on the doorknob, it's vibrating with the music I assume blaring inside.

I glance back at Katniss before opening it up and her head is turned down. Her cheeks are still flushed and she presses a lock of hair behind her ear before looking up, probably wondering why we're still standing in the cold.

I turn quickly, my hand twisting the knob, leading us into the overly warm, nearly sticky house.

Katniss's shoulders immediately relax as we step through, which I peg as odd because typically she tightens up in these scenarios. I trail behind her as she pushes her way through the tightly packed hallway, leading to the kitchen area.

Finnick, Johanna, Gale and Madge are all standing in a circle, surrounding the small island in the center, playing with a deck of cards with a couple other people I've never seen before. There's about ten and a half empty red cups lying around them and one spills as Johanna whirls around with excitement to our arrival.

She wraps her arms around our shoulders, Katniss and I both trying to dodge the sloshing of her drink from left to right with her sloppy movements.

She _reeks_ of alcohol and offers a cup Katniss's way.

I wrinkle my nose in her direction, knowing she'll just pour it down the sink when Johanna turns around... which is why I'm shocked when she presses the cup to her lips and doesn't lower it until the contents are completely empty.

She eyes me, almost cockily before butting her way into the circle of people leaning over the table, between Finnick and Gale. I stand off to the side, no one exactly offering to include me in the game, and I'm certainly not going to beg. Especially with my "translator" pissed off at me.

_Fuck, this blows. _

I tuck my hands in my pockets and lean up against the wall. It looks like a talking game, one with a lot of instructions and rules. I probably wouldn't get it anyway.

Katniss has two more drinks throughout the course of their game, and when the small crowd disperses she shuffles from right to left on her feet clumsily, her lips turning up in a confused smile. Johanna shouts something out, high-fiving her (and missing) before they crowd into the busy living room, where people are grinding and bumping and moving consistently.

I breathe a large sigh, checking my watch.

It's barely eleven fucking thirty.

Katniss doesn't make it through the threshold of the kitchen before she turns back, waving her friends off, and grabbing another red cup. This _has_ to end. I walk up to her, feeling less ganged-up on with no one else around and grab her wrist gently, so as not to spook her.

It doesn't work, she jumps high into the air, eyes wide and frightened before she turns to see me and her lips open wide into a chuckle that runs through her body.

"_Katniss, no more. You're going to get sick. You never drink."_

"_Tonight... tonight was fucking hell, Peeta," _she admits, her defenses weakening with every chug of the drink in her hand. She fills the cup up to the brim and rolls her eyes back as she takes another drawn out sip. _"You... sucked."_

"_I know. I get it. Just, stop. Trust me, you're going to be mad with yourself in the morning if you don't."_

"_You don't tell me what to do!" _she signs, jabbing my chest roughly when she finishes. I grab her finger, only letting go when she tugs so hard I'm afraid she'll topple over. _"Why don't you just go fuck Delly? I know that's what you want to do." _

My cheeks redden at her words and I release my grip on her wrist, backing away from her. Let her fucking drink herself sick. She'll never make the same mistake twice. She turns up to me with a satisfied smirk and takes another small sip before scooting into the other room.

I last until midnight.

Midnight is when I can't take another second and realize it's time for me to take my leave. I refuse to feel bad about it too, because Katniss walked out on me just a couple weeks ago.

If I wasn't the one who drove us here, I might even consider asking Delly to come pick me up. But I did drive and as I make my way out of the busy kitchen and through the hallway, I catch sight of Katniss packed in like a sardine between a wall and some guy I've never seen. Her eyes flicker in my direction, catching sight of me and releasing a slight smirk.

Our eyes stay locked for what seems like minutes rather than seconds and I'm clearing my head turning toward the door. I notice the way she pushes the guy from her body, heading in my general direction, but I don't stop.

I've made it about half way down the lawn when a hand lands on my shoulder, trying to get me to turn around. I do, and Katniss throws her hand back, like it took so much effort to get me to face her.

She eyes me for a long moment, refusing to break the stare, though hers are glossy and distant, with the enjoyment of too much alcohol still lingering on her lips.

"_Why... you're leaving?" _she asks, throwing her hands up in the air in dramatic disbelief a moment later.

"_Don't see why you exactly care," _I respond with a sigh. I'm really more surprised than anything to find she can still even communicate. _"Go back inside and have fun with your friends, Katniss."_

"_You're my friend," _she replies, dragging her finger over the center of my chest, causing a shiver to involuntarily run down my spine. My expression softens when I grip her ever-moving hand in my own and face her sad eyes. I blow a long breath of air out in annoyance, a cloud forming past my lips from the chill outside.

"_I'll see you tomorrow, Katniss."_

I start to pull away, but her hand entwines with my own and tugs roughly until she pulls me in _incredibly _close to her own body, both hands resting on either side of my shoulders. My eyes grow wide as I can feel her chest pressed against mine and I shift awkwardly on my feet at our proximity.

Her hands snake from their spot on my shoulders up around my neck and she scratches the sensitive skin there, causing my eyes to roll involuntarily, because she's never _ever_ touched me quite like this before.

Her eyes seem to have darkened, and with a wicked smile she's pushing on my neck, moving my face closer to hers. My eyes grow heavy as our mouths move closer together and suddenly I feel the warmth and softness of her lips against mine.

I can feel my heart pounding in my chest, stomach flip-flopping consistently and even an acute spasm errupting into a tingling sensation in my lower half.

I move my hands to awkwardly rest on her hips as she pulls away for a split second, biting my lip as she does. She places a trail of kisses down my neck and I force her head away in fear of involuntarily moaning at the feelings.

I cup her face with one of my hands before directing it back to my lips, greedily. I can taste the alcohol on her, but underneath it's tangy coat is an undeniable sweetness that I just know is naturally Katniss.

It tastes just like I've imagined it would. I've dreamed of kissing her for _so long._

She pulls away softly, resting her head on my chest and moving her finger in slow circles, both of our chests rising and falling dramatically. I press my hips away from her own, hoping she can't feel the throbbing effect she currently is having on me.

She runs a hand through my hair once more and looks up to me with those twisted lips.

"_Is that all I have to do to get you to stay?" _she asks, a hint of amusement in her words and it's as if she's literally crushed me in her palm. I study her face for a long second and for completely different reasons I find myself breathing more shallowly.

All the previous feelings of frustration and anger and... embarrassment wash over my body again, replacing my previous state of arousal with a surprisingly quick case of nausea.

I have no idea how to respond to her words, so I don't. I turn quickly on my heels and don't stop until I make it to my car. I'm sure she calls after me, too drunk to realize I can't hear her, but I don't turn around to see if she's still standing there or if she too has turned and run back to her party.

How stupid am I going to get before I realize Katniss will _never_ want me in that way? It's pathetic, actually, the way she continues to string me up like a puppet, and I continue to give her exactly what she wants.

Exactly what I _thought_ she wanted.

But as much as the truth hurts, I have to admit it to myself so I know to never make this mistake again.

Katniss Everdeen is _drunk, _and _that's_ what it took for her to do those things with me.

* * *

Thank you again for anyone who left a review on the last chapter. It really means a lot to me to get some feedback from everybody :) Also, thanks to you who added me to your favorites/story alerts. It means a lot to me!

I hope everyone has a happy and safe New Year!

You can find me on tumblr (**ivegotthesclaf**) or twitter (**passtheheroin**) if you'd like to follow me. Thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

A big thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve: In Which There is (Another) Meltdown **

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_January 2013 (The morning after)_

Aw, shit.

The second my eyelids flutter open, there's a consistent pulsing that settles behind them. Although the room is as dark as possible, the little bit of sun that shines through the closed curtains has my head throbbing in protest.

What the hell did I do last night?

My body is caked with sweat, pressed against the wall and Johanna's limp body. Her arm is thrown over my back, face pressed right against mine as she snores loudly in my ear. Her one leg is bent up in between us, kneeing me in the back and the other dangles off the side of the bed.

The sheets hold the foul stench of alcohol and vomit residue, and as I attempt to raise my body into a sitting position, my head pounds uncomfortably, like my brain is being smashed with a thousand hammers at once. I grab my skull suddenly, desperate to will the dizziness away.

I crawl over Johanna, who might as well be a rock the way she doesn't even flinch when my weak arms give out and I land on top of her leg, and try to locate my phone... or pants, even. I don't even remember how I ended up at Johanna's, just puking my guts out alongside her around three or four this morning.

I never want another alcoholic drink for as long as I live.

I find my phone, scattered by my jeans which are twisted inside out and lay haphazardly on her bedroom floor. I pull it out, surprised to see no new messages. Not even _one_ from Peeta.

"Well, what the hell did you expect, Everdeen?" I question myself with a low grumble, more used to talking out loud when addressing myself than inside my mind.

I wasn't so drunk as to have forgotten _everything _that happened last night, and embarrassment flushes my cheeks as I recall the way I pulled Peeta into my embrace and kissed him for the first time. I remember him pulling away after I said something to him... what did I say? Something to upset him, obviously.

But the look in his eyes, something about the way he stared at me in pure awe for the few moments after the kiss, tells me he liked it.

I wouldn't be lying if I said I liked it, too. The way his lips felt almost cool against my warm ones and the small noises that fell from his lips with surprise and what I _think _was pleasure.

I'm still clutching my phone, waiting for a reply when my mind wanders back to the entire reason I overindulged anyway, which of course was his fault. I'll admit that I felt a fair amount of jealousy throughout the course of the evening, but when I noticed the pattern between Delly's looks, her phone moving, Peeta checking his phone, and then looking to me, rage began to settle in.

Because how dare he? By the time we slipped into the kitchen that evening, I was in desperate need for something to loosen me up and take my mind away from the events earlier in the evening.

"He's never mentioned it before," I hiss to no one in particular as I try recalling a time that he's ever voiced his annoyance for the way I act. My phone lighting up as I plug it into the wall sparks recollection in me, to a couple weeks ago, when he felt I wasn't paying proper attention...

* * *

_December 31, 2012_

_Peeta is sitting on the edge of my bed, talking about how stressed out he is over midterms, when in actuality he should be getting ready to leave. We're supposed to be meeting everyone for dinner around six o'clock before heading over to Johanna's house to hang out and watch the ball drop at midnight, like we do each year. _

_With only an hour to spare, I'm not exactly in a position to be consoling him over exams he knows he'll pass with flying colors. _

"I don't feel like I've even learned anything in history..."

_My phone vibrates beside me on the bed and I pick it up, seeing that the message is from Madge. _

"You'll do fine,"_ I respond quickly, glancing over Madge's message, asking if we've left yet._

Yes_, I lie, right as another message comes in, this one from Finnick listing all the food items I should pick up for this evening. _

_I'm practically jabbing my reply into my phone when Peeta waves a hand in front of my face. _

"Are you ready to go?"_ I ask him, cutting off his ramblings. His face hardens and he shrugs his shoulders with a nod. I narrow my eyes at him momentarily before tossing a pair of socks in his direction, which he catches._

"Do you know what-"

_My phone vibrates on the bed again in the middle of his sentence, and quickly I glance down at it. It's Madge again, so with a sigh I pick it up to answer, growing more frustrated by the minute. _

_I've barely opened the message from Madge when the phone is smacked away from my hands and hurtled to the ground. It lands with a thud and bounces once before landing backside up. _

_I look to Peeta and see his eyes trained intently on me, his irises darkened and hands resting in the mess of blankets underneath us. My breath catches in my throat and I'm not sure whether I'm more annoyed or aroused._

"_Look _at me, would you?" _he demands and it's definitely another odd wave of arousal that shoots through my stomach at the way his jaw clenches and veins in his thick hands bulge. _

_In the end, annoyance outweighs the misplaced horniness and I silently curse myself as I snatch my phone and glare in his direction disgustedly. _

"How am I supposed to talk if you're always looking away?" _he questions, shortly after throwing his hands through his hair in frustration. _

"I was paying attention."

"You were not," _he argues. _

"All right, you have my attention."

_The phone between our bodies flashes brightly, catching both our attention._

"Just whatever, Katniss."

* * *

I wonder to myself how long these emotions have been welling inside of him, forcing themselves up now because of his refusal to just tell me when he first began feeling them.

The screen on my phone grows dark and when I click it to check the time, I realize I've been sitting on Johanna's floor, half naked and zoning in and out of reality for nearly twenty minutes. There's still no reply from Peeta.

It's nearing nine in the morning and text message or not, I'll be needing to get home soon... but not with the stench of stale booze and puke lingering on my skin. My teeth have that fuzzy feel to them, and when I lift my arm up to run a hand through my hair, the foul whiff I get is enough to make my uneasy stomach turn.

Johanna lives with her mother and father, but by nine in the morning her father is long gone to work (he might as well live there, Johanna has told me multiple times, he's always at work or sleeping) and her mother is most likely still passed out like Johanna.

I tiptoe down the hallway, not wanting to disturb the family, and lock the bathroom door tightly behind me. In a small cabinet right behind the door are three shelving units of plump towels. I pluck one from the top and turn the hot water on high waiting for the steam to rise, staining the mirrors before slipping out of my loose garments and into the warm spray of the shower.

It feels heavenly against my knotted muscles and sore throat, and I breathe in the mist through my nose with a deep inhale. I languidly run my fingers through my hair, mixing different shampoos and conditioners before lathering my body with a citrus-smelling scrub Johanna swears by. It's expensive, but she'll be too hung over to remember or even care that I used it, really.

When I can no longer stall in the shower, I turn off the water, my skin pebbling with goosebumps until I can wrap the large towel around my body, teeth still chattering for a long minute before my temperature adjusts.

I skip underwear, only having my dirty pair which I fling into a plastic bag, along with the undershirt I sweat through, and keep the towel around my body until I can snatch something from Jo's room. She's not too much bigger than I am.

I borrow her deodorant and toothpaste too, dabbing a little onto my pointer finger just so the taste of ass wouldn't linger until I got home, and then re-emerged from the bathroom.

The hallway is just as dead as it had been when I first snuck through and I race back to Johanna's room. When I shut the door, leaning up against it, the slight noise from the lock is what jolts Jo from her sleep. She jumps a mile high into the air and then groans loudly in protest, gripping her forehead.

"I know you got me drunk, and I hate you," I tease, my hair dripping into a miniature puddle on her wooden floors.

Johanna snickers, falling back onto the bed as her chest rises and falls heavily.

"You didn't hate me last night. In fact, if I remember correctly by the end of drink number three you were calling it 'forget shit juice.'"

I smirk, kicking the mattress with the base of my foot, eliciting another moan from her rock-like form.

"Don't make me get up, Katniss," she whines.

"You need to," I chide. "I have to get home."

"Right now?"

"Yes. I've been gone all night," I say, shaking the bunched legs of my jeans out and slipping them under the towel. "I know my mother doesn't seem to worry too much about me, but Prim does."

I root through her closet and pull a simple sweatshirt off the hanger, slipping it over the top half of my body before combing my fingers through my hair.

She sits up slowly, her short hair spiked out in every direction as she yawns loudly and shakes her head, eyes widening as she tries to rid them from sleep.

"Well, aren't you the efficient drunk?" she snickers, pulling at the strap of her shirt that falls down her shoulder a second later. I watch as she eyes me, pulling my hair into a messy braid and bending over to collect my things.

"I'm borrowing your sweatshirt," I mention and she shrugs, pulling a robe over herself before motioning to the door.

"Let's go, I want to come home and get back in bed before my mom wakes up and makes me do shit."

"Thanks, Johanna."

"Yeah, yeah," she waves me off with the flick of her hand before bursting into a small round of giggles, "You're a hilarious drunk, Kat."

"Don't get used to it," I snort, slipping on my shoes as she flings the front door open. We both squint at the reflection of the pure white snow under the suns haze and Johanna pats the counter top until her hand rests on a pair of sunglasses.

"Mother of fucking pearl," she groans, slipping them over her eyes. A cold wind blisters over our body as we climb into her car and wait for it to heat up. Our breath comes out in small clouds before us until the heat sets in and she speeds down the street.

"So, you never told me what happened at that dinner thing anyway," she says casually, and I hope she doesn't notice the way my hand grips the handle beside me, my knuckles white as she turns another corner sharply. Good thing no one is awake in our sleepy town yet.

"Nothing out of the normal," I sigh. "Peeta just doesn't see his new friends the way I do."

"You'd think it'd work out perfectly," she says, almost to herself. "You all speak sign fluently. I mean, are they prejudiced against you for being able to hear? Because that's just as bad as if you were toward them for not being able to."

"They're not prejudiced," I frown. I mean, _most_ of them aren't anyway. Annie, Rue, Thresh, they've never had a problem with me, only Delly. And personally, I think her problem has little to do with my hearing, and everything to do with wanting Peeta for herself.

I'm the thing standing in her way. The thing that needs to be eliminated from the equation for her to get her happy ending. Hearing or no hearing, that doesn't change.

We pull up in front of my house and my heart drops as I register Peeta's car sitting off to the side of the road in front of our house.

"Is that..."

"Yeah," I say, my hand on the door handle already. He's _here? _I hadn't expected to see him until I went over to his place later today and forced him to talk with me. I'm out of the car without another thought, and it's only after I'm halfway up the lawn that I register Johanna, still sitting in her car.

She pushes the window down, an arched eyebrow peeking over the top of her sunglasses when I knock on the glass.

"Uh... thanks for the ride and letting me stay the night. Sorry."

"Anytime, Kat. Text me later, you know... after..." she glances off to Peeta's car behind hers.

"Yeah, I will."

She speeds off and I trek back through the snow, careful to step in the spots my feet have already made, so as not to get more snow down inside my soaking socks.

When I turn the door open, the house inside is quiet, the only indicator of life being the soft sound of a glass hitting the table in the dining room. I walk briskly through the kitchen, nearly falling on my ass with my slippery shoes and expect to see Peeta when I peek through, but it's just Mom.

Our eyes meet and she gives a terse nod in my direction, lifting the mug of coffee to her lips once more.

"Peeta is here," she informs me, instead of demanding to know where I've been or why I didn't call.

"I know. I saw his car. I was at Johanna's."

"Did he know? He's been here for hours."

"Where is he?" I ask instead of answering her own questions and she points her finger toward the ceiling, indicating my bedroom. I kick off my shoes and head for the stairs, breathing easily through my mouth and trying to calm my nerves, put together a speech of words I'd like to say before we start fighting or tension grows to unbearable levels again.

_Everything is going to be okay._

I'm not sure what I expect when I push the door to my room open, but I hadn't expected to find Peeta huddled in a ball under a layer of thin blankets. His soft snores fill the room as I shut the door behind me, and I can see his side rising and falling with each languid breath.

His phone sits on my nightstand, on top of one of our old notebooks I know wasn't laying there before I left yesterday. One quick glance at the device has me realizing he wasn't ignoring my messages out of anger, but of sleep. All three flash to the screen.

When I climb into bed, attempting to get comfortable, I end up jostling it quite a bit. Peeta jumps awake at the sudden movements, surprising me into falling back, nearly tumbling off the mattress. He must have hardly been asleep, because he never wakes up that easily.

Realization dawns on his features that it's only me and he grabs hold of my arm to help me steady myself.

"_Only me," _I tease, patting his forearm as he draws his hands back from me, like I'm made of fire.

"_I didn't expect to see you here."_

"_I... decided to stay, thinking you'd probably come back and might... need someone. I was up when the sun rose, but I guess I fell asleep shortly after," _he admits sheepishly, the bluish bags under his eyes indicating his late night.

"_I wish you hadn't stayed up to wait," _I frown, unable to ignore the rush of what I can only describe as butterflies that soar through my stomach with his explanation.

His eyes meet mine and he gives a gentle shrug of his shoulders. I let out a tired yawn before wiping the tears that form in the corner of my eyes. Both our heads hit the pillows below us, and I watch as Peeta's eyes begin to flutter closed again.

I nudge him before he can fall back asleep and he turns his head quickly in my direction, eyes glazed.

"_I stayed the night at Johanna's."_

"_Oh." _

"_I'm sorry."_

"_For what?" _he questions, eyebrows furrowed just slightly.

"_For making you worry... for... everything," _I finally respond, unable to categorize it in another way. I _am_ sorry for everything: the worrying, the fighting, the kiss...

He leans on his elbow; body tilted in my direction and rests a hand on my cheek, rubbing it tenderly for a long second while shaking his head from left to right.

"_I don't want you to be sorry," _he signs ambiguously, eyes focused on mine intently.

My heart pounds heavily in my chest, making it hard to swallow the increasing amount of saliva that fills my mouth. I watch as his lips turn up into a careful and somewhat timid smile, and a messy array of emotions hit me _hard. _

The realization that after everything yesterday he's still here in my bed, smiling at me and running a finger through my hair has me staring back at him with narrowed eyes and lips pressed into a tight line, studying him, wondering over and over to myself _why?_

His eyes watch me carefully as well, as he presses my stubborn bangs behind my ear for me. I take his hand in my own, resting it against my pillow and curling in closer to him, until I can rest my head on his chest.

Being this close to him, breathing in his scent, feeling his heartbeat in my ear, it dawns on me just how close we came to fucking things up beyond repair.

"_I... I can't lose you," _I say sincerely to him, twisting my body so I'm looking right into his wide, blue orbs. His lips are parted just slightly and his throat bobs as he swallows deeply. My hand snakes up and around his torso, landing to the spot between his ear and neck and digging my nails into the fine hairs there, slowly moving my lips closer to his own.

My eyes shut on their own accord, though I'm not sure if it's out of fatigue from the previous evening or because I'm leaning in to kiss him for the second time in twenty-four hours.

I expect to meet his lips shortly, but instead I feel his thick finger press itself against my lips. My eyes open just wide enough to make Peeta out and as I stare at him through sleepy blinks, the look of piercing sadness in his eyes growing deeper.

The finger pressed to my lips rubs them tenderly, his thumb stroking the small valley of skin between my nose and upper lip, lulling my head back onto his chest.

"_But," _I protest weakly, digging my chin into him as I turn one last time to meet his eyes. They're glossy, but he smiles, shaking his head.

"_Not today, Katniss."_

* * *

_January 2013 (One and a half weeks later: Present Day) _

"_Hi, A-N-N-I-E. How are you doing today?" _Finnick signs, speaking slowly in time with his hands. He looks up to me bashfully, his smile increasing as he sees the pleased look on my face.

"That was awesome, Finnick!"

"You think so?"

I nod enthusiastically, "Now, once you and Annie have established a relationship, even just as acquaintances, she'll give you something sort of like a nickname," I explain, "Something about you that stands out to her and will help her to remember you."

"Like, _stunningly good looks and charming personality?"_

"Umm... maybe? But, it's only because it's easier to use a describing word than it is to sign out each letter of a person's name every single time you speak with them."

"So, wait, when you and Peeta talk you aren't saying his name, ever?"

I shrug, shaking my head, "No, not really."

"What do you say?"

My face darkens as I shift in my seat. It's no secret, the "code-names" Peeta and I have come up with for one another, but a part of me feels like I'm almost sharing something too personal or intimate with a stranger by telling him.

But he's waiting expectantly with that big goofy grin plastered on his face and I sigh heavily.

"Peeta calls me 'Brown Braid' and I call him 'Blue Eyes'."

"Real creative," Finnick scoffs and I roll my eyes, shoving his arm playfully as he bursts into laughter.

"I was in the fifth grade when I started learning sign, Finnick."

"No excuses, Everdeen! Unlike you two losers, Annie and I are going to put some _thought_ into our description names, seeing as it's what we'll be calling one another for the rest of our lives."

I still haven't told Finnick that Annie can read lips fairly well. I just know if I tell him too soon, he'll start slacking at our ASL meetings before eventually stopping them all together, and at this point I can't allow him to do that.

Finnick is a sweet guy, always has been... but he's a girl-hopper. He hasn't liked the same girl for more than two weeks at any given time - before Annie, that is. It's been nearly two months since we first met Annie, and Finnick is basing his feelings off of one visit to Peeta's school, and the things he's forced me into telling him about her since.

I keep telling him it wouldn't be so hard to invite her over every once and a while and she'd probably be more than happy to come, but he always refuses, turning a shade of pink I'm not used to seeing him.

"I just want to be ready, you know? I don't want her to laugh at me," were his words to me exactly, if I do recall correctly.

"So," Finnick says, snapping me out of my inner thoughts, "Peeta was the one who taught you sign, right?"

I nod.

"What's the first thing he taught you?"

He's leaning back into the couch now and pulls one leg to rest over the other, like he's waiting for me to tell him some grand story.

"If you still remember, that is," he says a moment later when I fail to respond.

"Of course I remember," I say, defensive of his accusatory tone. "You've never heard this story before?"

"No."

I guess I should have known that. I don't exactly go spreading around this particular story, like most between Peeta and I, and naturally it's not like Peeta has told anyone either.

"Technically, Peeta wasn't supposed to know about me learning sign language," I begin, speaking with the most official tone I can muster. I tell him the whole thing, about how I was planning to surprise him by saying my first sentence in sign, but he ended up surprising _me_ by catching me off guard watching the videotapes.

The only phrases I had learned before he helped me out were dealing with construction working, and I was more than a little confused.

"He told me I needed to start out simpler," I smirk, recalling Peeta's boyish face, flush from the cold winds outside, his expression one of awe that I had even been taking the time to learn _any _sign.

"And then, I don't know, he just showed me how to say I love you and..._what?" _I stop mid-sentence when Finnick can no longer contain the smile that stretches fully to his lips.

"Fuck you Finnick, this is why I didn't want to tell you."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he apologizes, hands waving in front of me as if to keep me from getting angry, "Continue."

"That's it," I say, frowning, before recalling the last detail of the memory.

"I told him that everyone knew that sign," I snicker, shaking my head. "And I held my fingers up to prove it, and then made him do the same." As I speak, I take Finnick's hand in my own and curl his middle and ring finger down, forcing him to make the sign.

"Then, we connected them," I smile distantly, and the hand in front of mine is Peeta's small one, reaching out to connect the tips three fingers sticking upward.

"I saw the kiss."

I'm lunged back into reality with Finnick's words and jolt my hand away from his own, face tingling.

"What kiss? What?" I demand, flustered, although how many kisses could he possibly be referring to? He humors me, however, and plays along with my antics, leaning in closer to me.

"I saw you run outside and was worried about you. I didn't realize you were chasing after Peeta."

I can't even look at him, so I stare at my shaking hands which lay like limp fish in my lap. My entire body feels like it's on fire at the realization that someone _saw. _How many other people saw if Finnick saw?

"Shit."

"Did you mean it?"

"What?" I say, my head snapping up to face him.

"When you kissed him... did you mean it?"

"I was drunk, Finnick," I sigh.

"So? I didn't ask that, I asked if _you meant it. _I mean, if you two want to continue to play this weird game of cat and mouse go right ahead, but you're basically together anyway. Might as well make it official."

My expression must match my inner dialogue as I ask myself what the hell he's talking about, to myself, because he rolls his eyes dramatically.

"You two sleep in the same bed every fucking night, Kat. Don't tell me you expect me to think nothing has ever happened."

* * *

_September 2009 _

"_I just... I hate being there, you know? All Mom does is cry and break things. The only reason I go home is because of Prim, but these past couple of nights I've sent her to a friend's house," _I explain to Peeta, curled in his embrace as he idly runs his fingers through my hair, a mask of pain painting his features.

"_Stay here the night."_

I've only slept over at Peeta's house twice before, both circumstances being when we were much younger. The first instance was when we were in the fifth grade, and Peeta had been teaching me sign language. It had been a particularly hard lesson and both of us ended up passed out and sprawled across his bed.

I woke up the next morning wrapped in a blanket Mr. Mellark must have thrown over on the top of me the night before.

The next time was only a year or so later, during Christmas vacation when I had literally been snowed into the Mellark home during a horrible storm. We spent most the night complaining about how it was unfair to get a storm while we were _already on _vacation and how we were robbed of a snow day.

Mr. Mellark made hot chocolate and Rye, Bannock, Peeta and I made a fort out of old blankets and the dining room chairs, staying up well past midnight to watch movies and eat enough popcorn to make Rye throw up.

"_Yeah, right," _I snort, wiping away the remainder of embarrassing tears. I hadn't intended to cry today. It's been five days since Father's funeral, and I thought my tear ducts had dried up by now. But once Peeta and I began talking about everything, the tears welled up and refused to stop.

As if his ears were ringing, Mr. Mellark opened Peeta's door, sticking his head through to ask if I was planning to stay for dinner.

"_Can Katniss spend the night?" _Peeta asks suddenly, before I have time to grab his hands and stop him. Mr. Mellark's eyes widen as he looks back between Peeta and I, innocently stretched out across his bed with pathetic faces.

"Uh..." Mr. Mellark says, running a hand over the back of his neck with uncertainty. _"What does your mother think about this?" _he signs as he asks me.

"_She wouldn't even notice if I _was_ home,"_ I frown and Peeta watches me with intensity.

"_Just the night?"_

It's clear on Mr. Mellark's features he's debating how to go about telling his deaf son that his only friend (whose father has just passed) cannot spend the night. He chews on his lip nervously, looking between the two of us and I actually pity the man.

I can't help but wonder if he's thinking about what his wife might do in this situation. To make matters worse, Peeta leans over and wipes a stray tear that has somehow escaped my eye.

It doesn't go past Mr. Mellark's notice.

"_I don't see the harm in one night," _he reluctantly agrees and Peeta's and my own face stretch into smiles.

"What's going on here?" Rye's voice booms from the hallway, and a moment later he's shimmied his way into the room, biting into a cheese stick.

"Katniss is going to stay here the night. It's uh... a little rough at home," Mr. Mellark explains, turning back into the hall, his question of dinner already answered.

Rye turns to us unbelieving before scoffing loudly in protest, "I never get to have girls sleepover!"

"This is a special circumstance, Rye," Mr. Mellark explains, his footsteps heavy on the stairs.

"_Douche-bag!" _he signs toward Peeta, flying out the room a second later. Peeta lets out a breathily chuckle and I smile a little in his direction, resting my hand on top of his delicately.

"_First planned sleepover," _he tries to be enthusiastic, but ends up just pulling me into his arms.

"_It's going to be okay."_

* * *

Peeta falls asleep before I do, leaving me to stare off in the direction of the door, my hands tucked up under one of the pillows that smells strongly of him.

He snores in his sleep, which I find fascinating, and every once and a while he releases a gentle sigh. I listen to his night noises, the ones he'd never make if he were conscious, and find my body moving closer into his, as if to hear better.

Peeta's room is brighter than mine, even with the majority of lights off. He has four night lights lined across his room, which when I first discovered he was embarrassed about.

"_I'm not afraid of the dark or anything," _he explains nervously. _"It's just that... if something were to happen, like a fire or emergency... or even just needing to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, it makes it easier."_

My heart begins to beat rapidly when Peeta's arm flings over the top of me, slowly moving closer into me until his front is flush against my backside. I feel his breath on the nape of my neck as he nuzzles his face in closer, letting out a content sigh.

If sleep was far off before, it's miles away now. All I can focus on is the feeling of Peeta's breath on me, his chest pressed right against my back, pressing into my shoulders...

He adjusts in his position a little more and with another content sigh presses his hips into my butt. I jump, silently cursing myself as he shifts and keeping so still my muscles begin to ache, until I'm sure he's peacefully sleeping again.

It's the first time I've ever felt it, but I know exactly what _it_ is when I feel something hard and pulsing slightly bump into my butt.

I feel my entire body stinging with embarrassment as a rush of excitement rushes through my veins at the sensation. Slowly, so as not to wake him (or make him move away) I press myself further into his embrace, his erection moving up the small of my back as I sandwich between his hips and mine.

I find sleep somehow, and wake up early in the morning to the feel of sudden jolting off to the side of the bed. I glance over at Peeta, whose face is red as a tomato, and watch as he scrambles to cover up his lap.

"_It's early," _he finally signs nervously to me, watching my every move. _"You should go back to sleep."_

"_You too," _I challenge, patting the spot next to me. _"You were keeping me warm."_

He swallows heavily, bunching the covers around his hips up in his fists.

"_Peeta," _I begin, not exactly looking at him, but the wall off in the distance behind him. _"It's okay."_

Somehow my two words translate in his mind and his eyes grow wider in embarrassment. What I don't tell him is that I had actually enjoyed the way he felt up against me. Of course I would never.

"_I am so sorry Katniss. It just... happens. Shit. I didn't mean to ruin our sleepover."_

"_You didn't ruin it," _I assure him, and he pulls back as I sit up beside him, taking his hand in my own.

"_It's normal, and I don't care."_

* * *

_January 2013_

Since that night, I'm unable to count how many times I've felt Peeta hard against me throughout the night, but other than those unconscious occasions, Finnick is wrong to assume anything else has happened.

I avoid Finnick's question, because if I simply answer with a 'no' he won't believe me anyway, and I'm certainly not going to share something that private with _him._

"Shut up, Finnick," I frown and he chuckles to himself.

"So, where is Lover Boy anyway?"

I think about his question for a long moment before realization sets into my body that I haven't the faintest clue where Peeta is.

I _always_ know where Peeta is, but I haven't even seen him since last weekend when I climbed into bed with him the morning after I kissed him.

I don't tell Finnick how I consciously tried kissing him again.

And how he blocked it.

And how he was gone when I woke up.

I've only seen him a handful of times since, while working in the bakery. The one time I managed to work up the courage to ask him what he was doing later that evening, he made up a pretty lame excuse about not feeling so well and planning to head to bed right away.

But other than that, it's as if he's dropped off the face of the planet.

Finnick notices my distant stare and frowns, patting my knee cap gently.

"It'll be okay."

"I just want this protest to be done and over with," I snap, thinking about how this time next week, the protest will be finished, having aired on television and possibly we'll have all the signatures we need.

This time next week, we could be in a position to have Peeta back at school.

That is, if he still _wants_ to.

"Of course he'll want to, Kat," Finnick assures me. I must have spoken that last part out loud.

"I just can't wait for things to go back to normal, you know?"

Finnick raises an eyebrow, shrugging his shoulders, "Doesn't seem to me like you want things to go back to normal _completely."_

"Shut up," I sigh. "You're still planning to talk to the reporters, right?"

"Of course," he nods, grabbing his book bag off the ground and standing up from the couch. Finnick came over right after school for a quick ASL lesson, but will need to get home for a little bit before everyone comes back over to make t-shirts and posters for the protest on Monday.

"But you know," he mentions, one foot out the door already. "I think you should be the one to talk."

"Not a chance in hell, Odair," I protest. "I hate public speaking."

* * *

It's a little after six and the sky has grown pitch black above. With no clouds up above, it's the first night in weeks the stars are visible through the window.

Prim and I have spent the past half an hour clearing out the living room and setting down tarps and things for everyone to do painting on.

"Do you think Peeta might draw something on my shirt, too?" Prim asks, holding up a small light pink shirt.

"Maybe. If his hands don't get too tired," I shrug, placing my own t-shirt down on top of the tarp. "He probably won't mind."

I'm sure he hasn't forgotten, but something in my mind urges me to text Peeta and remind him about this evening.

_How could he have forgotten about his own protest? _I chide myself as my fingers busily type out a message to him, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. We haven't talked since Wednesday and even that was limited conversation, like we barely knew each other instead of being best friends for years.

_Are you on your way over? _The message sounds friendly enough. I notice Prim cast a look in my direction and I try to smile like my heart isn't beating rapidly inside my chest.

My phone vibrates and it's as if my throat has fallen into my stomach. The reply is short, but enough to make me feel sick.

_Can't. Have plans._

The doorbell rings just as I've read the message for the fifth time over, and Prim sighs loudly in the living room before pushing past me to get it, murmuring something about me being rude.

Johanna, Finnick, Gale and Madge all file in together, stomping their feet along the mat to rid their boots of excess snow. I don't miss the way Madge and Gale's hands are intertwined as they step further in.

"All right, let's get this party started!" Johanna shouts out, waving a bag of bulk food candy around in her hand.

"Wait a minute," Madge says, glancing around the empty house. "Where the hell is Peeta?"

"He, uh... he can't make it tonight."

Everyone quietly turns their gazes to me, looks of confusion and anger mixing on their expressions as they fight to find words.

"What the fuck do you mean he can't _make it," _Johanna finally spits, arms folded over her middle. "News flash, this entire thing is for _him."_

"I know, I know, uh..." I'm not sure why I feel the need to defend him, I'm just as confused and angered by his message as the rest of them are, but there's a distinct build in my stomach as I fight to find words.

"I'm sorry," I finally frown, but the mood has already shifted as everyone straggles into living room lazily.

"It's all right," Gale is the first to attempt positivity. "It'll just be a surprise when he sees them in person now."

I smile at his attempt, and it seems to brighten the others' expressions just a little as Finnick chimes in that we can still have a fun evening.

"Where's the paint, Kat?"

Oh, shit. The paint.

I feel actual tears begin to well up in my eyes with the pure frustration coursing through my body at that particular moment and Finnick's easy smile turns to a look of horror.

"Peeta was supposed to bring the paint," I manage to spit out, blinking rapidly because I _refuse_ to cry over damn paint.

A chorus of grumbles sound over the room and I feel about five inches tall.

"Don't worry, Kat and I will run to the store and get some paint," Finnick says, jumping up from his spot on the ground.

"I'm coming too," Johanna insists, "I need to make sure you get good paints."

"I'm an artist, Jo," Finnick scoffs.

"No, you're an idiot who for some reason decided to take an art class."

"Thank you," I sigh, relieved to see that everyone isn't instantly ready to throw in the towel like I figured they might. Sure they care about Peeta and in an odd way, he is their friend. But having the type of relationship they do with him, it's hard to really _know_ him and for the most part, they're friends with him through me.

I mean, these are the people who wouldn't leave a movie for him just a little over a month ago.

Finnick ends up driving, and although I can hear the quiet whispers between Jo and him in the front, I pretend not to and sit quietly, looking out the window the entire way to the store.

As we're walking into the store, I get a message from Gale asking if I could pick up something delicious (and nutritious) for a snack, since Madge won't eat Johanna's gummy worms.

_Sure, _I reply shortly, forcing myself not to be annoyed by Madge's picky eating habits since they have all sacrificed their time and effort to be here, for me and I guess for Peeta as well.

I relay the message to Finnick and Johanna who respond that they'll go check out the paints while I get the snack, if I'd like. I don't care what we do, and I'd much rather be efficient than stay all together and take twice as long.

I head towards produce and am checking out how yellow the bananas seem, when I notice straight ahead with her back turned to me is Delly. My stomach proceeds to do back flips, and I wish I could shrink down without her noticing.

Of all fucking nights, it had to be _tonight _that I run into her, when I'm borderline falling apart, for her to watch.

When she turns her head, our eyes meet awkwardly and as much as my mind is telling me just to run in the opposite direction, I force my legs forward and plaster a fake smile to my face.

My hands hold a tight grip on the cart I have as I notice the pompous smirk lacing Delly's features.

"_Hello, Delly," _I begin when she refuses to, and I note the way her eyes narrow in my direction.

"_Hi, Katniss. How are you?"_

"_Fine. You?"_

"_I'm fantastic," _she signs enthusiastically. _"I hope you're not mad we stole Peeta tonight. We just thought he could use a little time away from that whole... scene."_

I'm more alert at the sound of his name, trying to control my features when she mentions he's with her and whoever else is there. My grip on the cart tightens almost painfully.

"_As long as he's having fun," _I try remaining pleasant, but I just want to smack her when she begins bobbing her head up and down.

"_Oh, he is. I think it's great that he's branching out and starting to hang out with people who understand him a little better. I mean, you guys were great friends, don't get me wrong, but the difference is just amazing."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean in Peeta. He told me last night about he feels so awkward around you guys a lot of the time, left out really. And no one is blaming you; I know it's hard to remember not everyone has the gift of hearing-"_

"_-I've never forgotten about Peeta." _I cut her off, my face stone cold. _"Ever."_

She shrugs her shoulders, a tight little smirk still dancing on her face.

"_I'm just saying what he said. He said he prefers our company, personally."_

I want so badly to believe she's lying, but the odds against her statement weren't stacked in my favor. Peeta hasn't talked to me hardly any in the past couple of days, canceled the plans he always has with us each Friday and hasn't returned my text messages today, except to tell me he couldn't make it this evening.

The sting that lands in the center of my chest is so painful I nearly double over.

"_It's cute you've been friends so long," _Delly continues, oblivious to my inner turmoil, or maybe secretly enjoying it. _"But it's time to let him go, Katniss."_

I stare at the bitch in front of me with her last words.

"_I think you need him more than he needs you."_

* * *

"I can't believe you went to the grocery store and got a damn date," Gale snickers to himself, shaking his head from left to right before taking a bite of Madge's banana.

"Yup! I saw her in the aisle and was like, you know what? Fuck this! I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to talk to her."

"He had this revelation _after_ he made an ass of himself," Johanna teases, forcing everyone into laughter around me.

I've been trying to stencil out these hands for a half an hour, but I'd be kidding myself if I thought they'd turn out half as good as Peeta's would. Again, I erase the marks on my t-shirt and sigh.

"How was I supposed to know she could talk? Katniss, did you know deaf people can talk? Peeta can probably talk, too!"

"He can't, Finnick," I say through gritted teeth.

Peeta was at the grocery store with that entire group, with Annie and Delly and all the rest of them. He wasn't in the same aisle as Annie when Finnick and Johanna ran into her, but we passed by one another awkwardly while I was basically running to get out of the store.

He ditched _me_ to hang out with _her._

"Then Annie must be some sort of deaf wizard or something," he continues on the others shooting down his theories before he can barely think them. Apparently, the jig is up about Annie's ability to lip read. She caught Finnick freaking out to Johanna about if he should talk to her or not and responded that he _should_ just talk to her.

The entire scenario would have been hilarious in any other circumstance.

"She invited me to hang out with her Sunday. Any chance you might have time for one more impromptu sign lesson, Kat?"

Our "secret sign language" meetings are out in the open now as well too. Which means if Peeta and I were on speaking terms, I'd be able to ask him to help out Finnick. He'd be a better teacher than I am.

"Sure," I grumble.

"You know, I think these shirts are coming together pretty fucking nicely, if I do say so myself," Johanna smiles, snapping a picture of hers with her phone.

"Yeah, I think this protest is going to be epic, who knows maybe-"

I cut Gale's ramblings off with a loud grunt as I throw a small can of paint onto my shirt. It drips down the front of it, staining the white cotton dark blue.

The room is quiet, and for the second time tonight, everyone's eyes are on me in bewilderment.

"Don't you fucking get it?" I hiss, kicking one of the drying signs to which everyone lets out a sharp gasp. "This is bullshit."

"Katniss, stop-"

"Look around!" I'm screaming now, hysteria fully set into my bones as I shake in my spot. "He's not even here. Peeta doesn't give a damn about this protest. He doesn't want to come back."

"Katniss, it's one night," Johanna tries, but I'm already heading for the stairs leading up to my room.

It's not one night. It's not going to be all right. Peeta chose his new friends over us, which to me makes his choice about the schools pretty clear. They didn't read his message, they have no idea what the hell is going on or what _has_ been going on.

Besides Finnick.

I slam my door shut and sink to my knees seconds later, rocking back on my heels.

As time passes, I can hear everyone downstairs begin to disperse out the door, and am relieved that no one comes upstairs to say goodbye, or check on me, or any of that kind of bullshit.

I sit on my bed, staring at nothing but the wall in front of me, until Prim opens the door just wide enough to drop something onto the floor of my room.

Curiosity outweighs annoyance, and hesitantly I crawl off the bed to pick up the balled up shirt on the ground. The paint has dried, leaving a lovely blue stain falling down the center. I stare at it for a long moment before throwing it into the corner, behind my door.

I'm too disgusted with it, and myself, and _everything _to stare at it any longer.

* * *

Thank you all for sticking with me even though I'm sure you're ready to murder me right about now. I do ask one favor, and that is please wait until ch.13 to make your judgements on Peeta. Your feedback/adds to story alerts and favorites really do mean a lot to me!

If you want to, you can follow me on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) or twitter (passtheheroin) thanks!


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

A special thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: In Which Peeta is Jealous**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_January 2013 (Friday)_

"_What the hell did you do to Katniss?" _Rye corners me in the kitchen to ask. His arms fold over his middle once he's finished signing, as if I owed him any sort of explanation at all.

I'm sure this must be just as weird for my family as it has been for me (and possibly Katniss), but what Rye doesn't understand is that talking about it is only going to make it worse.

I take my time pouring my orange juice, and can feel the annoyance radiating off of Rye as he impatiently taps his foot off to the right of me.

"_I didn't do anything to Katniss," _I frown at his accusatory tone. _"We've been...busy."_

I haven't told Rye about the kiss, and the "almost" kiss that followed along less than twenty-four hours later. I didn't tell him because I knew he'd just turn into an ass about it and end up making the situation worse somehow.

I thought about telling Bannock more than I did Rye, if for nothing else than for some sort of brotherly advice in how to go about the situation. But Bannock (the complete opposite of Rye) would only have flushed red and danced around the questions.

I sigh internally at my brothers' hopelessness.

"_Bullshit you've been busy," _Rye scoffs, eyebrows slanted in accusatorially. _"You've just been moping around the house the past two days."_

Fuck him.

"_For your information, I'm on my way over right now," _I say, challengingly to him before rinsing out the cup with soap and water, placing it back in the cupboard.

"_Well damn, about time!"_

"_When are you going to learn to mind your own fucking business?" _I question as I slip on my shoes and he snickers, his lips opened wide to flash a set of beaming teeth.

"_I probably won't be here when you get back... if you come back tonight," _Rye mentions while I have one foot out the door. I nod, wishing him a good evening before shutting the door behind me.

I decide at the last minute to walk over to Katniss's instead of taking my car. The sun is shining brightly above with not a single storm cloud in sight and with no snow falling, the path is clear and easy to spot.

I can see Katniss's house from the path through the bare trees, and notice the steam blowing from the top of the small fireplace.

I wonder if she'll be excited to see I've come over earlier, or shocked. We haven't talked much since she tried kissing me for a second time in her bed the morning after the party. I had blocked it, but not because _I_ particularly wanted to, more so because I knew _Katniss_ would have wanted me to.

She kissed me once because she was drunk; I wasn't about to allow the second time to be because she was hung over and tired. Her face looked stunned and almost annoyed when I brought my fingers to her lips, but within seconds of her head landing back on my chest her breathing had slowed and she was fast asleep.

I couldn't find sleep after that and stayed wrapped up beside her for about an hour more before fleeing back to my home, since I knew she was safe. When she woke up, she never texted me, and then Sunday went by again without a message.

I didn't bother to text her either, because I figured if she'd like to speak with me, she would message me.

It made for a very awkward day of work Monday afternoon.

I'm just a couple feet from her house now, coming up on it quickly and I practice the easy-going smile I'll wear as she opens the door, eyes widening in surprise of my arrival. Maybe we can search for sketches to base the sign language hands she wants me to draw on her shirt while we wait for the others to show up.

As I walk closer to her house, kicking a snow-covered ice ball through the street, I note her car in the driveway... just in front of Finnick's.

I stare back and forth between the cars in confusion, tucking my hands into my coat pockets as I slowed my pace, growing closer to her home but not sure now if I'd like to be spotted.

I walk along the side of the house and catch a glimpse of two bodies sitting in the living room, rather close to one another. Katniss is smiling timidly in Finnick's direction and has her hand raised up in an _I love you _sign.

Then, with her lips moving, she takes his hand in her free one and helps him to copy the sign before she presses their fingertips together.

I suck in a large breath and it catches in the back of my throat, nearly choking me. My body feels numb, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head and all I can do for a long minute is stand there, watching them.

It's as if a wrecking ball has slammed into my body. I feel my hands shake inside my pockets and my teeth chatter as I just _stare. _I should leave, I should get out of here before they see me or before _I _see any more. But it's like my feet are glued to the walk below me.

_I was right to stop Katniss from kissing me a second time that morning in her bed, _I think to myself as I finally pry myself free from peering in the window and head back down the street toward mine with purpose.

_She didn't want to kiss me. She wasn't thinking clearly. She loves Finnick._

So much so that she's not only shown him, but is _teaching_ him our sign of affection. Why were they signing to one another anyway? Neither of them have any use for the language if they're going to be together.

I double over, grasping my knees and heaving when pain like a knife twisting in my stomach comes over me suddenly. The small patch of woods I stand stranded in are eerily still, and I watch a large clump of snow fall from a branch above.

Everywhere I walk, everywhere I go reminds me of _her. _And a small part of me wishes we could just go back to the way things were before, when we were carefree, best friends who spent most of our time laughing, instead of sizing one another up.

I'm relieved when Rye's car isn't in the driveway, because I know if I had to deal with him getting in my face I'd probably end up punching him. I walk through the front door and don't even stop to untie my shoes before I'm up in my room, safe behind the closed door.

I replay the memory in my mind, trying to make sense of it, trying to find some sort of loophole that would be the cause for the misunderstanding of what I've just witnessed between Katniss and Finnick.

But I can't _find_ one. They were sitting alone in Katniss's house in close proximity to one another and saying _I love you. _

The look in her eyes; it was so genuine with a sense of urgency behind her unspoken words. The way her lips curled up and her hand was slightly shaking, she was admitting something to him. A secret love.

I groan, so loudly the vibrations hum through my neck and for the first time in a _long_ time I feel like screaming.

Although I've never spoken before, I still get strong urges to use my tight vocal chords, especially when I get overly upset. I've seen Katniss do it; when she's too emotional to sign and just flutters around the room talking to no one but herself.

I want to do that.

Even though I know no one is home, I'd still feel stupid making random noises, just in case. So instead, I bring a pillow to my face and fall back into my bed with a heavy sigh.

Right as I'm questioning how I'm going to be able to bear tonight, my cell phone vibrates on the mattress next to me. I search for it blindly before lifting the pillow off my face (watching as it crashes to the floor) and opening the message from Delly.

_Hey Peeta! I know it's last minute, but we're getting together tonight to hang out, if you'd like to come. Maybe escort free this time?_

I read over her message a couple times before responding quickly, problem solved about how I plan to deal with this evening.

So later this afternoon, as I sit lacing up my shoes to walk out the door and Katniss texts me to ask if I'm on my way yet, I reply rather shortly.

_Can't. Have plans._

* * *

_January 2013 (Present Day- Saturday)_

_Peeta, I miss you! Please come over._

I'm reminded of the events that unraveled before my eyes yesterday as I read over Prim's text message for maybe the fourth time. It's around three in the afternoon, and I convinced Rye to take my bakery shift today, feigning illness.

Of course he saw right through my charade and demanded to know why I hadn't stayed the night at Katniss's. How could I explain the anger I felt for seeing her and Finnick signing _our sign _to one another without completely blowing the fact that I maybe sort of like Katniss as more than a friend?

Rye would just laugh, and probably in a very obnoxious way too. He'd tell me I was an idiot for ever thinking there was a chance, and of course she likes someone like Finnick over someone like me.

Katniss and I have been inseparable for a long time, but I had to know the day would come when things would slow down. When she would begin to notice other boys and naturally not want to hang out as much with me as a result. I just hoped... banked on the fact that it would be much further down the road, that I'd have more time to persuade her into liking me.

And then she kissed me and I thought _maybe _this was going to work out. That she loved me as much as I loved her-

Why am I still thinking about this damn kiss? It meant _nothing, _it was _nothing _but a drunk, stupid and meaningless kiss.

So shut the fuck up about the _kiss already._

I read Prim's words over in my head once again, biting my lip as I try to think of the nicest (and least pathetic) way to inform her I won't be coming over today.

I just can't.

As I stall for words, another message from her comes in, vibrating in my palms.

_Please? _the message once again begs, cracking my resolve. _Everyone is going to come watch a movie and really wants you to come too._

_Who's everyone? _I find myself replying before I can stop it.

_The whole gang. Kat, Gale, Madge, Finnick, Jo..._

_I don't know if I'll be able to make it, _I respond lamely, feeling badly about it the second the "sent!" icon flashes before me.

_Why not? Come on, you ditched yesterday, just come over for a little bit. It's been forever. _

I breathe deeply, running my fingers through my messy hair.

_Katniss was really sad you didn't come yesterday._

My chest tightens at Prim's words and I read the message over again, recalling the image of Katniss in the grocery store. I was as shocked to see her there as she was me, but she didn't even stop to say hello as she rushed past me like I was a complete stranger.

Although the logical part of my mind is telling me she has no right to be angry with me, that she has someone new she'd apparently much rather hang out with, the emotional part of me is wishing I hadn't upset her so badly.

Which is why I frown, shaking my head as I type my final reply to Prim.

_What time do you want me over?_

* * *

The sun is growing a hazy shade of orange in the sky as dusk approaches and I make my way over to Katniss's.

The hot plate of bread I hold stings my arms before I place it gently in the passenger seat beside me. The clock in my car flashes the time and I internally curse because I'm a half an hour late.

I decided to make cheesy bread, as some sort of a peace treaty between Katniss and I, and had lost track of time. Hopefully all can be forgiven when she sees the plate set out in my arms before me. Katniss has always had a weakness for my cheesy bread.

It takes literally a minute and a half to get to Katniss's and when I pull up, her house and driveway are surrounded by cars. I immediately note Finnick's, and my hands tighten their grip on the steering wheel.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea, coming over tonight. After I had seen Finnick and Katniss through the window yesterday, I had punched my pillows several times, all the while wishing it was Finnick's face. I'm not exactly sure if I'm one hundred percent stable yet.

...Or even fifty percent for that matter.

Nonetheless, I ring the doorbell; my nerves completely shot and shuffle on my feet, gripping the plate in my hands a couple of times before it opens just barely and Prim pokes her head through, grinning.

She says something out loud, turning her head back to the crowd of people behind her before opening the door wider to let me in. Wordlessly, I hand her the plate of bread and she takes it into the kitchen as I slip off my shoes.

Johanna waves to me first as I slip out of my coat before returning the gesture to her, as well as Gale and Madge who lounge on the floor of the Everdeen's living room.

Apparently, the plan is just to watch a movie, which is fine by me because it calls for less awkward conversation between us.

So far, no one seems to be too openly pissed off at me for bailing yesterday, but I can't help but feel a little paranoid that they might be faking it. Johanna pats the couch behind her, pantomiming for me to sit down. I do, though I can't help but notice that the only two missing (besides Prim) are Katniss and Finnick.

The doorbell must ring, because Prim flies down the hallway to answer it and Gale's younger brother, Rory, slips through, grinning widely down at Primrose.

That's right, Katniss did mention the two of them were a thing these days. Not quite sure when that happened, and I'm a little grossed out when he bends down to kiss her. Only because in my mind Prim is still like... three.

She squats down in the love seat beside him, their hands intertwined with one another before the lights dim suddenly, and Katniss comes into view. Her eyes are trained on me, as if she's surprised to find me here, but then she gives a small (almost non-existent) smile and waves her fingers cautiously.

_Why_ does my traitor heart flutter with her small movements?

I wave back, watching as her finger dances along the light switch for a moment before she moves further in, sitting down beside me. As she falls down onto the couch, a whiff of her scent invades my nostrils, making me unconsciously breathe deeper.

"_I wasn't sure if you'd come."_

"_Yeah... Prim really wanted me to."_

Katniss nods her head casually, tapping her palms along her thighs mindlessly.

"_Did you have fun yesterday?" _she finally asks the thing that must have been on her mind since we ran into one another at the grocery store yesterday. I hadn't meant to run into her, or for her to even see that Delly and I were together...

But after everything that had happened in the past week, I just continued to tell myself that she didn't care, so why should I? Even though I still do care.

I care an awful lot.

So instead of telling her what a wonderful time I had with my other friends yesterday and all the great things we did together, I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly in answer. It seems to please her because it's as though her shoulders relax beside me as she begins to let her resolve slip.

"_Well, we got some things done for the protest Monday."_

"_That's awesome," _I say, the movie just starting up at this point. Below us, the three share a tub of popcorn and Gale throws a couple pieces in Rory and Prim's direction.

"_I'm sorry I couldn't make it."_

"_It's okay," _she signs, though her eyes shift to the side with her words, lips twisting into a small (but noticeable) frown. _"I'm glad you had fun."_

As I'm beginning to wonder where Finnick disappeared to, he makes his way through the darkened hallway and plops down on the other side of Katniss, reaching a hand behind her to friendly pat my shoulder.

I force a tight smile in his direction, which drops the second he nudges Katniss in the side and strikes up a conversation with her that has her releasing a chuckle of some sort.

I'm actually glad for Johanna's bluntness when she turns to them suddenly and raises a finger to her lips.

The movie has all the right ingredients; romance, violence, drama, but holds my attention for all of two seconds. I'm too busy watching Finnick and Katniss from the corner of my eye, wondering to myself if she shifts her weight because she's uncomfortable or if she's just trying to subtly move closer to Finnick.

Or if his hand resting on his thigh is a silent indicator that he wants her to take it. Or how when she laughs at a part in the movie, she turns to him before she does me...

My face must read as an open book because her smile falters just slightly and a second later her hand slips down between our legs and she wraps her pinky finger around mine. My knee jerk reaction at the moment is to pull back because I'm unsure how to read her... but as her pinky tightens its grip on my own, I find myself leaning into the small form of intimacy.

We stay like this, secretly entwined with one another throughout the first half of the movie, when Johanna pauses it and turns on the lights, making everyone wince, closing their eyes.

"_Food break," _Katniss explains, standing up a second later to stretch her limbs. I note the way Finnick's eyes linger over her form before she bends over in my direction and runs a hand through my hair.

I feel almost smug when she pulls away.

"_I'm going to get some cheesy bread before it's all gone!" _

There's a tense moment where the only person left in the room beside me is Finnick, whose eyes trail over me for a long minute before his throat bobs as he swallows and he attempts a smile, rising to his feet.

He exits the room before me, hands tucked into his pants pockets as he heads in the same direction Katniss just went. I stay put for a moment, my emotions getting the best of me as I think about Katniss's hand on my own, or how it felt running through my hair just moments earlier.

But then I remember the mixed signals she sent me last week, with her drunk kisses and signs with Finnick...

My emotions are completely shot and I can feel my resolve beginning to snap, but I sigh softly to myself and push my body off the couch, turning down the hall, which leads to the kitchen.

I catch a glimpse of Katniss, leaning over the table to grab a piece of bread, long strips of melted cheese stringing along as she pulls it up toward her lips. She chews for a long second, a look of enjoyment spreading across her features before her eyes lift to meet mine. My cheeks flame now that she's caught me staring but I feel as though I'm melting when she offers a timid smile.

I stare dumbfounded, willing my own lips to work when Finnick steps closer into Katniss, slipping an arm around her shoulder and eyeing me - as if to rub in my face that she is _his._

But he really needs to get his hands the fuck_ off of her._

I feel my body growing stiff in its spot as all my muscles begin tightening to keep from freaking out. He leans in to whisper something in her ear, breathing hotly in it similar to the way she was breathing near mine last weekend as she painted kisses down my jaw...

That's when the last bit of control I have managed to keep intact shatters and my feet are moving quickly in his direction. I see the looks of everyone in the kitchen watching me, confusion lacing their expressions as I fly forward.

His lips twist up into a smile right before a look of terror over comes him and I slam his body into the wall directly behind him. His hands grip mine as I fist his shirt in my palms and throw him against it once more, watching him wince in pain.

Katniss screams something out to my left, her small arms begging me to stop as they claw at my back, but I ignore her as my fist slams into Finnick's jaw and he slouches to the ground, cupping his mouth.

I feel two arms - too strong to be Katniss's - encase my flailing body, and in every direction I turn, looks of confusion and horror paint everyone's faces.

Johanna bends down to Finnick's limp body as Prim jumps over the top of him, rushing to the freezer to grab an ice pack, bundling it up with paper towel. His lip is bleeding, and jaw already swelling up.

Gale is still holding onto me and struggling as I attempt to break free, not liking the feeling of being trapped in his grasp. Katniss turns her attention from where it's focused on the small crowd tending to Finnick to me and before I can hardly register it, her hand meets my face roughly, leaving a warm stinging coating my cheek.

She yells out, her eyes trained behind me and momentarily Gale lets me go. I stumble forward and her hand is grasps my forearm roughly, digging her nails into my skin.

"_Upstairs, now!" _she signs furiously, pointing to the staircase. When I don't immediately move, she stomps her foot as if to prove her point further. _"Now!"_

I push past her and Gale and march up her staircase angrily, fly into her room and attempt to shut her door roughly, but something is jammed in the small space under the door, which makes it move slowly. I pull the object out and un-ball the white shirt, looking it over with hard eyes.

There's a large blue stain falling down the middle, and there are light pencil outlines of poorly drawn hands.

The door flies open, banging into my side before I move out the way and Katniss hurtles in.

"_What the hell was that?" _she demands to know, her eyes flickering between my own and the shirt I hold in my hands.

"_What's this?" _I ask her, my tone much calmer than hers. I see her strained shoulders relax as her eyes rest on the t-shirt and she sighs, playing with her braid.

"_A shirt."_

"_Why did you ruin it?" _I sign, confused. _"I thought you were going to wear it when the news came to interview you guys."_

"_I didn't know you still cared about that," _she huffs, her words meant to be biting.

"_What are you talking about?" _

"_I mean, you can't even be bothered to come around anymore, so if you don't care, why should I?"_

"_Bothered to come around?" _I repeat her words, _"Katniss, I'm here right now!"_

"_Yeah, and you just punched Finnick in the fucking face!"_

"_But-"_

"_Why did you punch Finnick?"_

"_There's nothing wrong with wanting to spend one night with my other friends, Katniss. You said it was okay! You said it!" _I snap, ignoring her question about Finnick all together.

"_What was I supposed to say?" _she asks, her lips moving angrily now, eyebrows tucked down on her forehead deeply. _"You're a grown ass man Peeta, _not_ my responsibility."_

I'm taken back by her words, dropping the shirt into a heap on the floor and stepping away from her slightly, my own eyebrows raising.

"_I didn't realize that's what I was to you. Just a responsibility."_

"_Well, I'm sure your girlfriend doesn't think so," _she responds icily as her eyes widen, as if she had not meant to actually say that to me. But it's said, and with her words my jaw clenches furiously and I can feel the heat radiating off my face, my hands shaking as I fight to find the control it takes to sign.

How dare she bring up Delly when she knows just as well as I do she's fucking around with Finnick? I have never once done _anything _to insinuate that Delly was anything more than a friend to me, everything Katniss is seeing is something she has made up in her own mind.

"_You're right, she doesn't. In fact I'm not a burden at all to her!" _I respond immediately, _hoping _my words sting her, and judging by the look on her face, they do. Now that she's got me going, it's impossible to stop and I find my hands moving faster than my brain can register.

"_And excuse me, but when did you start caring? It's like, I tell you something... something really fucking important to me and you don't give a shit! You're too busy texting, or talking with someone else, but then you refuse to believe that I might have a life outside of this! Of... us."_

Her hands have dropped now to her sides and she stares at me wide-eyed as I continue to sign, her chest heaving heavily with each breath she takes.

"_You don't care," _I insist, not trying to sugarcoat anything anymore because it's everything she needs to hear.

"_You don't even look at me when I'm talking to you half the time," _I spit, and she can't deny it as I point to her braid which she's been reconstructing as I talk. A look of guilt washes over her features before her face floods with disgust, hands raising in defense.

"_Oh, so sorry, I didn't realize I'm such a bitch! You never had a problem with it before, Peeta. We've never been normal-"_

"_-No, _I've _never been normal!" _I cut her off, jabbing a finger into my chest as I finish. _"Me. Not you. And now you're mad because I found people who make me _feel _normal-"_

"_All I've ever _done_ is try to make you feel normal!" _she snaps, _"I've busted my ass to make sure you've always been included and normal when all the while you've just been waiting for better friends to come along?"_

"_Katniss-"_

"_Well good for you! Have a fucking ball with your new friends! Forget all this shit. Maybe it's best you stay there anyway."_

The apology that lingers in my mind locks itself up as my eyes narrow with her last words.

"_What does _that_ mean?"_

"_It _means," she begins, smugly. _"Maybe everyone was right all along. Maybe it's too hard to be friends."_

All the previous feelings of anger dissolve from my body and are replaced with indescribable pain and sadness. She seems to notice, because her eyes widen right after she's finished signing the words, but then she turns her head in the opposite direction of me.

She grumbles something out loud before pushing past me to climb on top of her bed.

"_Unless you're ready to tell me why you punched Finnick, I'm finished talking," _she explains, and then purposely turns away from me.

It's like I've been slapped across the face, the way she refuses to look to me or acknowledge my presence.

I try to make her look at me, even allowing myself to let out a couple of frustrated noises in hopes that she'll turn in my direction, but she never does. Her arms fold over the center of her chest and I stand there too long hoping she'll just turn to look at me.

I let out one more noise of frustration, wishing more than anything I could just fucking _communicate_ without my hands before I kick the shirt below my feet and bolt out the door, slamming it behind me.

I race down the stairs and five faces turn to my direction, all bewildered and slightly panicked. I notice an ice pack raised to Finnick's jaw briefly before pulling the door open and disappearing from the Everdeen's home.

I start my car up and zoom down the street, eager to get away from the house before anyone tried to chase after me, if they even cared at this point.

I'm a mess by the time I pull into my own driveway, and am too embarrassed to go inside with blotchy skin and a sniffing nose.

I wrap my arms around my torso, as if to hug my own body and fall into the steering wheel, saturating it with the wetness that falls from my face as I will myself to calm down.

I notice one of my knuckles is bleeding, from where Finnick's tooth scraped along side it as I punched him. I probably wouldn't have kept punching him, just wanted one good shot, and I'm sure he'll have the bruise to prove it for a couple weeks.

When I've calmed down enough and my eyes aren't puffy nor my cheeks smeared red, I turn off the car and open the door, the cool air feeling nice against my stinging skin.

There's a message from Delly on my phone, asking how my day is going that I notice before I turn the handle to the front door.

_Come over._

* * *

As always, thank you so much for reading. Your reviews and adds to story alerts/favorites are always greatly appreciated! You can still find me on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) and twitter (passtheheroin).


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help on this chapter.

Friendly reminder that this chapter will not be rainbows and butterflies. It is the final of the "bad" chapters and things will begin to get better starting chapter 15. If the angst is something that has been troubling you/bothering you/whatever please hold off reading until future chapters. Thank you.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: In Which There Are Nightmares**

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_January 2013 (The Wednesday before)_

_There's a faint tickling sensation on the sensitive skin of my neck. I move my shoulder up to block it, giggling a little to myself and can feel the hot breath of someone near my ear._

_I open my eyes, the darkness that encased me furthering away and the curl of Peeta's hair coming into view. He smiles at me sheepishly, running a hand along the length of my arm and pressing his lips against my jaw once more._

_A heat rises over me, swelling all along my body as my breathing grows rapid and my hands fight to find something to grip. They wrap themselves around his middle and draw his body in closer to mine._

_Our eyes meet and slowly, my lips begin to make their way toward his, closing the gap between our bodies when his hand shoots up between us and covers my mouth completely._

"No, Katniss."

_I frown in confusion, eyebrows knitting together as my hands grasp hold of his sturdy one, still placed over the top of my mouth. _

"Don't you want this?" _I question worriedly, as he begins to fade around me. I reach out to grip him, but even the feel of his fingers on my lips slips further and further away until he's gone completely._

_As is his bed and the entire room we had been in just moments earlier. _

_I'm surrounded by white. White walls, ceiling and floors. I panic, trying to find a way out, to search for Peeta to save me, or to fucking _wake up.

_There's one speckle of color in the highest corner of the walls, which now seem endless. As it grows closer I recognize the color as blue and the object hurtling toward me as a bird. It lands a few feet away from me and waddles closer, glancing at me sideways._

_Its beak opens just slightly and a deafening sound erupts, bringing me to my knees as it bounces off the walls. It's a woman's voice screaming, though not out of pain but pleasure. She moans and pants and heaves loudly from the bird's lungs._

_The voice is faintly familiar..._

_The moans and groans turn to that of a man, begging for more with his quiet noises, creating a melody in time with the woman._

_It's Peeta and Delly._

_The few times I've heard their voices click in my mind and goosebumps pebble my skin as realization wracks my body._

"_Stop!" I scream, clutching my ears, but their noises only grow louder as my screams turn to silence. They can't hear me, no one can._

_And I'm trapped._

"_Help!"_

I jump awake with a start, gripping my shirt just over where my heart rests and panting heavily. I try to calm my breathing before I begin to hyperventilate, reminding myself _it was just a dream. _

_It was only a dream, damnit. _

_You're awake._

With the dim flickering of night-lights around the otherwise dark room, I search frantically for a body that should be lying next to me. I don't care if I end up waking him up - I just need to know he's _here._

But he isn't. Of course he isn't. His side of the bed is eerily cold and unused, as it had been the night before. I run a shaky hand over the back of my sweaty neck while continuing to simply stare at the empty space next to me.

This isn't the first time in the past couple of weeks I've had nightmares. In fact, each night I sleep alone they grow steadily worse and worse.

The first night was about the day that started it all, back in Chemistry. The whole event played out before me, Peeta mixing the wrong chemicals, creating an acid-like fog. Only, this fog was much more dangerous, and had a paralyzing effect the second it landed on Peeta's skin, jerking and contorting his face horribly, looking as though his skin was melting off completely.

Last night's was actually a reoccurring nightmare. It featured Dad, kissing Prim and I both on top of our heads, promising he'd be back before we fell asleep for the night.

I could hear the screeching of the tires, the loud sirens encircling my mind and the piercing screams before the explosion.

And just like in reality, I knew he wasn't coming back.

Usually though, after that nightmare, I have Peeta to help lull me back to bed. He typically woke up to my thrashing and constant squirming and would hold me close in his arms, running a hand through my hair.

I hold my phone in my hand now, debating on whether to call him and beg him to come over or not.

It's late; he probably won't get the message until morning.

And by then it'd only be pathetic.

* * *

_January 2013 (Saturday) _

Long after Peeta has stormed out of the house and I watch his car fly down the street, I'm still replaying his earlier words in my mind.

_I found people who make me feel normal._

But what have I been all these years? A filler friend? His back-up plan?

I don't chase after him once he leaves. After all, I'm the one who wanted him to leave, wasn't I? I sit on my bed, like a fucking loser with my arms folded across my middle and cheeks stinging with anger and the effort it takes not to cry _just in case _anyone decides to come up here. They must have seen him storm out.

As if on cue, the door tumbles open and Prim stands in the threshold. Her face isn't gentle with sadness or confusion like I expect, but her lips are pursed with fury and her small fingers bundled into tight fists.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" she demands, throwing me for a loop. She obviously must have overheard me screaming, which for some reason infuriates me more.

"What do you want, Prim?" I ask her flatly, drained from all my energy.

"Why did you say those things?" she growls. "You probably really hurt his feelings, Katniss."

"Yeah, well, you only heard _half_ the story, little sister. So why don't you just fuck off?"

Prim rolls her eyes and enters further into the room, jumping onto the edge of my bed. I refuse to look her in the eyes as I inspect my fingernails, not so casually.

"Look," she begins, and I know we'll be here a while. "I know you only acted the way you did because you love Peeta and you're afraid of him letting go, but what you don't understand-"

"-What did you just say?" I cut her off, not really hearing much of what she said after "love Peeta."

She shrugs her shoulders, as if we're talking about the weather outside and I'm a complete idiot.

"I said I know you love Peeta."

I scoff, turning away from her face, but my refusal to immediately deny it speaks loudly in the silence.

"I do not," I try, having already missed my window of opportunity to which Prim rolls her eyes.

"Sure you do. He loves you too, you know. Everyone knows."

Well, I sure as hell didn't.

At least, not on his end. And I just haven't been willing to admit it from mine.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Prim hedges, swirling her fingers along the comforter on my bed.

"I'm not going to beg him to forgive me if that's what you're asking, Prim. He's the one who fucked up this time."

If he loved me as much as she believes, he wouldn't be so wishy-washy. Curling up in bed with me one minute, avoiding me like the plague the next. Ditching me for sexy, bitchy Delly Cartwright one night and holding my hand the next...

Maybe Prim is right. Maybe some time ago Peeta had feelings for me, but what other female options did he have to crush on? I was his only true friend and the only girl he could easily communicate with. He has Delly now, and a plethora of other sign-speaking girls if things fall flat with her. Girls who make him feel "normal" and who he would much rather spend his time with, apparently.

Well, fuck him, I'm finished trying. Who needs him anyway?

"Katniss, you're such an idiot," Prim snickers with the shake of her head, like she's the relationship expert. Although, I guess she is doing better than me, seeing as her and Rory were rather cuddly downstairs.

"You know he punched Finnick out of jealousy, right?" Prim says.

"...What?"

She sighs dramatically, changing her position on the bed to one more comfortable, "He's so jealous! Because you two have been spending so much time together. Come on, it's obvious."

I remember the comment he made what seems like forever ago, when I left the first gathering Peeta was invited to by his other friends early with Finnick. He seemed apprehensive, almost doubtful when I informed he we were just friends, but other than that instance, Peeta has never voiced hate out loud for him.

Not to me at least.

"I didn't notice," I respond lamely, playing with the end of my braid. "He has to know Finnick isn't a threat," I snort but Prim only shrugs.

"Does he?"

_Shit._

"I think you should go over there to talk with him," Prim says, leaping off my bed. "But, I don't know, that's just me."

"Is Finnick alright?"

"He's fine. Already laughing and joking the whole thing off. We're going to finish the movie. Maybe you can get Peeta to come back and join us?"

"Doubtful," I grumble. Even if he _did_ talk to me and we _did _patch things up, he would be too embarrassed about the entire incident to crawl back like a dog with its tail between his legs.

Prim shrugs at my response, leaving without another word as she shuts my door tightly behind her.

I'm left alone with my own thoughts and for a while stay unmoving, staring at the wall ahead of me and biting my fingernails nervously.

Prim's words echo in my ears: _You're only acting this way because you love Peeta. Sure you do, and he loves you too. Everyone knows it._

_Sure you do, and he loves you too._

My hands begin their rapid search through my nightstand before it registers with my brain and I'm digging through old papers and candy wrappers until my hand wraps around Peeta's and my notebook and I'm pulling it loose.

I scan through several pages of mindless chit chat, silly jokes, beautiful drawings until I come across the pages which hold long lists of words.

_You're too ambitious, _Peeta's sloppy handwriting chides me. _You need to start with simpler phrases._

_Like?_

_**I love you. **_

_Cat._

_Dog._

_Fish._

_Bird._

_Brother._

_Sister._

_Mother._

_Father._

And so on. Then, under the last printed word, are my words from almost three months ago, written neatly with a bubbled cloud around it.

_Such a pain in the ass. But worth it. - 11/12._

I take the stairs by two, holding the notebook tightly in my grasp and bolt past the entrance to the living room, headed for the door to put my shoes on. I turn when I feel several pairs of eyes trained on me and nervously push a stray lock of hair behind my ear.

"I'll uh... be back," I respond lamely and their knowing faces light up. My gaze rests on Finnick, who tries to smile but the swollen skin around the left side of his jaw refuses to let him. His skin is already turning a disturbing shade of purple.

I cast him a sympathetic frown, almost as if to apology but he only rolls his eyes.

"What are you still standing here for?" he sounds like he has a bunch of cotton balls stuck in his mouth.

I smile, blowing him a quick kiss before reaching out for the doorknob and flying through. The sun, which shone heavily throughout the day has begun to melt the heaps of snow and I notice several patches of green dot the lawn as I jump off the porch.

I don't give myself time to debate walking or driving over to Peeta's before my feet take off for the path that lets out straight across from the Mellark home. It's quicker running, easier too. No parking or traffic to attend to. The only thing that stands between Peeta and me are my legs which are already carrying me through the woods to his street.

I feel like I might throw my heart up the way; its beating so quickly in my chest as I make out the shape of his house, and I have to wipe my hands on my pants several times due to the sweat accumulating on my palms. I replay my words over and over again inside my head, working out the kinks of what I'll say when I see him, how I plan to defuse the situation.

I know my Peeta, and everything will be fine. In just a few minutes, this entire situation will be resolved and we can move forward from it all.

I am panting wildly by the time I make it up the Mellark's steps and my breaths come out like a cloud. With the sun beginning to set, temperatures have dropped drastically and my knuckles burn as I rasp on their door continuously.

Rye opens it up, eyes widening as my fist flies through the air in mid-knock. His typical carefree smile is tight and forced as he holds an arm out to block my entry. His entire body language is closed off and under his eyes are deep wrinkles of stress.

"Uh... Katniss?" Rye asks more than says, running a hand over the back of his head nervously, just like both his father and brothers do.

"I need to talk with Peeta."

"Does he... is he expecting you?" he stammers, his eyes shifting to land anywhere but on me.

I don't have time for these games and sigh exasperatedly in his direction, my shoulders hunching just a bit and skin pebbling with goosebumps as a wind blows by.

"_Rye."_

"Look, Katniss... now might not be the best time to be here, if you catch my drift. You might just want to stop back tomorrow," his eyes are pleading, begging me to leave and I can feel my stomach twisting and turning.

I've never been turned away at the Mellark's before. I scan his face for any more clues, but his lips are pressed into a tight line as he picks at the siding of their house.

"He has... company."

My eyes flicker to their driveway, and I could have sworn I only saw four cars on my way up here, but with a double glance I notice the fifth, shiny and black and vaguely familiar.

"Who _is_ it," I grit out, a strong wave of anger rushing through my calmed veins. I feel my fists balling and jaw clenching. Peeta might not be the only person who punches someone before the day is over...

"I don't know," Rye speaks truthfully, his hands flying up in the air. "All I know is I'm sitting over there on the computer, and here comes Peeta slamming doors and stomping up stairs! Next thing I know, Blondie's in the hous-"

I push Rye's body out of the way with force, sending him flying into the wall with an 'omphf.' I'll have to apologize later, because right now I wouldn't be able to stop my feet for anything. I'm racing up the stairs, hand gripping the railing with each step and I nearly bang my hip into the banister with my sharp turn down the hall.

Bannock is standing in the threshold of his room now, a look of extreme concern tracing his lips as his arms fold across his middle. I can't tell if his protective look is meant for me or for Peeta -either way, I dart past him without small talk and shove Peeta's _shut_ door open.

I could watch the scene before me a hundred times over and still feel the same fits of jealousy, betrayal, anger, sadness and confusion well deep within my body.

Delly's hand rests on top of Peeta's thigh while the other is entangled in his mess of hair. His hands keep him balanced on the mattress below them and her lips are pressed firmly against his.

They linger, neither of them too disturbed by the audience in front of them to pull away quickly, and Delly's hand traces down to Peeta's knee before her eyes meet mine with satisfaction.

_She's won._

Her lips twist up into a condescending smile and she flips one of her perfect curls back behind her head. Peeta refuses to look at anything but the mattress.

I hate the way she twirls Peeta's bedspread with her finger, or how she sits there like her ass fucking _belongs_ on his bed. She rises slowly, arms crossed for a long second and looking me over, sizing me up.

I have no fight left in me. With that single action, every last bit of hope I was madly clutching too has disappeared into thin air.

"_Well, decided you haven't been enough of a bitch? To come back for more?" _Delly questions sarcastically.

"_Don't talk about things you don't know or understand."_

"_I understand everything," _she snaps. _"And I think it's best you go now, Katniss."_

My anger has reached indescribable heights, sending my entire body into a shaking fit and my breathing erratic to keep from crying. I will _not_ fucking cry in front of Delly.

"_You just want to blame everything on Peeta," _she continues when I stay silent. _"You're just jealous he found someone he likes more than you."_

"_Shut the fuck up-" _I try, but I know my face is weak and broken.

"_It's your fault he even met us," _she cuts me off with a snort; she has full control now and she gladly continues to squash me further into the ground._"If you hadn't fucked up, once again, you wouldn't even be in this mess. But, that just proves how good of a friend you were to begin with."_

Realization of why her words sting so badly begins to set in.

"_You never listened to Peeta." _

It's because everything she's saying is true.

Peeta doesn't look up like I think he might. He doesn't defend me and kick Delly out of the house. He just stares at the blanket below him but the part of his face visible to me is red and blotchy and he sniffs twice.

"Peeta," I whimper, my lips quivering as I have lost all self-control. I see the Mellark brothers poke their heads through the frame of the open door through the corner of my eye.

"P-Peeta," I hiccup, beginning to hyperventilate. I drop the notebook in my hands and hear it land on the ground with a thud.

"Come on, Kat," Rye whispers, wrapping his arms around me, practically forcing me out the room as my cries for the boy who can't hear me continue brokenly.

He takes my hand in his, squeezing it gently as he guides me down the steps, Bannock trailing closely behind us, a look of concern masking his expression.

"I didn't want you to see that," Rye grumbled, falling down into one of the dining room chairs with a thud. I stare brokenly past them to the stairs, silently hoping Peeta will come down before I leave.

He doesn't.

Of course he doesn't, he's too busy with Delly now that I've finished rudely interrupting.

"Do you want to stay a while?" Bannock asks cautiously and I only shake my head, not trusting myself to speak at this point, I'm too close to falling over the edge.

"You're all right to drive, then?" Rye mutters after a long minute of silence. My gaze turns up from where it rests on the carpeted floor and my lip quivers as I fight to form a coherent sentence.

"I didn't... I walked over, actually."

The Mellark boys blink.

"And I'm fine, yes."

"It's starting to rain out; with the sun down, you'll freeze," Bannock justifies, grabbing his keys from the small dish by the door. "We'll give you a ride."

"No it's-"

"Katniss, it's fine. Come on."

We all seem to be avoiding the elephant in the room as Bannock opens up the back door of the car, allowing me to slide inside. I can see the window leading to Peeta's room from where I sit and wonder when I'll be back here, sitting in this driveway again.

I think all of us know it won't be for a long time.

"Fuck dude... she's crying."

Bannock flips on the windshield wipers as rain begins to pound down more heavily, glossing over the windows in large, lazy drops.

I meet Bannock's eyes through the rear view mirror for a split second before he lets out an elongated sigh, "Well, what can I do about it?" he hisses to his brother.

"I can hear you," I croak, attempting to wipe away any evidence of my weakness. Rye turns to eye me sheepishly.

"And I'm not crying. I... I'm just..."

My voice cuts off with a soft whimper and it doesn't matter how hard I bite my lip, nothing can hold back the choked sob that spills forth _everything._

Bannock pulls the car off to the side of the road and both him and Rye look between each other and me with panic, surely not used to dealing with a crying girl.

I tuck my face into my hands, embarrassed for anyone - _especially them - _to catch me in this state. From where we sit parked, my street sign is visible, shining in the headlights' path, and I wish they'd just take me home so I can hide away in my room alone.

_Damnit, everyone better be gone when I get there._

I can't cry in front of them too.

One of the front doors opens and closes, the sound of rain growing more pronounced and a chilling wind hitting my body as Rye topples down into the seat next to me. He doesn't say a word, or expect me to, only wraps an arm around my shoulder and doesn't protest when I fall into his chest, openly sobbing.

I grip his shirt with my small hand, the white fabric soaking through completely with my tears as he rubs my back affectionately. Bannock twists awkwardly from his seat up front to pat my kneecap.

We sit parked off to the side of the road so long, the windows begin to fog with our breath mixed with the heat circulating around us. The last bits of sunlight have vanished, leaving the sky a depressing shade of black as the wind and rain continues to howl.

Both boys say nothing, but continue to silently console me as my broken sobs turn into quiet whimpers, eventually fading into pathetic sniffles. Bannock holds a tissue box out for me.

The wipers on the window swipe fourteen times before Rye's chest heaves heavily.

"Peeta is an asshole."

Bannock shoots him a look of disbelief, to which he only shrugs.

"What? He is!"

"_I know _that," Bannock snorts, "But that's probably not what she wants to hear right now."

"Yes it is," I grumble into Rye's shoulder.

"He's a dick," he continues, my body moving with his every breath. "I hope you know I didn't pull you out of there for _their _sake. I did it for you."

"I know."

"I don't know what the hell is going on between him and that _girl _but-"

"Rye-"

"-Skank bitch needs to go!"

"_Rye."_

"_What?"_

"You _suck _at cheering people up."

The smile that crosses my lips seems foreign and misplaced, but I can't help it when I let out a soft and jagged giggle-snort, which makes both boys erupt into in sync laughter.

They take turns making me laugh, whether it's at Peeta's expense or with corny jokes but they don't stop until my face de-blotches and the puffiness under my eyes fades.

"Are you ready to get home?" Bannock asks, putting the car into drive and I nod solemnly.

"We can stay here longer if you'd like," Rye insists. "It's just that... you know, we have some asses to go kick."

I smirk, shaking my head, "No, I'm ready to get home."

Rye rubs my shoulder until we pull into my driveway and both boys turn to me expectantly, their eyes wide with worry as I gather my few things.

"Uh... thanks," I blush, taking a piece of hair behind my ear.

"No problem, Kat," Rye says with sincerity. "We've got your back."

"Could you do me a favor then?" I ask cautiously, half my body already out of the car. The rain has stopped but the air is still cold and wet.

"Sure."

"Just uh... don't mention this to Peeta," I say, motioning toward the car. "I don't think it'll help anything."

"Of course," Bannock nods.

"Promise," Rye adds.

I take in a large breath of relief I'm sure they can see written over my face before shutting the door.

"Thank you."

* * *

The only people left in the house when I open the door are Prim and Rory, who wear guilty looks and pull away from one another quickly upon my arrival.

"How'd it go?" Prim asks, somewhat breathless. _Gross..._

Keeping silent sometimes speaks louder than anything you could possibly say.

* * *

Thank you for reading and as always your reviews/favorite adds and story alert adds mean a lot to me. I'm sorry that I was unable to respond to everyone's reviews this time around. My real life situation has been extremely hectic so I haven't had a lot of spare time. But just know I appreciate hearing from every single one of you. Thank you again so much.

Feel free to follow me over on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) or twitter (passtheheroin).


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins. **

A big thank you to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: In Which it All Ends**

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_January 2012_

It's well past two in the morning when I wake to the feeling of Katniss's breath against my neck and her cold feet pressed against my calves. My arm is wrapped tightly around her middle, pressing her closely into me unconsciously.

I glance down at her in the darkness, making out the shape of her fluttering eyelids and lips parted just slightly as she dreams. Her eyebrows are furrowed down into almost a scowl and I find myself smirking, because even in her sleep she's unable to keep from frowning sometimes.

Carefully, so as not to disturb her, I untwine myself from her and slip out from under the blankets, tip-toeing across the dimly lit path of the room and to the door.

When I open it, the hallway is brightly lit, much due to Prim not liking to sleep in complete darkness. I slip into the bathroom undetected and fiddle with the Everdeen's tricky lock for about thirty seconds before giving up with a huff, willing to chance their staying asleep instead of playing around with it further.

I give a tired yawn as I finish up in the bathroom, washing my hands before placing them on my back and arching to crack it before making my way back to the bedroom.

As the door opens further, I jump back with surprise as I watch Katniss emerge quickly from the bedroom. Her eyes are wild, glancing left to right before they focus on me. It's then that I notice they're slightly damp with what looks like tears and her cheeks are flushed.

I frown in her direction, arching an eyebrow in question before her bottom lip begins quivering uncontrollably.

"_Katniss? You all right?" _I ask, hesitantly shifting in my spot a couple feet from her.

"_You weren't there," _she signs shakily. _"I... woke up and..."_

I take a step from the tiled flooring of the bathroom into the carpeted hallway and barely have time to take another one before Katniss throws herself into me, causing me to stumble backward slightly.

Her small hands entangle my shirt, fisting it tightly in her palms as she digs her head into my chest. I can feel her body shaking with the tremors of an apparent nightmare but don't say anything to her. Instead, I snake my arms around her middle and squeeze her comfortingly, rubbing her back soothingly before leading her back to bed.

She follows my lead, never letting go of her vice-like grip on me, which tightens even more so as I shut the door and encase us into darkness. I help her into the bed before crawling in beside her, pressing my front firmly against her back, hugging her closely to me.

Her hand finds mine, which rests on her stomach, and she entwines our fingers, wiggling back further into me, as if not able to get closer. Her tiny fingers draw patterns on the back of my hand, swirling in circles and tracing the veins that bulge.

We don't try to talk, because this isn't the first time Katniss has woken in the middle of the night from horrible dreams that haunt her.

I know from experience she doesn't like talking about these particular dreams, so we don't. She wakes and I hold her until she's lulled back to bed.

Slowly, the movement of her fingers on my hand fade until she's still and her breathing is more steadier. I peek over her exposed shoulder to see her eyes shut once more and lips gently parted.

She turns in her sleep so she's facing me and tucks her head back into my neck, her arm falling around my middle. I copy her movement so we're in almost a hugging position and breathe in the scent of her hair, tracing smooth shapes on her back until my memories fade into nothingness alongside her.

* * *

_January 2013_

"_You little fucker."_

I watch as my door jolts open roughly and Rye storms in, followed closely by Bannock. Rye's eyes are wild, his lips curled into a threatening growl and Bannock grabs hold of him right before he can wrap his hands around my neck.

I sit on my bed, unfazed, and watch as Rye fights to get out of Bannock's grip.

"_What do you want?" _I question, blandly. I really don't give a fuck if he _were_ to ring my neck anyway.

"_You're such a shit, Peeta, you know that? Why the fuck did you let that bitch talk to Katniss that way?"_

I'm not sure how much my brothers saw, but it was obviously enough if they're this upset. Unlike them, I hadn't actually seen what Delly said to Katniss, only that Rye pulled her from the room as she mouthed something, almost furiously.

"_It's none of your business."_

"_It is when you made her cry!"_

My head shoots up, and I look past Rye to the calmer, more reliable source of Bannock who glares in Rye's direction before nodding his head ruefully at me.

I eye them both suspiciously. Katniss _never_ cries. In fact, I think I've only ever seen her _really _cry after her father's death.

"_She cried?" _I question.

"_Yeah, ass-hat! You made her fucking sob!" _Rye signs dramatically to me, pointing to his soaked-through shirt. I push his hands away from me to look to Bannock who is talking sharply in Rye's direction before turning to me with a slump of his shoulders.

"_Technically, we weren't supposed to tell you that part, but Rye upheld that promise all of five seconds," _Bannock signs, frowning heavily at our brother.

My eyes land on the scattered pieces of paper that she ripped up before throwing our notebook to the ground as Rye dragged her off. I hadn't seen the expression her face wore as she left, only that it landed against the floor heavily enough to vibrate against my foot.

Delly had tried picking up the papers and book, whether her motives helpful or curious for her own sake I'm not sure, but either way I tapped my foot against the wooden ground to gain her attention before demanding she leave the pieces where they sit.

I watched as Katniss, Rye and Bannock fled the house through my window before suggesting that maybe it was time Delly left as well.

The image of Katniss crying as they sped away from our house, and my brothers, of all people, stopping to comfort her invade my mind and a powerful wave of nausea pounds over my body.

I never meant to make her cry. She was never supposed to know about Delly coming over. I had only wanted someone I could talk to, to have someone who could just _listen _to me.

The more I think about how Katniss might still be upset now, crying alone in her room, a nervous twitch picks up in my legs and I fly up from the bed with purpose, lunging for the doorway before a hand lands on my shoulder.

It twirls me around to meet Bannock's worried and confused eyes.

"_I _have_ to go talk to her," _I explain panicked, eyeing the door frame. His hand tightens its grip and he shakes his head grimly.

"_Now might not be the best time, Peet."_

"_I don't care."_

"_Well you need to," _he tells me sternly. _"Don't be selfish."_

I stop resisting with his words and stare blankly at his hands.

"_You're only going to make it worse. She's probably just calming down and you going over there will only rile her back up. Give her space. She deserves that, don't you think?"_

I'm silent as my posture deflates.

"_You'll see her tomorrow in the bakery," _Bannock reminds me, guiding me back to my spot on the bed before patting my shoulder dejectedly.

"_You deserve time too," _he adds, standing in the doorway when I turn up to look at him. _"To think about what you might want to say. Avoid another blow up."_

Him and Rye make toward the door to leave and Rye shoots me one last glare of disgust before shutting the door, leaving me to my own devices. I always knew they _liked_ Katniss, but I didn't realize the level of "protection" they carry for her.

As my eyes are trained on the door they just exited through, they drift down to the ground where the scattered pieces from the notebook still lay. I've been avoiding that entire area like the plague, scared to delve deeper into the emotions and anxiety swirling around our relationship.

I can't avoid it any longer though, because Bannock is right. I _should_ use this time to prepare what I might say to her if she decides to even show up tomorrow at the bakery. I won't be surprised if she calls in sick.

Or quits.

Reluctantly, I move off the bed once more and gather the notebook she came to return, along with the page she ripped out. It's ripped in half which I easily arrange to piece together the missing page.

My heart immediately tightens painfully as realization comes to me and I re-read the broken words, swallowing a lump that rises in my throat.

_I love you. _

_You must think I'm an idiot. Everyone knows that. _

_Well, you have to start somewhere._

I try choking back the sob that threatens to erupt out of me, but I can't stop the way my vision blurs at the words. It really is over. Everything is too broken to put back together. Katniss came to return this old thing because she can no longer stand to look at it.

_It's too hard being friends._

A drop of liquid falls off the edge of my cheek and stains the paper, wrinkling it slightly and smudging the ink. I wipe my face and push the papers off to the side in frustration, bringing my hands to rest over my eyes, no longer trying to push back the tears that spill forward.

I lost my best friend; the girl I was too scared to even admit to myself that I might love _in fear of _losing her and now, not only has she moved onto someone completely new and capable of taking care of her...

But she wants nothing to fucking do with me.

* * *

"You can't do anything, can you?"

_Katniss is standing in front of me, arms crossed and eyebrows raised as her lips pucker in misplaced amusement at what must be my expression. Her hands lift up in the air, exasperatedly as she waits for an answer._

"Well, what are you good for?"

"I...What?" _I question, scratching my head. _

_She doesn't _look_ like Katniss. Of course it is, theres just something off about her. Something different. For one, her usually braided hair is let down into long flowing curls, the kind she only sports at night and after showers. Her typically soft expression is hard; lips tight, eyes dark and eyebrows downcast - wrinkling her forehead and bridge of her nose._

_She rolls her eyes, shaking her head, _"Pathetic. Why did I waste so much _time_ on you? What have you ever done for me?"

"We're friends," _I remind her. _"Friends do things for one another."

"Then do something for me."

"Anything," _I promise. Anything to patch things up to the way they used to be. To make her smile how she used to, and entwine her hand with my own. _

"Speak."

_My face drains of color at her request, and I shuffle on my feet awkwardly, studying her for any sign of teasing or playfulness, but if its there it's hidden extremely well._

"I...can't," _I remind her, eyes wide with her request, but this knowledge only seems to anger her more._

"So I can learn things for you, but you can't for me?" _she snaps, pushing my chest back a little. I stumble with her sudden movements and my hands land where hers jabbed me. _

"Katniss, it's not so easy."

"You've never been a good friend, Peeta," _she sneers, her expression turning hostile as she signs with a new level of fury. _"I should have just listened to everyone and dropped you a long, long time ago."

"No," _I try reasoning with her, shaking my head in denial of her words._

"I should thank Delly for wanting your pathetic ass. If it weren't for her, I might not have realized it and wasted all my time on _you."_

"No!" _I say with new passion, shutting my eyes as if to make it disappear, but her words are swirling around me, faster and faster like a merry-go-round and it's almost like I can't catch my breath-_

My eyes shoot open, glancing from left to right as the rest of my body lies paralyzed with fear, afraid that any sudden movement will automatically launch me back into the horrible world I've managed to escape.

I can see my chest rising and falling heavily from the corner of my eye, and wonder how long I've accidentally been out for, carefully untangling my tight limbs from their uncomfortable position on the bed.

My hand lands down on something that is too rough to be blanket and I notice the paper from the notebook lying next to me. Before I passed out from exhaustion and waining stress, I had managed to tape the old notebook page back together. It didn't look nearly as good as before, with see-through gaps between sections taped together and those small words still smudged from my earlier tears.

Falling asleep with water-stained eyes has left them crusted and puffy, forcing me to blink several times and rub them until they grow sore.

I wonder how long I've been out for as I reach for my cell phone that fell to the floor sometime in the middle of the night. When I click the middle button to light up the screen, I immediately forget about the clock at the top and zoom in on the message that flashes from Katniss.

Maybe I am still dreaming.

Or she's decided to contact me to tell me to pick up my shit, or something like that. Isn't that what typically happens when friends break up?

_Look, I know you're probably asleep or don't really care...but if you're reading this, I need you. Really badly. _

There's another message that continues directly after once I scroll down.

_Please._

Katniss is a sound sleeper, the only time she ever wakes up or has trouble falling asleep is when she has nightmares. I realize this is probably an irrational decision for her, and in the morning she'll regret it and want me to leave, but right now in this moment she needs me.

I glance at the time the messages were sent, around one in the morning. It's edging on two thirty now.

_Shit._

I'm on my feet before I have time to begin rationalizing the situation and am prying my door open, eager to get over there, unsure of what type of situation I'll find her in.

The doors to Bannock, Father and Rye's rooms are closed tight, signaling they're sleeping as I creep through the dimly lit hall and down the stairs leading to the door. I'm only down about the fourth stair when the door to Rye's room open and he eyes me, confused.

It doesn't look like he's slept at all, his expression alert and clothing un-crumpled. I watch as his gaze lands over my form, noting the jeans and shirt from earlier and most likely anxiety-ridden expression lacing my face.

"_What are you doing?"_

"_Could ask you the same thing," _I try appearing casual, turning attention to him and successfully taking it off of me.

"_Well, I was on my way to the bathroom and maybe to get a glass of water. Still haven't answered my question though."_

"_None of your business."_

"_If you're trying to sneak over to Katniss's at..." _he pauses to glance at his watch, _"Two forty-five in the morning, do yourself a favor and go back to sleep. She won't be awake and you'll see her in a few hours." _

"_It's none of your business, Rye," _I grumble. _"Go to bed."_

He rolls his eyes dramatically, shaking his head with annoyance, _"Don't you think you've fucked things up enough for one day?"_

Of course I do, that's why I need to try and _fix_ it.

The air is crisp as I step outside in the early morning and make my way to my car, blowing warm air into my fingers as I wait for the heat to kick on and warm the engine.

Mrs. Everdeen is still at work when I pull into the driveway, and won't be home until after the sun begins to rise. I know Prim and Katniss both know this and hope they don't get spooked hearing me walking into the house.

I slip through the Everdeen's front door, tucking my spare key back into my pocket and making sure the lock is turned before heading up to Katniss's room, blindly.

I must do a pretty good job keeping quiet, because neither girl comes out to investigate and when I open the door to Katniss's room, it's practically pitch black (besides the night lights set up for my benefit) and she is cuddled into a ball on her bed. Her back is turned to me, a detail I notice before shutting the door, and I can't tell if she's asleep or just laying there stiffly.

She must be asleep, because as I join her she stays unmoving, her chest evenly rising and falling. She's huddled closer to the side I typically sleep on, and I notice a pillow tucked under her arm, hugging it tightly to her body, her opened mouth resting on the center of it drowsily.

I don't wake her to let her know I came because I fear she might not be able to fall back asleep. Instead I close the space between our bodies and run my fingers idly through her hair. Her head turns just slightly at the movement and I still nervously, watching her intently.

Her posture is somewhat twisted, with her curled legs still facing the door and her upper half tilted in my direction, head resting on my chest. She must have showered sometime after my brothers dropped her off because her thick hair is still wet and smells strongly of fruit.

I watch her face in the dimly lit room. The way all the wrinkles that peppered her face earlier have relaxed, and her lips smoothed out into a soft line.

Between my earlier nightmares, the message from Katniss and the sense of misplaced security I feel now, sleep is the furthest thing on my mind. I watch as the darkness from outside begins to fade, light shining just barely through the window.

I lay in the same position as more time drifts away, running my fingers through her smooth hair and staring blankly at the wall before me.

When I first arrived, I hadn't slipped under the covers, in fear of accidentally waking her with my movements, but throughout the night as she tugged and pulled on the non-giving blankets I had no choice but to move beneath them, entangling myself further with her.

I refuse to put myself through the pain that comes when emotions get involved and try not to think of this as anything more than a job. I'm here to protect Katniss from herself, but must be gone before she wakes up.

If for nothing else, because I know I won't be all right when I see the looks of disgust and confusion that'll surely lace her face when her eyes first meet mine this morning.

She was already asleep last night when I arrived, so she must have not been that with it to begin with when she sent the original text message. She probably won't even remember it when she wakes up...

I sigh heavily at the thought, pulling back the covers and slipping out from underneath them. I brush the bangs out from where they've fallen in her face and place a quick and chaste kiss on top of her forehead; something I don't have the balls to do while she's conscious.

I sigh, shutting her door gently behind me as I exit.

That one small kiss to her forehead means more than _anything _Delly could possibly do.

* * *

The several hours between when I left Katniss's and when I'm expected at the bakery pass slowly. I try to get sleep for the first couple, but it comes in spurts leaving me more tired than before.

I give a dramatic yawn, sitting up more fully and noticing the crumpled and torn paper that lies on the un-used portion of my bed. It looks sad, pathetic and broken. So much so that I shove it into the notebook and slide the entire thing underneath my bed. I can't look at it anymore, I just..._can't._

My phone vibrates, shaking the bed just slightly and I lunge for it, hoping it might be Katniss. Of course it isn't, just like the past three messages I've received this morning weren't.

The first one that came in around nine this morning was from Gale, who wanted to know if I was all right or needed anything. The next one from Johanna, who told me I shouldn't have quit the wrestling team, with a smirking smiley face to end it.

I almost chuckled at that one, especially because I know it was said to cheer me up, but the sting of what followed my rash decision keeps me from doing so, or responding.

The final message was from Delly, who wanted to make sure I was still coming tonight to this thing going on at Annie's. I'm not sure what they were planning to do, but Delly thinks it'll help get my mind off of things, which I'm sure she's right.

I'm just still banking on Katniss and I making up at the bakery this afternoon.

_I'll let you know, _was my response to her, and now my newest message flashes obnoxiously signaling I have one un-read message from Finnick.

My hand tightens its grip on my phone as I open the small text box and see his overly friendly message staring back at me.

_Hey Peet! Just wanted to check in to see how you're doing since yesterday. Maybe we can talk a little bit?_

Not a chance in hell, asshole.

I shut the text with biting anger and throw it back onto my bed as I lazily grab clothing from around my room and head down the hallway for a quick shower before heading over to the bakery.

I continue to wonder if Katniss will even show up, and my mind flashes back to Bannock's words about how I should have used last night to think of what I might want to say to her if she _does._

As I let the water turn from cold to warm, I strip down from my dirty clothing and brush my teeth before stepping inside, mind cramping to arrange my thoughts in an accurate way to display my feelings.

_What Delly did meant absolutely nothing, _I rehearse in my mind. _I didn't ask her to. I didn't know you'd be coming over anyway, otherwise I would have never invited her._

...No.

_Maybe if you had messaged me first to let me know you'd be coming, the whole situation could have been avoided._

I groan, soaping up my hands before running them over my body. Anxiety begins to well up within me as I fight to form a coherent sentence, something that'll show her how sorry I am without sounding like an asshole, or like the entire problem is my fault.

I refuse to grovel, seeing as she dropped me as a friend to begin with _after_ sending me completely mixed emotions. However, it doesn't mean I don't want or need things fixed.

I sigh, standing under the water's current until all the shampoo from my hair runs out and down my body.

I've never been too good with expressing myself to anyone but her. She knows this about me, she knows everything about me.

So she's going to just have to trust me.

* * *

Dad is forced to stay at the bakery when Katniss doesn't show up for the two o'clock shift. He gets off the telephone with a new order and looks to me exasperatedly.

"_She must be running late," _he signs before scribbling something madly on the notepad by the register. _"She didn't call to say she wouldn't be in."_

I can't find the words to tell him she might have just quit.

I keep busy, decorating the cake for a child's birthday party that'll need to be finished in a few hours for when the family comes to pick it up. I'm just touching up the final balloon when I catch sight of someone slipping through the front door from the corner of my eye.

Dad rushes over to Katniss before she can even shut the door, and two begin chatting immediately. He places a hand over her shoulder and gives it a light pat before she smiles timidly at him, cheeks rosy and rushes to the back room to grab her apron and clock in.

"_Lost track of time," _Dad explains. _"She seems a little out of it. She's not normally like this."_

I only nod brokenly, pushing my bangs out of my face with my forearm and turning my attention back to the cake. Dad doesn't linger much longer, leaving just enough time to explain a couple of orders to Katniss before pulling down the street to get home.

As I suspect, Katniss makes no move to say anything to me and we move around the bakery in a way that keeps us out of contact with one another. She answers the telephone and cleans display cases while I knead and roll dough and finish decorating the cake.

The few times we catch each other's gaze through the thick air, we turn quickly, as if it hadn't happened at all. I find myself checking the clock every few minutes, wondering how much longer until the shift from hell ends.

We still have two and a half hours to go.

I chance a look over my shoulder and find her back is turned to me. Her fingers are tapping across the counter top and in her other hand is her music device. I wonder if she's singing...

I shake my head, turning back to the small balls of dough that lay on the pan in front of me and direct it to the ovens with a heavy sigh.

I can't take it any longer. The silence, the tension, the fact that less than twelve hours ago I was holding her in bed and now she won't even _look_ at me is too much. I need to talk with her, I've been rehearsing it in my mind all day, it's time to put an end to all of this.

I tap her shoulder with purpose, surprised when she turns immediately, as if knowing I would crack before she did. Her eyes don't meet mine, but instead she stares at my hands. Her cheeks are slightly more pink than usual.

"_We need to talk," _I begin and she folds her arms, daring me to continue. I shift under her black eyes, swallowing heavily.

"_Listen, the kiss you saw wasn't what it looked like," _I start to explain, but the moment I say "kiss" her head is shaking in disagreement.

"_It looked like you kissed Delly."_

"_That's what I'm trying to tell you," _I sign, frustratedly. _"She kissed _me! _Not the other way around."_

"_But you didn't stop her. You didn't even try to stop her, Peeta!"_

Anger that I promised myself I'd keep from bubbling forth begins to well in the pit of my stomach and I can feel my throat vibrating with a growl as I throw my hands up to my head, running them through my hair.

"_Anytime you'd like to stop throwing yourself a pity party, you can, Kat," _that gets her attention, and for the first time since we arrive at the bakery she's looking directly into my eyes, hers piercing with anger, jaw clenched tightly. My mind wills me to stop, to backtrack and keep my cool, but it's too late and her smug expression doesn't help matters.

"_You act so innocent, like you're perfect and don't do anything wrong. I'm not the only one who fucked up! I _saw_ you signing with Finnick," _the way her eyes widen prove my point of her guiltiness exactly.

"_Oh, Peeta, get over yourself," _she hisses, whipping her head in the other direction so quickly her braid smacks my chest. She's bundling up her headphones and making her way across the bakery for her coat when I cut her off, stepping in front of the rack.

"_Move," _she growls.

"_I could say the same to you, Katniss," _I insist, _"To get over yourself."_

"_You were _kissing_ her!" _her mouth moves widely with her hands, and I know she's screaming at me. _"You could have blocked it if you wanted to, it wouldn't have been the first time!"_

I'm silent, watching her busy hands.

"_You had no problem blocking me that morning in my bed," _her mouth opens much smaller now, her tone and body language dropping from enragement to sadness. _"If you didn't want her to kiss you, you could have stopped it."_

I study her for a long moment. Her eyes, glossy with tears she won't dare let spill over in front of me, and hands shaky with the effort it's taking her to stay calm. They move to her braid for a long second before she finally looks back up at me, her eyes pleading.

"_Please move."_

"_Is that what you think? That I didn't want you to kiss me?"_

"_Peeta-"_

I know my mind isn't working rationally, and right now more than ever I'm thinking with my emotions more than my mind, but I can't help it when my hand snakes to rest on her cheek, tilting her head up in my direction. Her lips part just slightly as I run my thumb over her soft skin and I can see her eyes fighting to close as I move in closer to her.

My eyes close on their own accord just as my mouth presses to hers, only to fly open in bewilderment just a second later, because it's definitely not her lips that mine are in contact with.

It's her knuckle.

Katniss's hand is over the top of her mouth and only moves once I've straightened my position away from her.

"_No," _she says, like she's reprimanding a bad dog. _"You chose your normal, and it doesn't involve me."_

She moves around my stilled body to grab her coat and exits the bakery without another word, leaving me stunned speechless, and feeling more hollow than before.

* * *

The door swings open for the first time about forty minutes after Katniss bails, leaving me by myself to manage the bakery, an impossible task.

Rye finds me, sitting on the ground behind the countertop with my legs pushed into my chest and staring blankly at the floor. I meet his eyes and his expression softens, like he's a hundred times less stressed out before they harden with anger.

"_Where is Katniss?"_

"_Not here."_

"_Where the hell is she?"_

"_How am I supposed to fucking know?" _I snap, pushing myself back onto my feet, the blood rushing from my head a little too fast. I dust any flour that might have attached itself to my backside off, creating a small white cloud around my lower half.

"_Well, I tried calling. Shit," _he stops mid-sentence to pick up the phone, his expression turning professional as he nods with understanding and begins to jot down an order for someone who's probably called for the past half an hour.

He hangs up and runs a hand through his hair, his cheeks holding a large breath of air before he releases it heavily.

"_Why don't we just call it a day? All the orders are filled. That family came in to pick up the birthday cake, right?"_

I nod and he nods back, patting me on the back as I strip from my apron.

"_I take it the conversation with you and Katniss didn't go well?"_

"_Just drop it, please." _

For once in his life, Rye simply listens.

* * *

Delly comes to pick me up for Annie's around five thirty after I message her to let her know I could definitely make it. She seems ecstatic as she bounces down my driveway and jumps into the driver's seat of her car.

I bend down slowly - her car sits low to the ground and isn't very forgiving for tall people like myself.

"_You can push that seat back, silly," _she smiles largely to me, motioning to the level between my feet. I push it back and breathe a sigh, feeling a whole lot less claustrophobic. She gives me a short wink before pulling out of the driveway, one that makes the painted smile I wear fade immediately.

I'm not sure _how_ to bring it up to Delly, but we need to have some sort of conversation about last night. I'm sure, whatever her motives were and whatever she said to Katniss was only out of anger she felt in defending me...

But it was mean enough to make her _cry. _So horrible that Katniss hates me now for not defending her, I need to let her know it's inappropriate. Then again, I don't have a great track record with talking to people as of late.

Delly's hand casually sneaks off the steering wheel to pat the edge of my kneecap, sending me jerking out of her reach by reaction. I watch as a smirk crosses her features and her lingering hand moves back to its spot near her.

I eye her carefully, almost disgustedly, but she never acknowledges me even though I'm sure she can see.

Surely she must know we're not a _couple_ because of the kiss last night. She has to know she completely took advantage of a vulnerable situation and nothing will come as a result.

I was a wreck last night when she came over, so of course she fed me all the lines she knew I'd wish to hear.

"_You don't deserve that, Peeta."_She had thrown me every bone I was basically begging for, completely validating my feelings and siding with every word I signed.

"_You can do so much better,"_ that's when she placed a shy hand on top of my thigh and rubbed it, just enough to make me grow uncomfortable. I glanced down at her hand and back up just as her face touched mine...

There's a soft tap on my shoulder and I turn to meet Delly's puzzled expression. Her lips twist up as my eyes meet hers and she points in the direction of the house.

"_You were out of it," _she signs gleefully as we make our way closer to the front entrance. _"I must have tapped my hand on the dashboard ten times before finally nudging you. Thinking hard, or hardly thinking?"_

I see her hands moving, but the words don't stick in my scattered mind. I can see the disappointment on her features as I cast a simple smile in response and hold the door open for her.

Annie's house is nice, much more reasonable in size than Delly's, but well put together. All the walls are the same shade of off white and she has bright furniture to accent each room.

Her parents must not be home, or if they are, they're hiding somewhere because otherwise they're nowhere to be found.

Annie greets us almost immediately, grabbing hold of Delly to lock her into a massive hug before smiling happily in my direction, wrapping an arm around my middle.

"_I'm so happy you came," _she grins, glancing behind me toward the door with hopeful eyes. _"Did Katniss come too?"_

"_...No," _I respond after a long pause, meeting her confused eyes. _"She had stuff she had to do."_

There's no use going into an explanation. It'd only kill the atmosphere and it's not Annie's problem to have to piece back together.

Her shoulders deflate before she shrugs her shoulders in response, _"I'll have to let her know she's going to miss out on a lot of fun. Finnick is coming tonight too, you know."_

I do a double take in her direction as my eyes widen while I take in her words. My cheeks and hands feel cold with loss of blood and I can feel my stomach sporadically flipping and tightening inside my body.

"_Finnick? Why?" _I question, trying to make sense of her words, to piece together a reason Finnick would even be invited to one of these things.

Annie senses my confusion, most likely taking in my blank stare as I fight to keep my expression neutral, neither showing my hate or my fright.

"_They didn't tell you? I can't believe they didn't tell you!"_

"_No they... didn't." _

"_I ran into Finnick Friday night at the store."_

"_You did?" _

She nods, her eyes dreamily distant as a slow smile dances to her lips. She goes into explaining the whole story, how he and Johanna were in the same aisle as her, and she could see him contemplating talking to her before she finally let him know it was all right.

"_Katniss must not have told him I can read lips. Talk too. He looked extremely surprised," _she continues, her shoulders shaking with laughter.

Apparently they exchanged numbers with one another Friday night, and have since been talking non-stop.

"_Can you believe Katniss has been teaching him sign language, just to talk to me?"_

Her words hit me hard and fast, knocking the wind out of me as I try to decipher their meaning. My heart begins picking up pace as I study her for any sign of teasing. There is none.

"_I... what?" _

"_Yes! He was so nervous to come over and talk to me, but once we exchanged numbers he let me know he'd been taking secret sign lessons so we could have a conversation. I can't believe he went to all the effort."_

"_Peeta?" _she signs a second later when I don't respond. I can feel my throat tensing and my hands develop a steady shake as I fight to keep myself under control.

Katniss and Finnick... the image of them sitting in her living room Friday afternoon, signing with one another, the unexplainable closeness they've developed, every single thing I've_ fucking misread._

"_So... Finnick likes you?" _I question in bewilderment, blinking rapidly.

Annie rolls her eyes playfully nudging me._"Well he sure as hell doesn't have the hots for you!"_

I feel like I might throw up all over Annie's tiled flooring.

What the hell did I do?

* * *

So let me start by saying WOW I can't believe With Eyes to Hear passed 1,000 reviews last chapter! I was so amazed to see that. Thank you guys so much for all the support you've continued to show since the beginning of this story! Everything you guys do means so much to me.

That being said, I know a couple of people were wondering how many more chapters there are left in WETH. There are eighteen chapters total, including the epilogue, so there are two more actual chapters and then an epilogue and WETH is officially finished :(

But, as some of you may have heard on tumblr, there will be a sequel! I'll be giving out more details after Chapter 18 (The Epilogue).

(Also, see my profile for some details regarding Hide and Seek).

Thank you so much! You can find me on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) or twitter (passtheheroin).


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins**_._

A big thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for all their help with this chapter.

* * *

Chapter Sixteen: In Which There is (alot of) Rain

Peeta Mellark & Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_October 2012_

"_Okay, we need to find one quickly, Peeta. It's already two o'clock," _Katniss signs after checking her phone as we walk into the costume shop a couple towns over from ours.

"_It's no one's fault but our own if we don't find anything," _I remind her, holding the door open with my foot for Katniss to pass through. She smacks my chest with the back of her hand as she passes.

We've known about Johanna's Halloween party for weeks now, it's the same one she has each year, but as always, we've waited until the very last minute to find a costume and now are forced to pick through the left overs.

Usually, we do better than the _day of _though.

"_All right, Mom," _Katniss retorts grumpily, making me chuckle as she sifts through a clearance rack. I watch as she scrunches up her nose at the majority of them, sighing deeply the further she moves around it and biting her lip in frustration.

We decided we would coordinate costumes this year, but so far the only male/female costumes I'm seeing are medieval princesses and princes. I know Katniss would agree that that isn't even _in _the running.

"_We'll find one," _I promise, tucking the hideous costume further back onto the rack. _"Remember, we just got here."_

"_Why don't you go look on that other rack?" _Katniss suggests. I shake my head, following her instructions and glancing around the nearby stacks of costumes for anything. She gets so stressed out, but in the end it's only a party, and we'll only be wearing these silly things for a couple of hours.

There's a wall of accessories toward the far right side of the shop, where I find several horror masks, knifes, handcuffs, and _kinky _handcuffs. I pick up the latter, chuckling to myself at the cheap pink fuzz glued around them.

When I turn to show them to Katniss, she's no longer at the rack she was when I left, or any of the surrounding ones. My eyebrows knit together as I glance around, placing the handcuffs down and searching around the front of the store for her.

It's dead. Of course it is, because it's _two o'clock on fucking Halloween, _and the store isn't _that _big, so surely it can't be too hard to locate her.

I walk up and down a couple aisles before spotting her long braid, swishing back and forth as she shakes her head. She holds a couple hangers in her hands that have plastic around them, hiding whatever costume lies inside.

She turns from where she's chatting with the sales clerk to smile broadly when I tap her shoulder, and holds one of the bags out to me. I glance down at it suspiciously, then back up at her, but she's back to talking with the employee.

There's a small picture in the corner of the bag where a person models the costume and it catches my eye as I look it over in greater detail.

_What the hell?_

This guy has on the most horrible looking brown wig I've ever seen, with a pointy green hat on top and around his body is this small green... thing...

And _tights._

I tap Katniss's shoulder again, this time more urgently and she turns back exasperatedly, silently asking me _what?_

"_What the hell is this?" _I question, pointing to the picture after I finish asking.

"_Just try it on."_

"_He's wearing tights, Katniss," _I frown, shaking my head. _"I'm not wearing tights!"_

"_He's Peter Pan. Of course he's wearing tights," _Katniss says, as if it's obvious. _"I'm going to be Tinker Bell and you're going to be Peter Pan."_

I look to her unbelievingly as she chuckles to herself.

"_Or should I say P-E-E-T-A Pan?" _she laughs more hardily, only stopping to cast an annoyed look to me when I don't join in.

"_Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?"_

"_You didn't even ask me if this is what I wanted to be."_

"_Well, you haven't even tried it on. You might like it. Come on Peeta, there's not much left. It'll be funny."_

"_Easy for you to say," _I snort with disgust. _"Sorry I don't particularly want everyone laughing at me."_

"_Not _at_ you," _Katniss corrects. _"With."_

"_Am I laughing?" _I frown and she rolls her eyes.

"_Peeta, what is the big deal? It's a costume."_

"_Yeah, well I'm already the deaf guy," _I bite back at her. _"Now you want me to be the deaf guy in tights!"_

The corner of her lips twitch up in our silence and I can tell by the way she bites it she's trying hard not to laugh. Her eyes grow slightly watery before she burst into laughter, practically doubling over to control herself.

I watch her, wanting nothing more than to stay mad, because she's being fucking _inconsiderate, _but the expressions she makes while laughing have always been contagious and against my will, I find myself chiming into her laughter lightly at first, but it only deepens the longer she continues to laugh.

"_I'm sorry, I'm sorry," _she signs a couple minutes later, as we re-compose ourselves.

"_What the hell are we fighting about anyway?" _I snicker before she points down to the bagged costume with a sheepish look.

"_Tights."_

"_I'm still not wearing them," _I inform her, though the smile I'm unable to wipe off my face brings my threat level down a few notches.

"_All right, kill joy. We'll keep looking, I suppose."_

She hands the costumes to the clerks before taking my hand in hers and leading the way out of the costume store, back into her car. She turns it on, blasting the heat on the cool fall day and rubs her hands together before turning back to me.

"_So what now, genius?" _she asks with a raised eyebrow.

"_I don't know. Isn't there anything more... us, anyway?"_

She thinks for a long minute before her body wracks with a small laughter, _"It's like we go in our bakery uniform or something."_

Her eyes lock with mine, and our lips curl up into smiles in unison.

"_Perfect."_

* * *

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_January 2013- Sunday_

There's a solid three knocks on the door, followed almost instantly by another three when I don't open immediately. Rye is on his third round of knocks when I tug the door open, looking him over with confusion.

His cheeks are red from the chill all the way up to his ears, and his smile pulls up like two strings attached to either end of his cheeks. He waves shortly before sticking his hands in his pockets and doing some sort of jig on my front porch.

"Oh, uh do you want to come in?"

"Yes," he breathes, pushing past me almost immediately into the warmth.

I watch him kick off his shoes with a snort and cross my arms, eyeing him suspiciously as he glances around the pantry. He finds a couple packets of hot chocolate and pulls them free from the container before grinning toothily at me, waving them around.

"Come over to personally fire me?" I ask, snatching them and gliding into the kitchen, pulling out two mugs and filling them up with hot water.

"What? No, of course not," he insists, shaking his head before snickering to himself, "Dad doesn't have enough employees as it is."

I can't help the smirk that rises to my face and try to hide it behind a mask of hair that's fallen into my face.

"So, just a social visit then?" I wonder, placing the mugs in the microwave.

"Are you and Peeta getting a divorce?"

Rye has never been one to beat around the bush, but rather wishes to jump right into the meat of conversation in order to save time. I look at him with disbelief before sighing. His eyes are wide with sincerity and he sticks his hands back in his pockets awkwardly.

"It's a difficult situation," I mutter.

"So you are, then?"

"Rye, sometimes these things just don't work out," I say, my tone almost soothing as I reach up to pat him on the cheek. "I'm sorry."

"It's not fair!" he grunts, plopping down into the dining room chair while I stir the packets of hot cocoa into the cups, bringing one to him and setting the other in front of me.

"I never said it was."

"Well what the hell are Bannock and I supposed to do now? Of course we _have_ to see Peeta, but we _love_ you."

I smile against the mug, the heat rising stinging my lips just slightly.

"I love you guys too."

"Then you should fix it."

I sigh, resting my head in the palm of my hand, leaning against the tabletop.

"There's only so much you can do when the other person doesn't _want_ to fix it," I whisper, and Rye is silent for a long minute. I'm sure Peeta didn't tell him about the attempted kiss, because surely by now he'd have brought it up.

I'm still not sure what game Peeta was trying to play by doing that, but remembering the hurt that laced his eyes and the way he pushed me away after the last time we kissed, I knew I wouldn't be able to take the rejection again.

And I wouldn't want to revolt him so badly as to land him in the arms of Delly again.

If what Peeta did in the bakery was his way of "fixing" things, he's more immature than I originally thought. The way he came at me accusingly, insisting he knew things he didn't know _shit _about and then using it as an excuse for what he did...

"Don't worry Katniss," Rye comforts, taking a long sip of his drink. "Everything is going to work out, you'll see."

"I hope you're right, Rye," I mumble, but my tone is enough proof to show I don't believe him.

"Of course I'm right," he snorts. "Peeta's an idiot, but he really cares about you. Damn fool was basically sprinting down the stairs this morning to get to your house."

My head snaps up with his words and he eyes me just a moment longer than usual before turning back to the table, running his fingers along its smooth lines.

"Yeah, nearly three in the morning. I told him he'd better just stay home, but I don't know, he was acting strange."

So he _had_ come over. This still didn't answer my question about whether or not the kiss I felt on my forehead was imaginary or not, but at least I know he came.

My heart beats slightly faster at the revelation and I frown, as the feeling of being emotionally and mentally confused settles within me.

"I asked him to come over," I whisper to Rye, who seems surprised by this revelation.

"I..." I'm not sure how to say this without seeming completely unstable and overly emotional. Especially after my hysterical episode yesterday. Rye probably doesn't know what to do with himself, having never seen me so distraught.

Even when Dad died, I tried to pull myself together around most people. Peeta was basically the only person I allowed to see me once I had completely fallen apart.

"Sometimes I have these bad dreams," I try to play it off nonchalantly. "I don't know... Peeta is just good at comforting me and stuff. He makes it better. I knew we were fighting and everything, but I was so confused and... scared. I just needed him to come over."

Rye is silent.

"You must think I'm the biggest fucking pussy in the world."

He shakes his head slowly from left to right before leaning into me closer, "Peeta has nightmares too."

I suck in a breath with his words, holding it there until my chest begins to cramp uncomfortably.

"Although most the time, his are about losing you."

* * *

_February 2013- Monday _

The weather is unbearably dreary out when my alarm clock signals it's time for me to get up. I turn onto my back with a low grunt, watching as rain drizzles consistently down the window. The sun is hidden behind gloomy clouds and rain varies between soft and hard tempos on the pavement almost musically.

It'd be the perfect day to turn back over in bed and fall asleep. I might have considered bailing on school, especially after this hell of a weekend, but today is the protest and even if I can pretend I don't give a flying fuck about Peeta anymore, I can't hide that I still care incredibly about the cause.

So, I get out of my warm and cozy bed, my skin pebbling from the chilly morning air. I yawn loudly, stretching out my limbs before lazily walking across the bedroom to see if my shirt has finished drying.

After Rye's talk yesterday, I ended up fixing my t-shirt so it's somewhat wearable. To make the large blue paint splatter fit in, I did the same effect in different colors all around the front and back. The hands I had attempted to draw in the shape of the 'I love you' sign look horrendous, but the shirt is completed and upon inspection, dry.

I take a quick shower, not bothering to dry my hair but simply tuck it back into my typical braid, causing pieces of it to freeze stiffly when the rain hits it on the way to the car.

Prim's shirt came out nicely, a hell of a lot nicer than mine. Her neat handwriting spells out "Love Doesn't Discriminate" and she has a couple of small handprints marked in sporadic places. She notices my stare as I start the car up and smiles sympathetically at my mess.

"It doesn't look so bad, Kat."

I frown in her direction as she buckles her seat belt.

"Just keep your sweatshirt on."

Our typical morning commute of five minutes takes nearly three times that with the blockage of cars and buses to the loop. I can only assume the traffic jam is our doing. The staff must be flipping out by now, especially Principal Snow. We've tried extremely hard to keep this entire operation under wraps until the morning of, only letting interested students and community members in on the Monday morning "surprise."

The image of Snow pulling on his thin gray hairs as he contemplates what to do without seeming like a complete tool is enough to have me cracking a smirk.

My phone buzzes from its spot in my cup holder and I pull it out to see a message from Finnick, wondering where Prim and I are.

_The reporters told me they'd be here around eight o'clock. They want to get footage while everyone is still really riled up._

_On our way. _I respond quickly, as the longest red light in the history of Panem finally turns green allowing us to cruise through behind a couple of buses.

"Holy shit, look at the parking lot!" Prim bursts, her lips wide with shock, turning up at the edges.

She's right. _Holy shit. _The entire thing is filled with cars, so much so that people have resorted to parking off to the side of the small lawn that covers the side of the building. Outside, a large mix of students hover outside the school doors. It's hard to tell who is there to help out with the protest and who is simply getting off the bus, but the plethora of signage I see has me thinking many are there to help.

Through the closed window I can hear someone on a megaphone, though their voice is distorted through the speaker and unidentifiable.

"Park! Park!" Prim chants, grinning wildly out the window, bouncing up and down in her seat.

"I can't just _park_ in the middle of the lane," I grumble, pulling up and down aisles before squeezing tightly in between two other small cars. Prim jumps out, leaving her book bag in the front of my car and bouncing off toward the commotion. Apparently, she doesn't think we'll be attending any classes today.

I follow quickly behind her, weaving in-between cars and buses to get to the strip of sidewalk leading up to the school doors.

"Why all the hate? Don't discriminate! Why all the hate? Don't discriminate!" It's Johanna who's chanting into the megaphone, her slogan one that she pitched to me back in November that didn't quite cut it for our posters. But now that she's screaming it out and getting others to join her, I can't help but laugh.

"Why all the hate? Don't di-Hey! Katniss!" she cuts off mid-belt and jumps off the small stool she's been standing on to properly greet me. I've lost Prim somewhere in the mess, but sure she's found at least one familiar face in the endless crowd.

"You made it, and I'm loving the shirt," she sings, pulling my sweatshirt out further so she can view more of the abomination. I roll my eyes and she winks, waving the megaphone in her hand.

"Look what I got put in charge of."

"Surprise, surprise," I grumble.

"Want to help?"

"No, I think you have it covered. Hey, do you know where Finnick is?"

"Uh, somewhere over there," she points a little further past where she stands before jumping back on top of her platform. "He's with Annie."

Annie came? I didn't realize she was planning on missing school to come here. I know it's high hopes to wonder if Peeta happened to tag along with her.

"Okay, thanks," I call out to Johanna, but she's already back into her chant, moving her hands around wildly and already forming a small crowd of followers who gladly take flyers.

I weave in and out of people, jostling to the right and stumbling on my feet as a particularly rough book bag slams into my side. I nearly crash to the ground with the force when an arm grabs hold of me, supporting me until I gain balance.

Annie smiles down at me, adjusting my sweatshirt before waving shyly.

"_Hey stranger,"_ she grins, taking me in. _"We missed you last night."_

My mind racks through what "last night" was before I remember the text message I received from Finnick, saying he was at Annie's and saw Peeta pull up with Delly. I was actually extremely shocked with the news, another reason I nearly chose to not show up this morning.

Because literally _two hours_ before, he had been attempting to kiss me. It makes me happy I stood firm in my decision, to block his lips from mine and as hard as it was, walk away.

He's proven my point exactly. He doesn't give a fuck about me, or if he does he hasn't figured out exactly how to show it yet.

"_Yeah, I had... things," _I sign as I speak lamely, adding a nervous chuckle at the end before biting my lip. _"Where's Finnick?"_

I watch as Annie's eyes literally light up at the mention of his name, and her confused expression turns to a large grin. She turns her head quickly behind her and points a little ways down where Finnick stands with an arm full of flyers and puffy eye.

The deep red that stained his upper cheek and eye Friday has turned an angry shade of purple, causing me to wince.

_"Poor thing,"_ Annie mumbles, noting my expression. _"I told him to catch the ball with his hands next time in gym."_

Her comment catches me off guard for a minute before I force a small laugh out at her joke. Finnick obviously didn't tell her the actual reasoning behind his newest look.

"_Excuse me for just a minute?" _I question and she nods, moving aside as I head closer to Finnick. With less people in the way, he notices me immediately and his plastered smile deepens.

"Hey, Katniss!"

"Gym accident, huh?"

His expression falters before he shrugs sheepishly, handing another flyer out to a student who walks by.

"Well, ya know. No need to ruin his reputation."

"He thought we were in love."

Finnick coughs on the air, turning to me with knitted eyebrows and a dazed expression.

"Wait... _you_ and _me? _Why the hell did he think that?" He's a little too surprised for my liking, and must sense it because he immediately backtracks. "I mean, not that you're not cute or anything but-"

"I get it."

"Why?" he asks again.

"He saw us signing," I mumble. "Friday afternoon together."

"Ohhh," Finnick speaks slowly, as if he does not really understand fully. He licks his finger before pulling another paper loose and handing it off. "Well, I guess I'd be a little pissed off too."

"I'm sorry again."

"Why?" he snorts. "Annie's been taking good care of me."

His eyes drift off to where she stands a few feet away, leaning against one of the lamp posts with her hands deep in her pockets.

I know it's selfish, but I can't help feeling an intense pang of sadness and longing at the way he stares at her, and her him.

"It's funny how people creep up on you, isn't it?" he mutters, shaking his head before turning back to me lazily.

"I'm going to ask her if she wants to go out sometime, I think."

"Damn, you haven't asked her out on a date yet? Is Odair losing his magic touch or something?"

"What? No. I just...well, I was thinking-"

"I think you're going soft on us," I sing, nudging him playfully. "Learning a language, nervous about a date. It's cute, really."

"Shut the hell up, I'm not going _soft."_

"Right."

"You're one to talk. _How long _have you had the hots for Peeta and you _still_ haven't kissed him. Well, officially yet. Maybe we need to get you drunk again."

"Finnick..."

"What?"

"Enough," I bite. It's not his fault; he has no idea about yesterday or what happened in the bakery. All he knows is I'm basically hand-delivering Delly to Peeta by not making any bold moves.

Immediately, he senses my discomfort and his expression turns from playful to solemn. We're quiet for a long minute before I grab half his stack of papers and begin handing them out alongside him.

"I'm surprised at the turn out," I finally mention. "I didn't expect this."

"Really? It's all everyone has been talking about all week."

I look to him confused and he chuckles before knocking his knuckles on top of my head.

"Earth to Everdeen, where have you been, space cadet? Yeah, there was there was a whole event for it on facebo- _oh right, _you don't _have_ one."

"I don't see the need for one."

"Well now you're out of the loop, weirdo," he snickers.

The bell rings, signaling classes will be starting soon, and we watch as the large crowd outside begins to dwindle down. There's still a solid fifty or so, holding signs, passing out flyers and helping to gain signatures for the petition, but by the time the final bell rings, the large crowd I needed to weave through has vanished.

There's a blood-curdling hiss along the loud speaker, like nails on a chalkboard, from the too-old equipment before Principal Snow's voice rings out.

"Attention students." The entire bus loop is dead silent, listening. "In the next five minutes, the doors to the building will be locked. Any students who are not inside within that time period will face the possibility of suspension or expulsion."

I wait for the small crowd around us to evaporate, leaving only the few first rebels. We knew we'd probably face suspension, or even possibly expulsion, it was something we talked about weeks ago when we first began planning this entire thing.

But that was only Madge, Gale, Johanna, Finnick, Prim and I. The other forty or so students might not care that much. I'm not sure if they even really _know_ Peeta.

"That is all."

With a click, we're left to our silence again and curious looks are passed between one another.

But no one makes a move toward the building.

"Well shit, he knows how to kill a party," Finnick grumbles, looking down at his watch before moving in Annie's direction, motioning for her to follow. When I stand frozen, he turns his head and points toward the group of people who stand closer to the school.

"You coming?"

My feet move quickly, jogging lightly to catch up before matching their pace toward the group of chattering students left in the lot.

"How long can he possibly _expel _us for?" Johanna snorts. "Especially once he sees his ass on the evening news. That fucker will be begging for us to come back peacefully."

"Always the way with words, Johanna's right," Gale speaks, and I silently note the way his hand is entwined with Madge's.

Why the fuck is everyone _happy_ but me?

"I say let him try."

"Does he know the news is coming?" Madge asks, taking a short sip of her tea. I watch the steam rising through the lid and wish I had a drink of my own to warm my numbing fingers.

"Probably not," Johanna continues. "He had no idea about this morning. Otherwise he would have set up a barricade or something."

"When are they getting here?"

"Should be here any minute," Finnick mutters, shifting awkwardly on his feet. He seems tense, much more nervous than I'm used to the boy with too much confidence having before finally turning in Annie's direction, his mouth open before closing.

He lifts his hands, giving her a timid and unsure smile before taking a deep breath.

"_A-N-N-I-E...you date with me? _Wait, shit. That wasn't how I wanted to say it. Uh... _A-N-N-I-E you and me-"_

She cuts him off by pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, hers reddening with the action before he laces his hands around her neck to pull her into him more fully.

"Yes," she concludes, almost breathless when their lips part.

His goofy grin reappears as he grabs her hand in his and holds it high in the air.

"She said yes, ladies and gentlemen!" he belts out, sending the small crowd around us into hooting round of applause.

I clap too, much less enthusiastically despite myself, but I'm able to smile encouragingly at them, at least I think.

Something about the scene haunts me. The way his nervous hands shake as he fights to get out what he wants so desperately to tell her. Her careful, but budding grin when he finally spits it out.

It reminds me so much of Peeta and I that I actually feel sick. My stomach gurgles and churns inside my body and I feel my face begin to enflame red.

Because that was supposed to be Peeta and I.

How did we get so far in such a short amount of time?

The words I said to him replay in my mind. How I refused to look at him dismissively, basically throwing away our carefully constructed friendship as soon as things got too hard.

No wonder he went off with Delly yesterday. Finnick is right, I'm basically wrapping her up and tying the bow too. She seems pretty damn great compared to me. Comforting him, supplying the things I can't.

I can't understand what it's like to be him. I will never know, no matter how hard I try and Delly... _does. _

She's right, of course. I need him much more than he needs me.

The camera crew shows up shortly after Finnick's admission to Annie and everyone takes their places on the side lines as Johanna and primarily Finnick prepare to give their small speech to the town about why Peeta should be allowed back in school and how if they haven't yet, they should sign the petition to present to the school board.

"Okay, I'm going to count down from twenty, and then when you see the red light, begin talking immediately. We don't have much film so we're going to try doing this in one take," the man speaks patiently.

The rain has started back up since its small break, and they make quick work to cover the equipment with rain gear, and pitch umbrellas.

Madge links her arm through mine, holding her own umbrella over the top of my head and smiling reassuringly at me. I must look like a damn mess.

"Fifteen, fourteen, thirteen..."

I wonder if Peeta is even going to take the time to watch the segment tonight, or if he even cares at this point. Why would he _want_ to come back to me? I've given him no good reason to.

"Seven, six, five..."

"Finnick, wait!" I call out, pulling myself free from Madge's embrace and walking purposely toward where they stand. Everyone's attention turns to me and I feel like I'm swallowing an elephant with my next breath.

A knowing smile creeps to Finnick's lips as he basically holds the microphone out to me.

I nod my head slowly, unsurely.

"I think I want to talk."

* * *

"Um, hi I'm Katniss Everdeen from... Panem Senior High School..."

I cringe, hearing my nervous and shaking voice through the television screen as they replay footage from the protest this morning on the six o'clock news. I'm moving too much, almost sickeningly so and my hands continue to ball themselves up in the sleeves of my sweatshirt jacket.

With Mom having had to work the night shift, and Prim spending the night with a friend, I'm left to my own devices in the quiet house and sit curled up on the couch with a blanket and hot chocolate, listening to the rain pound down outside.

It stopped only for a little while around eleven o'clock when we decided it was time to head out. We definitely weren't welcomed back inside the school, and with the news segment over and no one around but us protesters, there was really no point in staying. By four o'clock, it was consistently pouring again.

_For the best, _I reason. _Washes away all the snow, hopefully._

And it isn't like I have anywhere I need to go. It's actually a relaxing melody against the window.

Mr. Mellark gave me the afternoon off, saying Rye volunteered to take my shift. He sounded confused as he spoke the words but I was silently breathing a sigh of relief. I owed Rye big time, because I'm not sure after all the anxiety of today, I could have stayed in the bakery with Peeta.

I watch with a groan as I ramble on for a good minute about nonsense before sighing largely and handing the microphone to Finnick.

"Hold this..."

He does, and I have to laugh as the camera picks up on the good side of his face and he flashes a winning smile. He holds the microphone up to my lips and I pull my sleeves up past my wrists, holding them level with my eyes and breathing heavily.

All around me is silence. I remember hoping over and over to myself internally that by some minuscule chance, Peeta flips on the news tonight.

"_My best friend, P-e-e-t-a M-e-l-l-a-r-k has been denied the rights to learn in this environment because he is too much of a hassle or liability,_" I'm signing in time with my words, staring intently into the camera, as if it were Peeta himself were standing there.

"_Today, we are fighting not just for him, but for people like my friend A-n-n-i-e, or future kids in the area who no longer wish to be segregated for something beyond their control. Please, help us win this battle and stop the discrimination._"

I don't realize I'm biting my nails until I see my image flash a quick 'I love you' sign to the camera and the news cuts to commercial.

I rip my fingers from my lips and push the blanket off from on top of me, moving into the kitchen to try and whip up something for dinner. I try ignoring the sting of embarrassment that lingers on my cheeks as I chop some cheese up into cubes and pull out some crackers.

I should have just let Finnick talk. The message would have come out much more clearly and he wouldn't have made such an ass out of himself. As much as I was hoping Peeta might see the broadcasting tonight, I'm now silently wishing he misses it.

_You did the right thing, _I internally chant the same message I've been telling myself all day. _Humiliating as it was, it was the right fucking thing._

I walk cautiously from the kitchen back to the living room, balancing my plate and cup while trying not to slip on the floors in my smooth and fuzzy socks.

With every boom of thunder I jump, silently swearing at myself for the stupid quirk. I've never been much for_ thunderstorms._ Not since my dad never came home after one.

I've just taken my first bite of food when a pounding knock sounds on the door anxiously. I jolt into an upright position, my heart beating a little faster as I quietly make my way to the front of the house as a new wave of thunder rolls through, shaking the house. The pounding resumes immediately after and nervously, I peek through the peephole in the door, meeting a soaking wet mop of blonde hair.

My breath catches in my throat as my hands clumsily fumble with the lock on the door before it flies open. Peeta's eyes widen at the sudden movement, his lips pressed into a tight line and immediately he begins signing madly.

"_Katniss, I... I really fucked up," _I glance behind him as he continues to sign and notice there is no car in the driveway besides mine. I motion for him to come further inside and he obliges, pressing past the threshold and standing awkwardly in the center of the hallway.

I watch a small puddle begin to form on the floors as saturation drips from his clothing before meeting his urgent eyes once more.

"_I saw Annie and Finnick yesterday and she explained the whole thing. I wanted to come over but... I didn't know what to say. I'm such an asshole, I'm so sorry,"_

"_Peeta."_

"_Then I saw your news segment-"_

"_Peeta..."_

"_I just want you to know that what you think you saw between Delly and I...it wasn't the case. I don't love her, I don't even particularly _like _her... I... I just..." _he runs a shaking hand over his dripping hair and sighs deeply. _"I love you, and I can't lose you either." _

Our movements screech to a halt and the only noise that can be heard is that of the whipping rain outside the door. His cheeks color immediately with his words, but his eyes refuse to leave their stare on mine. Slowly, he raises his hand up and signs _I love you_ to me once more with a timid and crooked smile.

"_I just needed to tell you that before-"_

"_-Just kiss me, would you?" _I cut him off, covering his hands with mine and for a split second I see his eyes light up before his lips meet mine. It's unlike our sloppy drunk kiss, or the several attempted kisses that followed.

We're in sync now, and all of the passion and emotion that we've swallowed and tried hard to fight against is erupting, shooting through my body and producing a tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I'm quick to lace my fingers through his hair, pulling just slightly as his hands tighten their grip on my hips, pushing his own in closer. Our lips only part for brief seconds at a time, when we gasp for air and hungrily meet again.

My back meets the hallway wall and I find myself sandwiched between it and Peeta's shivering form. My clothing is quickly becoming wet with our bodies so close, but I only hold on tighter, unable to get close enough to the feel of him I've missed so much.

I memorize everything: the way his breath feels against my lips, the sensual musky and sweet combination that makes up his scent and the way he gently mewls from the back of his throat as my tongue darts into his mouth, dancing and entwining with his tongue.

My hips meet his roughly and as if sensing what I want, he pulls me up so my legs wrap around his middle and holds me in place against the wall before I pull back from his lips for a long second, allowing him to catch his breath.

He looks to me, wide eyed and panting before watching as my eyes slowly trail toward the steps. Taking my direction, his feet move with purpose, his hands supporting my weight as they wrap around under me, cradling me close to him.

As he walks, I continue to pepper him with kisses, starting at the tip of his jawline and ending at the base of his neck where I suck gently, causing his movements to cease and knees to buckle. He grips the railing tightly with one hand, supporting me with the other and I glance up at his face to see his lips parted and eyes screwed shut.

Against the inside of my thigh, I can feel proof that he's enjoying this as much as I am.

I cease my movements, simply resting my head on his shoulder and running my fingers through the bottom of his hair until he's made it into my bedroom, where he places me gently down on the bed, landing on top of me, his hips nuzzled between my parted legs.

His lips resume their place on mine as I fight to sit up more fully, placing both hands on either side of the bottom of his shirt and lifting it up. He breaks apart without question, but his eyes are suspicious and almost fearful. He glances down at his naked top half and back to me sheepishly as I trail a finger over his freezing skin.

I pull him back onto the bed and am taken back when I notice how intently he stares at me, almost like he's studying me, like he doesn't ever want to forget this moment.

"_I've waited so long for this," _he finally signs self-consciously.

I kiss his fingertips, each one slowly and gently, my tongue darting out to nibble gently before finally pressing my lips tenderly to the back of his palm. I can hear his breath hitching with my movements and his chest heaving, but otherwise he stays quiet.

"_I love you,"_ I say and the expression he gives, the way his face floods with so many different emotions makes my heart clench so tightly it hurts.

"_I missed you," _I continue softly.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I know. Me too."_

I move in closer, wrapping an arm around his bare skin and pressing my front against his, running my nails down his spine in a way that makes goosebumps erupt over him. Hesitantly, as if unsure how to continue, his head moves in closer to mine but stops. Daringly, I close the space between us and meet his soft skin once more.

I keep my eyes open this time, not surprised when I see his watching me, and I feel a smile rise to his lips. I continue to run my fingers along his back and the lower I go, his body begins to shake until his hips involuntarily thrust toward me with a low groan.

Before I can react, his body jerks from mine immediately, wide eyed with embarrassment and panting quietly. He stares at me with a look of chagrin, his hand deftly running through the top of his damp hair. I wrap my fingers around his neck, pulling him closer to me before slithering down his back again, repeating the same movements and eliciting another deep growl involuntarily within him.

_I like this, _I silently tell him with my actions, and immediately he understands.

His fingers just barely poke underneath the damp bottom of my shirt, testing their limits as they land on the bare skin of my lower back. Without breaking away from him, my hands work their way down between his and work to help him tug the garment up and over my head.

His breath catches once more and the small noises from earlier reappear, sending spasms down through my belly button, settling between my legs. I want to hear all his noises, to make them pour from his lips over and over. I _plan _to.

With the mixture of the rainstorm and already melting sun, my room has grown significantly darker, only brightening with each flash of lightening that passes by and has made visual communication harder to complete.

This barrier doesn't go unnoticed by Peeta either, and it's as if he's read my mind as we begin letting our body and facial expressions work in tandem to do the talking for us.

Peeta continues to gape as he fully takes in my bare stomach and bra-clad chest. I can feel my heart beating rapidly inside my chest as he sits up more fully, pulling me onto his lap in a straddling position, igniting a fire between us as our skin grazes one another.

His fingers, which moments ago would timidly not venture an inch past my shirt line, now take in the naked flesh greedily, his palms sliding over the skin of my back and stomach before finally coming to rest just below my chest. His fingers bump against the underwire of my bra clumsily.

With his breathing ragged, he looks up to meet my gaze, his hands twitching lightly. I drag my hands down, moving them to cover his and slowly lead them up my back, coming to rest on top of the clasp which holds the flimsy material together. He understands my cue and attempts to unhook it in the darkness. I can feel his impatient sighs against my collarbone and huffs of annoyance as he fumbles with the thing for a long minute.

I lean my head down to rest on top of his and place a gentle kiss to the center of his sweet-smelling hair. With a smirk, I move to help him, unhooking the contraption with ease and letting it fall down my shoulders between us. His hands freeze around either side of me and slowly his eyes fall to rake down my form, taking in my breasts for the first time.

"Ugh," he groans at the sight and I feel the hardness nestled between my legs give a small jump. His noises go straight to my groin, knowing how hard he tries to keep silent but failed to at the mere image of me. His eyes shut momentarily, as if to recompose himself before he glances down again, his hands slowly slipping to the front of me to cover the exposed flesh.

They fit nicely in his hands, not quite filling his palms completely, but he doesn't seem to mind their smallness. I can't help but feel slightly self-conscious under his scrutiny though. Wondering if he's comparing me in his mind; if the image of what they are doesn't measure up with his expectations.

His hands, kneading my flesh experimentally, stops as he glances up at me with wide eyes, sensing my inner debate. His left hand comes up to rest around my neck where he rubs his thumb over my jawbone lovingly, his eyes never leaving mine.

_You're beautiful, _his expression begs me to interpret and embarrassingly I duck my head down into his neck, arching my back to allow him access to my chest once more.

His fingers toy and rub over my nipples, sending sharp gasps from my mouth before I can stop them and my hips bucking into his own reflexively. He gives off another barely audible moan, either too lost in his own motions or unaware to care, and slowly we begin grinding against one another as his thumb and forefinger continue pinching and tweaking me.

My hands entwine in his hair, pushing his head down further from where it rests, nipping and sucking on my collarbone. He understands immediately and slowly drifts down until his lips rest around my left tit, his tongue darting out to flick over the tip of it.

I cry out impossibly loud, my head tilting back and eyes falling closed as he swirls his tongue and gently begins to suck. My hands clench around his back, unable to grasp him tightly enough as my body spasms and rocks in pleasure.

He bites down, just barely and my lulled head darts forward, eyes popping open. Immediately his lips unwrap from their spot on me, and he eyes me cautiously, smiling as I practically push him back down to do it _again and again and again..._

The tingling in my body continues to build, making my rocking hips insatiable and Peeta's teasing ministrations unbearable until I'm finally pulling him from me, pushing him down to lie flat on his back and moving off the top of him, shimmying out of my pants.

We both know this is where we were headed, so Peeta doesn't look to me surprised or try to make sure this is what I want. Instead, he makes quick work of his own pants, until they're pooling at the bottom of his ankles and he nervously tries kicking them off.

I giggle to myself, trailing my hands down his exposed legs, just lightly enough to cause the muscles underneath his skin to twitch before helping his feet escaped the entrapment of his jeans.

I glance back up at him and watch as his Adam's apple quivers. He's leaning on his elbows, eyes nervously darting from my face to his boxers, which are undeniably tented. I smile, twirling a fingernail along his ankle for a long second before slithering back up the side of his body, only underwear covering my form.

My fingers twist again in the small patch of hair that begins underneath his belly button and continues along to the inside of his boxers. I'd be lying if I said I'd never been curious as to what Peeta looked like underneath his clothing, especially those nights I was able to only _feel_ him.

But now, with his chest heaving rapidly, his eyes already beginning to lull closed, it's practically mine for the taking. I don't look back up at his face, but rather watch as my hand slithers down to lightly cup him through his underwear. His body seizes and all at once I can feel every muscle in his body, hard with effort it takes for him to control himself.

My hand slowly begins to move, rubbing over the warm bulge and I'm rewarded with a soft, but deep guttural moan.

I fearlessly slide my fingers under the waistband, willing them to slide down further until they're balled up at his knees. His member lies flat against his belly, pulsing just slightly with his ragged heartbeat and I can feel it begin to swell impossibly more as my hand wraps around it.

"Arghh," he grits out, head falling back and eyes becoming lidded as my tight hand passes over the tip of him. I can feel his body shaking and watch as his balls grow closer to his body, tightening and releasing with each passing stroke.

Having no previous experience, I allow his noises to lead me, and stop as his breathing grows into gasping and his spasming hands suddenly clasp over mine. I watch his face, twisted up in almost a pained expression before he lets out the breath he's been holding and motions for me to come up further. My hand untwines from its grip around him and I move until my head is aligned with his, kissing the edge of his lips.

"_Katniss," _he signs, breathing hard against my cheek. _"I... I didn't bring any..."_

"_I'm on the pill," _I remind him gently, and then run a hand through his hair once more with a wink.

He lets out a relieved breath of air and moves his left arm that's wrapped around me rests on the curve of my ass, playfully poking underneath before I move to rid myself the last article of clothing between the two of us.

The room is pitch black now, and I can only make out Peeta's expression when it's a couple inches from my own, thanks to the dim lights that guide him through the night.

Wordlessly, we slip underneath my covers, our heated bodies bumping into one another in our haste, which only causes Peeta to release a quiet chuckle as we smile toward one another.

I don't protest as he slips on top of me and between our bodies so closely wound together, I can feel his heart beating rapidly against mine. His hand glides down to run through my messily unbraiding hair and he pushes my bangs out of my eyes before glancing down between our bodies.

He lifts his hips up enough to reach down and grasp himself, guiding the tip clumsily to my entrance. I can see his eyebrows knitting together as his hand fights to find the correct placement shakily, willing our bodies to finally meet correctly. His eyes grow wide at the feeling and I give a small squeak as he holds perfectly still, his arm supporting his body weight looking like it might give out any second.

I rub his tense muscles, giving a short and quick nod and slowly he moves down further into me. It's a tight fit, one that doesn't particularly hurt or feel good, but has me indifferent. I grit my teeth as he moves particularly roughly and lets out a low and elongated moan.

My hand grips his arm tighter as he slowly begins to thrust into me, his muscles contracting with each glide and his mouth growing slack. His free arm, the one that guided him into me in the first place, snakes down once more and timidly moves through the center of my folds until one of his fingers hits my clit, making me gasp out in shock at the sensitivity.

He rubs it a few more times before his body collapses on top of me, his hips picking up in pace as he lets out a loud cry into the pillow. With his neck now fully exposed to me, I take the opportunity to wrap my lips around the base of it and hum purposely against it.

His body tightens for a long second before I feel an eruption of spasms inside of me.

"Ugh...Uhhhh!" he groans, both his hands gripping at the bedding below him as he slowly begins to come down from his high. We lay unmoving, with his shaking body on top of mine until our breathing slows and our heartbeats steady.

Eventually though, his body weight becomes too much on mine and he rolls off, casually bringing me into his arms. Our movements are languid as a wave of calmness and serenity passes over us, one earlier today I never thought I'd experience again.

Peeta's fingertips dance along my lower back, tracing the shape of a heart over my skin slowly and peacefully until we give in and drift off to sleep, wrapped up within one another.

* * *

Thank you so, so much for reading guys! I'm sorry I didn't have time this week to individually respond to reviews (it has been quite busy in my RL lately) but just know every single review, every add to your alerts or favorites is extremely appreciated!

Have a great superbowl!

If you'd like to follow me, I'm on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) and twitter (passtheheroin) thanks!


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

A big thanks to fnur and misshoneywell for their help with this chapter.

* * *

Chapter Seventeen: In Which There Are Blue Skies

Peeta Mellark

* * *

_September 2003_

There's only ten minutes of class left when Ms. Coin informs me that Mrs. White has announced we can have free time until it's time to walk down to the bus.

I don't feel like pulling out my crayons and paper for such a short amount of time, so instead I lift my desk and begin pulling all the loose papers out to organize into folders.

To my surprise, the top of my desk begins to fall closed, sending me flying back and making the girl above me smirk. It's Katniss, my new... friend? I guess. Her braid falls over her shoulder and swings in the air as she stands hovering over me, pointing down into my desk for the notebook.

I pull it loose and she opens it up before clicking her pen and writing slowly and neatly. We worked on our handwriting earlier and I have a feeling she's taking this opportunity to practice.

_Tomorrow, we'll sit together at lunch, _she informs me with a small nod.

_I don't sit where you sit. _The main reason being before this moment, I never had a place where I could sit, or a way to ask even. I sit in the classroom with Mrs. White and Ms. Coin. She lets me play on the chalkboards or with any of the toys I typically don't use when the class is full of others.

_Well then can I sit where you sit? _

Ms. White is standing by the door, speaking in a way that draws everyone's attention to her before Katniss motions dramatically to her book bag. I go to close the notebook when her hand slams down on top of it and she points harder to the question.

_Yes. _I answer quickly. I'll have to ask Ms. Coin, but I don't see any harm in it. It might be fun to have someone to play with for the half an hour. Maybe she knows how to play tic-tac-toe.

That's my favorite game, because I always win.

_Can you play tic-tac toe? _I ask and she nods vigorously, grinning widely before Ms. White motions for us to join the kids who stand at their cubbies, grabbing all their supplies for the bus.

_I think we'll be friends for a long, long time, _Katniss informs me before tucking the notebook closed and forcing it into my arms. I stare at her, wide-eyed while she waltzes off to collect her things, waving dramatically for me to get in line with her.

I turn up to Ms. Coin, who nods in approval once before I skip off to meet her.

As we walk, our fingers brush and Katniss takes my hand in her own. When I glance down at the entwined fingers, then back up at her she only offers me a small smile.

She doesn't try talking to me, or taunting me like other kids have, just offers the kind smile before turning to the front again and squeezing my hand in her own.

When we get to the bus stop, her hand drops from mine and she waves goodbye pleasantly, which I return, watching as she skips off into the arms of a man who looks a lot like her. She points back to me, and his gaze follows before he offers me a kind smile that makes me blush shyly.

"_Hey," _Rye greets with a smile, patting my back as Bannock follows closely behind him. I always wait at the light pole for them and they walk me to the bus. Sometimes I get confused with all the numbers and how all the buses look the same, so they make sure I get on the right one.

"_How was your day?" _Bannock asks as we squish into the same seat as always.

I think about his question. Typically, I respond the same way each time. _Good. _It's generic, but it keeps him from asking more questions which would lead him to realizing it actually wasn't all that good.

But today, it was.

"_Great," _I grin. This answer piques my brother's interest, and they both turn to me with raised eyebrows.

"_I think I made a friend."_

"_What's his name?" _Bannock asks.

"_It's a girl. K-A-T... I don't remember the rest."_

"_It's a _girl?!" Rye signs, his nose scrunching up in disgust. _"Peeta, girls are gross."_

"_She's not. She's nice, and pretty and has a braid." _

"_That's what she wants you to think. But underneath it all, she's gross. You'll see."_

"_Well, she's my friend," _I retort, folding my arms and Bannock smiles, patting my head.

"_She sounds great, Peeta."_

She is great. Rye will see.

Because we're gonna be friends for a long, long time.

* * *

_February 2013_

When I wake up, I'm sure it's a prolonged dream. I lie entangled underneath the blankets with Katniss, her fingers gliding along the bare skin of my back. She glances up at me when my eyes finally flutter open and offers a timid smile.

The way the rising sun hits her face through the curtains and dances along her chestnut hair makes it appear as if she's glistening, and my breath catches as I take in the exposed pale bronze of her collarbone.

"_Hi," _she waves with a small yawn.

"_Hi," _I grin back in her direction before moving my entrapped arm out from underneath her. _"You'll have to excuse me, I'm still trying to figure out if this is a dream or not."_

Her hand snakes over my forearm, running the tips of her fingers along my skin before I feel the sharp sting of a good pinch. I jump back and she smiles uncontrollably.

"_You're awake."_

"_Thanks."_

All the tension and anger and hurt have melted away between yesterday and now, replaced by the easy and simple friendship we had cultivated beforehand. It's as if a large and heavy boulder has been fork-lifted off of my back and I can stretch out again and stand tall.

I lay back down on my back, staring up to her ceiling with a heavy sigh.

"_Was last night even real?"_

"_Yes, it was real," _she confirms with a nod, holding the blanket tightly over her chest with one arm, almost self-consciously. I smirk wickedly, turning back to my side and supporting my weight with my left elbow.

"_I'm not so sure. I think I'll have to double check."_

I lift the comforter up, exposing our naked bodies and Katniss reflexively curls her knees in. I can't help but let my eyes linger on her bare skin with awe. Last night in the darkness had been about using our sense of feeling.

But now that I could _see_ the swell of her breasts I sucked on and the apex between her legs that was rocking into me last night...

I shiver uncontrollably as she scoots in closely to my body, burying her head into my shoulder embarrassedly as I feel her shake with laughter. I glance down at her, dropping the covers with a smile alongside her.

I missed her so much.

She continues to laugh and rests her head on top of my chest as I fall back onto the mattress once more.

With the image of her laughing fresh in my mind, I begin wondering what she sounds like again. _She must be amazing, _I think, recalling the way the man in that restaurant stopped just to tell her so. Or how she grows so embarrassed whenever anyone mentions it. I bet her laughter is just as rhythmic and beautiful.

If I could hear one sound, just for a few seconds, it'd be that, I think.

"_What are you thinking about?" _she turns up to ask, distracting me by the way the covers fall down as she sits up more fully, tracing her finger tip along my lips.

"_Your voice," _I answer truthfully. _"I wish I could hear it."_

She smiles ruefully, _"I've shown you a million times, silly. Or have you forgotten?"_

"_No," _I say, shaking my head. _"I mean like, really hear it. You know?"_

Without warning, Katniss extends a leg over the top of me so we're in a straddling position again. I inhale sharply at the feeling of her on top of me as she slides further up my body until her breath is against my lips.

My eyes lull closed as her lips begin trailing kisses down the side of my cheek to the hollow of my throat. I can feel my heart beating rapidly inside my chest, and the way her body languidly moves against me with her kisses has the same type of stirring building up in the pit of my stomach.

My mouth opens in a small 'o' unconsciously as she licks at one of the prominent veins on the base of my neck gingerly before humming, causing my body to spasm lightly. My hands move smoothly down her body to rest on her hips as mine instinctively buck forward.

She breaks away, sitting up straighter on top of me, and willing for me to the same. Using my arms for support, I push myself up into a more leaning position, with my back against the pillows that lay against the backboard of the bed.

"_Did you like that?" _she questions, a red tint covering over her skin. I'm mesmerized by the way her blush carries down along her collarbone and even to the tops of her breasts.

I'm sure she can feel me throbbing against her by now.

"_Very much so," _I get out with shaking hands.

"_Do you know what I said?" _she questions and I can only shake my head.

"_I said P-E-E-T-A."_

My eyes widen with realization, stinging red as I'm sure I let out a small gasp at the thought of my name on her lips, humming... _moaning._

She smiles winningly, moving down closer to me and running her lips over the center of my chest, immediately causing my head to fall back and my hands to begin fisting the blankets below me.

My eyes shut momentarily as her tongue drags down, moving over to flick my nipple casually, which I'm sure has me grunting as I gasp with pleasure, my hips lifting with her movements. I can feel her grinning around the small nub as she takes it more delicately in her mouth and begins flicking over the hardened flesh.

My hands snake up to wrap around her, silently indicating with the tightening of my palms that I'm enjoying her tiny movements.

Her hands run over my eyelids and I silently curse myself for allowing them to fall closed again. I want to memorize all her motions, remember them forever. As they glide open she's smiling up at me, her chin digging into the center of my chest.

"_Peeta," _she signs, a playful expression on her face.

"_Yes?"_

"_Can you hear me here?" _she questions before planting her hands firmly down, dragging her lips over my skin again before humming lowly.

My body tenses as her movements grow lower to where my belly button is, and she hums carefully against the area as well. When she glances back up at me, eyes locked with my own, I nod furiously and her lips pull up gently.

"_Here?" _she signs, licking the short trail of skin underneath my belly before eliciting the same feeling through me as before. This time I can't help it and feel myself give off a small hiss, embarrassment be damned.

Her body continues to snake down my naked one until she's practically disappeared below the covers, her soft, long hair tickling my flesh the further she goes until she rests directly between my legs, extremely close to my protruding flesh.

She rakes her fingers over my inner thighs before gently resting her lips against my left one, encircling her tongue slowly and deliberately before slightly nipping at the skin and letting off a short, but visible moan.

My entire body arches, and this time I can't help when my eyes roll to the back of my head and my dick gives an involuntary twitch. Before I can force myself to look back down, her hand has encased my boiling skin and possibly more blood rushes south.

I bend my elbows, leaning my weight on them to gain a better image of her hand as it slowly moves up and down my sensitive flesh. I feel my jaw grow slack and mouth open widely as her head moves closer and closer before she finally gives the tip a short but firm lick.

It feels _so fucking good._

She taps the flesh at my hipbone once and my eyes dart to meet hers and her rosy cheeks.

"_Try to hear my voice here," _she signs before her hands run back down my thighs and her lips plant themselves along the underside of my rigid cock. She groans, low and long and it feels as if my entire body is on fire as rockets of sensation darts through my body, from the tips of my toes all the way up to my ears, which sting with the redness I'm sure has encased my entire form.

I wish I could communicate to tell her how good it is, how grateful I am she would even attempt doing this, how-

_Oh, fuck._

She swirls her tongue over the swollen ridge of my tip before allowing her lips to pass a little further down, her hand covering the flesh they can't reach. Her eyes are locked with mine, watching my face for any sign of what she should do and I silently plead for her to just keep doing _that._

I'm gonna cum.

The feelings are becoming too much, the way her breasts feel against my tightening balls, her hand pumping me in time with her warm, slick mouth, the feel of her other one running up and down my thigh gently. I feel my body tightening, a sure sign of pending orgasm and my eyes fly open further, not knowing how to warn her I'm about to explode.

My hips squirm, hoping maybe she'll understand and let go, but it only makes her plant her hand more firmly on my hip bone and suck with more vigor. I can feel it in my throat, the non-stop string of groans and moans coming up before finally I grip both her shoulders with my hands and squeeze tightly.

Her eyes never leave mine as the feeling of pure ecstasy washes over me.

My hips continue to thrust lazily for a moment as I begin coming down from my high and Katniss rubs my skin lightly, only breaking our stare to blink occasionally. Her lips are twisted up into a wicked smirk when I finally drop my head back against the pillow, allowing all my tightly wound muscles to relax.

She curls up on the bed beside me, her face directed toward me as she smiles pleasantly, apparently very pleased with herself.

"_Now will you knock it off about my voice?" _she questions sarcastically.

"_I think I've heard it well enough," _I manage to sign with shaking fingers before sitting up more fully and running my hand along the smooth skin of her calf.

"_Your turn."_

Her eyes grow wide as she clenches her legs together more fully, her elbows immediately digging into the mattress to help support her upper half.

"_What do you mean? No, Peeta."_

"_Why not?" _I ask, scooting down further onto the bed as anticipation begins building. _"Don't you want to hear my voice?"_

"_Oh believe me, I heard it just now... loudly," _she grins, causing a heat to surge along my face, but I shake away the immediate feelings of embarrassment because right now I'm supposed to be _confident. _

"_Then wouldn't you like to feel it?"_

It's her turn to blush as her throat bobs with a heavy breath, lips parting just slightly as my hands run up her thighs, rubbing and kneading her until her legs slowly begin opening up to me.

My eyes meet hers, and I offer a timid smile as she slowly drops her knees down to the bed, parting them on either side of my body as I carefully lie down between her. I can already see a slight dampness that coats her inner thighs close to her center, causing her skin to glisten as the light hits it just right.

She notices my staring and tries bending her knees up again but I gently place my hands on either side of her, running my thumb along her flesh in a silent plea to _let me do this. _

_Let me do this for you, _my eyes beg. _Just let me try. _

She bites her lip nervously, red still tinting her cheeks before giving the smallest nod of her head in approval and it's all it takes for me to dip my head down and begin planting firm, but gentle kisses along her thighs.

I'm not exactly sure what the hell I'm doing so I rely on instinct, Katniss's reaction and the small bit of information Rye has over shared in past years. Her muscles quiver as my lips drag along her skin, poking my tongue out experimentally like she had with me and watching with delight as her hands fist the material of the blanket around her.

She bites down on her lip impossibly harder as her eyes grow wide just before they clamp shut as I kiss the patch of skin right above her folds. It's laced with neatly trimmed chestnut hairs that tickle my chin. I can see small goosebumps break out along her hip bones as my hands run up the flat surface of her belly before moving back down between her legs and deftly sliding my fingers inside her soaking skin.

_Oh god._

It's warm, _so fucking warm _and almost gooey as I press a single finger inside of her. She clenches involuntarily and I can feel her hips rise off the mattress as I breathe in her intoxicating scent. After a few seconds of her bucking against my finger, daringly I dip another in to join, watching as her eyes roll to the back of her head, mouth widely spread apart.

_Fuck, she looks stunning. _There's a small bead of perspiration falling down her red forehead and her knuckles are white, they clench so tightly above me. I watch as her eyebrows wrinkle and relax as I hit a particularly sensitive area and grow impatient, wanting to explore more of her.

I don't know much about female anatomy, but Rye had taught me one little rhyme, much to Bannock's embarrassment: _clit and tit._

"_If you remember nothing else, remember that," _he grinned, very much proud of himself. _"Those are the keys to the golden city."_

So when I find the small nub, barely peaking out between her slick skin, I don't hesitate to press my tongue gently against it.

And I'm greatly rewarded.

Katniss's hands immediately crash onto my head, pulling the hair on my scalp roughly and guiding my head back over her skin in the same motion. I flick my tongue out once more, giving her clit one swift swipe and watching as she writhers and shakes above me.

My fingers continue to pump in time with my cautious licks before I pucker my lips around her and hum gently, just like she had for me. Her knees bend up from their position on the bed, causing her heels to dig into the mattress roughly and her toes to curl.

I can't help but think I've never seen anything more stunning in my life. Her hips begin thrusting rhythmically, the tempo building as I try matching the pace with my fingers and tongue until her entire body stiffens and her hands clench tightly in my hair.

Her eyes clamped shut, head tilted back onto the pillow as her back rises into a perfect arc above me and her lips open into a perfect 'O', her stomach tightening...

And all at once she relaxes.

I continue to lick up and down her skin, like she had mine, enjoying the sweet and slightly tangy taste of her before she pulls on my hair, motioning for me to come back up toward her. I lift my head with a smile and she forces one back though it appears dazed and almost tired before I land on my back beside her.

"_I think I like feeling your voice," _she signs without making eye contact with me, causing a vibration to rise in my throat which catches her attention.

"_I think I liked it too," _I say honestly back to her, pushing back the loose hair that's fallen into her sweaty face as she sighs deeply.

"_What do you want to do today?" _I ask her. It's a Tuesday, and technically I'm supposed to be in class, but with all the excitement and emotions from the past twelve hours, I'm not too upset Katniss hasn't woken me.

Or to spend my morning like this, instead.

"_Well, I'm pretty sure I'm expelled from school," _she smirks, sitting up more fully on the mattress before stretching. _"Or at least suspended for sure. So, I'm open."_

"_Maybe we should go see Finnick." _I frown, forcing myself to meet her gaze although it's humiliating. She looks surprised by my line of thinking and furrows her eyebrows before shrugging.

"_Not a bad idea."_

"_I'm sorry about that night. I never really apologized," _I say, sitting up more seriously. My entire reasoning for initially coming over yesterday _was_ to tell her all these things, but then we started kissing and it was all I had ever wanted...

I just couldn't force myself to stop. Not when she was finally _willing._

"_I was such an ass. I just... I saw you guys signing through your window and then... the next night it seemed like things might be alright between us... and he was all fucking over you..."_

"_I wish you had just told me," _she frowns, shaking her head. _"I would have explained everything to you. You just... bailed and then your fists were flying. I didn't know what the hell was going on with you."_

It keeps all my focus from turning down to look at my hands, crumpled in the blankets dejectedly.

"_I hope you know I didn't mean those things I said that night. Of course as soon as I said them I regretted them. That's why I came over in the first place, to make things right, but then... well, you know."_

"_I know," _I sigh. _"I swear it was all her. It meant nothing to me, you know?"_

"_I know."_

"_I'm sorry," _I apologize again.

"_Well, you owe Finnick more of an apology than you do me," _she begins, standing up and pulling my t-shirt over her form before turning back with a wicked smirk.

"_But, would you like to know a secret?"_

I nod.

"_I thought the way you pushed him against the wall... that was pretty hot," _she blushes. _"Maybe sometime, you can push me against the wall..." _

I feel the vibrations of a groan rise in my throat, making Katniss's lips twitch to a smile.

"_Don't tease me," _I sign and she shakes her head immediately, falling down into my lap once more.

"_Oh, I'm not," _she assures me before placing a swift kiss on the top of my nose, then the valley of skin between my nose and lips and finally, my lips.

I run a hand over her cheek to keep her there, becoming intoxicated with her, wanting _more more more _and to never let go.

I'm quickly becoming greedy for Katniss.

"_Can I ask you one question?" _she says, after pushing back on my chest to break us apart. I stare at her for a long moment before nodding dumbly. She could honestly ask me anything she wants to right about now.

"_Why yesterday?" _

"_Well, on Sunday, Annie helped set me straight to the error of my ways, and I knew the protest was yesterday, so I was sitting at home thinking about how badly I had fucked up," _I begin and note the sheepish look Katniss wears before continuing. _"When I saw you on the news station, I almost thought I was dreaming, or delirious; I'd been seeing your face everywhere if I'm being honest. I just knew how scared you are of that kind of stuff. I couldn't believe my eyes." _

She nods gently.

"_Then Delly texted me," _I chuckle. _"Apparently, she'd seen the news too, because she messaged me all confused. I guess she didn't realize how much you actually cared about me."_

"_You didn't either, I think," _she replies, biting her lip and I downcast my gaze. Her hands find my cheeks and lift them up to meet her eyes, which are gentle.

"_We both made mistakes, Peeta," _she says. _"Our relationship isn't perfect. There are things we need to work on."_

"_Like communicating," _I smirk and watch the corners of her mouth turn up into a lazy smile.

"_Especially that. I guess because we've never had any major conflict, I never realized how bad we were at it." _

"_We suck," _I add with a nod. _"But, I really jumped to conclusions. I shut you out and that wasn't right. I was an asshole-"_

Katniss grabs my hands in her own and brings them to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss to them.

"_You _were_ an asshole," _she agrees, smirking playfully in my direction. _"I'm glad Delly had whatever epiphany she needed last night, but she's not the one I was looking to make up with. She's not why I stood in front of the camera, Peeta."_

"_I know," _I say, a twist of guilt knotting in my stomach at the thought of everything that happened this weekend.

I turn down to Katniss, who stares up at me with wide eyes, full of emotion as her small fingers clench tighter in the blankets on top of us.

"_I still can't believe you did that for me," _I shake my head, stunned.

She takes my hand that still rests in hers and kisses the back of it, right on the large pulsing vein.

"_I'd do anything for you."_

I swallow heavily, forcing a smile to my lips before running my lips over her forehead. I could kiss her a million times if she'd let me.

"_Pain in the ass," _she quotes with a smirk. _"But worth it."_

* * *

After a lazy morning at Katniss's, we decide it's time to get cleaned up and make good on my promise to patch things up with Finnick. By the time we're in the car, cruising down the street I can feel a familiar sweat building on my palms and swallow heavily.

"_Maybe I'll just send him a text message," _I say as Katniss throws the car into park outside of his house. His car is sitting in the lot, so there's no chance of getting out of this unless I can somehow convince Katniss of how awful this might be.

"_Calm down, would you?" _she says, before pushing the door open. _"Finnick has been wanting to talk to you all weekend. He'll be happy to see you." _

He is.

The door swings open, and once the look of confusion melts from his face, it's replaced with one of wonderment and excitement at seeing us _together_ at his doorstep. Immediately he moves out of the way to let us inside, and watches with a broad smile as we kick off our shoes. The long and swollen bruise along his eye doesn't go unnoticed, and I wince to myself at the sight of it.

Katniss catches this and laces her hand with mine, squeezing it tight _which doesn't go unnoticed _by Finnick whose impossibly wide grin grows wider.

He points to Katniss with wide eyes, lips moving and then to me, then back to her. We nod in unison and he claps his hands together slowly.

His lips move again and then Katniss untwines her hand from mine.

"_Fucking finally," _she signs to him and then he copies it in my direction.

"_Fucking finally!" _

I laugh at his excitement.

"_Show me some of your sign language," _I ask and he hardly needs Katniss to translate before his hands rise up and he begins signing.

"_Hello, how are you today? A-N-N-I-E, will you come on a date with me? You have beautiful eyes. My name is F-I-N-N-I-C-K."_

I smile appreciatively before nodding my head in satisfaction.

"_You sound good."_

"_He had a good teacher," _Katniss chimes in, winking in my direction, which has me remembering why we're here in the first place. I look to her nervously and she nods in Finnick's direction, willing for me to continue.

"_I'm really sorry about what happened this weekend. It was all a big misunderstanding, as Annie explained and I feel really bad about the whole thing. I should have just asked first, but I was so angry and I handled it the wrong way."_

Katniss's lips stop moving, and Finnick looks to me sheepishly before nodding his head and moving his lips, eyes focused on me but words clearly intended for her.

"_It's okay," _she signs to him and momentarily he repeats the movements with a steady look of ease lacing his features.

"_It's okay, P-E-E-T-A."_

"_Thank you."_

"_Anytime, Bro," _he smirks, pleasantly surprised with himself for being able to carry on a conversation. I have to say I'm rather surprised myself. From the small amount I know about Finnick, based on what I've seen and what Katniss has told me, he doesn't have an attention span for much, so the fact that he's been so driven to learn this is really commendable.

"_He wants to know if you would mind teaching him a couple things sometime," _Katniss informs me. _"Obviously with me as a mediator, but he'd love to pick up some pointers from you."_

"_I don't think I'd mind that," _I say with an easy smile.

With all the wounded friendships mending, it's as if the air is easier to breathe with the tense atmosphere cleared. I sigh heavily with relief as Katniss and I wave goodbye to Finnick, heading out the door.

"_Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" _she questions with raised eyebrows and I shake my head vigorously.

Finnick is a good guy. Of course I always knew that, which is half the reason I was ultimately freaked out when I first suspected something happening between him and Katniss.

But now that I know his interest has always been for _Annie, _things are different. He's a perfect match for her - loud for her quietness, laughter for her jokes. They'll do well together, and judging by the way she was so impressed by him the other night, things will turn out fine.

Plus, it won't be so bad to have some more friends to communicate with easier.

* * *

"_Oh my god, tell me it's true."_

Since basically everyone we care about is suspended from school right now, after Finnick's house we decide to stop by my place and visit my brothers, since Katniss thinks we should assure them everything between us is "all right again."

Apparently, Rye was pretty worried the two of us would never work things out. His first indicator that things were "all right again" should have been when I ran out the door last night into the pouring rain with no explanation, and had yet to return come two o'clock the next afternoon.

I hadn't even bothered to wait for them to move their cars that blocked mine in, I just took off down the road and cut the muddy path connecting my street to Katniss's. No wonder her expression was crazed when she caught sight of me on the other side of the door...

"_Tell you what is true?" _I ask, finally catching his attention. He's been smacking the table, mouth opened into a wide 'O' as he stared between Katniss and I periodically.

"_Oh my god! You two fucked!" _

"_Shut the hell up," _I say, groaning internally as his mouth begins moving rapidly, causing Katniss's cheeks to blush. I push his shoulder with my hand roughly, but he hardly budges and only laughs harder.

"_I can't believe it! Bring it in, baby brother. I am so proud of you!"_

"_Knock it off," _I finally get out after he's successfully entrapped me into one of his bear-like hugs.

"_You know, I was thinking about this the other night."_

"_He was thinking about us fucking the other night?" _Katniss signs, eyebrow raised in a way that makes me snort and Rye roll his eyes.

"_No. I mean, I was thinking that maybe that was the issue. You two were a bunch of sexually frustrated, pent-up virgins. All you needed was a little lovin' and now look at you guys!"_

His one hand lands on my shoulder, the other on Katniss's and slowly he pushes us closer together until we're practically squished. Katniss rolls her eyes before tenderly placing a chaste kiss on my cheek and patting Rye on top of the head.

"_When's the wedding?" _he questions as she crosses the kitchen to grab an orange, peeling back the thick skin with her fingernails. She stands over the trashcan with raised eyebrows before winking toward me, making the blush deepen on my cheeks.

"_Why? Want to be my bridesmaid, Rye?" _Katniss signs the joke so I can be involved. I snort, taking in their care-free laughter as well before Rye responds.

"_I thought you'd never fucking-"_

He cuts off as both their heads whip in the direction of the door, visible through the archway of the kitchen. Rye's eyebrows furrow before he shrugs and moves to answer it. I notice Katniss's eyes peer out the window, which gives a broad overview of the front yard, but if she see's anything interesting she doesn't say, but continues to peel back her orange.

Rye enters a moment later, eyes wide and behind him comes Delly. I stiffen at her presence, almost willing her to go away because we _just _fixed things. She'll only end up ruining it all over again.

What is it with Rye letting everyone inside the house?

"_Hi Delly," _I greet, and note the way Katniss has stopped peeling her orange, eyeing the girl in front of me very carefully before taking a couple steps closer. Rye leans against the oven and folds his arms over his chest to be intimidating, apparently not planning to give us any sort of privacy.

"_Hey," _her typically bubbly personality is subdued today and after she gives her terse wave, she glances down at the checkered tiles on the ground. _"I was around and thought I'd stop by to see if you were home."_

"_Oh."_

"_I never heard back from you yesterday, after I sent you that message," _she begins, stopping to push a curl behind her earlobe.

"_I was... busy," _I respond lamely, casting a look at Katniss who smirks knowingly. _"Sorry."_

"_It's all right... I just... I was actually hoping she might be here too."_

With her words, it's the first time she's met Katniss's gaze since arriving and tries a gentle smile, which causes Katniss to grit her teeth, gripping my arm tighter. I don't blame her uneasiness; even I'm not exactly sure what her angle is.

"_You know, you're a really hard person to read," _she begins, speaking directly to Katniss now, whose eyes widen at her abrasive words. _"And when I first met you, I just felt like... your motives. They seemed selfish."_

We're silent as she talks, explaining her side of the story before sighing deeply.

"_So when I saw you on the news, rallying your friends and saying all those things. I thought to myself, "how is this benefiting her?" and besides the obvious, getting Peeta back, I couldn't really find another." _Delly signs in one breath, continuing on before she can be stopped.

"_The things you were saying, about equal opportunities and all that... you really meant it, didn't you?"_

"_I don't say things I don't mean," _Katniss responds coolly, making even Delly smirk with a short nod of approval.

"_Well, then I guess I owe you an apology. For misjudging you."_

She sticks her hand out firmly in front of Katniss and I suck in a breath, watching the two girls eye one another carefully. Katniss's controlled expression lifts into a careful smile before she uncrosses her arms and reaches out to Delly with a shrug. Their hands grip one another tightly and give one firm shake before departing.

"_Thanks..." _Katniss concludes, almost like she wants to add more, but can't think of something else to say. Delly nods once more before mentioning she has to get going, and she really just came to offer her apologies.

"_I'll walk you to the door," _I suggest, assuming Katniss will follow and turning with surprise as she stays put, motioning for me to go with the flick of her wrist.

"_That was nice what you did," _I mention when it's just Delly and I standing at the door. She doesn't meet my eyes and her stare drops down once she's finished watching my hand gestures as she gives a small shrug.

"_You know me, full of niceness."_

She giggles at the smirk that rises to my lips.

"_Will you be in class tomorrow?" _she asks before twisting the doorknob, one foot out the door.

I nod quickly and offer her a smile.

"_See you then, I suppose."_

"_Bye, Delly," _I wave, watching to make sure she makes it to her car alright before shutting the door tightly behind me.

The conversation happening between Rye and Katniss ceases immediately upon my re-entering the kitchen. For a long second, we're casted into a mutual silence before Rye's shoulders rise and fall dramatically.

"_She's still a bitch."_

* * *

"_So, how many people showed up at the school yesterday?" _I question Katniss as we lay in my bed next to one another, staring up at the ceiling. Her neck cranes to study my face for a long second before smirking.

"_A lot. Over fifty, I think, stayed even after Snow threatened to have us expelled."_

I snort.

"_That's crazy."_

"_They love you."_

"_Well, they love the cause. And you," _I correct her. Even if they were doing it in order to help me out, they only really know me _through _Katniss. We're well known for our odd friendship around school and the town, but I've never communicated with these people.

She nudges me after the comment and sticks her tongue out, shaking her head.

"_They were happy to help in any way if it meant getting _you_ back."_

"_Do you know when you'll find out if it even worked?" _I ask and she shrugs her shoulders.

"_We're going to present it to the school board tomorrow morning. Sometime after that. I can't imagine it'd take... long. I'm not an expert though."_

I nod slowly and watch as her chest rises and falls, her cheeks puffing out as she holds in air before she lets it out heavily.

"_I was thinking... if you want to stay at the other school right now... no matter what happens with the protest, I understand," _she begins signing, not exactly meeting my eyes but staring at the patch of wall behind it as we move into a sitting position.

"_I know it's better for you there. Less frustrating and more rewarding... and your new friends are there."_

I watch as she continues to sign out her long response, barely breaking in between words in order to get it all out before finally moving my hands to cover hers, smiling down at her affectionately.

"_You must know by now I want to be with you."_

"_Of course. I was just... letting you know."_

"_I don't care about easy," _I promise her. _"You're right, going to this alternative school has been good for me. It has been a good experience and I've gained a lot of confidence after visiting it, but... it's not where I want to be."_

Her lips part just slightly as I connect mine to them and her hands land on my thighs, steadying herself before we break apart.

"_I just want to be with you."_

* * *

So, this was the last chapter guys! I plan to post the epilogue later on this week and with that will be some more information in regards to the sequel. I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing and sharing it with you all. The response has been overwhelming, so I'd just like to thank you all again for the kind words of encouragement and adds to your favorites and alerts. That means the world to me, really.

If you'd like to chat, you can find me on tumblr (ivegotthesclaf) or twitter (passtheheroin). Thanks!


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: The Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins.**

Seriously a huge-ass thank you to fnur for her amazing beta assistance and to misshoneywell for helping me plot and pre-read this story. You both have been so wonderful, a million thanks.

* * *

Epilogue: In Which it Has All Just Begun

Katniss Everdeen

* * *

_September 2013 _

It's three weeks into the school year and just a few days off from October when I'm sitting in English and my phone vibrates against my pocket.

I glance around the quiet room at the bored and zoned out faces of my peers and at the teacher with his back to me, scribbling madly on the board ahead.

To my right, Peeta eyes me carefully with a slight smirk, glancing down at the bulge of my phone in my jeans.

I pull it out carefully and sure enough, the message is from him, asking how much time we have left until lunch.

_You have eyes. Look at the clock. _I respond back to him with a smirk.

He reads the message, suppressing a snort before rolling his eyes in my direction. Although he hasn't said it officially, I can tell he's glad to be back at Panem.

It took Principal Snow only two days after the protest aired on television to make a rebuttal statement, explaining how he never meant for things to go as far as they did, and of course Peeta and anyone who wished to join him would be welcomed back into the school with open arms.

With a few requirements, of course.

I glance back at Ms. Coin, who sits silently toward the back of the room, grading papers. She follows Peeta to all his classes now, just in case something happens where she's needed, but for the most part stays out of the way. I'm not surprised Snow enforced the aide rule, and in our minds it was a small price to pay if it meant having Peeta back.

He stuck out the rest of junior year at his alternative school in Capitol and this September as senior year started, him and Annie Cresta both transferred to Panem.

The bell rings just moment after Peeta receives my message, and I watch relief flood his face as he sees the other students rise from their seats and rush for the door.

"_I'm starving!" _he exclaims as I watch him hurry to pack up his things with a smirk.

Ms. Coin throws her purse over her shoulder and grabs the folder that sits in front of her on the desk before the clicks of her heels grow closer to us and she informs Peeta she'll see him after lunch time.

He gives a quick nod and smile before blowing a large breath as we watch her exit the room, trailing along behind her.

My phone vibrates in my pocket once more and I glance down to see the message flashing from Annie.

_Lunch outside today! _it reads, ending with a sideways smiling face. In the couple of seconds it takes for me to respond to her message, Peeta is already several paces ahead of me, eager to get into the lunch line.

I roll my eyes at him as he glances back at me sheepishly, several kids in between us. Todays lunch is nothing special, so I opt for a simple salad and grab a chocolate chip cookie by the register, surprised as I make my way back into the lunchroom to see Peeta has actually stopped to wait for me.

Then I realize he's confused because our typical table is free from people. He shoots me a look with a raised eyebrow and I motion with the twitch of my head for him to follow me.

Through the cafeteria doors and down a short hallway, there's another door that leads to an outdoor courtyard students can use in the warmer months.

Today, the sun is shining brightly above in the sky, the only thing keeping the temperatures rising unbearably being the slight breeze that passes occasionally.

I spot them immediately, sitting on top of a blanket under the shade of a nearby tree.

"Hey!" Finnick calls out, moving his arms around chaotically to gain our attention. I wave to him gently as Peeta and I grow closer, wedging our way in between them.

"Hey Jo," I smirk, watching as her mouth opens into a long 'O' shape, mimicking Annie who nods encouragingly with her, moving her hands slowly in foreign movements. She's been trying to teach Johanna sign language for about a month now, and Johanna is determined to learn.

"If Odair can learn it, I'll be damned if I can't!" she snorted when she had first agreed. But now, after just a few weeks in, the frustration has begun to grow and I watch as she slams her fists hard into the ground beside her with a growl, because sign language is _fucking hard!_

"You'll get it," Finnick encourages smugly, laughing as she flips him the bird. She runs her fingers through her hair wildly, grunting as Annie mumbles words of encouragement.

I glance over at Finnick and Peeta who are facing one another with broad smiles, carrying on a steady flow of conversation with one another. It's so much different than the scene just a couple years ago... or even last year, but for some reason it feels as if this is the way it's always been.

Peeta seems a completely different person with the change. He's grown into his own, so to speak, no longer needing to rely on me for translation purposes. He's much more independent and school is an exciting place for him, one where he's much more included and feels less 'outcast.'

Especially now that he has Annie.

He spots my gaze and grins widely, winking toward me before turning his attention back to Finnick. I sigh deeply, taking a bite into my cookie with a smile.

Because everything has finally pieced itself together.

"Have you turned in any of your applications yet?" Madge asks as I glance down curiously at the checklist that rests on her lap. Down the list, there are about four different schools with lines through them, three remaining unmarked.

"Not yet, I'm still waiting for Peeta," I scowl in his direction mockingly and his eyebrows lift in question.

"_Have you even though about any schools you might want to apply to?" _I ask. _"It's a little important."_

He moves his hands like they are mouths in imitation of me and my mouth drops open, feigning hurt to which Finnick rolls with laughter. Peeta only mimics my movements more, pulling his thumb away from the rest of his curved fingers, making me chuckle.

"_I'm serious. You need to be more proactive, you know."_

"_It's September, you know," _he replies, and I narrow my eyebrows at him before placing another large bite of food past my lips.

Throughout the remainder of lunch, I'm still thinking about how we're beginning to fall behind in our preparations for next year, and if we don't get a move on, we might not be accepted into the same schools at all.

I swallow deeply.

The bell rings inside the school, signaling lunch is over, and we wave goodbye to our friends who fold the blanket up as we take the extra time to get to our next class.

Peeta watches me suspiciously, acutely aware of silence and touches my arm gently, furrowing his eyebrows in a silent question.

"_Are you very worried about our applications?" _he finally asks, phrasing it in a way that makes me feel stupid.

"_I just want to make sure we have options... options that lead us in the same direction," _I conclude. _"You haven't forgotten what happened last time already, have you?"_

"_No, I remember," _he sort of smirks. _"You went insane."_

My mouth opens in a scoff and he chuckles loud enough for me to hear before wrapping an arm around me and squeezing gently.

"_You went insane too, you know," _I grumble in response, but Peeta only winks. We walk silently until we're in front of his next classroom's door. He gives me one tight squeeze before promising to turn in his applications.

"_I don't want to be split up from you either you know," _he says, teasingly. _"I've got to keep my eyes on you."_

"_As I do, you," _I reply and the smile grows on his face.

He's halfway through the door before he turns back and flashes me our 'I love you' sign and I feel that familiar flutter bubble within my stomach.

_I love you, too._

* * *

_March 2018_

"We should start a rebellion," I mention to Rye as he hangs up the phone with yet another customer. It's been our busiest Saturday all month, with the phones basically off the hook and orders climbing as it grows further into the afternoon.

And, of course, Peeta isn't here.

Galen retired about six months ago, turning the keys over to his youngest son, and by extension, me. Neither Rye nor Bannock neither wanted responsibility of the small bakery, but had no opposition to helping out on the weekends when needed. Usually, between Peeta and I, we had things under control.

But that's when he doesn't _ditch, _of course.

"Who are you rebelling against now?" Rye teases, brushing his flour-colored hands over his apron before moving over to the flattened dough he abandoned momentarily.

"Your brother," I grumble.

I think back to this morning, when I woke entangled in Peeta's form and he let me know he wouldn't be able to make it into work today.

"_Rye will be there to help though."_

When I questioned _why,_ his answer was a little too vague for my taste, and I definitely noticed the way his eyes refused to meet mine as he signed. Peeta's never been much of a secret keeper, well, at least not from me. So his suspicious behavior for the past couple of weeks have lead me to believe something is most definitely up.

And with a little help from Rye, I have a feeling it's directly related to my upcoming birthday, especially when mention of having a couple people over this evening (the last Saturday before my birthday) came up.

We've never done much to celebrate my birthday (unless last year when Rye took me out and got me drunk off my ass counts, which it _doesn't), _but I like it that way. I've never been much for excessive attention. Even as a child, I stopped having parties around eight or nine.

"I'm in," Rye snorts. "What the fuck does he ever do around here? Sheesh, you'd think he owned the place or something."

"What time is it?"

"Three."

_Damnit._

If Peeta had been working today, I could have him convinced to close up shop early for the afternoon. I'm sure with enough persuasion, I could have Rye convinced too, but it's much simpler with Peeta.

All I have to do is drop to my knees.

"What's he doing today, anyway? He's been acting kind of weird these past couple weeks, don't you think?" I try playing dumb, knowing fully well Peeta isn't the only Mellark who has trouble keeping things from me. In fact, when I play my cards right, all those Mellark men are putty in my hands.

Rye adverts his gaze from me, down-casting his eyes to the floor and twitching his lips from left to right as he presses a pan of dough into the ovens.

"What do you mean?" he clears his throat when his words crack and runs his hand over the back of his head nervously.

"I don't know. He's been sneaking around, acting a little funny..."

"I haven't really seen him much lately," he speaks smoothly, though it's his traitorous eyes that give him away as they look anywhere but at me.

"Rye," I sing.

"Yes?" he responds in the same tone.

"Are you hiding something?"

"No!" he frowns, his face flooding with relief as the telephone rings once more. "I'll get that!"

I watch him as he rushes to the phone, chanting out the familiar greeting before taking the pen that rests behind his ear out and jotting down a note with a nod. He chats politely for a long minute before hanging up and sighing deeply.

He jumps slightly when he notices me still staring in his direction.

"Sheesh, Katniss," he grunts, holding his heart playfully like I frightened him. "Nothing is going on."

"All right," I say, putting my hands up in surrender. "I'm just making sure. You _know_ how I feel about surprises."

He's silent, and when I turn around his eyes grow slightly wider, his mouth opening and closing before he finally clamps it completely shut.

"Rye?"

"You can't say _anything," _he hisses and I smirk, knowing he's finally fully cracked.

"Spill."

"Shit, he's going to kill me."

* * *

With everyone planning to come over to Peeta and my house this evening, Rye and I decided it'd be best to carpool to work, and drive in his car back to our house as the sky begins growing dark.

Peeta and I found a nice little townhouse not far from either of our previous homes and moved in together this past December, a couple months after we'd finished school.

With so much excitement surrounding us - Peeta gaining ownership of the Mellark bakery, our taking the plunge of moving in with one another, and the news of Finnick and Annie's expected little one this spring - there's hardly been any sort of down time.

This is the first time all of us will have gotten together in _months. _

We pull up on the small street and I note the several cars leading up our small driveway and parked in the grass along side the house.

Rye spilled everything this afternoon, wide-eyed and red-faced, unable to get his mouth to stop. As suspected, this entire thing is meant to be a surprise twenty-second birthday party that everyone has worked to put together.

We're walking up the wet-stained path leading to the house when Rye reminds me in a hushed whisper that I _better_ act surprised.

"I've got this, don't worry," I say, waving him off with a small wink.

I fight to keep my face neutral as I twist the knob, going over my surprised expression in mind before stepping inside the door. The look of masked neutrality melts to one of pure confusion when I'm met by stares of everyone standing toward the threshold of our small townhouse.

I would have thought they'd be _hiding. _Rye did say this was a surprise party, right? Looks to me like the surprise is that it's actually an intervention.

To the right of the doorway is a small arch that leads into our kitchen, and Finnick leans propped against it, sipping on his drink casually as he twitches his fingers in a hello. Prim presses past their bodies, her hair pulled back into two tight braids that wrap around the top of her head and she smiles slyly, bouncing her way over.

"Hi Katniss!"

"...Hi."

"How was work?" Johanna questions and my eyebrows knit together as Rye answers for me, explaining how it was a long, tiresome day and we were excited to sit back and relax this evening. I turn to him perplexed and he winks the same way I had moments earlier.

_What's going on? _My face silently begs for answers, but he presses past me without another word and motions for Finnick to fill him up a cup.

"What's for dinner?"

We chat about mindless, silly things, all the while continuing to congregate in the middle of the hallway area before I finally wonder aloud where Peeta is.

"I think he's in the living room," Johanna mumbles.

"By himself?" I frown, noticing how even Annie stands off to the side, rubbing her protruding belly thoughtfully.

Johanna shrugs and I push past her annoyed, walking briskly down the hall to where I see the television flickering, subtitles on. My heart sinks as I begin to wonder if he's all right, or if something has happened today to upset him. Typically, it isn't like him to segregate himself like this.

I hardly have time to address these feelings, because as I beeline to the living room, I stop in my tracks when I note the way Peeta sits with his legs tucked under his body on the ground.

He glances up to meet my eyes, and quickly repositions himself so that he's balancing on one knee, smiling shyly in my direction before giving me a gentle wave.

It feels like my heart is lodged in my throat, and I'm stunned still, hardly noticing the bodies of people who begin flooding around us. The room is silent; no whispering, no tapping of feet... not even soft breaths can be heard. At least not in my mind, because I'm lost in a different world, one that only holds Peeta and I, who swallows heavily at the small audience.

Slowly, as if unsure of himself, his hands lift up into our _I love you_ sign and I drop to my knees in front of him, falling into a ball by his side and gripping his knee for support. His steady position on one knee breaks and he rests more comfortably beside me. His fingers lift my chin delicately and slowly his face draws closer to mine until our lips are touching.

It's a chaste action, which ends quickly as he keeps one hand on mine and the other digs nervously in his pocket before fishing out a small black box.

Although by this point it's expected, I still find myself gasping as he opens it and I peek inside.

It's much different from a typical wedding ring, because instead of a diamond, it's a pearl that glows up at me, encased by a white gold crown which holds it in place. My mouth falls open at it's beauty and it's only when I look back up to see his red-stained eyes that I realize I'm crying.

He places the box in my hands and I cradle it gently as he shakes his own out and takes a deep breath.

"_I've pictured doing this so many times," _he says, releasing a shaky breath. _"I just never thought I'd actually get to."_

I swallow heavily.

"_Growing up, I used to stop and think about how lucky I was to have you as a friend. And even though all the while I was secretly wanting more, I never expected it, because... well... I knew it was a miracle we were even what we were."_

He reaches over to wipe one of the beaded tears that clings to my cheek and I smile embarrassedly, sniffing before doing the same to his red face.

"_But now, waking up with you each morning, knowing that you feel the same way about me as I do you... I can't remember a time before this." _

"_Me either," _I promise and his lips twitch up involuntarily.

"_I know we're already living with one another, and I know we've already vowed to be exclusive with one another, and love one another whole-heartedly," _again he swallows.

"_But can we make it official?"_

I nod vigorously and again he kisses me gently.

"_Katniss? Will you marry me?"_

"_Yes."_

* * *

End of Part One

* * *

It's a lot harder seeing this story come to a close than I thought it'd be. Thank you so much for the amazing support throughout this entire project, it's been unbelievable! As I mentioned before, to any of you who are interested there will be a sequel to With Eyes to Hear coming in the near future. It's called: Eyes Wide Open so keep on the lookout!

I plan to post a teaser-type thing on my tumblr page (ivegotthesclaf) along with a couple one-shot type stories from this universe. Thanks again for everything! Take care until next time!


End file.
